WARM HEART

I

OOOOO

"...thank you...did...Joseph."

There was something keeping his eyes from opening. Joe wasn't sure what it was, but he thought it might be about a ton of sand. He fought it for a few seconds before he became aware of the fact that the sound of voices had woke him up. They were so low he could barely hear them.

Then again, maybe they weren't low and some of that sand was in his ears too.

"...horrible...what we could...sorry..."

Sorry. He was sorry. Wasn't he? But why?

Maybe he was sorry that he couldn't open his eyes. No. That wasn't it. It was a bigger sorry than that. It was a sorry so big it had taken that beast that was in him and put it in chains and left it alone in a dark room with nothing but water until it grew so weak it couldn't lift its head any more to roar.

He kinda needed it to roar.

"...brothers and I...worried...God...safe..."

He was safe, wasn't he? But if he was safe now, that meant he hadn't been before. What had happened before? Before when the beast had been raging, when he'd slapped his...

And it all came back in one fell, devastating whoosh of memory. Getting so mad at his brothers over nothing. Fighting with – hitting his Pa. Feeling so ashamed he ran for the door and took off like a house on fire not knowing where he was going or how he was gonna get there.

Like a house on fire...

The flames were everywhere, licking at the dry wood walls and the dusty abandoned furniture, crawling up the blue and white check curtains, running along the floor boards toward him. He woke up to those leaping darting flames and to two facts: his hands and feet were bound and there was a gag between his teeth keeping him from shoutin out, and he was gonna die.

He was gonna die.

The Gertner boys had hit him so hard that for a while he couldn't remember who he was. That was the worst thing of all. As he lay there in that burning cabin knowing he was gonna die, he knew it would be alone. Whoever was gonna miss him would never know what happened, and he would never know that they missed him.

The tears had turned to steam on his face.

Then he'd heard shouting. It sounded like a man and woman. A minute later the door had burst in and a man with his head all wrapped in wet cloth had come straight for him, taking hold of him and lifting him up and carrying him out of the house just as the ceiling caved in behind them. He remembered being laid on the blessedly cool ground and the touch of a woman's hand on his face. And a voice, must have been the woman's, saying softly, "Everything will be all right. You're okay now. Everything's gonna be fine, little brother."

Joe blinked. Some of the sand must have slipped away because this time he was able to open his eyes. Someone was bending over him. A woman, talking soft and low and pressing a cool cloth to his forehead.

"Everything's gonna be fine, little brother," she repeated again. "You'll see. You'll be all better soon."

With the beast tamed there wasn't much fueling him, but he managed a smile. "Hey, little sister."

Elizabeth Carnaby's smile was brighter than the late afternoon sun shining in the window. She reached out and timidly touched his cheek.

"You ain't so hot now. That medicine the Doc gave you must be working."

He had a vague memory of the doctor. Older. Gray-haired. Wearing a black suit and looking grim as an undertaker.

Somewhere there had to be mold.

"I'd..." He swallowed. Apparently the fire wasn't gone 'cause there was smoke in his throat. "Can I...have...some water?"

She turned to a stand by the bed, so the glass must have already been there. Then, cradling his head like she might a rag doll, she lifted him up and gave him some water.

"Where'd you...learn to...do that?" he asked.

"I took care of Ma when she was awful sick one time," the little girl answered, looking serious. "But she weren't as sick as you. The Doc said you coulda died."

"Elizabeth!"

He watched the girl wince and then her head craned back. "Sorry, Ma."

This time it was a woman's hand that landed on his forehead. "Ah," she sighed, obviously relieved. "You are better." She was a pretty lady, clean and smelling of soap, with her brown hair pulled up into a tight knot at the back of her neck. "There's someone here who will be right happy to hear that." She turned then and moved toward the door. Leaning on the jamb, she called out, "Ben, you can come in. You and your boys. Joe's awake."

II

Someone had told her once that grown men didn't cry.

Well, she knew enough now to call them liars 'cause there was a whole lot of tears in that room when little brother saw his other brothers and his pa.

Seems like she and Joseph was more alike than she knew. There were times when this old beast reared up in her too and made her say and sometimes do things she felt sorry for later. It was kind of like things got so hot under her seat that she just couldn't sit still. Most of the time it got her in trouble, but then there were the times when she didn't really think it was a beast after all. It was more like a determined little pup that wouldn't stop barking until she did what it wanted – like walking up to that cabin and looking in and finding Joe.

He liked to be called 'Joe', Adam told her. Only their pa called him Joseph. "But," Adam said, leaning in close to her ear and whispering so it tickled, "You can call him Little Joe."

It was nice having two older brothers. She got awful tired of being the oldest one all of the time.

And Mister Ben, he reminded her of the grandpa they'd left all the way back east. He'd looked right scared the first time she saw him. She'd been sitting at the table eating a piece of bread with violet jam when someone had knocked at the door. When her ma opened it she'd almost yelped. There was a real big man standing just outside with his hat in his hands and he was covered from the very top of him to his toes in soot. Behind him there was another man – he was dressed in black – and his hands and face were black too. And then, behind them, there was a man with white hair. He was sitting on his horse and looking back toward the Clayborn cabin, his shoulders all slumped like he was all tuckered out and needed to go to bed.

Ma'd stepped outside and closed the door partway behind her. Heading that little yappy dog, she'd gotten up and gone over to the crack to listen.

"We're looking for my little brother, Ma'am. We was hopin' maybe you'd seen somethin' of him?" The big man paused and lowered his voice. "Our pa wanted us to ask, Ma'am, even though it ain't likely." He made a sound then, like tears caught in his throat. "You see, well, my brother Adam and me... It looks like Joe might have been in that there cabin 'bout a half-mile away from here. The one that burned..."

Joe!

Her ma got all excited and went out to talk to the man on the horse. Elizabeth watched him stiffen in his saddle and then his slumping shoulders straightened up, and then he was off that buckskin horse and running for the house fast as one of those pony express riders her pa had read to her about. She'd followed behind them and watched from the doorway as Little Joe's Pa sat down beside him and took Joe's face in his hands and cried.

Her Pa came to the door to watch with her. He had Jack in his arms. He knelt beside her and pulled her in close.

And then he cried too.

Her mother shooed her out of the house early the next morning. The Doc had come again and he was taking care of Little Joe. Joe's pa was with him but his big brothers were out in the field helping her Pa. Since he and Ma'd been taking care of Little Joe there was an awful lot of things that hadn't got done and Adam and Hoss told her pa they wouldn't take 'no' for an answer when they offered to help him catch everything up.

She liked Adam and Hoss.

Ma had Jack with her, tied by the apron strings. She'd told her she'd been such a good girl and taken such good care of Joe that she could have the day to do whatever she wanted. At first that had seemed like a right good thing. Ma'd packed a picnic basket for her and let her walk the mile and a half to Josie's house to visit, telling her to be back by sundown. While she was at Josie's she had dinner with them and at the table her pa said he'd been to town and heard that the three men who'd kidnapped the son of the man who owned the Ponderosa had been caught by the sheriff of Virginia City name of Roy Coffee and were in jail awaiting trial. Any kind of legal action, he said, had to wait until the star witness could give testimony.

The 'star' witness. That was Little Joe.

Elizabeth lifted her head and looked up. There were stars twinkling in the sky. She'd come home before dark but had begged her mother to let her sit outside for a while. She'd been surprised when she agreed, but then again there were seven people in the house – eight if you counted the Doc, and you might as well since he'd been coming a couple times a day – and it was mighty crowded. Joe's brothers were sleeping on the floor by the hearth. His Pa had taken her mat on the floor.

Scooting her behind around on the rock, she turned so she could look into the water. The moon was about quarter full now and her posy wouldn't do any good anymore. Josie'd told her she didn't think one day would have made any difference.

Resting her elbows on her knees and anchoring her chin on her hands, Elizabeth sighed. It ended up Little Joe wasn't gonna be her true love and take her to his big ranch to get away from becoming a lady, or even her little brother anymore.

Tomorrow, he was going home.

A soft sound beside her made her turn and look up. Puzzled, she frowned.

It was Little Joe's pa.

"May I?" he asked, indicating the part of the rock she wasn't sitting on.

She shrugged.

As he took a seat, he looked up too. Indicating the sky and the stars, he said, "Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Sure is," she agreed.

"You like to sit out here, don't you? All by yourself."

Elizabeth screwed her face up. "Ma says I'm con...con-tum-pla-ive."

The man with the white hair laughed. "My older boy, Adam, is like that. He looks and he thinks, but he doesn't say much."

She liked Adam. She liked that funny little smile he had. It made her laugh.

"Is...is Little Joe..."

"Contemplative?" Little Joe's pa let out a sigh. "Sometimes. Though with Joe, it's more that something gets hold of him and he thinks he has to work it out himself."

"Like there's a little snarly dog inside him that takes hold and just won't let go?" she asked, her voice hushed.

He looked startled. Then Joe's pa laughed. "Yes," he said as he held her gaze. "Do you have a little snarly dog inside you too, Elizabeth?"

Her Ma'd taught her not to lie. "Sometimes," she admitted.

"Can you keep a secret?" the white-haired man asked, lowering his voice and leaning in.

She nodded.

"You just keep feeding that little dog," he said, patting her knee. "That little dog kept my son alive." He paused and then said, all solemn-like. "That's why I came out here. To thank you for saving Joseph's life."

It was a good thing it was dark 'cause she blushed all the way up to the top of her ears. "Ma and Pa saved him."

"They told me they pulled Joe out of the burning cabin, but they also told me that you were the one who found him and sat with him day and night and gave him water and cooled his face with a cloth and..." His voice cracked, just like Josie's older brother's had when he turned fifteen. "...and talked to him, telling him everything would be all right."

She'd been afraid to ask, what with the Doc coming out so much. "He's gonna be, isn't he? All right, I mean?"

Joe's pa sniffed in some of those tears. "Yes. It will take time for him to heal, but he'll be fine." He patted her leg. "Thanks to you."

"You're...you're gonna take him away tomorrow." It was her turn to sniff. "Ain't you?"

He touched her hair. "I'm going to take Joseph home." Joe's pa paused. "If you were sick, wouldn't you want to be home in your own bed with your family around you?"

She looked down at her hands. "I s'pose so."

"I talked to your mother, Elizabeth, and she said it was all right. When the harvest is over, would you like to come to the Ponderosa for a visit?"

Her eyes went wide as a full moon. "To your ranch?"

He nodded. "Joe's seen where you grew up. That way you can see where he did."

"I ain't growed up yet," she protested.

Ben Cartwright bent down and kissed her on the forehead.

"Oh, I think you are."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

The next morning the Doc came again and he took care of getting Little Joe out of the house and into the wagon that was gonna take him home. Little Joe's big big brother went right into the room and picked him up just like she did Jack, and just like Jack, Hoss' little brother squirmed and fought and told him the whole time that he should put him down and that he could walk on his own. Little Joe's older big brother stared him down just like Ma did with Jack and Joe got real quiet and stopped fussing. Her ma and pa were standing to the side talking to Little Joe's pa. He'd offered to send men to help them with the harvest, 'to repay you for your kindness to my son,' he said. Ma was so got she was crying.

There'd been enough tears shed in the last few days in their house to float a boat.

And she was adding more to the river.

Joe's older big brother came to her side and knelt by her. Adam reached out with his thumbs and dried her tears. "It's not goodbye, Elizabeth, just fare well for now. We'll see you in a month or so and Joe will be strong enough by then that he can take you out riding and show you the Ponderosa. You'll like that." He stood then and smiled down at her. "I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot of each other in the future."

Adam climbed up then into the wagon seat and took hold of the reins. Hoss was on his own horse and their pa was sitting in the wagon bed by Little Joe. They'd found Joe's horse while they were looking for him and the pretty black and white pony was tied to the back of the wagon. Her new little brother was so worn out from everything that he was sleeping again. The Doc said that was good. It would be good if he slept all the way home.

She'd said goodbye earlier in the house before Hoss came in and picked Joe up. Cause of what happened she knew Adam was right. She was gonna see them a lot. She'd finally told Little Joe about the creek and the rock and the fingernail moon and the yellow posy under her chin.

He'd nodded his head and grinned.

And promised to wait.