Summary: Edward finds a way to respectfully salute Colonel Mustang while still being a royal brat about it. ***Inspired by fanart. Credit goes wherever credit is earned.***

"Your report, Colonel Idiot, Sir," Edward said flatly after slamming a slightly crumpled piece of paper onto the surface of Roy's desk. Edward then raised his left hand to his temple in a firm, solid salute, shoulders stiff and countenance stoic.

"Fullmetal!" Roy snapped furiously, moving Edward's report to the side to read (and criticize) later. "Don't you know how rude it is to salute your superior officer with your left hand?"

Edward, maintaining a deadpan expression that served to infuriate Roy even more than when he blew up in rage, said, "Terribly sorry, Colonel Sarcasm," and Roy could hear the mockery ebbed deep in every word, even though Edward's voice remained flat and emotionless.

And then, without breaking eye contact (the little twit), Edward pulled a series of levers and gears on his false shoulder, detached his automail arm, and held that to his left temple in salute.

Roy glared at him. Edward stared unremittingly back, but this time, Roy saw a small spark of wild, feral glee in Edward's eyes. It's like he lives to mock me, Roy mused.

"How's this, Colonel Jerk?" Edward questioned, and yes, there definitely was shrouded cockiness in his voice, and it didn't go unnoticed. But technically, Edward wasn't breaking the "salute-with-your-right-hand" standard, even though he had literally detached his right arm and was holding it to the left temple.

Roy sighed, spun around in his chair, and pinched the bridge of his nose with a weary sigh.

"...It'll do, Fullmetal."