"what's wrong with who I am now?
my voice, is still my voice. . ."
"I was never Riley."
Katy spins around, pulling the pins out her hair. "Whatcha talkin' about, babygirl?"
Sniffling, Maya shifts around on her mother's bed. "They told me—they told me that I only liked Lucas because I became Riley. But, I'm not Riley."
"Oh, baby," Sitting down next to Maya, she lets her daughter lay her head in her lap. "Nobody advocates your friendship with Riley more than I do, in fact, nobody ever will. But, I need you to listen to what I'm going to tell you." Stroking her hair, Katy takes a deep breath. "Riley is not always right. Even when people have your best interest at heart, they can be wrong, they can make mistakes. Sometimes, the need to 'fix' people will lead them astray."
Maya shivers slightly and her mom continues running her fingers through the blonde locks. "She thought that the good grades, and the straight hair, and the Lucas, made me her. I was not her. I was doing better because of her. I love Riley. But, I don't love Lucas because of her."
"Listen to me." Sitting Maya up, Katy lifts her chin to look into her eyes.
The room is raw and the feelings are tense. It breaks Katy's heart to see her daughter's red-rimmed eyes and wet face. It reminds her too much of herself and she knows she immediately has to destroy whatever was darkness was cast over the light of her life. While her daughter has never been a happy child, there was still a warmth that she brought to Katy. Despite what storms raged around them, Maya had always been her safe haven.
She was the one person Katy refused to lie to and the only person she couldn't seem to disappoint, no matter what she did, Maya never looked down on her mom. In every situation they found themselves in Katy's constant was always her daughter.
"You are not Riley," Fresh tears begin streaming down Maya's face, but she keeps her eyes on her mother. "You will never be Riley," Wiping away the wetness and the dark streaks on Maya's cheeks, Katy smiles. "You are Maya Hart. You have always been Maya Hart. You will always be Maya Hart. There will never be another one."
"I'm Maya Hart."
It takes a while to put Maya to sleep, she curls around a pillow while Katy slips out and makes her way to the Matthew's residence.
It's late, way past the decent hour to come to their door, but it's urgent, so she refuses to wait. Knocking on the door, and crossing her arms over her chest, Katy tries her best not to barrel through the door. She's not angry, just frustrated with the situation and she knows she has to go to the source. As much as it's an issue between their children, Katy would go to bat for Maya every single day of the week, against any person who put a frown on her face.
A groggy Cory answers the door, and Katy doesn't greet him, she walks inside and sits down at their kitchen table. "Get your wife, we need to talk." Her voice is serious and she doesn't even make a cup of coffee. As a confused Topanga comes in and sits down across from Katy, she sighs. Thinking for a minute, "We need to talk about our daughters."
Topanga nods and Cory frowns slightly. "I appreciate this, and I appreciate Riley. I do. I love that she's so willing to help. I love that she makes my daughter feel safe, she's a good influence on her. But, at the same time," Katy swallows thickly and runs a hand through her hair. "At the same time, she is still a teenager, she has feelings. Just like my daughter is a teenager with feelings. And they just so happen to be for the same boy."
There's a pregnant pause and Topanga gestures for her to continue.
"Riley is not allowed to invalidate Maya's feelings just because they are for the same boy. She is not allowed to tell my daughter that she is becoming someone else because she is growing up and changing and getting good grades. Everyone is still figuring out who they are. Riley can't say that Maya turned into her, when Riley doesn't know who she is, herself."
Continuing cautiously, she glances at Cory. "I totally get that this 'triangle' is causing drama and tension, it happens, but making my daughter question who she is, is not okay with me." Katy inhales again. "Maya is Maya. And there is not a person in this world who can tell her that she isn't."
"I understand, Katy." Cory nods, glancing at Topanga and then letting his gaze settle on Katy. "The last thing I would want to teach Riley is to make people fit into her idea of who they are because of who they used to be."
Nodding, Topanga agrees. "The point of making this world their own is to understand that people aren't always going to be the same person yesterday, today, and tomorrow." Looking pointedly at Cory, she chews on her bottom lip.
"We'll talk to Riley, Katy." He concedes.
"Thank you." Rising to her feet, Katy gives a tight smile and walks to the door.
Topanga follows in her robe and messy hair. "Katy?"
"Yeah?"
"Maya is a fierce little woman, it's in her blood."
Grinning, Katy pulls Topanga into a light hug and walks out of their home. When she makes it back home, Maya is still laying in her bed, hair fanned out around the pillow. Changing her clothes, the second Katy rolls into bed, Maya moves over to her side, latching onto her mother.
"You're always going to be you, baby girl."
Maya snores a bit, and Katy chuckles as she wraps up her daughter.
They sleep late into the next day, and it's nearly noon before they finally hear the knocking on their door. Maya groans, Katy sighs, neither moves.
"Momma."
"Maya."
The knocking gets louder.
"Momma."
"Maya."
The knocking continues. Yet, neither of the Hart women attempt to get up.
"What time is it?"
"I don't know, Saturdays don't have a time."
Maya buries her face into her mother's neck. The knocking stops and they sigh and relax.
"Ugh!" Throwing off the covers, they run to the door. Swinging the door open, they're both face to face with Lucas.
Neither are in the mood for company. Maya's hair was matted in some spots and frizzy in the other. Katy's clothes were rumpled and her eyes had bags in them, despite the near 8 hours of sleep they just had. Lucas recoiled a bit at the identical looks he was receiving from Maya and her mother. He notices how easily Maya folds into her mother's side, she fits in perfectly and it looks so natural.
"H-h-hello." Lucas whispers, not making any sudden movements.
Maya sighs, dragging a hand over her face. "Lucas, why are you here? Do you have any clue what time it is?" Her face is tired and her eyes are red. And he knows that he shouldn't find her breathtaking, but he does, and that certainly isn't fair.
"You-um, can I-um, we can talk? I mean we can talk, but, I want to talk to you, um, now...if that's okay with you?" He's not sure what he just said, and he'll be damned if she understands what he said. And seriously, it is not fair that she gets to look so beautiful when she's not even fully awake.
Katy pats Maya's side, and whispers that she'll be in her room. Stepping aside, Maya lets Lucas in and folds her arms over her chest. "What's up, Sundance?"
Lucas jams his hands into his pockets and paces around for a few minutes before stopping right in front of her. "You're Maya."
"And you're Lucas?" She replies raising a questioning eyebrow at him.
"No," He takes a deep breath and looks down at her. "You are Maya. You aren't Riley. You are passion, and fire, and you're loud, and funny, and gorgeous. You are not Riley." Lucas finds a glint in her blue eyes, so he keeps going. "I heard about the whole 'you sold your house in Mayaville and moved to Rileytown' crap and I don't believe it. I believe that you have always been Maya. Even when you were Riley you were still Maya. I like that about you. I like who you are. I like that you paint and I like that you get good grades sometimes. I like that you're growing up. That doesn't make you Riley. God, you are so..."
Maya can't bring herself to pull away from him, and she knows they're standing too close for comfort at the moment. "I like you, Lucas. That's Maya telling you that. I don't like you the that way Riley does. I like you, all the time, everyday, in any moment, and you and I both know that. You make me happy. And that's why I like you. But, everyone thinks that because I'm changing, it means that I'm broken."
He takes his hands out of his pocket and slowly unfolds her arms. Her bottom lip falls slightly and he rests a hand on her waist.
"You are not broken," Lucas tips her chin up. "You're just a different kind of explosive."
"You're so freaking cliché." The air is charged around them.
But, she steps away and walks into a different room. Lucas stands awkwardly in her living room and listens to her sink turn on then off, and hears what he thinks sounds like squealing. Maya walks back and stands on the other side of the couch where he sat down. Getting back to his feet, he sees that her hair is still somewhat of a mess, and she wears a sheepish smile.
Maya plays with her fingers. "Sorry, I didn't brush my teeth and I didn't want to kiss you with morning breath."
"Understandable." They're standing a lot farther apart now and the distance makes him uncomfortable. A silence takes over the space between them until he finally grows annoyed and rushes back into her space. Grabbing her face the same way he did in Texas all those months ago, Maya sucks in a tight breath.
She smells like mints and cherries and it's an intoxicating combination. "Did I tell you that you're beautiful?"
"I heard gorgeous earlier."
"You, Maya Hart, are beautiful." His lips slowly descend on hers and she swears that nothing has ever felt more right to her. She feels like Maya, and she doesn't have to prove who she is to anyone. She knows who she is. So, she's going to kiss him how she wants to. She pushes herself up on her toes and wraps an arm around his neck. One hand falls from her cheek and settles on the small of her back, bringing her as close as possible. Lucas pulls back to catch his breath, but he's right back again, swallowing up the breathy sounds she's making.
He's faintly aware of the fact that her mother is in the next room, still he can't bring himself to remove himself from her. Maya's hands are now tangled in his hair, and his are squeezing her hips. Her lips are everywhere, on his lips, on his neck, grazing his collarbone, and then back on his lips again.
"Get it, baby girl!" Katy yells from across the room.
Dropping her head into his neck, Maya chuckles. Looking over her shoulder, she smiles. "Thanks, Momma."
"I really like your daughter, Ms. Hart." Lucas voice wavers a bit, only because Maya's still pressed against him. But, he's sincere. And Katy knows that.
Nodding, Katy sets her hands on her hips. "I know."
This was kind of pointless, but I had to write it because I abhor the whole 'Maya became Riley' plotline crap, that was just a bunch of garbage, man. Like, no. You can't become a person who doesn't even know who they are yet.
Also, I have written Lucaya in a while, so I've been deprived I guess.
And this is because of that.
+ I watched "Maya Hart | I'm still me [3x05]" by belovesick - (it's v powerful) before I wrote this
++ This is dedicated to my Momma, tiramisuspice, because I love her and I love the way she writes.
XOXOXO, Minnie