Gods, the opening ceremony is so BORING. I've only been to one of these snooze-fests before, and I'd still rather be zapped by my own Skrill if I had the choice.

The Meathead kicked it off with a prayer of thanks to Odin, which was decent enough, but everything went downhill from there, just like the last time.

Once the prayer was over, the chiefs formed a line - it didn't really matter who stood where so long as Mogadon went last. Then they started their slow march. Then, one-by-one, they made their slow way to Odin's statue. Then they slowly lowered themselves to bow and/or pray. And then, it got even better, and totally not boring: they stood still on the stage and waited for the next chief to do the exact same thing. Norbert's the only one who stood out. He chose to show his respects to the forest instead of the statues because of course he did. Why I thought he'd follow the rules is beyond me…

Come to think of it, why do I still follow the rules? If Norbert can get away with his "walking stick", I bet I could get away with a few "letter openers". Probably. Maybe.

Anyway, it felt like hours had passed by the time Mogadon took the stage. He gave a short bow to the other chiefs, turned around, and started preaching all in six motions. He's not the most fluid of people. Especially when he's forcing himself to be "formal" and "chiefly".

And the speech itself...

"-which's why international harmony's so important at times like-"

Ugh. International Harmony. Whatever. The sentiment is 'nice' and all, but it never works like that in real life. Different people, different traditions, different values. They collide. They don't 'harmonize'.

"-and charitable, which I hope-"

Bah! "Charity" is just another word for weak people getting what they want without offering anything in return.

"-but not least, please remember-"

And "Please" is just another word that helps weak people get what they want without offering anything in return. It makes me sick just thinking about it.

"That's all."

And what do you know, it's done already. Not like I should expect more from this tame, inoffensive, and boring event. And just to prove my point, the other chiefs all gave small, dumb speeches of their own, with Stoick's the best and my father's the worst. No surprises there.

By the end of it, a lot of words came out of people's mouths but nobody said anything worth remembering, let alone done anything worth remembering. This opening ceremony... no, politics in general tends to work like that, which is why I hate it, which is why I'll be having a guy to do all that stuff for me when I take my father's place. Savage should be good for a while, but after that…

Damn. I just realized how much I ramble when I'm bored. Whatever.

Next up is pretty much the same thing, only with the heirs without the speeches, thank Gods. Oh, and it's Thor who gets the reverence this time around. I, of course, snuck my bow to Loki. Hiccup didn't seem too enthusiastic about bowing to Thor either. Actually, of the three heirs who had to do it, myself included, Camicazi's the only one who didn't mind. Finally, last and least, Thuggory's bow to the three of us (matching up with that whole 'valuing allies' thing, at least in theory) was even less enthusiastic than Hiccup's, which is saying something. That might have had something to do with our prank. Not that I really care.

Mogadon's voice finally rose above the others' after Thuggory had taken his place on stage. "Alright everyone, now that we can officially begin what we came here to do, I ask that we all head to Odin Hall as soon as possible. I know some of you just got here and still need time to prepare, so I'll start the meeting in one hour. We have a lot of ground to cover, and I think we all want to get back to our villages as soon as possible. If things go smoothly, we could even be able to set sail as early as tomorrow."

Bertha coughed. "I doubt we'll be so lucky." She was just as gruff and blunt as usual, unlike the Meathead. One look at her icy blue eyes was enough to see why. "Unless you've forgotten, now the Berserkers and the Hooligans have a few secrets of their own to share with the rest of us, not to mention whatever it is you Meatheads discovered in the first place."

Norbert sneezed. "Ooohh, I can't wait! I love secrets! So long as they're not my secrets, anyway."

Hmph. Didn't think he had it in him to make sense. For once he said something vaguely right. It is always fun to learn the deepest, darkest secrets of others (and sometimes even the just normal ones). Especially when you get to keep your own dirt under wraps.

"It's not exactly a secret, old man. I was never planning on hiding it. That'd be too boring!"

The Nut looked like he was about to keep the fun going before Mogadon ruined it. "Let's save it for the meeting, people. I'll prepare the Hall so we can start on time. If it's not too much trouble, I'd ask you to keep to yourselves until then."

All the other chiefs nodded in agreement and began moving out to the harbor while Mogadon turned to the Hall.

Typical ruiner-of-fun, that one.

"Alright Dagur, time we get back to the ship and prepare our story."

Speaking of mood-killers... "No need. I know what I want to say. There's nothing to prepare."

"That wasn't a request, Son."

Great. I didn't realize just how comfortable I'd gotten with not having to deal with this nuisance of a father. I hope he's not planning wasting the entire hour. But knowing him... "How long do you think it'll take?"

"An hour, of course!"

Great.