I own no nervous half-ghosts.

I stare at my hand, willing myself to just grab the handle. I don't really want to be here, but I can't back out now - a bet is a bet. If I die for real, though, I'm totally going to haunt Tucker. Taking a deep breath, I push open the door to the Nasty Burger.

Valerie's manning the counter, because that's what my luck is like these days. I try not to flinch as her eyes snap to me. Thankfully, she seems to dismiss me as just another weirdo. I push my sunglasses farther up my nose, trying to keep my eyes hidden.

That's right. I'm here in ghost form.

It was Tucker's idea to put Phantom in civies; I'm just the sucker who took the bet. Sam will kill us both when she hears about it. Not if - when. Because that's my luck.

I can't stop myself from fidgeting as I wait in line. My only comfort is that Valerie looks just as nervous. Must be trying to spot the ghost. The line moves; hi, Val. Don't mind me, I'm just here for a burger. And possibly death. No really, don't mind me. I'm not even here.

I escape the counter and barricade myself in a corner booth where I can watch Valerie and still keep my back to the wall. I'm freaking out on the inside, but I don't let it show too much. No one's going to notice if I eat a little faster than normal.

Valerie's still looking for me, twitching all over the place. Eventually, she's gonna drop something. I do my best not to stiffen every time I feel her eyes on me. No spooks over here, I'm just a kid in the corner. This is not the ghost you're looking for. As the seconds tick past, agonizingly slow, I'm suddenly glad that my heart doesn't beat when I'm like this. I'd probably have gone into cardiac arrest ten minutes ago.

. . . Crap. I'm out of soda. The logical part of me says it's not worth getting more, but the other part is enjoying Valerie's frustration and wants a closer look. She has shot at me at least six times this week. I think it over for a while, but let it never be said that Danny Phantom backed down from a challenge. I stand up and head for the counter.

"Um, hey, can I get a refill?"

She jumps, I jump, we both try to pass it off as a stumble. She's scowling at me, and for a second I think I'm busted, but all she does is tell me to take the lid off. She still doesn't look happy. To be honest, neither am I. Forget waiting for Sam to do it, I'm going to kill Tucker myself.

I'm in the process of handing her my cup when a slab of half-cooked meat nearly beans me in the face. My ghost sense kicks in a second later. Great. Just what I need.

I can tell that Valerie's about to run off and come back on a hoverboard. I almost let her, but then I get this stupid, awesome idea, and I can't stop the smirk from taking over my face. I grab her wrist. "Don't bother, Val." She turns back to me, and I let my eyes flare. "I got this."

I step back quickly; her expression right now is priceless. I almost wish Tuck was recording this, just for that face. I'd like to keep it forever, maybe stick it in Sam's scrapbook for posterity. Oh well. Back to business.

I walk right up to the Lunch Lady and whip off my sunglasses. People start talking, but I just flash a smile and tune them out. I've got a ghost to catch. Preferably, before Valerie stops being shocked and does what I told her not to.

. . . Aaand there she goes. Great. Maybe I'll get lucky for once and there'll be someone using the break room. Can't think about that now, though - gotta fight. I power up an ectoblast.

It's a typical ghost fight, except I'm fighting in jeans and it's weird. Thankfully, it's also a short fight. People cheer as I cap the thermos. I smile again; it feels nice to be appreciated for once. Outside the window, I can just see Valerie speeding toward me. I wave at everyone and shoot through the roof right as she makes the door.

Sometimes I love my job.

I feel like I'm being kind of mean to Val in this story . . . then again, at least her dad doesn't shoot at her. Danny puts up with a lot of crap.