It turned out that Gazelle's tour bus was passing through Bunnyburrow on her way back from a tour, as Bogo and Clawhauser learned when Gazelle and her dancers allowed them to descend through the sun roof into the lounge and bar area of the bus. They would have to drive for a further three miles to make a legal turn to get back to the amusement park, so the star struck police officers used the time to explain to Gazelle and her backup dancers the recent events that led to them putting a double-ass-sized dent on her roof. As they sat with Gazelle on the sleek black couches that lined the walls, they left out the more sensitive information concerning the Zootopia Freedom Party, Irons' betrayal and the red diamonds, instead giving the general story of a police pursuit ending in the near-destruction of the old amusement park.

Gazelle uttered some Spanish, astonished by Clawhauser's telling of Nick and Judy's escape from the swing ride. "And what happened to you two?"

"The ferris wheel fell down and made us fall off the haunted mansion." Bogo spoke dazedly. He still couldn't believe that he was speaking to Gazelle, and that he and his young officer had landed on her tour bus of all vehicles. Clawhauser himself was ready to pass out.

Gazelle put a slender hoof to her mouth. "Oh my gosh! That must have been terrifying!"

"It was. It really, really was." Clawhauser squeaked. "I'm so sorry, but I have to say that I am your biggest fan and you have no idea how amazed I am to finally meet you!" In your beautiful custom tour bus as well, he added mentally.

Gazelle laughed. "I figured that out when you fainted on the roof." Clawhauser blushed. "It's good to meet you too, Officer Clawhauser."

"I apologize for your roof, ma'am." Bogo for his part did his best to remain professional.

"Oh, it's nothing my insurance can't cover. Besides, it's better that you fell on my bus instead of the tarmac."

"I'd ask for your autograph, but I think we've bothered you enough." Clawhauser said sheepishly, tapping his forefingers together. "Is it much farther to the amusement park?"

"Another fifteen minutes." Yelled Alexander, the tiger currently driving the bus. "Maybe more if this traffic doesn't let up."

Bogo and Clawhauser looked out the window behind the couch. There was indeed a severe traffic jam surrounding the bus, which had come to a complete stop. Bogo let out a small groan. "Must be because of the incident at the park. We could be here a while. Is there somewhere private so I can make a call?"

"You can use the bathroom at the back." Gazelle said.

Once in the bathroom, Bogo made a call to Sheriff Maximus. "Sheriff, it's Chief Bogo."

"God, we've been looking for you since you fell off the roof! Are you injured?" Maximus sounded furious as well as relieved, and Bogo couldn't blame him. His town had suffered some significant property damage because of their actions.

Bogo's buttocks were still a little tender, but that wasn't worth mentioning. "We're both fine. We managed to land on a bus and escape injury."

"You lucky bovine. Where are you now?"

"We're on our way back, but we're being held up by traffic. Now you can answer my questions. What happened to the other mammals? Are Officer Hopps and Wilde alright?"

"All of them are on their way to the E.R., but there's a good chance they'll all live."

"And the Blue Goliath Birdeater? The money from the case?" Bogo had to ask.

"The Blue Goliath is at the station, undergoing questioning."

"It's undergoing what?"

"Just kidding. As for the money, we recovered a few thousand but the rest must have been picked up by the crowd."

That's not a problem anymore, Bogo smiled as he remembered the bag of diamonds in his pocket. "What about Irons and Bruce?"

"On their way to the E.R. with the others. Your mayor knows what happened, by the way. He's not happy."

"He'll get over it. You'll found out why soon enough. Which hospital are they being taken too?"

"Tri-Burrow General. Don't bother coming back to the park, my men are handling it. Check on your people, then get to the station so you can explain what the hell has been going on!"

"Alright, we're on our way." Bogo said. "And take good care of that spider. Clawhauser will have your guts for garters if anything happens to it."

When Bogo hung up, he became aware of music coming from outside. His ears perked and he opened the bathroom door.

"Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase! Hakuna Matata, ain't no passing ca-raaaaaze!"

While the three tigers at the bar were preparing some Tequila Sunrises, Gazelle and Clawhauser had gotten themselves two microphones and turned on the stereo. Bogo stood frozen in the doorway, watching his secretary sing a Disney classic with the idol they both adored.

Gazelle, usual was on top form. "It means no worries, for the rest of your daaaaays!"

Clawhauser spotted Bogo, beamed, and held out a third microphone. "It's our policy!"

"Philosophy!" Gazelle beckoned him with a hoof.

"Hakuna Matataaaaa!"

One of the tigers, Ian was his supposed name, approached and offered him a cocktail. Bogo accepted the beverage and gazed at the microphone Clawhauser and Gazelle were offering. He was the Chief of Police, but at the same time he didn't want to be a spoilsport in front of the Angel with Horns. Besides, how many fans would kill for this opportunity?

"Oh, what the hell..." Bogo muttered and took the microphone.

With all four limbs in casts and his head covered in bandages, Captain Maxwell Bitter looked and felt like hell, and the other mammals in the hospital ward looked just as banged up and sullen. Moans and groans filled the large room, just like the beds were full of broken, bruised and bandaged souls. The only two injured mammals not in beds were the mammals least injured in the incident; Judy and Nick. Judy had a broken arm and some bruised ribs, while Nick had a broken nose and a tail so tightly wrapped in bandages that it looked like a mummified rat's tail. They were sitting on uncomfortable metal chairs beside Stu Hopps, who had both ears in bandages and both legs in casts, but more than happy that his little girl was for the most part okay. Bonnie, Pop-Pop and Cotton had yet to arrive from the station.

With so many mammals at once being rushed into the E.R. the hospital had been forced to place them all in this one room until separate rooms could be found for them. This was bad news for Irons and Bruce Wood, even if none of them were in any condition to exact revenge.

"It's all your fault." Bucky said, lying directly opposite from Chief Irons. He'd lost one of his horns and his entire upper torso had been wrapped up. "It was all your fault right from the beginning to the end."

Chief Irons, with his entire skull covered in bandages and both legs and one arm in casts, didn't reply.

"It's people like you who give us prey a bad name in Zootopia." Pronk said acidly to Bruce Wood, having lost both horns and broken an arm and a leg.

"I was trying to make the world a better place!" Bruce Wood snapped, his head the only part of his body that wasn't in a cast.

"You don't even know what that means, Wood." Judy replied without looking at him. "So shut up."

"You know, even for a corrupt policeman, your behavior was gosh-darned outrageous." Gideon said, his head poking out of his neck brace and unable to turn.

"Yeah, you could have taken a fair share like the rest of us." Travis spoke, suffering from two sprained ankles and a hairline fracture in his femur. "But no, you had to go and grab up the whole scene, baby!"

Sporting six broken ribs and two broken arms, Raymond stared morosely into space. "We had six-point-five million bucks right in our paws."

Stu looked at the fingers on his paws, deep in thought. "Eighteen, into six-point-five million dollars..."

A chorus of curses and shouting ensued. With a broken nose, a dislocated knee and a busted humerus that wasn't humorous in the slightest, Kevin glowered at the rabbit. "Shut up!"

Stu shut up, looking sheepish.

"I wish I knew what they were going to do to us." Finnick said, looking miserable with his broken leg and cone of shame. He could barely get the banana from the nearby fruit bowl into his mouth.

"I can't say for sure what's going to happen." Nick spoke, his voice embarrassingly nasally with his bad nose. "But no matter what happens to us..." He turned his cold gaze to Irons and Bruce. "What happens to you guys I hope will be worse!"

Chief Irons looked up at the ceiling, his eyes the only thing visible through the bandages. He seemed to be in his own little world. "I don't think you have to worry too much about that. I've been stripped of my position as Chief of Police... Captain Bitter is the favorite to replace me... Bogo is returning to Zootopia to a hero's welcome... my car and furniture have been iced..." He came out of his little world to peer frostily at the other patients. "And the only reason... that you eleven idiots... will very likely get off lightly... is because the judge will have me up there to throw the book at."

"Oh, that's so awful!" Bitter laughed humorlessly with a sneer.

Irons sighed, not even trying to defend himself. "I'd like to think that sometime, maybe ten or twenty years from now, there'd be something I could laugh at. Anything."

Finnick rolled his eyes and threw his banana skin, which missed the trashcan and landed in the middle of the floor.

Soft footsteps came from outside; the three Hopps' had arrived. Bonnie was holding little Cotton's paw tightly, her expression sour. Pop-Pop led the way into the ward, looking livid as he gazed upon the busted mammals.

"Now see here, you big galoots, this is all your fault! If you hadn't been messing about on the-" He slipped on the banana peel and fell two feet from the air onto his fluffy little backside.

"Pop-Pop!" Judy yelled, her cry drowned out by the ensuing uproar.

When Bogo and Clawhauser heard the sound of laughter coming from the ward as they approached, they wondered if they'd walked into the wrong hospital.

Then they entered the ward and saw nearly every mammal in there laughing their heads off as a protesting Pop-Pop was lifted onto another bed by two rabbit nurses. "Get off me! Leave me alone! Who threw that banana?!" He was quickly wheeled out, followed closely by Judy, Bonnie and Cotton. Nick was half-sprawled on Stu's bed, paralyzed from laughing so much. Stu and Finnick guffawed. Gideon and Travis cackled. Bucky, Pronk, Raymond and Kevin roared. Bitter chortled and Bruce howled. Only Irons wasn't laughing, but a grin was steadily creeping across his face.

Bogo heard Clawhauser start to giggle and raised an eyebrow at him. "Ha ha... sorry sir... ha ha ha... it's this ha ha laughter... it's so contagious!" He was soon bent over, laughing with the rest.

Bogo heard another voice join the commotion; Irons had given in to his sense of humor.

"Oh god, you're right." He said, barely able to hear his own voice. "Let's get out of here before I catch it too!"

It was time to take Gazelle up on her offer of a lift to the station. Bogo dragged the hysterical Clawhauser from the uproarious ward, a small chortle escaping his own lips. Maybe if he asked nicely he could get them both a signed t-shirt.

"It's a mad, maaad, maaaaad, maaaaaaad... WORLD!"

THE END.

And now for a short synopsis on my next endeavour...

Mysteries get mistier in this sequel to the hit movie Zootopia.

What starts as a calamity at the Greener Grass Mall becomes a race against time to stop a budding terrorist group with Zootopia's most famous celebrity in their sights. Judy and Nick's second big case leads them to the infamous Casel family... a family which harbours a dark history with the ZPD's Front Desk Officer.

Keep an eye out for Zootopia: #2!