[Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc: After this, therefore because of this]

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Nakamori Haruka: Is In Fact A Boy

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It was, in retrospect, all Haruka's fault.

He had been the one to, after finding out that Naruto was learning to summon toads (finding out with a toad resting on his chest when he woke up with the message 'Look what I learned!' from his teammate), track Maito Gai down to take him to wherever Kakashi-sensei had squirrelled away with Sasuke to train. He had then, while Gai challenged his rival, mentioned the summoning toads to Sasuke which immediately got the competitive Uchiha on board to ask Sensei to teach them how to summon.

They could not learn Ninken, which honestly disappointed Haruka because those dogs were awesome , since their loyalty meant that they only allowed a single summoner at a time so they went with the Reverse Summoning method. Sasuke went first, he was gone a half hour and returned a bit messy with a bunch of brown feathers sticking to him but looking satisfied when he announced that he now had Hawk Summons.

Then it was Haruka's turn, which is where things went wrong.

When he reversed summoned himself, Nakamori Haruka appeared not in the entryway to a summon clan's territory that suited him but in a chaotic whirlwind of color, sound and feeling. Something connected, or multiple somethings, and then he was thrown back- memories of past lives bombarding him, leaving him sprawled on his back with Sensei peering down at him with a bit of concern.

"That was horrible-" Haruka complained, Leon Harper's memories of wizarding travel coming to the front, like a portkey.

Sensei helped him up, "

"Did it work?" Sasuke asked.

Haruka shrugged, then nodded because something happened. He felt lackluster, exhausted and worn out from reliving previous lives along with going over his current life- Haruka made a note to self (feel a pang of longing for Cedric) to apologize to Sakura for taking her place even though-... Haruka glared at Sasuke, "I am a boy ."

His suspicion was correct, Sasuke went wide-eyed. "B-but! You never joined us at public baths! And always got your own room! And every team has a kunoichi!"

"You only ever go to try to see Sensei's face which, while I'm sure would be pretty awesome to finally actually see , isn't really a good enough reason to pay for bathing I can do for free at home. I like my space," Haruka said. "And the previous Ino-Shika-Cho were an all male team."

"Haruka-chan's gender aside." Kakashi said, seeming amused. "Gai, I think it's time to take him back."

He eyed his teacher suspiciously, because he just noticed that Sensei had never referred to him as a gender until now, but couldn't say anything with how the Green Beast swept him up. "Of Course My Rival! There is Much to Prepare For! Let Us Go Haruka-kun!"

Apparation, Haruka mused as the world blurred away in the jōnin's shunshin , is worse but not by much. Much better then Continent Warpings though.

The first thing he did, since he felt guilty taking her place even if he hadn't known it at the time, was track down Haruno Sakura. Then he was faced with the realization that A) who couldn't just apologize out of nowhere for something he couldn't explain and B) Haruno Sakura hated him.

"Did you need something, Nakamori-san?" the little pink haired girl said in a barely polite tone.

Haruka, because he was useless in confrontations he couldn't ignore or fight, blurted out, "My team thinks I'm a girl."

"Um." Sakura blinked rapidly in surprise then, slowly, asked. "...are you?"

And, because he really didn't have anything else to talk to her about, nodded rapidly. " No! They thought I was a girl- I'm not even sure Sensei knew before I told them I was, in fact, a boy- and I bet Naruto still thinks I am a girl! And I don't know why that happened! It's not like I dress like a girl! I don't even know-!" He might have flailed, just a bit, but he was sure the girl wouldn't be questioning why he was talking to her about this.

"You don't dress like a girl," Sakura told him. "But, well, your hair is purple- even if it's dark- and long- even if it's wild- which you keep in a ponytail along with using your forehead protector as a headband like me...plus you're always wearing a scarf so it's not like we could see if you were a boy…and you were in kunoichi class..."

"Haruno-chan, I am sorry but you are going to be my new Cedric." Haruka told her, chin tucked into his black scarf- ignoring the confused 'new Cedric' mouthing to say philosophically "Everyone needs a Cedric." Then he was grabbing her arm and dragging her out of her house with a, "I'm kidnapping your daughter for the evening, Haruno-san!"

"W-what are you doing!?" Sakura shrieked.

"Kidnapping with parental consent!" He told her, laughter bubbling as he wound through the streets to Team 7's training ground. "Now," Haruka said when they made it to the training ground, whirling to face her as he let her go. "Let's train."

Sakura did as terribly as the Clan did when Leon and the Court of Clams first introduced PE to Hogwarts; her endurance was nothing and her experience seemed nonexistent but. She kept getting up and the Hufflepuff in him was pleased, so he called a quits when the sun started setting and treated her to a meal at Snack Akimichi .

"What have you been doing since graduation?" He asked her between gobbling down the yakiniku then said, "Eat you katsudon."

Sakura startled a bit but obediently popped a bit of tonkatsu in her mouth, "I…" She said once swallowing. "Haven't done much of anything...the team I was assigned to failed so I'm-..." She shrugged.

"Are you going back to the Academy?" Haruka asked, getting another shrug. "Well, maybe you should go talk to Iruka-sensei, explain what you want to do- what kind of goals you have for the future- and maybe he can give some advice on how to proceed."

She stalled with another mouthful. "I don't know, going back seems-...I think I will talk to Iruka-sensei first." Then redirected the conversation, "What are you doing now?"

"Training for the Chūnin Exam final stage," He answered. "It's a tournament and I'll be fighting a foreign shinobi named Kinuta Dosu. The one who was helping me," Which, interestingly enough, was Tenzo/Yamato . "Was called for a mission so I'm on my own now but it's only a few days and I've already got a couple of Suiton jutsu to master so it's not bad."

Sakura was frowning a bit now, "Your sensei isn't teaching you?"

"Well he did teach me summoning." I think. Maybe. Depends on what the heck happened. "But he's teaching Sasuke how to use the Sharingan and prepare him for Gaara." Gaara, whom was insane and yet his favorite of the generation even whilst insane, whom he kind of wanted to hug like his teeny, first-year minions of the Court. Though, speaking of the Court-... "Note to Sakura, change Court to Clan Vongola."

Wide green eyes, he had a sudden pang for his cub, looked at him in confusion. "I'm sorry, note to me ?"

"My notes to self aren't frequently remembered," Haruka explained. "So I make notes to Cedric and since you are my new Cedric, it is now Notes to Sakura. Plus, you have one of the best memories of our year- you'd make a pretty awesome poison specialist or medic with it."

She flushed a bit, "You think so?" It was hopeful and he suddenly wondered what things were like for the graduates whom failed to become Genin, how that must feel . "Change Court to Clan Vongola," she repeated. "What does that mean?"

"I'll tell you when I figure it out." He answered because he really doubted that, this being a ninja village in a not-Earth world, he'd be smuggling books, instruments, art supplies, sports equipment and the like. "Ready to go?"

It wasn't until later, after he walked Sakura home and had taken a shower, that Haruka paused in the middle of his apartment (a literal one room apartment since he never really gotten around to moving out to larger one after becoming a Genin). "I just took Haruno Sakura on a date ."

Then shook his head, laid down in bed and breathed before attempting Occlumency for the first time in this life.

Occlumency was something that Leon had started learning about at the end of fourth year, after 'learning' about Ginny Weasley's possession he'd taken it upon himself to research mental protections to put his newest minion at ease and by fifth year he had found a decent enough book to start learning Occlumency. Cedric, who started learning with him, was better at the traditional 'suppression' method but Leon had remembered reading fanfictions of 'guards' and 'mazes' instead of just the 'blank' or 'wall' so he tried to make a maze, though not of the general Hogwarts because it was known . His mind maze had been a self-created dungeon that was heavily influenced by the Water Temple in Ocarina of Time with guards of all kinds- from dragons, hippogriffs and a basilisk from the Wizarding World to Griffins from Tortall, zombies from Resident Evil and even Pokémon. And it worked so it was this he taught to his minions that Cedric couldn't teach the suppression method- by the time of Leon's death, everyone in the Court could successfully defend their mind one way or another.

It was that maze that Haruka intended to recreate.

Entering his mindscape, Haruka found that in a room that was a mimic of his apartment. His memories of his current life was organized enough for having never actively organized them; his old childhood memories (five and under) were hidden in boxes in the closet, his happy memories were on his bed, his cooking/cleaning memories were in the kitchen area (fridge and sink), his knowledge (things learned at the Academy, the library or from Sensei) was on the table while his 'regular' memories were tucked under the table and hygiene memories were stuffed in the bathroom. All the memories of his previous lives were strewn all across the floor though.

With a sigh he set about recreating the 'water maze'.

The first 'level' was solely Haruka's memories, the safe and common house care memories lined the entrance hall with the 'tower' room memories of hygiene, in that room was an unlocker; a wood plate that read [The Will of ?] with a keyboard of wood hanging below it, a small sign before it said [Fill in the blank. You have three tries.] of course he left no mention that the guards- all currently just statues- would awaken if the first answer was wrong. Getting it correct made a door to the left of the tower appear along with a path, in that room was his regular memories and another unlocker that read [Those who abandon the mission are trash but ?] with the same sign as earlier- this made three more doors appear in the room; one to childhood, one to knowledge and one to happy memories.

The room that held happy memories had a level shifter that was like the unlocker and read [Never Tickle ?] though it was in silver plating with no sign.

Level two held Leon's memories and level three had Hana's while the basement level held the memories of his very first life- the one that gave him his knowledge of the different 'worlds' he was in. The basement's level changer read [Sing a song for Alfred F. Jones] only and it was infested with zombies that attacked anything that wasn't him . It was when he was entering the tower that he found a door that he hadn't created, it was a mesh of colors- like a rainbow had vomited paint all over it and then toddlers had smeared it all about- with a giant black keyhole at it's center and Haruka was reminded of Kingdom Hearts.

"What-?" Was all he managed before his hand, which he had raised curiously, touched the keyhole and it unlocked .

"She's an akita, what should we call her?" a woman's voice asked and a child's voice answered with, "She's white so we should call her Snowball!"

"Are you sure about this Haru-chan?" a woman's voice asked and a child's said, "Yeah! I'm gonna be a ninja Kaachan! Just you watch- I'll be one of the best!"

"You're a big sister Hana." A man's voice said and a child's huffed, "My otouto looks weird- like an alien."

"How did you get your vegetables on the ceiling, Leon?!" a woman's voice cried and a child's said, "I dunno. Magic-"

"I'm a wizard? Do I have to wear a pointy ha- I am Leon Harper, thanks for helping me Cedric- we're both in Hufflepuff! This means we're going to be best friends- the library doesn't have any books! Fine it doesn't have any good books- Hm? I asked my mom to send me some of my books from home, want to read one- I think we're going to need to learn how to use a duplication spell- we're book smugglers! We are the Ring, no that doesn't sound right. Note to Cedric- Tonks? Fine then you can't call me Leon- Name's Leon Harper, third year Hogwartian. Don't mention it- Blasphemy. Sacrilege. How could you say such a thing? I thought we were friends- Ring? I don't know what you're talking about. You may like to know that Harry, Neville and Hermione are joining the- Fine. How about the Fellowship of the Clams? Or the League of Extraordinary Clams? Fullmagic Clam Brotherhood? Dead Clams Society? Organization Clam? Our Own Hogwarts Clam Club- say nothing Cedric, Song of the Lioness is classic! - they go beyond the main Fantasy genre. There are plans on expanding but the Court of Clams- I already know you've had a Muggle Education, the question is- My mentor, Archie, took his lessons at night, the hour before dinner started so that's when I took them as a first year. I didn't like it- Don't be a half-chewed flapjack, Cedric. You're a King of Man at heart- Note to Cedric: Make a Bag of Holding and/or Hammer Space-..."

"Slytherin. Huh how'd that- It's different, certainly. I still have my own room but it's bigger with a bathroom connected and from what I can tell most just stay in their rooms- let's make a rock Cedric- Wanna visit the Forbidden Corridor- Let's learn how to conjure roosters- we need to learn the Patronus and Animagus Revealer spells- Of a kind I suppose. The point is that I knew these things were going to happen and, whatever action I took, have I ever done something that truly, seriously harmed you, Cedric Diggory- Frankly. I don't care. You are my friend and you are safe. But, if it will put you at ease, I know that none of the seventeen year olds- Funny thing that, I'm apparently a Black bastard-..."

"How is this going to work? I mean there's a lot- Forty-four, apparently, members of the Court of Clams which range from pets, magical creatures and graduates to a ghost, some portraits and a muggle- Alright people! We know that the Court has been entered and that we can't get out of it. We also know that we all have to, in some capacity, partake in the tasks. First thing! Team leaders are Fleur, Viktor and- So well have to something from them rather then fight if they specifically wanted nesting mothers. What we need now, is to divide up the teams- Well then. I chose Cedric- Oh don't be a partially digested steak, Cedric-..."

""Sorry we're late! You wouldn't believe the traffic- Now that The Dreaded is gone, time for us to begin! My name, as you should know from last year, is Leon Harper- My friend, assistant, moral compass and all around minder is Cedric Diggory but you may call him Cesar Hufferton XII- since barring the much loved Professor Lupin, may he find happiness wherever he is, the crop of DADA teacher you've got was rather...sucky with various performance issues- Now that you all know how things will be going, I won't be going easy so it's best to be aware, have your wands out and- Not the answer I was looking for but I'll give you five points simply because it amused me so. Nah, what you kittens- Since we're just about out of time, I want each of you to come up with three variations of the Shield Charm-..."

"Well, that's not at all vaguely creepy- That's insulting. It's not like I don't talk to others in school- though if the 'starting point' was me getting my letter then I guess it makes sense- 'Year 1 Supplies is a Sub Quest, to complete this quest you must get all your school supplies before September 1. Reward: +200 EXP, School Supplies, MP Unlock, M. Atk Unlock and Free Mode Unlock.' I wonder what Free Mode's like? Next- That is cruel and unusual punishment, Mother-mine. Who told my mom- Make a note- Draca! Retto anlis nariin ynna agga-!"

It was the last bit that really hit him and stuck- and the feeling he'd felt when he'd reversed summoned himself rose, swirling and probing before sweeping in a great tide of intent that pushed him out of his body. Haruka opened his eyes to find a purple box before him.

Congratulations! You have unlocked the Fourth Wall, earning access to Alternate Life skills! Nakamori Haruka has obtained the ability Gamer !

"Well," Haruka said, dismissing the box. "At least I don't have to learn the game system again."

A/N: Basically there are many versions of Leon Harper on my AO3 account. He was then reborn as Nakamori Haruka and, well, this.