It's gonna hurt bad

Before it gets better

Their son was born in the summer, at an ungodly hour of the morning, after over a full day of screaming pain.

Eliza had sworn up and down that she would never again give birth to one of Alex's "melon-headed spawn" and managed to break his pinkie finger.

(He ventured a groan of pain and a pitiful "it hurts" but off one look from Eliza and the nurses, decided it wise to shut up.)

The moment her son was placed in her arms, however, Eliza had forgotten about every single moment of pain she had to endure to get here.

He was perfect, beautiful and pink and soft.

He was handed to Alex, who alternated arms to hold him in amongst frantically swiping at the tears on his cheeks.

She files the moment away in her memory forever.

(~~)

They had been debating since they reconciled at what to call the child. Alex had quickly found out that thanks to an extra dose of hormones, Eliza was quite easy to annoy, and despite her repeated warnings that men should really not anger their pregnant wives, he took great joy in thinking up the most ridiculous names to call the baby.

Which is how the baby becomes Cletus for the last four months of Eliza's pregnancy.

Eliza really wasn't sure what she hated more, the hideous name or the fact that it caught on with just about everyone.

Herc and Laf would smother her with affection she hadn't known them capable of whenever she saw them, cooing to her belly, promising to buy Cletus beer as soon as they turned fifteen (sixteen, Laf had amended off her look. Okay, sixteen. Seventeen? Ballpark me a number that won't end in the headline reading Pregnant Woman Slays Handsome Innocent here, Eliza).

She receives monogramed bibs and onesies with elegant type reading "Cletus Hamilton" on them. She doesn't even ask who they came from. The boys will waft their beers under her nose and smother giggles when getting out of her chair gets difficult. Eliza warns them as well that their murder would likely fall under justifiable homicide and juries love pregnant women.

But then there are other moments, moments where Eliza will find herself bemoaning how small this baby's family will be ("Father, mother, a grandfather that will be in jail all it's life and two aunts"), where they look at her with such gentle affection and tell her that she better add three uncles to that list and if she thinks this kid is growing up without them, she's crazy.

(She cries and blames it on hormones.)

And Alex…Alex is so completely devoted to their yet unnamed baby of unknown gender. She catches him setting up the crib, a task he repeatedly refuses help with, forehead slick with sweat, repeating the same words over and over. She leans into the doorframe, tucking herself out of sight, to listen in.

"I'm not gonna be like my parents. I'm gonna be better. I'll make it right for them."

(Another flood of tears, and he catches her. She brushes the sweaty hair out of his face and he swipes at the tears coating her cheeks, cheeks flaming.)

(~~)

Two days after their son's birth and a touch of jaundice keeping them in the hospital later, they are still calling him "the baby."

They lie in Eliza' hospital bed, their tiny son between them.

(A boy, Eliza remembers Alex saying as he saw the child for the first time. My son.)

Alex gently brushed her hair back from her face and smiled softly at the swaddled baby in her arms.

"What's his name, my charmer?"

She knows. She's known for a long time. It's never felt like right time to tell him, but in this moment, she thinks nothing could feel wrong.

She takes a hand off their swaddled son and laces it with his.

"James. James Alexander."

(He cries this time. She does too. They cry together.)

Herc, Laf and Laurens visit, and Eliza's entire being lights up when Laurens grabs her hand with a soft smile.

"John," she breathes. He lifts a hand and strokes her cheek affectionately.

"You did good, Eliza. I'm happy for you."

It's that he means it that makes a wave of tears start anew.

(They're awfully frequent recently. To be fair, in the last 24 hours Eliza has also burst into tears upon learning there was no more chocolate pudding.)

(~~)

James Alexander Hamilton is their miracle, their proudest achievement.

And Eliza never believed much in fate, in two people being destined, but maybe they are. Maybe right from my dad spent all my money, I'm broke and I'm about to be kicked out, but if I got married, I would be eligible for bursaries and get to move into married housing it was always supposed to be like this.

It's not perfect, it'll never be perfect, but that's okay, because it's them. They'll hurt each other, but they'll fix each each other too.

And maybe Alex was right (though it pains her to admit it to this day). These things don't just happen for no reason.

So Eliza sits on her bed, holding her family, settling into her forever.

Slumber my darling

I'll wrap you up warm

Pray that the angels

Will shield you from harm

A/N: FLUFFITY FLUFF FLUFF. THE FLUFF. THE FLUFF FOR HAMLIZA THE FLUFF CHOSEN TO FIX HAMLIZA HAMLIZA'S FLUFF.

Also, I am aware that James was not their first child but it kinda fit better with the story.

Thank you all so, SO much for reading, and all of your sweet comments. You've made writing this story a pleasure.

See you next time!