Summary: "One would think that seeing the Pirate King walking in and out of a marine base is not a usual occurrence. Sadly the man had absolutely no self preservation and thought of visiting the Admiral in charge there, whenever he desired, as a task as banal as going for a walk."
This is the result of nobody stopping my crack-ish thoughts. Set like uhm 15 years after current canon time? Maybe more? Idk? Also Coby needs more love. Smol pink baby.
Fun fact: I have a whole document full of ideas that are stupid things turned serious. One Piece just makes it so easy for me to come up with crack ideas. I intend to write them all.

One would think that seeing the Pirate King walking in and out of a marine base is not a usual occurrence. Sadly the man had absolutely no self preservation and thought of visiting the Admiral in charge there, whenever he desired, as a task as banal as going for a walk.

"Hello," he greeted and sat down on the desk, pushing a stack of papers aside while he was at it. The white sheets all fell down, covering most of the ground in the office.

"You just threw down the new bounty posters," the Admiral commented without looking up from the report he was reading just now.

"Don't care."

"Your new one was in there too."

The black haired man tilted his head, looking honestly surprised because of the statement.

"I still get new ones?"

"We added 200.000 Beri, not that it would change much. The Government insisted on it."

"That's stupid."

"I know. Could you please give me the papers to your right?"

The Pirate King nodded and dutifully reached for the stack.

"Thanks."

"What are you reading about?"

"Increasing numbers of rookie pirates compared to the number of new marines," the uniformed man explained, still not looking up at the other.

"And what are your results?"

The man smiled while underlining two numbers in the text in front of him.

"We both do a good job recruiting people. I just hope this year's rookies won't be as troublesome as the last batch."

"Shishishi! I like them! Especially the Color Pirates! Their ship is really awesome and their captain is fun!"

"Of course you'd like them. They create chaos wherever they go, just like you!"

"Me creating chaos? Never!"

"Subchild Island. Last week."

The Pirate King pouted.

"Totally not my fault. Besides, the Fork Pirates caused too much terror and their Captain was a dick. And their name absolutely sucks. Also you were really cranky because of them last time we met."

"I was not."

"No?"

"... Maybe. Anyway, if you're so up to me not being cranky, then tell your grandfather to stop scaring off recruits with his surprise visits and bring me flowers next time you come."

"I'm not getting near my grandfather. Ever. He still manages to hit me. Ask my brother to do something about him."

Naturally, that was a lie. The Pirate King let his grandfather hit him. It was how they acted around each other when there wasn't too much stress and they were having fun. Garp The Fist still lectured the Pirate King about becoming a marine after all.

"Sabo is apparently too busy watering the Baby Den Den Mushis of your father."

"He still uses that excuse?" the Pirate King asked amused.

"Would you expect him to do different? Although it could be true this time. Sabo has taken a break from cleaning through the ranks for about two months now," the man mused.

"Ah yes, his daughter was born a few weeks ago. She's really cute!" The King said, all hype about his niece. She was Sabo's daughter after all and already looked like she would be a troublemaker, just like the rest of the family.

"You already visited?"

"Of course! She's my niece, you know. You haven't?"

"Didn't have the time."

He gasped and accusingly pointed at the taller man.

"Shame on you for not visiting your adorable niece. She's an honorable D. like Sabo. Barely a month old and already eating and doing stuff she shouldn't."

"What did they name her?"

"Lily! After a pretty flower and a brave warrior!" The black haired man laughed.

The Admiral smiled slightly. He remembered being shown one list of names after another whenever his blonde informant felt like visiting or actually exchanging information.

"I feel like everybody is settling down in a way, having a family or marry or something," the pink haired man then commented.

"Jealous?"

"Sometimes."

"You could have that too."

There was no ill meaning behind it. The Pirate King was well aware that it would be much more logical of the other to choose such a life over the one he had now. It would be less troublesome, less problematic, and less kind of illegal.

"I could never give you up, you royal idiot. Besides, I have an apprentice, which is basically the same as having a kid."

The older man laughed again, bringing happiness and comfort with him.

"Definitely the same. He's even fighting with his sibling."

That was news to the Admiral. He hadn't known his apprentice had a run in with the Straw Hat Pirates. That certainly hadn't been in the written or the spoken report his apprentice had given him.

"He is?"

"Of course, or where else did you think your kid got his black eye from?"

"Now that you say it, he did mention fighting a 'bad shit crazy monkey'," the man chuckled. "I had assumed he meant a literal monkey, there were quite a few uncivilized islands on his trip. Anyway, how is your cabin boy doing?"

"Acting just like the brat he is. Since Marco showed him his devil fruit powers, he's all about how cool a Zoan is. It's not faaaaiiiir! He's supposed to think mine is the best!" The world's strongest man complained just like a jealous little kid.

"He'll be your number one fanboy again soon enough."

"But he isn't right now!"

"And we all suffer with you. Now hush, I have paperwork to finish."

"You like your paperwork more than meee!" The King whined again. "You don't love me at all!"

His companion sighed. "You're acting childish again, Luffy. What's really going on?"

"Nothing! I just missed you! Why are you always mistrusting me, Coby?"

The Pirate King leant back, using the desk as a bed. His head hang off on one side, his legs on the other. His hat he had placed over the old scar in the middle of his chest. He was awfully silent, seemingly lost in thought.

"Luffy, what-"

"What if," the man interrupted Coby, "somebody made you an amazing offer? And I'm not talking about money or anything like that. An offer that could very much throw the world as you know it completely off its course. But accepting that offer would do so much good and you know everything would be better. Would you accept the offer?"

Their gazes crossed and something in Luffy's eyes stopped the marine from taking that question as just another random train of thought.

"I'm not sure", he started to speak after a few seconds of consideration. "But I quite like how my life is now. I wouldn't accept any offer that would change my life of how it is now. Besides you taught me to live without regrets-" The man's eyes widened. "You're not breaking up with me are you?!"

Luffy stared at Coby almost long enough for the man to think that was it, before he started to laugh at the marine. Yes, Coby was sure Luffy was laughing at him.

"As if I could ever break up with you, Coby. You're my Queen after all!" Luffy said and sat up again.

"Admiral," Coby replied dryly, a slight smile on his lips.

"Yes, yes, my Admiral." Luffy grinned. "You still have to catch me though."

"Oh, really?" Coby replied.

"Ye-"

Luffy never managed to finish answering as Coby grabbed his jacket to pull him in for a kiss. The pirate tasted like meat and freedom, a taste far more beloved by the marine than the one of his constant life savior, coffee.

"Caught you," he said when they let go of each other, not even trying to hide the smirk adoring his lips.

"Bitter," Luffy only commented, earning himself a half hearted glare.

Coby opened his mouth, a reply already on the tip of his tongue, when heavy knocking on his office door interrupted him.

"Admiral!" It sounded from the other side of the door, followed by even more knocking. "Monkey D. Luffy was seen here!"

Coby bit back a sarcastic "No, really?" and instead told them to wait another minute, he would come and help capture the pirate then and bring him to justice or something. Being forced to listen to boring old fashioned speeches about the right justice had at least taught Coby what to say to appear as the ever optimistic Admiral.

"I guess that's my call," Luffy spoke up again and jumped down from the desk. "We're gonna stay at Sabaody for another week though, so you better come visit!"

He gave Coby a quick peck on the lips and, with a wide smile plastered on his face, jumped out of the window. Slowly the marine got up from his chair, the panicked screams and sound of explosions all too familiar. A whole week at Sabaody, huh? Maybe he could get the week off. He was sure he could get Helmeppo to cover him.

How they got together in the first place? No idea. It was probably very embarrassing on Coby's side.
In the first draft I had a lot less text between the dialogue but that was too confusing and yes, I didn't put much text there on purpose.
Thanks for reading! I hope you liked it!