That spitfire of a kid was Allen. Those bruises were Allen's. Those thin arms and shoulders, the hurt glare, the mangy clothes, they were all Allen's.

Allen Walker was standing in front of him as a child, a relative jackpot for the Bookman's apprentice, and all he could do was stare. If the old panda could see him now, he'd be disappointed.

Allen was just another name to go in history books, something to be prodded for easy information.

He wasn't supposed to care.

He wasn't supposed to be fighting off the urge to torch this hellhole of a circus himself, and dance on the ashes left behind.

A tick dragged at the corner of his lips, threatening to pull them into a fullblown snarl as the clown snatched Allen up by the collar.

"Watch where ya goin' ya freak!"

Alle–no, Red–returned the clown's hatred and then some. "Ya ran into me, or are ya bloody blind as well as dumb as a bag of bricks, Cosmos!?"

"Hahh!?" He growled. His face was hidden beneath the layers of makeup, but there was no hiding the malicious twinkle in his dark eyes.

Lavi didn't even realize he'd moved until he was stepping in between the two, roughly smacking Cosmos's hand from Al–Red's–collar.

The clown reared back, arm arching behind his head.

Lavi had already planned which way to dodge and was mapping out the most painful place to smash his fist when Cosmos's gaze flickered over.

He froze mid-swing, neck craning to get a better view of Kanda.

If looks could kill, Cosmos would've been stabbed several times, crushed beneath a carriage, then tossed off a cliff by now.

Lavi could count on a single hand how many times he'd seen Kanda this pissed.

Normally, it took a loud mouth Akuma or Komui's killer robots to rile him up this bad. Even if they were on the same side, he couldn't stop himself from swallowing, and inching away.

Lenalee made no attempt to stop things, this time, arms tucked tightly over her chest, and despite her teary eyes, she looked like she could strangle Cosmos to death and enjoy it.

Cosmos, wisely sensing his life was in danger, stumbled away. "Y-You again!?"

Two steps further, still facing them. Five, his teeth were bared in a frustrated hiss. Eight, and he was bolting behind the cover a larger tent provided, off to wherever.

The source of his anger gone, he turned to Red with a deep frown. He'd stuffed his deformed hand into his pocket already, refusing to meet Lavi's eye.

The arm must be a sensitive topic.

Lenalee edged closer, mouth pursed, as though she wanted to say something.

He shook his head at her, then offered to help Red stand, careful to keep his expression friendly.

"C'mon, you were gonna show us where to go, right?"

"..Yeah." He pushed himself to his feet, ignoring Lavi's outstretched hand. "This way."

Kanda stormed off in the opposite direction, fingers finally uncurling from Mugen's hilt.

"Ah, hey, Yuu!"

No response.

He blinked. Kanda looked more pissed than surprised; like a long time suspicion had been confirmed. Guess that explained why he'd started acting weird after meeting Red, and even called him by Allen's nickname–'beansprout.'

He didn't beat himself up too much for not noticing when Kanda did, after all, Kanda practically had an Allen radar installed in his brain. He could find him anywhere. And Lavi meant, anywhere.

Red stared after him, initial confusion melting into a cold hatred no kid should be capable of manifesting. He whipped around roughly, stomping off the way he'd come.

Lenalee chewed her lip, maybe in an attempt to keep silent, while Lavi tried to ignore the pit settling in his stomach.

Red thought Kanda's behavior stemmed from seeing his deformed arm. He thought Kanda was disgusted with him like everyone else. He thought Lenalee and Lavi were the same.

There goes the little bit of trust they'd established with him. Funny how easy it was for three days worth of effort to crumble to dust.

When they settled in to wash the laundry, he left to polish the props. They were quiet for several minutes, before Lenalee sniffled, and lowered the shirt she'd been scrubbing clean. "I had no idea."

He sucked in a small breath. "..None of us did."

"Allen's always so..." She pursed her lips, scanning the clouds as though they held the words she couldn't find. "Polite, and happy, I'd just assumed his life was easier than ours."

Lavi wasn't sure how to respond, so he let them lapse into silence. He barely focused on his task, mind reliving every interaction with Allen this past year, searching for gestures, words, body language–anything that would've hinted this. He got nothing but tears over Cross's debt, and his terrifying knack for cheating. Allen was a better actor than Lavi had given him credit for. He really had them fooled.

What else was he hiding behind that soft smile?

When they'd finished, the sun was setting, and cheers could be heard from inside the largest tent.

"Not gonna perform this time?"

"No." A pause. "I want to find Allen."

"You mean Red?" He corrected her gently.

"Y-Yeah."

He stood, helping her up as well, and they combed the circus for signs of their friend. Red was, of course, working when they caught up. Carrying crates that were far too large and heavy for him; especially with one arm. He didn't utter a complaint, though, nor did he ask for help, and Lavi knew he wouldn't either.

He was about to march over and snatch the crate from Red, when, someone else beat him to it.

"Hey! What're ya doin'!?" Red fumed after Kanda, who paid him no mind.

He set the crate with the rest, then walked past Red, picking up another.

Lavi raised an eyebrow at Lenalee, who giggled, then joined.

Kanda was such a softie.

Then again, guess they all were.

Red didn't have to lift a crate with the three of them helping, but that didn't stop him. Lavi was glad Lenalee had suggested they find him–stubborn kid would've been doing this all night otherwise.

"Red!"

He jumped at the sound of his name. The Ringmaster was beckoning to him from outside the tent. Red went to him, his feet dragging in clear reluctance.

Lavi had a bad feeling about this, one that didn't lessen when Red cast him a slight frown over his shoulder.

As they faded from sight, he went to follow but stopped abruptly when Lenalee yelped.

Whipping around, he discovered she was... glowing? He rubbed his eye, convinced he was seeing things. As his hand floated to his side, it also lit up.

Kanda was glowing as well, grandfather clocks snaking across his skin.

The light grew and grew until it had enveloped the entire tent.

It got to the point it was too painful to keep his eye open, and he squeezed it shut. Pulse thrumming in his ears, hands gripping the sides of his head, he didn't have any idea what had happened until someone grabbed his shoulder.

"Lavi!"

The ringing in his ears he hadn't realized was there stopped.

Still hesitant, he peeled his eye open, finding himself locked with a pair of silver ones.

"Ah, thank goodness!" A smile broke across the guy's pale face, and he whipped his head around, peering over Lavi's shoulder. "Are you guys alright!?"

"..Allen?"

He blinked, and turned back to Lavi. "Yes?"

"All..en!" He shamelessly tackled his best friend in a hug.

He could feel Allen stiffen in his grip, but he didn't care.

After what felt like decades, Allen awkwardly patted his shoulder blades. "Ah, hey, Lavi.. Everything...?"

"Allen!" Lenalee gasped from behind him.

Lavi took the opportunity to relinquish his death grip and sat down.

Lenalee crawled over to them, tears brimming in her round eyes. "I'm so sorry!"

Allen blinked owlishly, "Huh? Why?"

Kanda clucked his tongue behind them, already on his feet with a nasty glare aimed at Allen. "Beansprout."

His confusion hardened into a glare of equal measure. At least, that aspect of his personality hadn't changed. "Bakanda."

Lavi could practically hear the electricity popping between them. Then, Kanda gave a brief grunt and padded off.

Allen frowned after him, then to Lavi, who smiled tiredly in return.

"Guess we got a lot of explaining to do, huh?"

Allen told his side of the story first. He'd been about to join them when Miranda's innocence spiraled out of control. He'd tried to pull them out, but by the time he'd reached the cocoon, they'd already vanished without a trace, and Miranda had gone comatose. He spent this past week floating between the science division and Miranda's room in the infirmary. Komui was still working on the serum, so it'd had come as a shock when he'd found them sprawled out in the hallway. Same place they'd vanished from too.

"So, there was a time gap after all.." Lavi mumbled thoughtfully. He made a mental note to jot that down later.

Allen raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean by that, Lavi? If you don't mind my asking, where were you guys?"

Lavi exchanged a worried look with Lenalee.

"Don't you.." She hesitated. "Remember?"

If he weren't confused enough as it was, now they'd lost him entirely.

"Remember... what?"

"Well.. ya see..."

Lavi filled him in on their time in the past–his past. Lenalee added in details here and there, and corrected Lavi when he was embellishing; wherein Allen's mask would crack enough to allow a soft chuckle. Lavi had to give him props, his poker face remained unperturbed besides that, even as they reached the subject of Cosmos.

When he'd felt Allen had the gist of it, he leaned back and studied him.

"Well.." Allen began, eyebrows knitted together. "There was that one time..."

When he noticed they were staring, he offered a tiny smile.

"Well, you see, there was this one time I got in a lot of trouble. I don't remember the details, but Cosmos was pretty pissed. Accused me of hiring people to hurt him. He and the Ringmaster beat me so badly I lost my memories of the past month–still don't have them back."

Lavi's blood went cold.

He remembered the last time he'd seen Red, the worried frown he'd worn as he'd followed the Ringmaster away.

Was that when–?

"That's horrible." Lenalee croaked.

Allen flinched, clearly startled. "Ah, n-not really! Please, don't worry about it, it's no big deal!"

"'No big deal?'" Lavi repeated, a growl creeping into his tone. How fucking dare they. He wanted to find those damn clowns and throttle them.

Allen's eyes went round, settling on his lap. A pause and the surprise faded to sadness. "It doesn't matter anymore. The circus is gone, destroyed by the Earl."

He nearly choked. "The Millennium Earl!?"

Allen nodded, and Lenalee's mouth fell open. "W-What happened!?"

He turned his head away, bangs shadowing over his eyes. Several heartbeats passed before he met their gazes again, and he did so with a smile. "No clue. Some of the performers survived–Mana and the Ringmaster included. Cosmos had been with the two at the time so he may be alive, but I prefer not to think about that."

Lavi nodded, slowly, and started poking his soup with his spoon. Jerry's corn chowder was, as he expected, much better than that diner's.

Then a thought hit him, and he gave Allen his best shit-eating grin. "Oh! I almost forgot you stole Yuu's wallet!"

Allen brightened instantly. "I did?"

"Yeah!" He crowed, elbowing him in the ribs. "You should've seen the look on his face!"

The tension melted as the three dissolved into fits of laughter.

Kanda, who was eating Soba at a table nearby, cast a resentful glare over his shoulder.

Lavi wrapped his arm around Allen's neck, pulling him close enough to whisper in his ear. "Think you can do it again?"

Allen's amusement morphed, becoming more similar to black Allen. "Of course."

Lenalee shook her head, a sigh escaping. "You two..."

Oh, how wrong he'd been when he inferred the wallet jokes would end after a mere week or two. He could barely choke down a snicker when Allen winked and padded after Kanda, who was dumping his tray. They were never letting this go!

Speaking of which, if he ever saw Cosmos again, he'd make sure to pummel the disgusting excuse for a clown. Same goes for the Ringmaster.

Maybe he could've prevented what happened to Doug, but there was nothing he could do now. But, he'd make damn he doesn't repeat his mistake.

He was never going through that again.

"Oh! Miranda's probably awake now!" Lenalee gasped. She scooped up her tray and hurried for the trash. "We should check on her before we report to my brother."

Lavi nodded, scraping up the last of his soup, and hurrying after her. "Let's not mention the Allen thing."

She blinked, then glanced at Kanda. "I don't mind. You should tell Kanda to do the same."

Lavi followed her gaze, finding a very aggravated Kanda patting his pockets.

Allen was long gone.

"Maybe later."

They managed to keep their cool until they'd made it into the hallway, then they busted out laughing again. Lenalee rubbed her teary eyes and nodded in the direction of the infirmary. Miranda had just woken up when they stopped by, so the head nurse wouldn't let them stay long.

They told Komui about their time with Red, but never specified who he was, and made sure Kanda knew to do the same when his debriefing came. Lavi figured if Allen wanted everyone to know what his childhood was like, he would've said something already. Lavi knew he wouldn't want his past circulating through the Order. Stuff like that was personal.

That's why it shouldn't come as a shock when he "forgot" to mention Red altogether while recording his experiences.

Setting his pen on his desk, he leaned back in his chair.

Maybe he and 'Lavi' weren't that different after all.

A/N: All right, that's the end! Thank you for reading!