The explanation of 'Mikey adopted an alligator baby' didn't seem to shock April's father as much as she had figured it would, when he asked her why she was digging through her old baby things. She supposed that after being kidnapped by aliens, making friends with mutants in a sewer, turning into a bat, and turning back again, adding one more weird kid to the host of weird kids he was slowly becoming acquainted with didn't really make that much of a dent. He even offered to babysit if needed, although April got the feeling that the offer was only on the table as long as she didn't take him up on it.

She skipped school the next morning to go shopping for more baby things, reminding herself that a kid was more important than bringing her grades back up to standard. Some of the shopkeepers gave her rude looks, but she declined to try and explain why her teenage self was buying diapers and parenting books; Mikey had volunteered her as a sort of surrogate mother, after all.

She kicked off her sewage-covered boots as soon as she reached the lair and was greeted by the sight of Raphael carrying Leatherhead in a sling on his chest. He paused on the way to the pit, baby bottle and magazine in his hands. April started to giggle at the sight of him and he gave her a shit look.

"What?!"

"Nothing, nothing-"

Raph put down his magazine and snapped a pair of sunglasses out from a pocket of the baby sling, sliding them over his snout.

"Deal with it, lady," he said.

April laughed and approached the pit.

"You guys live underground, why do you even have sunglasses," she giggled. Raph snorted at her.

"Rule of cool."

"Michelangelo bedazzled every appliance in the kitchen," April countered. He shrugged, folding away the glasses and sitting down on the bench.
"Different ideas of cool. Anyway, you got anything interesting in there?"

April plopped down into the pit and rummaged through one of her bags.

"I had no idea babies needed so much stuff! Here." She handed him a jar of sticky-looking mush and a tiny rubber spoon. "I got a few baby books, and at his rate of development he should be able to eat more solid stuff now."

"Yeah, Mikey was already feeding him chunks of pepperoni by the time Donnie came in and said the same thing. You should have seen it," Raph said, breaking off into a laugh. "He looked real enthusiastic about finally getting some real meat but he kept spitting it back out, it was hilarious."

"Well, now you get to try," said April, waving chicken-flavored baby mush at him. He scooted away from her and picked up the bottle he'd brought.

"Oh, no way, I'm giving him the nasty-ass 'formula' Mikey and Donnie came up with last night. He's good with the bottle."
To prove it, and make her put down the jar, he stuck the nipple of the bottle between the little alligator's teeth and gave her a smug smile when Leatherhead quietly ate. April shoved the jar back into her bag and climbed out of the pit, lightly knocking her knuckles on the back of Raph's head as she moved into the hall. The door to Donnie's lab was open and she knocked on it gently before peering in. Surprisingly, Mikey was in there.

"Oh, hey April!" he said, wheeling around the room on a rolling stool. Donnie peered at her over the tops of several machines stacked on the desk in the corner.

"Hi guys," she said, holding out her arms and letting Michelangelo snatch away her bags as he rolled past her.

"We're doing science," he said.

"We're analyzing components of Leatherhead's DNA to see exactly what the Kraang did to him," said Donnie, just as one of the jury-rigged laptops by his side beeped.

"Science," Mikey hissed.

"So, why," asked April as she stepped over to the desk. Donnie gave her a greeting smile and tapped a pencil on a screen.

"Well, he really can't be more than three or four months old, but his physical control is more indicative of that of a five or six-month-old infant, showing that his rate of development is going to be faster and more unpredictable than that of a human baby - but not quite as fast as that of a normal alligator."

"I still can't get over that we really have a baby here. And he's all ours to take care of."

"Yep," said Donnie, leaning back in his chair. "The joys of early parenthood without the hassle of teen pregnancy."

"Aw, I bet it would be fun," said Mikey from the other side of the lab. Donatello threw a pencil at him, hitting him on the hand and forcing him to stop poking at the equipment.

"You are a reptile," he said acidly. "And more to the point, you are male. Now can we please get back to the subject on hand?"

Mikey balanced his shell on the rolling stool, watching Donnie and April from upside-down as he wheeled over.

"D'you think Leatherhead'll start walking or talking first," he asked. "'Cause I've got BIG plans for both when they happen!"

"From the books I bought, it looks like they should happen around the same time," said April, prompting Mikey to rifle through the bags he'd taken from her.

"I'm not entirely sure he even will be talking, to tell you the truth," said Donnie. "Most of the mutants we've met have been able to, sure, but I'm still deciphering what exactly is in his DNA. Given the anatomy of his jaw and diaphragm, he may not be able to use human speech."

Mikey paused from reading a baby book upside-down, and nodded. "That's cool. We can talk other ways. I've always wanted to learn sign language!"
"I don't doubt that Leatherhead is intelligent to use it, if need be," said Donnie vaguely. April peered over his shoulder to the lines of code on his computer and suddenly found a cotton swab two inches from her face.

"Do you mind if I get a DNA sample from you? For, um, research purposes?"
April could hear the 'because you're the only other Kraang mutant around' floating in the air, and grumpily took the cotton swab. The fact that she'd been genetically engineered by the same asshole chewed-up wads of gum that kidnapped her dad and tried to terraform the planet was still a sore spot for her, and wasn't brought up very often. It still rankled that the turtles were technically more human than she was.

Sequencing her DNA for comparison would take time, so April joined Mikey in looking through the pile of books Donny had pulled out for reference. She took careful notes from both the baby books and the reptile books, jotting down everything (or, mostly everything) that Mikey pointed out or found interesting. Behind them, Donnie tapped away at his computer, the soft sounds of his quiet muttering and whirring machines turning into warm white noise, before they were interrupted half an hour into their research.

"Alright, Mikey, I've had enough." April turned to see Raphael peering around the metal door of the lab. "Here, take your brat," he said sourly, though she noticed that he was gently scratching under Leatherhead's chin. Michelangelo immediately wheeled over to the pair and shrugged on the baby sling, cooing over the little reptile as though he'd been gone for a month.

"I've already fed him and shit," said Raphael, handing over the empty baby bottle. "You can deal with the diapers."

"No problem-o. Yo, April, you got the stuff?"

April pointed to the bags Mikey had taken from her and he rolled across the lab, adding spins and turns to make Leatherhead laugh. The sound of the giggles drew Donnie's attention from his computer.

"Well," he said quietly. "That answers that question. If he can laugh, he should be able to speak."

"Awesome," said Michelangelo. "I'm gonna teach him to talk. His first words will be 'pizza' and 'Mikey is awesome'. Aw, April, what is this?"
Clutching at a packet of diapers in one hand, he gingerly held out one of the jars of baby food with two fingers, as if he'd catch germs by touching it too much.

"It's baby food, Mikey," said April, scratching down a note on scale injuries. "It's good for him."
"It's boring," Mikey moaned. "He likes pepperoni better."
"Pepperoni isn't baby food," April muttered, burying herself back in her book. Arguing with Michelangelo was like watching a train-wreck in action, and best left off before one got in too deep. Donnie helpfully cleaned up and organized the pile of research books as Michelangelo rummaged for cleaning supplies.

"Given that he's an apex predator, his preference for meat isn't surprising. It's the fact that Mikey's fed him every food combination he could concoct and Leatherhead liked it that's surprising."

April heard Mikey mutter something about fine cuisine before he and Leatherhead left, second-hand diaper bag swinging from one arm.

"The diet's not actually what worries me," said Donnie quietly. April looked up from her notes; he glanced at her and shrugged. "We'll manage. His being an omnivore actually makes things easier. I'm more concerned with the size and territorial nature of normal alligators."
"They can get pretty big," remarked April, having seen one in a zoo. "You think Leatherhead will grow a lot?"
"He's already nearly three feet from snout to tail," said Donatello. "If we're going by human development, he really should be smaller. Of course, I have absolutely no clue if he started out as an alligator, or if he's something from Dimension X and just looks like an alligator-"
"His snout's actually more crocodilian, I think," said April.

"Exactly! His development is going to be extremely unpredictable, but I know already that he's going to get big. Like, the size of Slash big."
April, who had yet to meet the mutated tortoise, shook her head. Donnie's eyes darkened beneath his mask.

"Trust me," he said. "He's probably over nine feet tall. You don't want to meet him."

April eyed the thin scars that stretched over Donnie's shoulder and plastron, courtesy of Raph's former pet, and silently agreed. Michelangelo then chose that moment to waltz back into the lab and drop a bagged diaper on Donnie's desk, breaking the dark mood that had entered the air.

"Got you a stool sample, D!"
Donnie eyed the thing sitting between two of his keyboards, pushing his chair back with a squeak.

"I didn't ask for a stool sample, Mikey!"
"Yeah. But you're doing sciency stuff and doctors on TV always want one, so there you go, just in case you need one!"
"I…appreciate it."

"No problem, bro."
"Please get it off of my desk."
Leatherhead chose that moment to squirm, looking at April and chirping. She was surprised that he seemed to recognize her, and pushed her notebooks aside in order to get up and take him from Michelangelo, who was looking for a better place to put the diaper.

Leatherhead klapped at her as she wrapper her arms around him and sat back down, having forgotten just how heavy the little reptile was. Donnie paused in directing Mikey were to set the diaper to watch her.

"He really seems to enjoy that," he said. April looked down at the alligator burrowing against her stomach and scratched Leatherhead between the eyes. He tilted his head up and squeaked.

How the hell was something with that many teeth so adorable?

Leatherhead craned his neck and gently tested those teeth on her finger. April pulled herself free with a wince.

"He probably likes the warmth," she said, gently shaking her hand before booping him on the snout.

"No biting," she murmured. Leatherhead chirped, and was forgiven.

Everybody reacted to the littlest reptile in the lair differently, April learned over the next few weeks.

Leonardo was willing to do his part in the feeding and cleaning of their newest family member, but he was relatively indifferent to playing with the baby and seemed nervous about getting bit, especially while feeding him. The baby was something new to look after and caring about him was necessary, but not a vocation.

To Donatello, the baby was a both a new project and an unwelcome distraction. He was immensely interested in the his development, mental capabilities, and unusual DNA, but things like playtime and feeding schedules were a bit of a nuisance. He was far from neglectful – on the other hand entirely, he was very strict about giving the baby proper nutrition and the right about of exercise and rest and had a steady schedule for everything, but Leatherhead took up a lot of time and headspace, and so babysitting duty was far from Donatello's favorite activity.

Raphael actually was the most relaxed about having a baby in the lair, treating him like a regular fixture, talking to him and taking him around the lair wherever he went. He gave off that he was helping the kid's mental development, but April knew that he really just enjoyed having someone to chat at, an ear that was always listening and never judgmental. Taking care of the baby became a habit almost instantly, and April had the feeling that Raph would have claimed the role of main caregiver if Mikey had let him.

Mikey took absolute joy in everything Leatherhead-related. Feeding him, cleaning him, doing the baby exercises that Donny found online, naptime – everything. Pushing aside his insistence that pizza-ice-cream-and-lasagna shakes were a perfectly reasonable food to feed an infant mutant alligator, he actually was a model caregiver. Raph was the diligent one in terms of physical needs, but April had the feeling that Mikey's constant love, empathy, and surprising no-bullshit tolerance would actually have Leatherhead grow up less like the wild child she had initially envisioned.

April didn't see Splinter interact with Leatherhead very much, but one day she had come into the kitchen to find Splinter quietly enjoying a cup of tea, Leatherhead curled up against his chest and napping to the reverberations of a hummed Japanese lullaby. She didn't intrude.

All in all, the integration of a new family member went about as smoothly as it usually did, excluding Casey Jones's colorful insults and Slash's initially murderous intentions. The baby, as far as anyone could tell, was happy, healthy, and – if the cliché could be forgiven – an absolute bundle of joy.

It's just surprising, April thought as her tessen banged off the head of a Kraang droid and landed back in her hand - that it took so long for everything to go to hell.

There is a picture on tumblr by brokenheadmilk on tumblr of Raph and baby!LH with sunglasses on and it's cute and badass at the same time, check it out. I can totally see Raph as the guy decking his kid out in both frilly dresses and black leather with spikes on. Donnie would make sure the kid is dressed appropriately for the weather and occasion, whereas Leo would try to be the most responsible one but would end up being the geek sticking the poor thing in miniature Space Heroes t-shirts. Mikey probs wouldn't care about boys' or girls' clothes, just whatever looked cute and could have SWAG bedazzled across the back.

Partially inspired by my grandmother finding some old baby films of me, to my immense dismay. I actually Do Not Like babies or children much, and watching myself as an infant on film was mildly horrifying. There I was, a little pink potato goblin, just wriggling on a blanket and trying to eat my feet…menacingly…But there was one scene of my Grandad trying to feed me actual food for the first time, and I kept spitting it out, and he kept trying. That shit took patience.

At the animal shelter I work at we named a group of four kittens after the turtles. Also I named a feral kitten Shredder. He does his best to live up to the name, but I'm wearing away at him. Update: all our animals were evacuated because of Hurricane Matthew. Out of the turtle group only Donatello remains with us, because he had ringworm.

In this AU Spike's already turned into Slash. We'll see if I can do something with him in here…

Got in a tiny reference to the Out of the Shadows film. Did you spot it?

Don't tell Raph, but it actually was Donnie who had the bedazzler. We tend to forget that Donnie is actually the biggest shit of them all; Michelangelo is just louder and more conspicuous. Mikey was so pleased with the sparkles and resulting shrieks of despair that he willingly took the credit and the punishment.