Shades of Sunset

So this just sort of happened.

I'm pretty sure I meant to stop typing way before I did.
Thank you to all you folks who gave this fic some love, and me some ideas, I hope this lives up to it!

'Happiness can be found even in the darkest times if one only remembers to turn on the light'
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban


She-elf: Thank you so much for the lovely comment, whilst it may not go on forever, it goes go on for a bit more :)

Equine 14: Awww thanks, poor Spock indeed, I got very protective of him watching ST Beyond!

Guest: Consider it continued and thank you for the kind words!

morningstar115: Thank you! You're very welcome. Have some more.

Lynn-G: Thanks! Well, I've got one more chapter it turns out!


Jim slumped down further into the generically uncomfortable medical centre chair in a terrified sulk.

Somewhere beyond the doors in front of him Spock was fighting for his life.

Together, he and Bones had listened, respectfully determined to remember every word, to their friend's faltering voice describing the beauty of his home planet in the way that only a native could. Jim, half his mind on landing the alien craft as gently as possible in consideration of his stricken first, had sat with growing pit of fear in his stomach as Spock increasingly struggled to get through each sentence.

Then, finally on the ground, doing his best to put Spock's renewed mewls of pain out of his mind, the heart-stopping run to the med centre, Spock laid so still on the stretcher, the frantic shouting of doctors, Bones' angry growls the loudest of them all, "Goddammit, he's a green-blooded computer, but he's our green-blooded computer, don't you tell me you know how to treat him, do you even know where his heart is?"

Remembering the feeling of Spock's elegant fingers slipping from his as they pushed through doors where he couldn't follow; leaving him standing slumped in the corridor absently trying to recall when he had first grasped the Vulcan's hand.

Listening to the fading shouts of Bones demanding "plasma" and "electrolytes" and worriedly grumbling about how "the damned hobgoblin's body won't accept a Vulcan blood transfusion" to the bewildered medical staff who had finally deferred to his expertise in all matters Spock.

Then silence.

At some point Uhura had appeared, face painted in frantic worry. Jim knew she was down as Spock's emergency contact despite the recent turbulence in their relationship, but it quickly became clear that she knew no more than him. They waited, accompanied only by the quiet ticking of the clock.

Finally after hours, days, Jim wasn't sure Bones reappeared tired, but smiling. It was all the reassurance Jim needed, because if Bones was smiling, Spock was alive.

"Is he ok?" the captain of the Enterprise jumped to his feet with a shout. Bones quickly motioned for him to clear his voice down and Jim blushed as he remembered that a lot of patients nearby were probably trying to sleep.

"He's a stubborn sod," Bones replied softly, "and a darned lucky one at that," Bones sighed, face dropping slightly, "but he's not out of the woods yet, the wound's infected, we were expecting that, cauterisation often leads to it, so he's fighting off a fever."

At the sight of the two concerned faces in front of him he realised that hadn't exactly sounded heartening.

"What about the healing trance?" Uhura asked softly, surprising Jim who had never heard of any such thing. Bones clearly had as he was frowning.

"For some reason he's having trouble slipping into one," now Uhura was frowning as well, "I've spoken to M'Benga, he's the chief Vulcan expert here, and he reckons Spock's just overstretched himself. As it is, so long as nothing else hits him he'll be fine, healing trance or no, his blood cell count is thankfully going up and he's getting antibiotics to help tackle the infection. He'll be up and about in no time, although," Bones mused with a wry grin, "perhaps not quite as soon as he would like."

Relaxing in the face of his best friend's optimism Jim realised suddenly just how exhausted he was, he had no idea how long he'd been awake for. Bones seemed to see it too.

"Get some rest Jim, they won't let anyone see him until tomorrow anyway."

"You too Bones," Jim shot back, concerned for his friend.

With a nod and a comforting squeeze to his shoulder, Bones moved to have a quick word with Uhura about Vulcan things that Jim didn't understand, even though he probably should. How much did he still not know about someone he considered a close friend? Berating himself he made a mental note to spend more time talking to Spock over games of chess in the future.

Jim cast one last look at the doors that led to his precious first officer before turning away, the weight of worry considerably lifted from his mind, and began to attempt to find his way out of the maze that some people called a hospital.


The following morning Jim was at the med centre at the crack of dawn, practically bouncing with barely-contained energy. He was finally being allowed to see Spock.

Bones had been forced to set up a rota, when the sheer number of people wanting to visit the Vulcan became overwhelming. The first few days only had the bridge crew and Spock's father, Sarek, scheduled, and Bones had warned them to expect Spock to be uncoherent or sleeping for much of the time whilst his body fought off infection, but he grudgingly admitted that it would probably do even Spock some good to hear familiar voices.

Lieutenant Uhura, who due to her telepathic bond with Spock had stayed with the half-Vulcan through the night, met him outside Spock's room. She quickly explained that Spock was still feverish; although the worst seemed to be over. The Vulcan had been slipping in and out of conscious, and in and out of awareness, and had often slipped into speaking Vulcan without realising during the fevered dreams of the night.

"Thanks Nyota." Jim murmured, surprised at her lack of reaction to his use of her first name.

"Just," Uhura swallowed, visibly shaken by the experience, "just keep talking to him ok? He seems to find some comfort in it, even when he's asleep."

"Of course," Jim agreed, worried at how subdued she seemed compared to normal "Are you alright?"

"It's just, seeing him like this," Uhura paused, hands fluttering at her sides, "makes me realise how close I was to losing him," her voice began to crack as tears flooded her eyes, "I can't lose him Kirk, I love him." Giving in to his compassionate urges, Jim pulled her into an embrace.

"You won't Nyota, you won't, not if Bones and I have anything to say about it. Spock's going to be demanding that he's fit for duty in no time, you'll see, he'll drive us all crazy, they'll let him out just to get him out of their hair."

Uhura giggled weakly as Jim pulled back so he could look her in the eye, wanting her full attention for what he had to say.

"We've both been idiots, him and I," he admitted, "thinking that we could ever leave the Enterprise behind. That ship, the crew, it's family. If the last few days have taught me anything Nyota, it's that we could never abandon our family, and believe me when I say that the moment Spock was well enough, you were his first thought and his priority. For crying out loud, he convinced us to let him come on the away mission to rescue the crew because you were down there. I think it's been a wake-up call for him too."

Jim gave Uhura a moment to regain her composure, which had been thoroughly wrecked by his confession.

"Really?" she whispered hopefully.

"Really," he confirmed, brushing away the few rebel tears that had escaped, "and I hope I'm the one who has the honour of marrying you two lovesick fools."

At that, Uhura let about a proper laugh, a smile working its way back onto her face, "thank you Jim, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that."

"No problem, I'm sure his supreme Vulcan-ness will tell you himself in no time," Jim glanced up at the door, "but until then, I recommend you get some sleep."

With a nod of agreement, Uhura slowly de-tangled herself from the hug and, with one last longing glance at the entrance to Spock's room, turned and headed for her own bed. Left alone Jim took a steading breath and with a shaking hand tapped in the entry code, hoping for the best but prepared for the worst.

Jim had managed to briefly catch an exhausted but calmer Bones when he arrived at the hospital. The disgruntled doctor had complained about how nice Spock suddenly was, "it's weird Jim, the hobgoblin's actually being pleasant, I actually miss the insults y'know," before explaining that he had been flitting in and out of Spock's room all morning. He was keeping a close eye on the half-Vulcan, but seemed relatively unconcerned, the fever was dying down and Spock was already growing more coherent for larger periods of time.

Relief filled him as he entered the room to see Spock awake and aware, face pain-free, likely as a result of the drugs they were pumping into him. Propped up slightly on some pillows with hair adorably askew he was, in spite of the unnatural pallor of his skin and beads of sweat from the fever, happily, or as happily as a Vulcan could be, reading from a PADD.

It was also clear that, as Bones had said, Spock was getting better. Even with Jim's limited knowledge of the bio-bed displays he could tell that the readings looked significantly improved compared to those the stretcher had thrown up the day before.

The first officer of the Enterprise glanced up as Jim walked in and offered that small twitch of a smile and a raised eyebrow at his own undoubtedly dishevelled appearance.

"Captain," Spock greeted softly, voice weak and still croaky from where Jim knew they had hurriedly intubated him the day before when it had become clear that the Vulcan was struggling to breath normally around his injury.

"At ease Spock." Jim joked, grin back full force as he perched on the edge of the bed, ignoring the chair beside it for fear of doing permanent damage to his abused back, "how are you?"

"I am…" Spock cut himself off, taking a moment to assess the situation, "I am… considerably improved Captain, although I would not say I am 'well'."

"That's good to hear, and it's Jim, not Captain," Jim reminded the Vulcan gently, "we're off duty."

"Of course, Jim," Spock replied softly, "please accept my apologies, my illness has… clouded my mind."

"Forgiven," Jim declared, smoothing the sheets gently, as though the movement alone could comfort his friend.

"Has Nyota left to rest?" Spock asked after a moment of awkward silence. Jim could hear both the worry and affection in his tone.

"Yeah, she looked pretty tired, so I sent her home." Spock nodded gently, a small frown appearing, "Spock?"

"I do not recall much about the events following our landing," Spock confessed, "it is disconcerting. But I do remember hearing Nyota's voice."

"She sat with you most of the night." Jim explained, glad that Spock had been able to draw some relief from her presence as Bones had hoped, "she said you kept slipping into Vulcan." Much to his surprise this knowledge did not seem to alarm his first.

"That is not unexpected considering the nature of my dreams."

"I thought Vulcan's didn't dream?" Jim asked, some of his first year xenobiology classes coming back to him. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Full Vulcans do not." Ah, of course.

"But you do." Jim stated quietly, treading carefully.

"It would appear so." Spock responded as quietly, fidgeting in a manner so unlike his usual self. When he offered no more Jim did what he did best in situations like these and pushed.

"What did you dream about?" Spock's eyes shot up to meet his gaze, his surprise lingering beneath the surface of chocolate irises. For a moment Jim thought Spock wasn't going to reply.

"Ko-mekh, ha-kel, eh paki-panu." The Vulcan words were barely a whisper. Jim needed no translation of the last one, it was on every memorial to Vulcan he had seen. Another word also sounded strangely familiar.

"Ko-mekh," Jim repeated, hoping internally that he wasn't ruining the pronunciation, "I know that word," he racked his mind for the basic Vulcan course he had taken, but Spock intervened before he could recollect the translation.

"Ko-mekh," the word rolled smoothly of Spock's tongue, "mother."

Oh Spock.

Jim swallowed uncomfortably, before offering Spock his hand, the Vulcan looked at it in confusion for a moment before hesitantly taking it. Jim did his best to project his honesty with his words.

"I grieve with thee." Spock closed his eyes against the sorrow, grounding himself in his Captain's concern, love, and sincerity.

"Thank you Jim." The words were thick with emotion that they would both later deny. Slowly, Spock rebuilt his walls, Jim sat patiently waiting, softly removing his hand the moment it became clear that the Vulcan was uncomfortable with the touch, but not before he caught the tail end of Spock's exhaustion, the conversation having worn the injured man out.

"I fear I am presently unable to continue with this conversation." Spock mumbled as he struggled to keep his eyes open. Jim gave him a fond smile before he commandeered a pillow in the hopes of making the chair less back-breaking.

"It's ok Spock, sleep," Jim paused, quietening his voice as he realised that his friend had already dropped off and utilising a Vulcan word he had picked up from Ambassador Spock, "I'll be right here t'hai'la."

Sitting down into his chair Jim picked up Spock's discarded PADD, brought up some old Earth literature he knew Spock was fond of to read aloud and settled in for the remainder of his shift.


A/N

Vulcan translations (I used the Vulcan Language Dictionary for reference here):

Ko-mekh, ha-kel, eh paki-panu
Mother, home and lost-world (a way of referring to the planet Vulcan following its destruction by Nero)

t'hai'la
Variation on t'hy'la - Friend, life-long companion, blood brother/sister (not used as lover in this context)

Once again please forgive any typos, I do try to proofread but occassionally some slip through.