Take My Hands

'I am Van, King of Fanelia.'

'Hitomi!'

The dark sky was getting further away from her.

Hitomi blinked the rain out of her eyes, just in time to see hot white lightning forked across the sky, and a winged silhouette coming for her.

In the midst of the cold and the loud howling of the rushing wind in her ears as she was free-falling into the bottomless pit, she heard someone, a familiar voice, calling out her name.

'Take my hands, Hitomi!'

In between the raindrops, she saw a pair of white wings coming into view.

Her arms were desperately reaching for the wings that were slowly coming closer and closer; beautiful, magnificent, majestic, like nothing she had ever seen before.

The white-winged angel was coming for her.

Hitomi knew she would be safe as the angel's hand wrapped around her wrist, pulling her into the safety of his arms as his wings beat strongly around her, taking them both out of the abyss.

'You're safe now,' the angel said, his russet eyes taking in her face. 'I am Van, King of Fanelia.'

Hitomi stared at the winged man's familiar face.

She knew him. He was her classmate.

'Van?' she said slowly, 'You're a winged angel? King… of Fanelia?'

Van smiled at her, then he slowly leaned in and softly kissed her.

.o.o.o.

'I can smell the rain.'

Hitomi opened her eyes slowly, those words somehow echoing in her still half asleep mind. She recognized that voice. She rarely heard it but she recognized it all the same.

Without lifting her head, she tried to figure out where she was. A small stack of books was in front of her, some were scattered on the desk she was at. There were rows of bookshelves around her, too.

As her sleepy eyes took in her surroundings, Hitomi realized that she was in the school library. Her arm which had pillowed her head on the cool desk felt dead.

How long was I asleep?

Hitomi let out a small yawn, trying to lift her head up to get the feeling back to her dead arm when she noticed the warmth that was covering the hand of her other arm, which was somehow stretched out across the desk as if reaching for something.

But before she could lift her head up properly to look, the warmth was gone but the memory of it still lingered in her hand.

Hitomi sat up in her chair.

With sleep still blanketing her eyes, she saw Van sitting opposite her at the desk, looking out the library's glass wall with his chin cradled in his hand. She looked at him for a while and then sniffed the air.

'I can smell the rain too,' she said absentmindedly as the darkening sky outside let out a low rumble.

Fragments of her recent dream were quickly fading away, her mind's clumsy hands desperately trying to cling to them. She remembered the white wings, that Van the young king had saved her from falling into a dark chasm. His hand had reached for her. It was Van who had taken her hand.

Hitomi stared at the young man sitting in front of her, the real-life, ordinary Van; his dark hair messy and disheveled like it had never known the hair brush, his school tie loosened around his shirt collar, his sleeves rolled up to the elbows. After what had happened in her dream, he seemed too relaxed in Hitomi's opinion.

She glanced at her watch; it was almost five thirty. School ended about two hours ago and she had decided to head for the library to study for her upcoming exams. And of course she fell asleep trying to force her poor tired brain to study. She hadn't been able to get enough sleep lately and it was making her feel tired and lethargic.

Usually her best friend Yukari would be right there studying with her, but she got herself a boyfriend recently and Hitomi had encouraged her to spend more time with him instead. Yukari didn't really want to leave her friend in favor of her boyfriend but Hitomi insisted. And now she couldn't really concentrate on studying all by herself.

Hitomi rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, glancing at the person sitting in front of her who was intently watching the rolling grey clouds outside.

But what is Van doing here?

When she arrived earlier the library was almost empty, and it was that way most of the time even during exam season.

Is Van the type to frequent the library?

Hitomi shook her head slightly. She didn't think so. She and Yukari were two of the few students who visited the library regularly and she never once saw Van there before.

Hitomi glanced at him again.

For some reason, she had a strange feeling that he was watching her sleep just now. Unconsciously, she stared at her hand, remembering the warmth that she felt.

'Rough night?' Van asked as he leaned back in his chair, finally taking his eyes off the sky lazily as he looked at her.

Hitomi looked at Van, his voice pulling her out of her train of thoughts. It was a strange thing that she could recognize that low, slightly gritty voice even in her sleep.

'What do you mean?'

'You look tired, like you didn't have enough sleep. You fell asleep even before you opened a book,' Van said, one corner of his mouth curving upwards slightly.

Before Hitomi could wonder why he would know such a thing, Van threw in a question she didn't quite expect to come out from his mouth.

'Where's your friend?' he asked.

Van wasn't the type to care much about others, or rather, he usually wouldn't show it. Him wanting to know Yukari's whereabouts definitely was strange.

Hitomi flipped open a book closest to her.

'You mean Yukari?'

She shrugged her shoulders as she placed her chin in her palm, trying to read a passage in the book. 'She's got some business to attend to.'

'Is she on a date with Amano?'

Hitomi looked up at Van in mild surprise.

'How did you know that?' she asked, curious.

Hitomi was certain that Yukari hadn't told anyone other than herself that she had just started dating Amano. Her eyes widened when it suddenly dawned on her still-sleepy mind.

'Are you stalking Yukari?' she hissed in disgust, suddenly feeling the need to fold her arms in front of her.

I can't believe it!

Sure, Van was kind of an oddball, everyone in class knew that. He was the quiet type but spoke his mind when he felt like he needed to. He was not the friendliest person in the world but he never bothered anyone and would do anyone a favor when asked. But never would Hitomi think he was the type to stalk someone!

'Is that what you think?' Van asked calmly, leaning forward slightly in his seat.

Hitomi was slowly getting annoyed at how calm and collected he was acting.

'Anyone would think so,' she said, mirroring Van's movement by leaning towards him, and was suddenly reminded of the image of him kissing her in her dream.

Why am I remembering that now?

'Why are you here? What do you want, Van?' she almost spat.

Hitomi was alarmed at how the memory of her dream, of him kissing her somehow made her feel hostile towards him. Really, Van hadn't done anything to her.

'I can't come to the library?' Van asked, still as calm as ever.

It was getting on Hitomi's nerves how Van was answering everything with a question. She snapped close her book and started gathering all the others on the desk, ignoring Van who was watching her.

Outside, the wind had started to howl as white lightning cracked the sky.

'Forget it. I'm leaving,' Hitomi said, grabbing her bag from the seat next to her.

'Don't,' Van said suddenly, 'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to annoy you.'

Hitomi looked at him, irritated but a little surprised.

Van ran a hand halfway through his messy hair before messing it up even more. Hitomi recognized that move; it was his nervous tic. One year of sitting behind him in class and being able to watch everything he did without him knowing it let Hitomi know at least that much.

Although he sat right in front of her, she rarely talked to him, or rather, he rarely talked to anyone. But when he did talk, be it with someone in class, or when the teacher asked him to read a passage from the textbook, Hitomi would somehow listen to his voice carefully. She liked the way the sound of his voice formed the words as they came out of his mouth. She even admitted to Yukari that she loved listening to Van's voice.

'Too bad he's not the talkative type. I could listen to him all day,' Hitomi had said to Yukari, who wasn't surprise at all when her friend told her that.

Yukari had a feeling that Hitomi was actually attracted to Van without herself realizing it. Yukari sat in front of Van in class, and whenever she needed to talk to Hitomi, she would just turn around and talk to her friend with Van in between them.

Of course, Van would ignore them most of the time as if he wasn't sitting in the middle of two people having a conversation. But Yukari always caught Hitomi staring at Van, admiring, more like. The way her eyes bored into his back, Yukari thought Hitomi looked like she yearned for him.

'I wasn't stalking your friend,' Van said, his fingers playing with his loosened tie, his eyes locked on a pair of couple walking along the corridor of the opposite building; it was their upperclassmen, walking hand in hand. 'I've been seeing Yukari and Amano together a lot lately at the mall near my place, walking around holding hands and being shy around each other.'

Hitomi noticed Van was looking at the couple outside and realized there was a look in his eyes that she couldn't really decipher. She thought there was longing in those amber eyes.

'Is she really dating Amano?' Van asked, as if seeking for confirmation.

Don't tell me…

Hitomi let out a small gasp.

I think I get it now.

Hitomi replaced her bag to the seat next to her, looking at Van like he was an abandoned animal, somehow feeling sorry for him, and a little anxious herself. Leaning forward, she clasped her hands together to her chest.

'Van…?'

'Hm?'

'Are you… do you like Yukari?'

'What?' Van tore his eyes away from the couple outside only to look at Hitomi incredulously. 'Why do you say that? No! I don't like Yukari. I mean, she's nice and all, but I don't like her, not in that way.'

Hitomi leaned back, somewhat surprised that it wasn't what she thought. Somehow, she felt relieved, too, to hear him say that. She didn't quite know why.

'I thought… maybe you liked Yukari, the way you keep asking about her,' Hitomi said quietly, fiddling with her thumbs.

She heard Van sigh.

'I'm sorry to disappoint you,' he said. 'I'm not interested in Yukari.'

After a moment of silence, he added, 'I'm just surprised that she is the one dating Amano. I've always thought that you…'

Hitomi looked up, waiting for him to continue. 'That I what, Van?' she asked when he didn't.

'That you were the one who liked Amano,' Van finished, looking sheepish and slightly red.

Hitomi wondered how much did Van know about herself and Yukari. She wouldn't be surprised if he knew a whole lot about them since they liked to talk to each other in class with Van sitting right there in between them, either sleeping with his head on his desk or ignoring and pretending not to listen to what the two girls were saying. They knew he was listening but seeing how he wasn't the type to care much about girls' gossip or to create trouble with whatever information he overheard, they just let him be.

Hitomi smiled a bit, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

'I guess that's true. I used to like Amano, but not anymore,' she said with a sigh, looking out the glass wall as the wind blew wildly outside. 'I realized it was just a silly infatuation. Besides, Yukari likes Amano more than I do. She really loves him. I'm glad they're both together now.'

'I see,' Van said softly.

Hitomi noticed a small smile lingering on his lips, his expression seemed to relax a bit, like he was relieved of something.

'I'm sorry Yukari and I are always talking in class with you in between us,' Hitomi suddenly felt like she needed to apologize. 'You must really hate listening to us gossip–'

'No, I don't mind,' Van interrupted. 'I actually kind of like it, listening to you. Your voice… it's soothing.'

Hitomi felt her face getting hot. Somehow she felt embarrassed being told that.

'Uh, okay, if you say so,' Hitomi said shyly. She would never have thought that Van liked listening to her as much as she did listening to him.

Van was avoiding looking at her now, and she realized that he must have blurted that out without thinking.

He suddenly stood up.

'I should go,' he said.

'No, stay!' Hitomi called out before she could stop herself. She didn't know why she wanted him to stay.

But there was a flash of white lightning outside and following that her words were drowned by an earth-shattering clap of thunder. She let out a yelp and covered her ears as it started to rain heavily.

Van was standing by the glass wall, his back to Hitomi, watching the rain soak the world outside, turning everything grey. Hitomi stared at Van's familiar back. She had been staring at that broad back for a year now and she found it strange that she would imagine a pair of white wings spreading from it everytime she laid eyes on it.

Right now, he looked like he just might have a pair of white wings on his back, beautiful and magnificent like in her dream. She remembered now. In her dream when she was falling into the abyss, it was raining like this, and Van's white wings were like a beacon in the darkness.

'So beautiful…' Hitomi whispered without meaning to. Van turned around to look at her, but she wasn't sure if he had heard her.

His eyes were softly regarding her, and a gentle smile appeared on his lips. Hitomi had never seen him with that look before. She felt something tugged at her heart as it started beating wildly not unlike the wind outside.

'See ya, Hitomi.'

Hitomi watched in silence as Van left the desk and walked out of the library, the sound of the entrance door closing echoing loudly in her head.

Although Van was no longer there, her heart was still racing. She looked outside, the rain was relentless. The image of Van watching the rain just now suddenly replayed in her mind; the look in his eyes and his smile. She felt that tugging at her heart again.

Hitomi placed a hand on her chest, feeling her heartbeat, wondering what was happening to her.

It's like I'm in love with him, she thought with a small chuckle, shaking her head at the ridiculous thought.

Her chuckling stopped when it suddenly occurred to her.

'But what if I am?' she asked herself out loud.

Hitomi stared at her hand, remembering the warmth once more, the dream, his white wings, his kiss, his eyes, his smile, his voice.

She let out a long sigh, placing her head on the desk again as she watched the rain outside.

'Maybe I am in love with him,' she said softly to herself, closing her eyes as she listened to the sound of the rain.

.o.o.o.

An hour after Van had left her, an hour of contemplating and trying to figure out her own feelings, Hitomi decided to go home. It was impossible for her to think straight right now, let alone studying.

It was still raining outside, but the wild wind had died down a bit. She didn't have an umbrella with her but that suited Hitomi just fine since she had decided to walk in the rain. Being soaked by the rain would probably help her get away from the overflowing thoughts in her head right now.

Hitomi pushed opened the library door and was greeted by a cool breeze smelling of rain. She smiled as she felt it caressing her face.

She let out a long sigh.

'Rain, please, I hope you can help me out for a bit,' Hitomi said quietly to herself, hoping she would feel better as she started making her way to the front of the library's covered porch.

'Hitomi.'

Hitomi whirled around, and to her utter surprise, saw Van sitting on the low wall of the porch with one leg up, bent at the knee. A white umbrella was in his hand.

'Van? You're still here? I thought you went home,' Hitomi asked, a little shocked to see him there. Her heart was suddenly beating fast again.

Van raked his hair with his hand, messing it up even more. 'I was wondering if you had an umbrella with you.'

Hitomi stared at him.

Was he waiting for me out here?

'I don't,' she said.

Van stood up and walked towards her. Then he offered her the umbrella in his hand.

'Here,' he said rather awkwardly.

'Van, it's okay. I don't really–'

'Please, take it,' Van insisted.

When Hitomi hesitated, he took her hand and placed the umbrella firmly in it. Hitomi stared at the whiteness of the umbrella in her hand, slightly taken aback by Van's touch.

'We can share,' she said quietly, her eyes slowly meeting Van's surprised ones.

And that gentle smile she saw earlier appeared again.

'No, Hitomi. That umbrella is only big enough for one person. Both of us will get wet if we were to share it,' Van said. 'And I don't want you to get sick,' he added softly, running his hand in his hair again.

Hitomi was really lost for words. Her feelings right now; she didn't know what to think of them as she watched Van being nervous around her.

'I'll be going now,' Van said, taking steps away from her. 'Take care, Hitomi.'

'… You too, Van,' Hitomi managed to say. She wanted to stop him, but she didn't know what to say to him.

Just before he stepped out into the rain, Van stopped and turned to look at Hitomi.

'Get some good night sleep, Hitomi. You really do look tired,' Van said. 'You were talking in your sleep just now.'

'I was?' Hitomi said in shock, her face turning red. She hoped she didn't say anything embarrassing, or maybe Van didn't completely hear or understand whatever she had let out in her sleep.

'You definitely were,' Van said with a small chuckle as he stepped into the rain.

'And Hitomi,' he said in a gentle voice, a playful smile on his lips, 'no, I'm not a winged angel, nor am I King of Fanelia.'

It took Hitomi a moment to realize what Van was implying; that she had said those words in her dream out loud, and that Van knew she was dreaming of him.

Take my hands, Hitomi!

His words from her dream were suddenly ringing in her head.

She stared at her hand.

Did Van really take my hand when I was asleep at the desk?

Hitomi stood wondering as she watched Van's familiar back slowly disappear behind the grey curtains of rain.

For a moment, just before Van was completely swallowed by the rain, Hitomi thought she saw a pair of white wings spreading from his back, beautiful, magnificent, majestic, like nothing she had ever seen before.

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*** End ***

Author's Note

8 July 2018

Hi! I just want to let you know that there's a short continuation to this story called Memory of a Dream. Go read it if you're interested to see more of Van and Hitomi :D

This story was inspired by one of the scenes in the Escaflowne movie, and I borrowed the name of the soundtrack that accompanied the scene for the title of this story. Thank you for reading!