I open my eyes only to narrowed them at the bright light from the light above my head. I'm in a white room a door is somewhere along the wall to my right but I can't tell you off from memory where it is. I wonder briefly if it's locked after my late night outings recently. I had been walking around the halls in the dead of night. I scowl when I think of the guard that found me last night. He forced me back to this room and left after plugging me into a machine that helps me sleep. Or so they say it's suppose to. It doesn't work well for me. I guess it's because my nightmares are nothing like they've experienced in Thirteen.

I came here after the Quell to be the mockingjay. I dislike everyone and everything here even Gale and Haymitch. I can't forgive any of them for leaving Peeta and Chase in the arena. Even more so I hate Thirteen for leaving the remaining Twelve districts to fight against the Capitol for seventy five years. For not even flinching when they heard about the games that had rose from the Dark Days. I can't believe the other surviving citizens of Twelve. They work right alongside Thirteen as if they have been friends all their lives. Even those like Haymitch who knows what the games are like. The only person I can forgive is Finnick Odair. A victor from District 4, he understands why I hate the people here, Mags who had been his mentor and practically raised Finnick was killed in the arena. The love of his life was taken by the Capitol just after the games. He knows how I feel and unlike other people he doesn't tell me how I am lucky to be here. He understands when we talk about how we wish everyone in the Capitol was dead including Annie, Peeta and Chase. When we talk about wishing that they were dead and we were too. Away from the games and the nightmares that the memory of the games will forever bring even after the war is long over.

Gale however I menton Peeta and he looks hurt. I talk about Chase and he looks away from me. Gale is a tall muscular man he's nineteen years old. He super handsome and all the girls drool over him. We've been hunting partners since our fathers died in the mines. He's a great hunter and can set amazing snares. He has feelings for me and since the first games when Peeta declared his love for me and all the kissing that happened in the arena. His and mine friendship hasn't been the greatest. He can't forgive me for not telling him about Peeta and I's engagement or me not telling him I was pregnant. He can't see that all I did was to keep Peeta and I alive in the arena.

I sigh squinting makes my head hurt so I close my eyes again. Images of the Quell swim under my closed eyelids. Peeta's face, Johanna hitting the spool of wire on my head, the hovercraft appearing in the sky and my arrow hitting the force field before I blacked out. I am reminded of my only meeting with Haymitch since the last games. When he told me where my newborn son Chase -who was born in the arena- and his father are. My heart feels as though it rips in two when I think of Peeta and I's son. A image of him curled up between Peeta and I in the arena swims into my vision. Sleeping peacefully, calm, thanks to Peeta, unaware that in a few short hours he would be captured by the Capitol, being tortured.

I hear the door to my room in the hospital open. I open my eyes and looked up at the ceiling trying not to squint my eyes at the bright light. It's Gale he sits in a chair beside my bed and takes my hand. I pull it away.

"Don't," I say harshly.

He flinches as if I had just hit him he looks at me with concern and sadness.

"Katniss the doctors say you're healed president Coin won't give you much time to mourn Peeta," he says he looks like he trying to be more caring.

"You think it's just Peeta I'm mourning?" I ask still somewhat harsh.

"Katniss I don't think Snow will do anything to Chase," Gale whispers.

I glare at him "really? Then you don't know Snow!" I say simply.

Gale stares at me holding my glare "Katniss Coin wants to see you."

"I don't want to talk about the rebellion!" I snap.

"I know you don't but…." he trails off.

"Gale no one here knows what I feel they've lived underground for years! My son and fiance might be getting tortured as we speak!" I say.

Gale looks less sympathetic at the word 'fiance' he looks at his hands. I looks back at the ceiling. I start to think of the lines I've been told to tell myself when my thoughts get fuzzy.

I'm Katniss Everdeen. I'm from district twelve. I was in the Hunger Games. I survived. Twelve no longer exists. Peeta my fiance and my son Chase were taken. They could be dead. It's probably best if they are dead.

I stop, thinking of Chase and Peeta is too painfully. The thought of the two people I have loved more than my father and sister, dead. I feel like I've failed Peeta. Gale turns to look at the door and Plutarch Heavensbee came into the wing. I look up at him my face emotionless.

"The president has requested to see you," he tells me.

"I've heard," I say sharply.

Plutarch Heavensbee was the former head gamemaker for the Quell or that's what I was told. Turns out he was an undercover worker of Coin the president of District Thirteen. I've been told I owe him my life since he got me out of the arena. But I believe it, he didn't do me a favor to save me for Coin, instead of saving Peeta and Chase.

Plutarch smiles sympathetically "Katniss Peeta isn't going to stop fighting. You have to help him."

I sigh and this makes me hate him more because he's right. Peeta wouldn't stop fighting unless he knew Chase and I were dead.

I sigh "fine. For Peeta."

Gale frowned at this but doesn't say anything.

I sit up and glare at Gale. They leave and I change into the gray jumpsuit that all the people here wear. I comb my hair out with my hand and then put it in a braid down my back. I open the door and walk down the hall. Gale waits at the lift and he opens the door and slide it closed once we step inside. It's starts to rattle and shake as we move. I study my shoes hoping he'd get that I don't want to talk.

"Katniss," he starts.

"Gale I don't want to talk!" I say stopping him.

Gale sighs before opening the lift door. I lead the way down the hall and through the door. I stop in my tracks at the door. Plutarch and Coin sit talking across the table. Boggs a head commander sits alone staring at the light on the roof that was flickering. While Haymitch looked back at me.

"What are you doing here?" I ask harshly knowing I shouldn't have the moment it leaves my mouth.

The president looks up at me. Her gaze disapproving. Boggs looks away from the light and stares at Gale and Haymitch as if I'm not here. Plutarch however looks quite calm his gaze shifting from the president to me.

"I happen to be part of the executive team sweetheart," he replied.

I stare at him for a few moments before Gale leads me over to sit in front of the president. I sit down Gale sits in the seat on my right. I frown when Haymitch takes his seat on my left. I look at the president.

"Soldier Everdeen," she greets me.

I nod my own greeting. She pauses to look at me.

"Miss Everdeen as you now when you shot that arrow in the arena you caused an uprising. They are still uprising but they're starting to draw back," she says.

"How's that have anything to do with me?" I ask.

"As the mockingjay you are the spark of the rebellion. People don't know if you're alive or dead," she replied.

"So," I say.

"So, we need to get some footage of you alive and fighting with the rebels," she says.

I stare at her "so you want me to be the mockingjay?"

"No, Katniss we got you out of the arena to be the mockingjay, you owe us your life Soldier and now you repay us by being the mockingjay," she replies.

"Peeta was suppose to get out of that arena!" I say starting to lose my temper which had been short since the first games.

"Soldier Everdeen, you are the mockingjay, you where the one that needed to get out of the arena," she replies.

"So you chose me over a baby!" I say.

Gale puts his hand on my leg, I shake it off.

"Well….Soldier Everdeen," she starts.

I can't hear anymore so I stopped her "my son and Peeta are in the Capital getting tortured!"

Coin starts to look annoyed "Soldier are you going to be the mockingjay…..?"

I am on my feet "if you wanted a mockingjay then you should have saved Peeta!" I say before storming out.

I see Boggs try to stop me but Gale holds him back. I start running until I'm in a unknown tunnel and I sit down and lean against the wall. I sit down and stare at the wall across from me. I feel a tear roll down my cheek and sigh before cupping my face in my hands. I sit there for a long time until I've cried myself dry. I get to my feet and walk to the cafeteria. I get in line and then slam my tray down beside Gale. He looks up at me.

I ignore him and start eating. I notice his cufflink -that he got shortly after we arrived here- was gone. He notices and follows my gaze to his wrist.

"It was because you stopped Boggs?" I guess.

Gale nods.

"Hope you are expecting thanks," I say.

Gale sighs and gets to his feet "fine by the way your face is red."

I glare at him "thanks!"

Gale holds my glare "Katniss…."

"Gale my son and Peeta are in the Capital getting tortured and they want me to lead a rebellion!" I shout.

I'm on my feet again and yelling at the top of my lungs. People turn to stare. Gale looks surprised. That's when I feel the tears strolling down my cheeks.

"Chase is being tortured! Who knows what's happening to him! Who knows if I'll ever get to see them again!" I cry.

Gale looks at me with concern. I can't image what he's thinking. I don't think he's ever seen or even heard of me crying.

I start sobbing and gasping for breath "it's all my fault they're gone! If I had just eaten those berries in that arena. Peeta could have….."

Gale stops me "Katniss, Peeta could have what? Watched kids die every year! Mentor children to their deaths! Lived a life alone for fear of one day sending his own child to their death! Katniss you haven't hurt Peeta you've given him an opportunity!"

"Yes I have!" I cry my head is starting to throb.

Gale puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me to on the chair I was sitting down. I put my face in my hands and start sobbing again. Gale starts to rub my back. I shake his hand off.

"Don't!" I sob.

Gale looks surprised.

"It's selfish of me to allow you to flirt with me! He could be dieing or dead and we have a son," I sob.

Haymitch watches from the next table. I realize I need a hug but I hate Haymitch so much and hugging Gale doesn't seem right. I catch his gaze, he gets to his feet and wipes his hair from his eyes. I see four scarlet scratches along his cheekbones -I had scratched him during last meeting-. He walks over and pulls a chair up in front of me.

He looks sympathetic "Katniss come on I need to talk to you alone." he takes my hand and helps me to my feet and leads me down a hallway.

I follow without a word. He stops and pulls out a handkerchief and hands it to me. I blow my nose and wipe my eyes dry.

"What?" I ask.

Haymitch doesn't answer. He instead wraps his arms around me and I start crying again.

"Peeta's going to fight," he says.

I nod "I know he will."

"So then we need to keep fight as well," he says.

I look at him.

"We have to work together now so you say what's on your mind," says Haymitch.

I look at him "okay before the Quell I told you I wanted you to save Peeta!"

Haymitch looks at me "you were pregnant!"

"Not at the end I wasn't!" I say.

"I know and I'm really sorry!" he says.

I nodded "alright now you say it."

He looks up before scowling "I can't believe you let them out of your sent!"

I nod looking at my shoes "you don't think I know that!"

"I know you know Katniss. You think I want to be here? I want a bottle so bad I'm ready to take off and head to district eleven. But I'm still here you know why?" he asks.

I just stare at him.

"Because Peeta's still alive. He's not dead yet and neither are we. Where still in the games Katniss alright?" he asks.

I nod. He gives me a sympathetic smile before wrapping me in another hug "it's going to be alright."

We stay there for a long time before he lets me go "come on you should eat something."

I nod and follow him back to the cafeteria. Gale is sitting at the table staring at a TV screen. I look at it to see the Capital seel. Caesar Flickerman is sitting in a white chair with the same purple hair and makeup he had for the Quell. Haymitch looks up before rolling his eyes and looks at his feet. I copy him not wanting to see and hear anything from the Capitol. The anthem plays in the background and Caesar waits for it to end before speaking.

"A greeting to all of Panem," he starts "some of you might be thinking why I'm here. Well I'm here tonight because there's a special somebody who is here to say speak to all of you."

The camera changes and I hear a gasp from Gale and I look up and cover my mouth with my hand. Peeta is sitting -holding Chase- in a white chair. He's wearing the same white suit the Capitol had made for him to marry me which was all a trick. Both of them look unhurt aside from a burn on Peeta's cheek. I walk over to the screen and my hand is on his cheek. A tear rolling down my own. I stare at his face before looking up and down my sons body. He's skinnier than most babies his age. Haymitch is beside me studying them. I look up from Chase and study Peeta's face. He looks like he's trying to hide his feelings but he's never had practise like I do. His face looks tortured and pained. It kills me inside to see him this hurt. His eyes are lost but behind that there's determination. He is fighting for himself, Chase and myself. What is he doing to you, I ask myself.

"Hello Panem," Peeta greets his voice is wobbly it cracks when he speaks.

Caesar looks at Peeta for a moment before speaking "how do you feel Peeta?"

"Physically?" he asks.

Caesar stares "explain please."

"Physically I'm fine. I've healed well. Mentally there's wounds they haven't and will never heal," he replies.

"Why not Peeta?" Caesar asks.

"First thing you have to realize that in the arena you fear losing more than your life or at least the decent people do," he says.

I am hanging on to every word he says but my gaze never leaves my son. His blond hair is thicker than when I last saw him. His eyes are not open but the rise and fall of his chest helps me to keep calm and not smash the screen. My hand has moved down the screen and now hangs by my side.

"What do you mean Peeta how can you fear anything more than death?" ask Caesar.

"When you're in the arena you fear losing yourself," explains Peeta.

"I don't get that Peeta can you explain?" asks Caesar.

Peeta nods "killing other innocents makes you lose everything that you are. My last wish was to save Katniss."

I can see he's holding back tears and as if on cue Chase opens his eyes and gives a cry.

Peeta quiets him which takes at least ten minutes before continuing "I wanted Katniss to have a life with our son. But….."

"But you got seperated?" Caesar guesses who had been waiting patiently for Peeta to sush Chase.

"Yes, I should have gone and broke the alliance earlier in the day like she had suggested. But I was to wrapped up in…." he sighs.

"In Beetee's plan?" guesses Caesar.

"No in playing alley. I should have fought the others more when they wanted to separate us. That's when I lost her," he looks down at Chase who looks up at him.

My heart melts Chase's eyes are only a shade lighter than his father's. His little eyes are so much more alert and focused then when I last seen him. He's not much bigger than the last time I saw him though.

"That's when I failed everyone I've ever really loved. I failed Chase an-an-and I fail Katniss," says Peeta who stutters.

I stare at him "you didn't fail me." I mutter "I failed you both. You're there being tortured and I'm here safe."

Peeta looks up "then the lightning hit the tree and the arena got destroyed and started to blow out."

"Yes but Peeta Katniss destroys the arena you saw the footage am I correct?" asks Caesar.

"She didn't know what she was doing. Neither of us knew there were anything bigger than the games," he insists.

Caesar nods "alright but Peeta there are many that find this suspicious it seems as though she was part of a rebel plan."

Peeta looks angry "well do you think it was part of her plan to be almost killed by Johanna? Or part of her plan to be paralyzed by lightning? No we were not part of any rebel plan! We had no idea what was going on!" his voice is rising.

"Alright, I believe you Peeta. I was going to ask you to talk about the unrest but you seem to be too upset," Caesar says.

Peeta shakes his head "no I can speak about them." he says before turning to look straight to the cameras.

I look back at him my eyes locked with his.

"I want to ask the rebels a question. Think of what happened the last time we went to war. Thirteen was destroyed! We almost went extinct, think of the amount of deaths that happened last time!" he urges then his eyes soften "Katniss if you're out there I'm so sorry."

Tears well in both our eyes. "I'm sorry too." I whisper.

"If you're out there Katniss be careful and know I love you," he says.

"I love you both so much," I whisper.

"Chase is safe I promise and we miss you. I'm sorry I failed," is all he can say before the screen turns black.

I feel Gale step closer "he had no right to say that!"

"Which part!" I snarl.

"The part about the rebels!" he snaps back.

"Oh sorry wasn't listening I was too busy surprised at how skinny they both looked and his face!" I say.

"Whatever Katniss you know he shouldn't have said that!" Gale shouts.

"I know he was probably saying things for the best interest of saving Chase and himself from Snow!" I say harshly.

Gale narrows his eyes before turning on his heels and storming off. I don't even want to chase after him. I sit down at my tray. The foods cold but I don't mind. Haymitch sits across from me and waits for me to finish. I take the time to look him over. He looks bad, he's been a drunk ever since his games. Thirteen doesn't allow any drinking no exceptions. Even the rubbing alcohol is kept under lock and key. Haymitch looks miserable he's never been sober after the games. Using the drink as an escape from the nightmares and the memory of the games. Now I catch him having long stares at the wall. I feel slightly sorry for him. He catches me looking at him. I push my tray away from me.

"Alright. What'd you think about the interview?" I ask.

"Chase and Peeta from the looks of things look like he said alright aside from being skinny. Physically, Mentally Peeta's hurting bad," Haymitch replies.

I nod "you think they aren't torturing him?"

"Oh I think they're doing things to Peeta probably not Chase however, I think Snow can only do so much to you without having a total uprising on his hands. He touches Chase and forget the districts. The Capitol would probably be in uprising," he says.

I nod "so what do you think they're doing to him?"

"Show him images of the games. Images of you and what could happen when they get there hands on you. Or what they have already done," say Haymitch "he hasn't seen you alive he was doing that out of hope."

I nod "do you agree with what Gale said?"

Haymitch shakes his head "I agree with you Peeta's saying and doing all he can to stay alive. Like you and him where in the games. But you have to remember Coin doesn't know what the games are like so she'll see it as treachery and so will Gale."

I sigh "I feel bad being so close to Gale. I'd never act on it but…."

Haymitch nods in understanding "it's alright to be friends with him."

"I hate it though he keeps trying to comfort me but….." I trail off.

"No one can comfort you like Peeta," Haymitch finishes for me.

I nod "thanks Haymitch for everything."

He takes my hands that were together sitting on the table.

"I want things in return for being the mockingjay," I decide.

"Like what?" he asks.

I take a moment before deciding "I want all of the tributes, Peeta, Johanna, Enobaria and Annie to be pardon from all that they do while in the Capital. I want them to be rescued at the next possible time and before I decide anything else I want to go visit Twelve."

Haymitch sighs "come on Coin wants to see you anyway."

I get to my feet and put my tray back. I turn and follow Haymitch to the lifts. We stand there in silence tell its rattling and shaking and we walk out and through a door. The president looks up.

"Soldier Everdeen," she starts.

"I know, I know you say my fiance's speech about the rebels and I don't know three more districts have stop fighting," I say.

"That's part of it the other thing is storming out this morning and yelling in the cafeteria is…." she breaks off.

Gale walks into the room "the cafeteria was my fault I pushed her to yelling."

I stare at him "Gale don't. President I lost my son and Peeta I am sorry if I lose it sometimes but you don't know the pain that I am feeling. The only one that could possibly feel what I feel is Haymitch but even I think his pain is less."

Haymitch looks at me "how sweetheart?"

"Because you know they aren't in danger. Who knows what Peeta and Chase are going through," I say.

Haymitch looks at me. Gale stares at the president. I dip my head to Coin.

She sighs "I can't argue that I know what your feeling because I don't. Have you thought of being the mockingjay?"

I nod "I have and I have come to ask for some time to think about it. During of which I will come up with a couple of things I would like in return."

"Alright," say Coin.

"Also I'd like to visit Twelve," I add.

Gale looks at me "Katniss you don't want to see it. Trust me."

"Gale I want to see my home," I say.

Coin holds her hand to silence Gale "alright you will be taken there tomorrow."

I nod "thank you."

She nods "get some sleep Soldier."

I nod and walk out Haymitch nods a goodnight to me and heads to his quarters. Gale looks at me. I start walking to the lift to head to my quarters. Gale follows.

"Look Katniss I'm sorry when I heard Peeta says he loves you and all that other mushy stuff I got mad. I'm sorry," he says.

I look at him "Gale I want to be just friends can you do that?"

He sighs "it will be hard."

I nod "I know it will be but Gale I have a son and Peeta and I are engaged."

Gale looks at his shoes "alright I can try my best."

"Thank you," I say.

"So I can't comfort you at all?" he asks.

"Gale you can but I don't think it will help. Only Peeta has ever been….." I can't finish.

"How can he only! I've known you since we were twelve!"

"Not the way Peeta and I have known eachother for the past three years," I say.

"How so?" he asks.

"Peeta and I have saved each other's lives. It's what we do and he knows what and why I am scared of my pillow!" I say.

"Maybe you should try explaining it to me!" he says .

"I can't Gale. I can explain everything but you won't get it only the people who have survived the games know what it's like," I say.

Gale sighs and gives me a hug "goodnight Katniss."

He walks out leaving me to stare after him. I walk out and down the hall to my quarters I open the door and go in. I sit on the bed and open a drawer by my bed. I take out a small silver pearl and roll it between my three fingers. My mother and sister are at the hospital now or dinner. I don't feel hungry so I stripe and have a quick shower. I brush my hair and put it in my hair in it's normal braid down my back. I change into pajamas and lay on my bed. My mother and sister sleep on the other since I lash around so much at night. I had calmed down quite a bit before the Quell but Peeta and I had slept together he had always been able to help me fight them. Now however there worst. I think of my last dream Chase and Peeta had been rescued by Thirteen but had hated me. Chase cried every time I tried to hold him if Peeta wasn't around because he was furious and made it so I couldn't hold him.

I put the pearl inside the drawer and close my eyes.

"I'm sorry Peeta," I whisper before falling asleep.

At times during the night I wake up screaming for Peeta to run. I fall asleep after crying myself out. I wake up and see the light pouring into the room. I decide it's not worth it to go back to sleep I slip into the jumpsuit and head to the cafeteria. Gale sits with Haymitch. I look around hoping to see Finnick but he must not be up yet. I get my breakfast and sit beside Haymitch. Gale looks hurt at this but I only see this before he looks at me with concern.

"You should try and sleep more," he suggests.

"Okay I will if you find a way to stop my nightmares," I say.

He sighs and turns to Haymitch "everything that comes out of my mouth she makes me regret."

Haymitch smiles "I thought you'd be used to it."

"She's never like this around me," says Gale.

Haymitch smiles "you'll get used to it."

I get fed up and see Finnick come and sit at the next table I go sit with him.

"Hey Katniss," he greets me "hear you are going to Twelve today good luck."

I nod "thanks. I'm sorry about Annie."

Annie was this insane girl who Finnick loved. She was captured by the Capitol after the games.

He sighs "I'm sorry about Peeta and Chase."

I nod "thanks."

"Peeta's strong and can lie his way out of anything," he says.

"I know but Chase can't," I point out.

"Doesn't need to as long as his father's alive," he says "by the way he's beautiful."

"Thanks for the help in the arena," I say.

He nods "it was nothing."

Finnick being from District 4 and his father being the Districts doctor was able to help me birth Chase in the arena. I owe him my own, Peeta's and Chase's life. I remember Chase's birth it hard and painful. Harder than surviving the games and more painful than burns which are the worst pains I've ever felt. It was long and exhausting. I owe every person in our alliance for not ditching or killing Peeta and I during it. Though this pain had the best reward than every other pain I've ever experienced. I remember the happiness that I felt when I held Chase for the first time.

The others had spread out to keep watch while I rested and to give Peeta and I some privacy even after I pointed out that the camera would be on us zoomed up close to our face but they insisted. Peeta who had been sitting nervously beside me holding my hand and whispering to me the whole time thanked the others before giving me a long lingering kiss. He sat beside me after asking about a thousand times how I felt which I lied about feeling great. We named our son and then I fed him and handed him to his father so I could get some sleep. I was woken what seemed to be moments later to itch back into the forest to allow the huge wave to happen. The happiness had been so powerful.

Happier than anything I had ever felt. Even when Peeta had asked me to marry him during the Victor Tour. I knew there would never be anything that felt remotely close to those couple of hours. Even though we had been in the arena I had felt safer than ever. Though it only lasted a couple of hours then I felt vulnerable. Every time the cannon went off Chase would start even from sleep and start crying which Peeta and I would hush as quickly as possible knowing the Careers would come try to kill us. Every time we faced danger I plead with Peeta to take our son and go. He wouldn't he would plead with Finnick to help carry me. I knew I endangered everyone since after the birth I was in pain and exhausted. Peeta would deny it and force me to keep going. I remember when we were told to be separated.

I remember giving Peeta Chase and kissed him. Before giving Chase a light kiss on the forehead whispering for him to take care of his father. I then told Peeta I'd see him at midnight. I remember hearing Chase start to cry when I left and forced the urge to turn around and run to him. I remember hearing a baby's cry before firing the arrow into the force field I knew it was my son and he wasn't far away.

Finnick gave me a shake "hey?"

"Sorry lost in thought," I say.

He nods.

"I owe you all my life for not leaving us during Chase's birth," I say.

"You shouldn't have been in the arena and it was our job," he says smiling.

I hit him lightly across the cheek "what'd you think of the interview yesterday?"

He frowns "Peeta and Chase look really skinny."

I nod "I know."

"Chase is smaller than what he should be probably out of lack of nutrients," he says.

"You think he'll survive?" I ask my voice cracking.

"If we get him back soon," he replies.

I nod "thanks Finnick."

"Want me to come?'' he asks.

"No thanks Gale's thinks he's coming down with me but even he isn't," I reply.

"Better go it's almost time," he says.

I nod and bid him goodbye. I walk to the lift and Boggs waits for me to escort me to the hanger. I walk beside him. He stops beside one of the hovercrafts.

"This is yours soldier good luck," he says.

I nod "thanks."

I walk on and the door locks behind me. I notice that only the pilot, Haymitch and Gale are there. Gale nods me to a sit and I sit and buckle in. He sits in the seat beside me and Haymitch sits across from us. He hands me a earpiece and I fixs it to my ear. We make sure it's working before Gale turns to me.

"Want me to come with you?" Gale asks.

I shake my head "no thanks Gale I want to go by myself."

He nods. The hovercraft lands and I walk out. I wait for it to take flight again before I gasp. The ash along the ground is clumpy I tell myself it's because of rain but I now what is under the ground. I walk to my old house in the seam. I past the Hob and the Justice Building. They are burnt to the ground. My customers selling stations are gone nothing but piles of ashes. The Justice Building stays standing though. It's blackened and bricks are loose. I walk and stop in my tracks they have burned my house to the ground just like the Hob. I look around breathing heavily. I start to recent the lines in my head when it starts to throb.

I'm Katniss Everdeen. I'm from district Twelve. I'm in Twelve right now it's gone burnt to piles of ash. I was in the Hunger Games twice I survived and escaped. I live in District Thirteen now. Peeta is in the Capitol he's not dead. I have to be the mockingjay. For Coin.

"Katniss need us to come get you?" Haymitch asks.

I hadn't noticed that I had started saying the lines out loud "no Haymitch I'm fine."

I turn on my heels and walk back into town. I look at the bakery where Peeta grew up. I run my hand down the half burnt down door. I think of the time Peeta had thrown the loaves of bread to me after burning them on purpose.

I sigh before pushing open the door. The stove is blown up and my stomach flips at the amount of damage. I look up the stairs and against my better judgement carefully scail them. I hear Haymitch in my ear telling me not too but I ignore it. I walk into what I hope is Peeta's room. Instantly I know it is. It smells like it faintly I smell baked goods and boy products. The ones he knew I liked. The windows open like it always is. I want to look in the drawers but I don't feel like it's my right. I walk out into the hall but something catches my eye. I see a picture of him, smiling brightly his eyes light up with happiness. It's covered in ash but otherwise untouched. I blow the ashes off and pick it up and put it under my arm. I walk to Victor Village the only place that was not destroyed. I walk into my house and up to my room I find my game bag, my hunters boots and my father's hunting jacket. I slip on the boots and jacket and put Peeta's picture in my bag. I open a drawer by my bed and stuff a picture of my father, our family herb guide book and a pair of Cinna's gloves -my stylist for the games he was beaten up before the Quell no one knows what has happened to him- into the bag as well before walking down the stairs.

I walk across to Peeta's house, I've never been over here before. I push open the door and take in the faint scent of baked goods. I breath it in I love the smell. It reminds me of Peeta. I walk upstairs and look at Peeta's room. It has two small pictures on a table next to his bed. One of his family and Peeta and I. I smile and put them both in my bag I know he will want these. I look around and close the window. I step out of the house and look at the lawn. My sisters ugly ginger cat sits on the fence. I grab him and stuff him in my bag as well. My sister would kill me if she found out. On the ground next to my sister's cats fence post on the ground lays a white rose. The black ground around it looks like it's glowing. I pick it up. I sniff it and drop it like it's a bug it smells of blood. The scent makes my head spin. I call for Haymitch to come pick me up, it lands and I step on.

Gale comes out "pretty bad isn't?"

I nod "yeah it is."

Gale sighs "I heard all the peacekeepers getting into there cars and drive off. I didn't know what was happening so I headed to the only place I could be safe. I took my family and yours. Others didn't want to go so guys from the mines and I started tossing kids on our shoulders. That's when the bombers arrived. The men and women started leading their families down the road afraid of going into the woods. We were there alone for three days before Thirteen could come and get us. They scent in bombers for the next two days after the first."

I walk over to him and hug him "thank you for saving them."

"It's my job," he whispers.

I flick him on the head. He smiles before leaning in and giving me a kiss. I don't pull away his lips are warm and steady. Haymitch gives a cough. I jump and back away from Gale looking at my shoes.

I turn to Haymitch "if we see Peeta again not a word!"

Haymitch glares at me "so this is how sorry you are to see Peeta in the Capitol kissing Gale?"

"I kissed her," he says.

"Yeah but she didn't stop you," he snarls.

I look from Haymitch to Gale "shut up Haymitch. Gale Haymitch is right I shouldn't have let you. It's not right."

I take out my sister's cat "I couldn't face Prim if I had left him."

Gale nods "you will have to see about it though they have strict rules."

"I know but I can always ask," I say.

Haymitch takes a look at the cat before turning to look at me "you get anything else."

I nod "my father's jacket and boots. My hunting bad. Some pictures from Peeta's house and some other things from my own."

Haymitch nods. I sit down in a chair and buckle myself in. Gale sits beside me. I take off the jacket since it's hot in the hovercraft. I stuff the cat back in my bag.

"What'd your sister name him again?" asks Gale.

I snort "Buttercup because of his sunny personality."

Haymitch snorts.

I sit back and start to think of Peeta. I feel guilty about kissing Gale. I take out the picture of him. I can't stop the tears anymore so they wheel in my eyes.

"I'm sorry Katniss I shouldn't have kissed you," Gale says.

I nod "we both shouldn't have."

We sit in silence until the Hovercraft pilot opens the door and we head out.

"Katniss…." he starts.

I stop him by hugging him "only hugs from now on alright?'

He nods "I can live with that."

I walk to my quarters and take out a piece of paper and pen. I took Buttercup out of the bag and place him on the ground. I take out the other items I had got. I put the pictures of Peeta and I and his family in a drawer. Then put the picture of him on the table by my bed. I hang up my father's coat and kick off his boots. I hung my bag on my bed. I take out the locket Peeta gave me. On the right there's Gale, in the middle there's Prim and my mother and on the left there's a picture of the final ultrasound we had of Chase when we found out we were having a boy. I study it. Before closing it and hanging it on my neck.

I sit down and start to write out my list for Coin. It takes a long time and lots of thinking but finally I put down my pen and read it over it looks alright. It said this.

The captured victors -Annie, Enobaria, Peeta, Chase and Johanna are to be saved at the next possible time and in the time of being saved are to be revealed for all treason against the rebels. Coin is to present this in front of the entire population of Thirteen holding her and her government responsible.

My sister gets to keep her cat

Gale and I hunting in the forest to help clear my mind

I get to kill snow

I read my list over happily just as my mother and Prim enter our quarters. My mother frowns at Buttercup while my sister runs and picks him up petting him and cooing over him.

"How'd he get here?" my mother asks.

"I went to Twelve today didn't you know?" I ask.

She shakes her head "no one tells me anything anymore Katniss."

I nod "well I got some of our old stuff. The family plant book, dads picture."

She nods and looks at the picture of Peeta.

"I found it at his house," I explain.

She gives me a hug "I know what it's like Katniss."

I pull away "no you don't no one does except Finnick!"

Just then as if on cue there's a knock on my door and Finnick pushed in "Coin wants you."

I nod and grab my list "you coming?"

"Do I want to?" he asks.

I shrug and hand him my list "you tell me."

He reads it "I don't know how much of this she'll do."

I nod "she'll do it all or she won't be having a mockingjay."

Finnick smiles "alright I'll come might be fun."

I smile back and lead the way to the lift. We stand in silence and then he leads the way to the room. The president nods to two sits across from her and we sit. She looks at Finnick.

"Hello Finnick," she says.

He grunts a greeting.

"So Katniss have you come up with the conditions?" she asks.

I nod "I have."

"Alright what is the first condition?" she asks.

"The captured victors -Annie, Enobaria, Peeta, Chase and Johanna are to be saved at the next possible time and in the time of being saved are to be revealed for all treason against the rebels," I say.

She shakes her head "no they will receive our way of dealing with this sort of things. They will review a trial and a fair court case."

I get to my feet and slam my fist on the desk "the tributes will receive a pardon! You will announce this to the full population of Thirteen hold yourself and your government accountable or you will find yourself another mockingjay!"

Plutarch smiles "that's it right there. That's the girl on fire. Madam this is worth the risk. This is the girl I promised you!"

Coin looks like she considering this "fine I will announce it today during freetime."

I nod.

"Anymore conditions?" she asks.

I nod "my sister's cat. I want her to keep it."

Coin nods "alright we will give you a penthouse quarter so it's better suited for a cat."

I nod "I want Gale and I to be able to hunt together. Alone."

Haymitch looks curious at this. Gale smiles.

"No I can't allow that," Coin says.

"We will take weapons and we will be back when you want us to be. We will give the food to the kitchen," I say.

She takes a moment before nodding "fine."

Gale smiles happily. I can't help grinning back.

"Anything else," she asks.

"Yeah one more. I get to kill Snow," I say.

She smiles "I thought you might want to. Very well."

I nod a thanks "then what do I film first?"

She smiles "we will start tomorrow first Beetee has a surprise for you guys."

I nod Beetee he has lost the use of his legs after getting struck by lightning. He sits in a wheelchair now. He wheels to the lift and Gale, Finnick and I follow. Finnick, Beetee and I discuss the rebellion. Gale is silent I think he feels out of place. I try to turn the subject to something that Finnick and Beetee could discuss with him.

"You know guys Gale's the one that taught me how to rig snares. He's like a magician," I say.

Finnick picks up on what he's saying "oh so if I really want to know what they are like I should ask him and not you!"

I huff "my snares caught prey for you to eat!"

"Yeah I don't owe you much you would have been dead the first three minutes if it weren't for me! Or at least Peeta would have," he says.

I sigh "what am I going to do with you?"

"Hook me up with the guy that actually knows about the snares," he says.

Gale starts to smile but doesn't join in.

I lightly hit him across the face "nope sorry you'll have to find someone else!"

Gale smiles and steps up "I can teach him Katniss."

"No you can't!" I say.

He shakes hands with Finnick "I'll convince her."

Finally the lift door opens and we walk out laughing.

"Nice acting you two," Gale says.

I smile "you have to be to survive the games."

"Yeah you should see Peeta in action," Finnick laughs "in fact you have."

Gale frowns at the mention of Peeta.

"So err...Beetee what's this surprise?" I ask.

Finnick frowns "sorry uh."

"It's alright you guys are all his friends and if I want to stay your friends then I have to stop being hurt by mention of him," says Gale.

I turn to him "you know it'd help if you stopped comparing yourself to him or you gave yourself more credit."

Finnick rolls his eyes "come on you two look at what Beetee made."

Beetee was beside a table of weapons "Plutarch wanted something for the propaganda but I couldn't waste weapons on just looks."

I look at the bow he hands me. I feel it vibrate.

"It's beautiful," I say.

He points to three differently coloured arrows "black in normal, yellow is fire and red is explosive."

I nod taking a fire. I walk to the targets and twirl it in my hand before I load the bow. I pull it to be cheek and took aim. I could feel the others watching me. I let the arrow fly it hits the target and only takes a second before bursting into flames. Gale smiled.

"Step back I want to try my cross bow," he says.

I take a step back and watch him shoot. This was one thing Gale did much better than Peeta. Peeta who could kill someone in hand to face combat couldn't hit the target five yards away. I smile.

"Peeta couldn't do that," I say.

Finnick laughs "Gale move I want to try my trident!"

Gale moves out of the way.

"Watch this is truly amazing," I tell him.

Finnick can hit a target with his trident fifty yards away. He takes aim and throw the trident to the target it sticks and he goes to gather our ammo.

Gale smiles "that is impressive."

Finnick smiles "everyone in District four can do it."

"Yeah throw a trident but not that good," says Gale "it's like in Twelve we all could mine coal with a pickaxe but only a handful can throw them to kill a person."

I smile "come on they probably want us back up there."

Gale nods "yeah come on."

We get back in the lift this rides much more enjoyable. Beetee explains some of the cool things about our weapons while Finnick and Gale are able to talk openly to each other. I lean on the wall watching them. Thinking about Peeta. I have seen him do everything from hold my son to die. His heart had stopped in the arena but thanks to Finnick Peeta was still around.

Finnick looks at me "what are you thinking?"

"Peeta," I say.

He nods "it's all I can think of as well."

Gale looks at him "why?"

"Finnick has a thing for Annie," I explain.

Finnick sighs "not just a thing."

I sigh back "I get it."

Gale looks from the two of us "so what about Peeta where you thinking about?"

"How I've seen him do everything from bake a loaf of bread to die," I say.

Finnick gives a laugh.

I can't help it I start laughing too. The lift door opens and we step out. Finnick nods to me.

"See you at the announcement," he says.

I put my hand on his shoulder "there going to be with us before you know it."

He nods "but at what cost?"

I sigh "rather not think about it."

He sighs "we aren't all making it through this."

"Yeah especially if what Haymitch says about us still being in the games is right," I say.

He hugs me "we'll get through this one way or another."

I sigh "yeah thanks Finnick."

He lets me go and nods before walking off. Haymitch taps my shoulder.

"What'd you think of the weapons?" he asks.

I nod "it's beautiful."

"Come on dinner and I have another surprise," he says.

I nod.