Calling it spaghetti is a travesty. Whatever is congealing on her plate right now is not edible.

But frankly, Undyne is of the opinion that she has probably pissed of this skeleton enough for the moment, so she decides not to mention it.

"It's pretty good for a first time, bro." The other one, Sans, says lowly, ungracefully stuffing his face. Undyne is both horrified at his lack of manners and envious of his lack of tastebuds. But at least it explains the crime on her plate.

"Really? I don't know..." Papyrus stabs his pasta with a fork and it stays upright like a flagpole. "I don't think it's supposed to be this consistency."

"Nah, it's great." His brother ensures, enforcing his point by upending an entire bottle of ketchup on his serving. Undyne secretly wishes he would choke in it already.

She ends up feeding most of it to the fluffy white dog under the table. When Papyrus asks her if she would like some more, she decides to politely decline.

"So, what did you come to talk to me about?" He asks levelly, while his hands are busy trying to scrub the burnt patches out of a pan. His voice sounds completely flat again, as if he's not really listening at all.

Undyne isn't even sure what she came to say anymore, stunned into silence by his off-handish demeanor. A few days ago, it was as if Papyrus wanted nothing more with his life then to become part of the royal guard. Like he'd murder a man just to get the opportunity. (Or in fact, he wouldn't, and wasn't that just the problem?)

And now, the entire house could start burning down around them and he wouldn't stop doing his dishes.

"What in the world is wrong with you?" She blurts out. Not the thing she wanted to say, but it might articulate her current feelings quite accurately.

The skeleton seems to ignore her, working on at the chore in front of him undisturbed. "What do you mean?"

Being ignored is not high on the list of things Undyne, Captain of the Royal Guard, puts up with. And if there's one thing she knows, it's that the ignorant attitude Papyrus is trying to pull off is completely fake too.

"I mean that you're acting like a complete weirdo, ok? I thought you wanted to join the royal guard?"

"I do." His movements slow minutely.

"Then why are you so... so-" Her voice dies away and Papyrus stops, raises his head and stares at her.

"Why am I so what?" His face seems hard somehow, resentful. "Childish? Naïve? Weak?"

Undyne swallows. "Why are you so accepting?"

He raises a brow at her but doesn't say anything.

"Why can't you fight like you mean it? Why do you just accept it when I turn you down for no valid reason? Why don't you say anything?"

He smiles and it's fraying at the edges, like a speech he has rehearsed over and over. "Because I don't want to."

Undyne grabs his arm and he flinches and stills, stops moving altogether. "You don't want to or you don't know how to?"

"I. Don't. Want. To." He says through clenched teeth. His empty sockets are staring at the foam in the sink, not at her. "It's just who I am."

There is something lurking beneath that statement, that Undyne isn't sure she ever wants to find out. "Ok..." She breathes, letting him go and watching as he returns to his dishes almost automatically, like he can't not do it. "Ok... but you still want to be in the guard right?"

Papyrus nods tightly, the faraway look is back on his face.

"Ok, then you're in."

He looks at her again, some surprise on his features. The hesitance of a person so accustomed to people lying to him, it has become an impulse. Somebody so used to being treated like a stupid child they have given up on trying to convince people otherwise. "Really?"

"Well, you'll have to do training first, of course." Undyne tries to relax her shoulders, tries to not feel that she is making a horrible mistake. "But if you satisfy me in that regard, then yes."

"And in the meantime?" He asks, fingers clenched around the towel. Undyne wonders if they're shaking.

"In the meantime, you would hold the position of sentry." Which means he can come report to her and Undyne wouldn't need to traverse Snowdin again. Killing two birds with one stone, so to speak.

Except of course, Papyrus would never kill anyone. He will never be able to officially join the royal guard.

Undyne looks at him and she can tell he knows. They both know.

But maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe it is pretending that at least in one aspect of his life, he can feel like a proper adult, that is enough for Papyrus.

"Alright." He says, laying down the cloth and turning towards her. The resignation on his face has dissipated and it's back to the carefully crafted mask of cheerfulness Undyne was convinced was his true expression when they just met.

She would almost wish she could go back to that misconception. Ignorance is bliss.

She shakes the thought off quickly and lays a hand on his shoulder again. This time he doesn't flinch. "Also, I'm going to teach you how to make a proper batch of spaghetti. Because that was horrible."

Papyrus laughs, honest to god laughs out loud, and Undyne can't help but grin too.

Some honesty might to them good.

And that's the end. Thanks for reading and commenting, everyone!

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