I spent most of the time in my head staring at the pair of red glowing slits. I knew who it was but I denied its existence for fear if I did, it'd open its two other pairs of eyes. It had not woken since that day, almost fifty-three years exactly.

I turned away from it, but a low chuckle reverberated around me. "Scared to admire me?" I tried to find a way out of this place, my darkened mind. But it was like someone had trapped me, it trapped me. So I stopped, allowed myself to calm before I finally acknowledged it.

A large, toothy grin emerged from the darkness. "There we go, I like to see your pretty face." The voice was masculine, deep and throaty. "You look so much like her, the hair, face, eyes…" I kept silent, knowing whom he was referring to. "Your mother was a… Beauty. So unlike the ones I kept in my possession." A cool brush along my arm, as if I perplexed him. "You have more?" I asked, my voice echoed in this dark chamber.

"Of course, a King needs his desires satisfied. And I like to have a bit of a change every now and then." He let a laugh at my growing scowl, those eyes became inline with mine as a shadowy body took shape, and he was roughly a foot taller than me. I could see a black crown that sat atop his head, woven like roots and in the middle of each apex sat a stone coloured like my eyes. "So you… bed my mother before?" I knew my mother was not of this world; she had a different scent and air around her. But it dawned on me just then that I had no idea where she officially came from.

"Yes, like I said, she was not like the others. She had children-" I cut him short, "Children?" The so-called King nodded, "Many, actually. They reside in my realm for now, but have forgotten who had birthed them."

An annoyed tug made me look around, even the King before me stepped back from me. But I brushed it off as just some part of me, so I looked back at him and cocked my head to the side. I studied the figure, nothing stood out except for that thorned crown. "I'd show you my true self but I'm just… a figment of your mind." He came back to me, quite close. I looked up; his smile was nothing but cruel and cold.

He reached up to place that night reflected hand to my cheek; the touch sent a horrid shiver through me. This hand had touched my mother, had gripped her… "These lips… So delicious, if I remember." His eyes moved down, "And this body… Such lovely curves, perfected and shaped to my liking…" He evaluated me, just like…

I shifted away from him, leaving his hand in mid air before it dropped to his side. "Don't touch me." I spat, wanting to cocoon myself in that dark power but I had emptied it now completely. "Oh don't be so pent up, you're mother wasn't like that. She jumped on me when she saw me naked."

"Don't talk about my mother like that. She is not like that." I did not believe this man, he was just a dark part of my head. "I can talk about my whores in any way I wish. I am King, they are nothing but holders of my children." I wanted to lash out, but my tired mind did not even dare lift a finger.

I had to solely depend on my words, "You are no King if you act such way. You should not be honoured with a crown if you whore along the way." I snapped, still hopelessly wanting to gather my power to throw this sick man out of my head.

"Say what you wish, but I've heard worse my little bird." That nickname made me feel… Odd. One other person called me such thing; I liked it then but now… I disliked it. "Get out of my head," I demanded, standing my ground.

"I would, but sadly, it's a no." He smiled. "And why is it a no, hm? Why can't you just go torment someone else!" I yelled, my hands turning into fists and my nails digging into my palms. "So angry, just like your mother. And childish, as well." I wanted to punch that sly smirk off his face, wanted to just kill him. Kill him for touching my mother, for haunting my dreams that caused me so much unease and pain.

"Calm, little bird. Calm. Being infuriated with a figment of your mind will just make you hate yourself and cause harm upon you." He was very much correct but I would not admit that aloud. "I am always right. I have not once been wrong which is why I have ruled since almost the dawn of time."

If I could not rid this parasite, maybe I could worm out some information at least. "You say you are king," I started, thinking over the questions I wished to ask, "From what… world? I never got to ask my mother who she was as I was only ten at the time."

He moved to sit down on a shadowy chair, bringing an ankle over his knee. Draping one arm over the back of the chair, the other lazily across his lap, he studied me. "Storytime, eh?" The arrogance that filtered off him made me bristle slightly. A chair appeared behind me but I stayed standing, staring at him hard. "Just answer the question," I said, unamused.

"Okay, okay. I am a King of Night, a King of Eternal Darkness. King of the Void." I waited silently for him to continue, he seems to like this, basking in his own selfishness. "Where I come from, your mother as well, the realm has no name. It is just a land of shadows and complete darkness. But there are great cities, big and small, filled with many occupants. Dark, vicious occupants." He ran a finger along his leg, and then plucked non-existent lint. "What makes us so remarkable is that we can sometimes appear harmless, normal like the mortals. We can be seen as an everyday person, but the ones with the gift of the Sight can see right through our mask."

"Gift of the Sight? What is that?" This time, I chose to sit, knowing this might be a long talk with this man. "I explained it, little bird, it gives the user the ability to see through a mask. Your mother had such ability, once but I took it away as she was using it to turn my own kind against me for some personal agenda she had." I snorted, "And most likely for good reasons." I muttered.

"I did treat her the best out of my whores-"

"Don't call her that, you prick." I gritted my teeth, hating that word. "Don't call me a prick." He shot back with a frown, but it didn't hide the maleness behind it. My lips curled up in a snarl but I said in a mocking tone, "Don't call her that, your grace." Shaking his head, he said with a sigh, "Better than anything, I guess. But fine, consort," I gave a short nod before he continued, "My consort was given the best treatment, I showered her in lavish goods, materials, jewels. Whatever she wanted, it was given to her. And in return, she allowed me to bed her every night." I still did not like the idea of her with this… Man. She was a lovely woman, she had loved father so much she'd even went as far as hunting down the lords of his camp… And returned with just their skins. I'd not forget that time.

"And what had happened to her when she came here, to Prythian?" Father had told me she was weak and almost dead from the freezing temperatures in the mountains. "Her personal agenda got her kicked from my castle, I had hoped she would die in the Void but I guess she had lived and found an exit and fell into your world." He plucked the crown from his head and stared longingly at the stones pressed into it, "I still miss her, though, I miss gazing into her eyes, admiring the colours that changed all the time." Red eyes met mine, and I could see a deep loneliness in them.

"The whor- I mean, my consorts I have now, warming my bed, they do not do justice. Not the immeasurable pleasure she had given to me. Claudia Lucetta… My Angel from Heaven." My mother's name pierced a little veil in me, grief rolled into me like a landslide, and I found myself struggling to keep my sobs at bay.

"You miss her, don't you?" The King asked me with such a solemn and gentle tone I had just lost it. I… I had never placed a single thought on that day when my parents had died brutally. I had been to caught up protecting my two siblings that I had no time then to grieve.

The King had moved and now knelt before me, his shadowy form shifted and the cool tendrils grasped my wrists and pulled them away. "I can say that she is at peace, especially with that Illyrian with her." I blinked away my tears, a shaky question, "You can… See her?" He nodded, "Can you speak to her? Can you take me to her?" I asked, now gripping his hands.

He looked a little abashed but shook his head, "I cannot. Remember, I am just a small part of your mind." I let go of his hands and looked away, then back at him once I regained a bit of myself, "You keep saying that, what makes you connected to me?" I held back the urge to move as his hand came over to rest where my heart was, "You are special Viviana. That something was what Claudia took from me and was then given to you." I shifted ever so slightly, waiting for him to continue. "Before I had thrown her into that portal to the Void, she had screamed some words at me, a tongue so ancient I barely recognised the complex words and before I knew it, something had… Detached from me and glowed brightly in her hand." He leant back and a gaping hole in his chest opened up to reveal… Nothing.

"You see this? This is where my power sat comfortably, untouched over many millenniums; it brought down many realms and broke cities. She had not taken a whole great of it, but enough that it could shatter a land into nothing." He looked up slowly, his gaze now blazing with great fury. "And it flows in your blood, slowly growing stronger and hungrier, wanting its lust for destruction to be fulfilled." His voice grew excited, almost hysterical, "And I should be so mad at her, for stealing that precious thing but seeing you now… Finally able to speak to you… Gods, Viviana, it brings me great pleasure that you could be like me. You could rule this city you call home, you could rule the world with it." He gripped my shoulders tightly; I winced a little at the pain.

"But… I am a Shadowsinger… I thought I was just a little more advanced in it…" It did raise questions to why I was able to do more than just hear and feel with my shadows. "Oh you indeed are a Shadowsinger, a hundred percent, but that part entwined with my power… It heightened its abilities ten fold… You can become shadows and darkness, you can open gates to other realms, and you can do wondrous things with it." He shook me a little so I could hold his gaze, "You can cross to my world, you can see my Kingdom, and you can access my armies… Whatever you wish, I shall grant it to you, Viviana." Seeing that wild desire in his eyes I knew he was a maniac who had sick ideas and wants.

So I shook off his grip and stood, turning away from the kneeling King. "As much as it sounds intriguing, King, it shall be a no," I said, my blood had gone so cold I couldn't feel my body. That much power in me… So much of it had gone off the leash in the past few weeks. And now that I had stirred the King awake… Gods above, what could he do now that I had finally acknowledged his presence?

His presence made me turn, his shadowed face now twisted in a merciless expression, his grin nothing but insanity, "Do not fear it, welcome that power with an embrace, Viviana. I'd hate it for it to just consume you." His had moved to cup my cheek; this time I had no control over my body. What was it with me getting caught in shit like this? "You are too beautiful and just clocking over sixty… And aren't you just a child in the Fae world? Hm… Immortal blood can do such amazing things, keeping the physical body forever youthful… You looking so young always gets me, nineteen looking… You could fool anyone, a careless young woman who secretly is a feisty beast that could kill with a blink of her eye." I was no beast and no killer so I slapped his hand away from my face.

"I am neither of those things. I'm…" What was I? What was I to others? A person in their midst? Just a thing to fill in the useless gaps?

'No, you never will be anything, Viviana. You mean something to me, you just don't see it. I hope so one day, I'll be here still.' That familiar voice brought a tingly sensation along my arms, a touch I had somehow known so well.

The King seemed to narrow his eyes at me before he looked around in the dark chamber as if trying to find the source of that voice. "Who was that?" He asked, his back to me. "I have no idea," I replied coolly. The voice had left a trail of light that I could see in front of me, the King saw it as well.

"Hnn…" He walked over to it and placed a hand on it then cried out as his hand burst into flames and he stumbled back trying to fend off the fire that started to consume him. "Fire!" He yelled whirling to me, 'Come, Viviana, run. Run to me.' That voice urged and I found my legs move to that strand of pulsating light. "You trickster, you bitch!" The King howled as he dashed for me, "I will not let you escape, I will not let you!" But because the flames had eaten his arm and depleted him, his body flickers as if the light was about to go out. He was too slow to grab me as I latched on to the light.

A roar, much like a wolf, chased me as I was dragged upwards to a blinding light. "You will regret this!" His voice floated after me and then everything fell away from me as I was now surrounded by beautiful flames, dancing and swirling around me and then I gasped and woke up.

All sensations, sounds, smells, tackled me and I was dead still on the soft bed before I recognised a face peering down at me. But it was not who I hoped it is.

Violet eyes twinkled with mild amusement then another pair, grey-blue eyes held wonder and slight fear. I blinked and shifted back, wondering why the hell Feyre and Rhys was here.

But then I took in the grand room, stoned walls with Night Court type furniture strewn about. Even the bed, the sheets silken and like the night sky, little-woven stars peppered the thick duvet. The bed was massive and made for wings, like mine back at home. It had four posts with the curtains tied back. To the very far left, was an open balcony, again, magic keeps the coldness out and the warmth in.

"You seem to be fighting with whatever you were dreaming about." Rhys drawled beside me, he lounged back in a chair holding a glass what smelt like alcohol. He wore his usual attire, a jacket with embroidered silver edgings and a dark shirt and matching pants. Feyre stood there with a tray of steaming tea. She wore just pants and a loose fitting peach jumper. Her golden brown hair unbound and flowed to her waist, she had allowed it to grow out and it suited her. "Dream? It felt more real than a dream…" I could still hear the Kings cries, a shudder ran through me. "Yes. You were crying the one moment then you were struggling with the sheets. I was to wake you with this…" She held the tray before it just disappeared, "Seems like I don't, now that you are awake." She sat on the bed, hands clasped in her lap.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, being in that dream felt like an entire lifetime had passed. "It's still the same day, only two hours before midnight," Rhys replied, sitting up a little and finishing his drink. "Really? Wow, feels like it's been days." I rubbed my head a little and then wondered where Lucien was, so I asked, "Where's Lucien?"

"He has left." Feyre replied before Rhys could, "About three hours ago, back to the Spring Court." I frowned, my shoulders sagging a little. "Oh," I said dolefully, picking at the seam along the duvet, "I wanted to see him again, to see how he was," I remembered him looking pale before he had taken me here, and he had seemed to be a little shaky. "He's fine, he stayed here for a while before some issue got him to leave. Which reminds me…" Rhys pulled out a letter from his jacket, handing it to me, "He sent this not too long ago. I promise you I have not read it." Holding the paper in my hand, it felt thick.

I examined the red seal, taking Rhys' words before I broke it. A second letter had fallen out and looked a bit older and worn out, I set it aside and opened the first one and looked up at Feyre, "You can read it to yourself if you wish."

I nodded and read out aloud instead, "Dear Vi," My heart gave a little jump and my skin tingled in a good way, "I am sorry I had to leave, I wish I could've stayed with you until you woke. It unnerved me when you looked so still as if the Mother had finally claimed you. Once you get this, please write back to me so it can ease my thoughts that you are well." I blushed darkly at his words, feeling the utmost fear and worry coming from the words he had written so beautifully. I continued, "Though, this letter holds another important matter. Not too long ago, Elain had come in holding a letter with your name on it. I apologise in advance but I did read it, and could not believe what it was. Enclosed I sent the letter to you, your sister Azariah written explaining why she ran away." It ended and I set the paper down slowly.

I looked at the worn out paper and took it in my hands as if it was the most precious thing in the entire world. Opening it, it was not even half a page. I took in a deep breath, readying myself before I started, "Viviana. I am deeply sorry for leaving in such a hurry and not explaining why. I want you to know that I am safe and I am well. Please, please don't come looking for me I am very satisfied where I live and the man I am with… It's everything I could ask for. Tamlin has provided me with everything I want," Feyre had gone still, her eyes shadowed as she watched me. Rhys had even become much more alert, but I did not care. What Azariah had said… I continued, my voice shaking, "All my needs are fulfilled to the brim. I think I am the happiest person ever, thanks to him. And before I end this, tell Devyn I am sorry I had left him. Tell him I'll come see him soon, once you stop your crazed hunt for me. And even if you do find me, I will not go home no matter what you do." And that was it; it ended with her name at the bottom of the page.

"Tamlin," I said slowly, the name ringing a bell, "He's the one that had conspired with the King half a century ago, is that correct?" Feyre nodded. I looked back at the letter, feeling the words but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. "And he shouldn't be in the city, either. I must-" Rhys was cut off with a wave of Feyre's hand. "I don't think he can even come here. You know he is banished and is left to live out his days alone somewhere in the deepest part of the Spring Court." Feyre looked at me, "What do you make of this?"

I mulled over ideas and reasons to why, worrying my lip I folded the paper and set it on the bedside table. "I have a feeling she met him outside of Velaris. Maybe not in your Court but…" I trailed off, thinking carefully, "I know some of her friends are able to winnow great distances. And she does tend to visit the other Courts sometimes, and attend their parties. So, whatever major event that had happened the last was probably when she met him." I concluded.

Feyre and Rhys stared at each other, their silent communication flowing between them. I looked away, staring out at the night sky I could see. The letter was unkind, the disregard she had for me… Like a string had detached from me, I laughed. Not a single emotion behind it as I shook my head, "Viviana?" Feyre's concerned voice made me raise my head to look at her, "What is it?"

"Nothing. I'm just… I don't know, really. Everything I have done for her, to make her comfortable… What a presumptuous little bitch she is. Devyn is definitely not going to like this, he's going to most likely beg me to get her back or find her himself." I said, giggles still coming from me.

"Would you like us to find her?" Rhys asked, looking as if he would. "No," I said, smiling, "No. No, she can stay. I don't care now. If she finds comfort in him, so be it. If he gives her what she wants, so be it. If she loves him, so be it. She's old enough now, her life, her choice. But, I'd like to send a message to her. I know roughly where she is." I looked at Rhys, sadness flickered his eyes but a tray with papers and a quill appeared.

I took it and stared at the paper, "Are you sure you wish to do this?" Feyre said, "You might regret it afterwards. Maybe sleep on it, make a decision in the morning." But I already made a decision, and I was ready. "I am very sure, Feyre. If she has the audacity to do this… I will not stop it." So I wrote the letter and sent it off to her hoping she would care to actually read it.

"I don't want to sound rude… but, um, can I be left alone?" I felt dead inside, empty to say the least. Rhys nodded, "See you in the morning then." He said before he headed to the door. Feyre came closer and placed a hand over mine, "Don't think that what you've done was a waste, Viviana. You've done amazing things despite what has happened, even today the events that unfolded… Some Fae would've curled up and allowed the horror eat them away." She gave me an encouraging smile, "Look at the positives, you've kept Az and Devyn alive."

"Thank you." I smiled at her as she removed her hand and stood, "You're most welcome. We'll talk in the morning." With that, she left and I was alone to my own devices. The tray still had a piece of paper and I decided why not try and send a letter to the High Lord, I did recognise his scent so maybe that could help with the delivery. I scribbled a quick thank you and appreciation of his worry over me before the paper turned to ash and was blown away by some silent wind. I got out of bed and headed to the balcony, ignoring the chill of the night against my bare legs and bare arms.

"Purple looks nice on you." I jumped at the voice of Nate. I turned to see he was leaning against the wall in the shadows. Nate had taken a more comfort look rather than his warrior attire he usually waltzed around in. A loose shirt tucked in leather pants, which revealed those muscular legs. I pulled my gaze back up to meet his eyes, sea-green eyes bright under the illumination of the lamps hanging on the balcony rail. The light brought out the bronze tone of his skin and the gold highlights in his thick, windswept hair.

"Oh, thank you," I said, looking down at the knee-length nightdress, the hem had lace right along with it and matched the neckline as well. Nate came closer now; I could feel the heat coming from him. He reached up to touch my cheek, where the Fae had dragged the blade down; he followed it to the neckline of the dress with his finger. The touch was oddly… Gentle, but it brought up the feeling of the sharp, stinging pain.

Nate pulled his hand back, seemingly noticing my pent up state. "Sorry, I just… Can't believe that thing did this to you. You couldn't fight back?" He asked as I turned to stare out towards Velaris. Low cloud obscured the view but I could still see the gold lights, "No. It was like… He prevented me, an invisible hand holding my body down." I closed my eyes tightly, feeling those icky hands touching my skin. I let out a shuddering breath, "Before you all came… He was… He ripped apart my jumper, sat between my legs… He was asking me whether you had taken me yet and he seemed so delighted you didn't…" The flash of his eyes danced before my eyelids, the livid need and sick lust, and I knew what he wanted to do. Nate had gone dead still, eyes trained on the clouds before us, "He was… Going to rape me Nate… He was going to fuck me… But in a painful way… I could see it in his body, the way he looked at me. Gods, I can't even imagine-" Nate had touched my shoulder so I could look at him.

But instead, I quickly moved away, "Don't touch me," I said, eyes wide with horror. "Don't touch me like that." And remembering what Nate had said a week or so ago… A choke or a gasp came from me, and a wave of nausea caused me to double over. I hugged my stomach as a lightning pain shot through me until I started to cough.

And coughed.

And coughed.

A metallic taste made me open my eyes to see I had vomited… Blood. So much of it and I retched again, more blood dripping from my mouth. "I did say you would regret this." The King's voice sounded through my mind, his laughter following after it. Nate was yelling and holding me upright otherwise, I'd have landed on my side.

Then everything… Stopped. Like a barrier was thrown up and all the nastiness was sucked out of me. I leant heavily against Nate who was yelling still until Feyre had reappeared, looking dishevelled with Rhys behind her who was hastily buttoning up his shirt.

"What happened?" She knelt down and lifted up my face, examining it. I could only see blur through my half closed eyes. The coughing had knocked the breath out of me. "I don't know, we were just talking and she suddenly fell and coughed up blood." Which was now gone, even the splash back on me.

"Viviana, look at me." She gave me a gentle tap on the cheek to. "Come, we must take her to a healer, she looks pale." I grabbed her arm quickly before she stood, she paused, "N-No… I just need… Water." I gasped, my throat dry.

"You do not look well-" I cut her off again, "Water. That's all I need." I said a little harsher. But Feyre nodded tight-lipped and a glass of water had appeared in her hand, I took it from her and drank.

I don't know how many but my body seemed to recover, the feeling of throwing up eased once I was back in bed. Warm and safe, for now, at least. Nate gave thanks to them, Feyre a little less inclined to leave only a tug from Rhys set her moving.

I rested on my side, facing towards the balcony, Nate settled in the empty spot beside me. He held out one arm to indicate I could get closer, which I did and sighed softly and somewhat grateful for that arm gently placed over my hip. He made small shapes along the small of my back, which lulled me into a sleepy state.

As much as I didn't want him to touch me, I couldn't bring myself to argue with him. It was a while since I slept with him, in bed and this close. But right now, time to sleep. And I prayed to the Cauldron I would not be trapped in that dark chamber with the smirking King.

No dark chamber, no red eyes, no King. As if that barrier had kept him out, whatever it was I sent my thanks as I woke to feel a bit drained. "Good morning, Silvy." A heavy, sleepy voice rumbled through me and I looked up to see Nate gazing down at me with a lopsided smile. "Mmm," I murmured, snuggling into his chest, "Morning." His fingers idly drew circles near my hip, my body arching into him a bit.

"How was your sleep?" He asked, nuzzling my nose so he could plant a kiss on my lips, "Fine." I replied and instantly lost myself into the deep kiss he started. He pulled me on top of him, his hands resting on my waist and my fingers entangled in his hair. His tongue delved into my mouth, rolling over mine and rubbing against the walls of my mouth.

A thing, he'd do, to indicate what it could do to other places. A small noise came from me, he replied with his hands going beneath my nightdress. Those hands were like fire against my cold skin, the want of being touched rose.

And was followed by something I did not expect.

The feeling of being tied down, my little body broken and beaten and bleeding in places I didn't think should bleed. Not by force, in a matter of fact. A damp cloth obscured my vision; the smell of mould and moisture in the air did not help either. Then I heard the low, male laughter that made my body jolt with fear. And then pain exploded between my legs-

I gasped and broke away from Nate, his hands dropping from beneath my nightdress as he sat up. "What's wrong?" He grabbed my wrists to pull them away from my face but I just cried out and slapped him across the face before I scrambled off the bed and onto the floor.

I was sobbing and shaking, dragging myself slowly away from the bed. It groaned at Nate's weight as he sat at the edge, I could feel his scrutinising gaze on my bare back. "What the hell is wrong with you?" He asked in an edged tone.

I didn't answer him, I couldn't. The pain lingered between my legs, from the feeling of his heat that was still evident in his pants. "I asked you something," he stood and made for me, "Answer me." His voice was devoid of anything, cold, chilling terror was the only thing that laced it. I made a sound like a cry and a sob as I held my arm up in defence, to keep him away and his outstretched hand.

He snorted and shook his head, "Why do I…" He turned around then spotted something on the bedside table. His frown turned to something I could not explain, a mixture of maybe of anger and dislike.

I saw my name written so delicately on the paper, the other side had the seal of the Spring Court. In one swift movement, the seal broke and Nate read the contents within. His face became shadowed and unreadable. My heart was thundering in my chest as I slowly go to my feet, holding the backrest of the chair.

"What is this?" He waved the paper in the air and then shoved it to me. I took it with a shaky hand and read it, I fought back a blush. Lucien had written how he sensed my panic and the pain and wanted to know if I was fine and that… That I was welcomed to visit him whenever I wished or if I got lonely. "Just a letter, Nate. Someone being concerned for my well being." I knew arguing with Nate was toeing the line, and right now seeing that silent anger in his eyes, I wasn't sure if I had crossed it or not.

"Am I not looking after it enough?" He said it with enough bite it made me wince. "We are not having this argument again, Nate," I said sternly, and as strong as I could muster. I turned away from him to go to the giant armoire only to be grabbed and yanked back roughly.

I yelped at the pain as I stared into his eyes, "Am I not good enough for you?" He asked gently, yet his grip stayed like iron. "I don't want to argue with you-" I tried to twist out of his grip; he shook me to keep still. "Answer the damn question, Silvy." His eyes had gone darker, nothing seemed… Normal about him. "You are barely around, Nate." I started, "You get easily annoyed if I am mildly interested in something you are not."

"What of all the times I soothed you when you had nightmares?" He shot back. "That's one thing. But when you call for help and I accept it you get mad and try to chase that person off. Make up your mind." Again I tried to pull away, no use.

"That's because you allow them to touch you, to let them hold you." This was getting out of hand and I again tried to pry his hand off. "There's a difference from hugging someone who you know as a friend and their tits being touched in an arousal manner." I snarled at him, holding his intense gaze.

"Of course, when his hands were placed conveniently before your own. I saw you two, tangled in each other, touching, only mere inches away from kissing." He finished with a pain filled whisper, "What is it that he makes you smile? You don't smile like that when I'm around." He took my face in his hands, to rough for my liking.

"You are too overpowering Nate… You are too forceful." I replied equally quiet, seeing the tears threatening to fall down his face. "You… You scare me sometimes. Honestly." I said and his hands instantly loosened from my face before he fell on his knees. He gripped my hips and looked up at me, his eyes bright with anguish, his wings dropping to the floor.

"Why didn't you tell me this sooner?" His voice cracked as silent tears fell down those tanned cheeks, "You don't listen. And I'm… Afraid you might snap at me, hurt me like you sometimes do." I rubbed my wrist where a red welt was, holding it to my chest.

"Oh, gods… I'm so sorry Silvy… I'm so sorry…" He pressed his face into my stomach, crying as he held onto me. "Please forgive me… Please… I'll do anything to win your heart back… Anything." Begging. That's what he was doing, begging for me.

And it broke me a little, seeing him so desperate and small. I reached down to run my fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his gazing face. "I'll start forgiving you when you clean up your act. When you stop being so tenacious when I am around others. You need to trust in me, and when you do that, then I'll forgive you." I said and he nodded wildly as if each word I had said was something ethereal to him.

He stood and leant in to kiss me, I backed up, "Not yet. I'm still angry at you for overreacting." He frowned, "But you can give me a kiss on the cheek." I quickly recovered and he instantly did so, "Better than nothing. Can I at least help you dress?" He asked. I mulled over it and shrugged a little, "Fine. But no touching in an arousal manner." I ordered as I opened the armoire to find five dresses all so elegant and Night Court like.

A note had been left by Feyre, 'Keep these, as much as you will say no. It's a gift.' They all were made to my taste, modest and not too much clingy material. I pulled out the one with dark grey colour; velvet material created intricate patterns from the hem of the gown and stopped beneath where the bodice was. Nate unbuttoned the buttons on the back and I stripped and got into the gown. The sleeves, that came off the shoulder, opened up at my wrists and loosely flowed past my fingers. The rest of the gowns simply disappeared, as if accepting this gown was accepting her gift.

"Looks really nice on you," Nate said behind me as he buttoned the gown back up. I touched the beading along the neckline that cut across just beneath my collarbones. "Thank you." I looked at myself in the mirror as I combed my hair. Once done we both headed up to the main room where the socialising, training and other things happened.

Entering it, I was surrounded by the sounds of swords clashing and mocking laughter. Feyre, who was grinning wickedly was tantalising Rhys. Cassian and Azriel kept their faces in pure concentration. Seeing Cassian's wings… I stiffened at the mangled state. It had been healed, but he could no longer use them for flight. I had not known why he kept them, but I figured the process of cutting them off would be… Soul breaking.

I looked away just as Rhys was knocked onto his ass, Feyre beaming with triumphant, "Two points to me, Rhys zero." He rolled his eyes and looked over at us, getting up. "What a coincidence I get bullied and you two show up." He frowned as Feyre pinched his cheek before kissing him, "Don't be so sad that I hurt your ego, Rhys." He couldn't help but chuckle as Feyre made a gesture for Nate to have a turn.

He kissed my head before he walked to the High Lord before he started his sparring. Feyre grabbed a towel nearby as we made our way to the couches. "Breakfast will be served soon after the men blow off their steam." Feyre lounged back on the couch, spreading across it like a cat.

I had taken an apple from the table and sat in the single seater, holding the fruit in my lap. I watched in silent admiration at the four of them, all created by strength and long-term hardships in the camps. "So… brutal." I murmured as I jumped a little from Cassian's sword clashing with Azriel's, terrifyingly close to his neck.

"But they are the best when fighting." I looked back at Feyre, her eyes trained on Rhys' bare upper torso. Lingering desire in her eyes told me what she was up to last night. "Will I have to fight like that?" I asked, bringing her attention back. "I had to, Cassian taught me. The basic moves before we added on and on until I was perfectly skilled."

A grunt then Azriel fell to the ground, the point of the sword angled towards his neck. I gasped softly as I stared back at the apple in my hands, "I don't think I'll be able to handle it." I admitted softly, "The… training. I don't even think I could bring myself to kill someone. I get sad if I step on a flower." I looked at my hands, slender and soft palms, not made to wield a sword.

"It's not a matter of learning to kill Viviana. It's a matter of learning how to control, how to defend yourself from harm," I looked into her eyes, seeing the truth behind them, seeing the pain and hell she had gone through and how the skills she got had helped her to survive. "Learn how to keep yourself safe and others. You know that." She finished, I knew what she meant. As much as I wanted to yell at her, to not accuse of my lack of dominion over my magic… She was correct. I had always denied my weakness, scared for people to look down upon me.

"While you were dreaming, you released an immense amount of power. I felt it press around me… I had almost passed out. Especially Az, he looked shaken up and his shadows seemed wild." The apple did not look appealing to me anymore but I still held onto it, the chill of the King's grip making me tremble a little. "You are powerful, very much so. You just need to master it, not let it go off the leash. Azriel is still very much keen on helping you, and with the events lately…" Feyre waited for my response, her grey-blue eyes ever so slightly wandering back to Rhys.

The boys still fought, and now with the new sense of eagerness that filled me, the fighting no longer looked scary. Control. That was all I ever wanted, to keep this blasted power down instead of boiling over.

"Okay," I said, nodding. "Okay, what?" She repeated, slightly puzzled. "Okay to the training. I want to do it, I want to learn to fight." Feyre's eyebrows rose, shock mixed with excitement was expressed, "Oh? Have I finally convinced you?" I nodded in response, and before I could say anything else a letter appeared on the coffee table.

"Have you figured how to send a letter to Lucien?" Feyre smirked lightly as she took it and handed it to me. I blushed brightly as I opened it, reading the contents:

Dear Vi,

I'm guessing you are well right now; you don't seem to be panicking or fighting. Or dead. I feel you might be busy as of now which is why I have not received a letter from you.

It has taken a lot of courage and will to send this particular letter and Elain watching me write this.

Tonight, I beg the Cauldron you are not busy, I'd like you to come to the Spring Court and dine with me just after sundown. If you must, you are welcome to stay the night.

Please, it would be a pleasure to dine with a beautiful woman such as yourself.

Lucien.

Beautiful woman. I reread it again, just that line, over and over. My face grew hotter every time as I folded it up quickly. "What did he say?" Feyre asked, resting her cheek on her fist. I gulped a little, "He um… He asked for me to have dinner with him tonight."

"I didn't think a simple dinner would make a woman go red. Unless he means something else." I snorted as I shook my head, staying red-faced, "No! Feyre!" I cried, embarrassed at her words. She laughed at my bashful state, "I am only teasing." She couldn't contain her giggles, smile still wide. But it soon softened as she said, "You should go. He doesn't get many guests or makes a lot of friends, and he needs a bit of a break from doing so many paperwork."

I looked over at Nate, now sparring with Cassian. I had given him a chance to repent for his attitude and actions to me, and now, Lucien subtly begging me to dine with him… I couldn't. As much as my heart tightened at the fact I was going to decline- "It's just a dinner, Viviana. You also need a bit of luxury after what has happened."

"But, I promised Nate I was going to allow him to fix himself up," I replied, feeling a little jittery. "You can do that, that's fine. But you and Lucien are just friends, having dinner together. It should not bother him." Feyre told me, sitting up now. The boys began to finish their training for this morning, "I guess you are right." I said as we both stood.

"If you are that worried, I can talk to him, if you want." I declined, saying, "No, I'll tell him myself." She only nodded as we headed to the table, now suddenly filled with food. Morrigan had appeared, looking bright and cheerful as she sat across from Az, a small smile on his face.

"Good morning." She beamed as replies followed after. "How is the planning going?" Rhys asked beside Feyre, "Very good. Almost done." She replied, digging in already.

"One month to go." Rhys murmured beside Feyre's ear, she kicked him beneath the table. I lightly laughed as I filled my plate. "I also overheard you two speaking about someone training." Rhys looked gleeful, "I'm proud you accepted. We start tomorrow morning, then." I slightly gawked at him, "Already?" I asked, Nate's hand was atop mine.

"Of course, unless you wish to start today?" He suggested. "No! No, tomorrow will be fine." Rhys grinned as everyone fell into light conversation. Azriel who was beside me gave me a quick rundown of tomorrow's plans.

"I'm going to be tested?" I asked him, the blue siphons atop his hands flickered. "Yes, I'd like to know what you could do. You are the first Shadowsinger to have such… Unique abilities."

"But I barely know what I can do, save for using my abilities in small amounts such as hearing for long distances or using them to restrain others." I set my fork down, now finished with my plate.

"That's the whole point in this, see what you can do before we establish the main strengths before delving further." Azriel explained, "And while you are learning how to fight with either Cassian or Nate, I'll look into equipping you with siphons." Rhys added after Azriel. Again, the idea of having those stones on me… I could only nod, knowing I had to accept this. No going back now, I thought.

Breakfast ended on a nice note, I bid farewell to the Court of Dreams as I was hoisted in Nate's arms, his arm securely holding my wings. "Fly normal please, I'd like my dress to be intact." I said to him and he rolled his eyes, "Don't be such a princess." He huffed before jumping off the edge and gliding downwards towards the waking city.

The gilded sun was now warming the city, chasing away the light fog that coated the city. Shop owners began their ritual of opening cafes and setting out their wares. The Palaces were already buzzing with life, I wondered how Brea was doing without me helping her with the shop.

As Nate landed in front of the estate, I could only feel dread at the thought of explaining to my friends on what happened. I turned to Nate, "I'd like to keep what happened to ourselves. I don't want them to worry too much." I said, taking his hand and lacing my fingers in his. "What do we say then?" He said, holding my hand tightly.

"We say we just decided to go and visit Feyre and Rhys, to see if they had any more information on Azariah and that we stayed the night because… We had to wait for the information." I did not like lying to my friends; we based our relationships on trust and utmost love. We all had issues from the past that still haunted us, and I was lucky enough to be accepted by them when I first came here.

Nate then said, "What did happen to your sister?" We started to walk up the pathway to the doors, "It'll be explained when I get inside." I simply said.

Opening the grand doors and stepping inside, warmth cuddled me instantly. I could hear voices coming from the dining room and then the voices hushed until someone came to the door and opened them. Nishka's face peered through the doors, a suspicious expression turned to joy as she flung them right open and made for me. "Vivie!" She squealed and hugged me very tightly.

I was being crushed by her, and being shaken about. She finally let me go, "Oh, Mother! Where have you been?" She took my hands in hers as she stared wide-eyed at me. "Let's go sit, I'll explain to everyone there." She took my hand and dragged me to the room, Nate giving me a cheeky grin as I was then forced to sit.

All my friends sat there, staring at me. They all looked… A bit hollow in the face. There eyes dull with… Nothing. "You must explain to us now why you constantly disappear, especially yesterday." Nishka was perched at the edge of her seat, bustling with questions.

"What of Azariah?" Devyn asked, looking deathly pale and black circles under his eyes. He did not look well. I held his gaze, bloodshot from crying mostly. How could I explain? How could I tell him that she was not returning?

"What. Happened. To. Azariah?" Devyn asked more hard, desperation in his voice. "Is she… Is she dead?" Another question when I didn't answer. "No, she's alive." I finally said, "Alive and well." His eyes narrowed down at me, "Where the hell is she then? Explain, Viviana, explain."

So I did. I explained to him about the letter she had sent to me, and what I had said back. "Give me this letter." Was his demand. Nate had taken the letter this morning and handed it to him. Devyn read over the words.

"And you didn't console in me to whether I wanted her back? Why must it all evolve around you? You are to get her back. This instant." He threw the letter down, glaring at me. Devyn never usually gave commands or anything at all. Seeing him now, this wild, broken young man, I regretted somewhat my decision.

No, it was Azariah's decision; I was simply following what she wanted. "That cannot happen," I said and Devyn stood up, the chair screaming against the wooden floor. "Oh yes, it will! I want her back! I want her back!"

This time it was I that stood, throwing back equal anger, "I will not! She does not want to come back, have you not read what she said?"

"Yes I have, and I don't give a shit what she says. She lives here, she belongs here, she does not belong to some fucking traitor in the forest. She belongs to me." Devyn roared, and I saw that similar darkness flash in his eyes, one I knew who it belonged to.

My hands, now in fists, trembled with the power that woke up again, the darkness that flowed in my veins called for me to destroy. To seek revenge. To seek utter chaos. To claim. The air in the room became heavy, and my friends seemed to have a hard time getting out of their chairs. They all sank to the floors, crawling away from Devyn and me.

"While you were out, wasting time as Azariah cowers in that man's arms, I have… Unlocked something. Something given to me." Pure shadows licked at his throat, his arms, his chest. His entire body. My very own did the same, but created a shield around me, sensing the shift in Devyn.

"Terrifying at first, but a voice told me I had such great powers. Unlike anything. And told me to welcome it."

'Do not fear it, welcome that power with an embrace, Viviana.' And that's when I started to move; I jumped over the table and tackled Devyn to the ground as much as it was awkward in a gown. We tumbled and we fought, animal-like snarl ripped through our throats as he slashed across my face, slicing my skin.

Blood, black blood, coloured the tips of his fingers. He stared at it and I used that distraction to 'jump' into his mind. I threw all my strength at the source of the darkness that tainted him; the King's cry was snuffed out as I used that flame in me to create a barrier around Devyn's mind.

And when I came back out he was asleep, no longer that crazy beast he was. The weight of the magic in the room subsided and everyone stood and silently stared at me. No one moved a muscle, no dared to make a move to me.

My shadows still lingered around me and with a silent command they left. Rahuel was the one to make a move, he showed no fear but did not make eye contact with me as I got of Devyn and he picked him up with ease.

Nate was dead still, his face leaked of colour. I slowly stood, and the dark twins stepped away from me. Even Raella. And Nishka, and Aida. 'You haven't told them, have you?' The King's voice crooned in the dark corners of my head.

They just stared at me as if I was a… 'Monster.' The King finished for me. I backed up before I left the room, so quickly I didn't notice I was in my room sobbing in the adjoining bathroom. My gown was in ruins, rips and tears. What a waste, what a waste of gown for a monster like me.

Nate didn't come to my room after that.

I still got ready for the dinner with Lucien. Still, no one came to my room. I was glad as I slipped on the gown. It was like the grey gown I wore, instead, it was midnight blue. It had a plunging V neckline with an illusion like material that held it together. Again, the gown did not hug my body but fell past my waist to the floor. Draping from the straps and down my arm was a soft transparent material much like chiffon. The entire piece had pearls and diamonds sewn to look like flowers and vines.

A soft knock came at my door and I stilled, "Yes?" I called. "It's me," Brea's voice answered as she came in and closed the door behind her. "What are you doing?" She asked me instead of 'how are you'. I answered flatly, "Getting ready."

"For what?" She came closer, "Dinner." Brea went silent. "Viviana-" she started, that hint of affliction, "Don't start. If you didn't stare at me like I was some freak, I'd allow you to speak. Don't come in here and apologise. I should've said something, yes I know. But why should I when it wasn't really affecting me then? You all had your own problems to deal with, why should I bother you all with more shit." I snapped, the candle on my table flickered as my anger rose again.

"You didn't look at me, though." She said quietly, but there was no scrutiny or anything evident in her tone. "You looked at the rest of them, and when you left I told them all off for reacting in such manner. I told them what kind of friend's stares at their own friend with such horror. I told them they are to apologise to you, to accept everything that makes you no matter what." Brea had come behind me to finish the lace of my bodice; she then sat me down on the chair and began to make my hair look pretty.

"No, you should not ask them to apologise to me. They should do it themselves." Brea had finished with the half up and the half down style, soft curls sitting just above my shoulders. I looked at the empty spot at the hollow of my throat, wanting the comfort of my mother's necklace.

Brea applied very little makeup, keeping it all natural. She tried to hide the harsh scar now bright pink on my pale cheek. Once done I stood and she helped me with the matching coloured floor-length cloak. My wings sat snugly beneath it; to strangers, they would not know I had them.

"How is Devyn?" I finally asked as we made to the foyer. "Sleeping. Looks much better than last night." I knew Brea wanted to ask what truly happened but she stayed silent as I stopped atop the stairs. Below were my friends, looking a little helpless and distraught.

I scowled but Brea nudged me in the arm, "No. I am true to my words. Show me that you are truly sorry, and then I shall explain my reasons for hiding my magic. I am sick of people stepping over me once they see my other side." With that, I walked down the stairs and brushed past them ignoring their stares.

Brea helplessly followed, took my arm and we were gone. She winnowed me right in the front glass doors of the Spring Court's manor. A male servant was waiting there, smiling softly at me. I turned to Brea who still looked deeply saddened, "I'll see you whenever." I said and she gave me a gentle hug before she was gone.

"My Lady," The servant called and I turned to him, "Come, and let me take you inside." I followed the Fae into the… I was at a loss for the manor. I had not been here, but Feyre had explained to me that Elain had turned the place completely different. The walls had creeping plants with sprouting flowers of all sorts, the sweeping staircase that leads to the second level had more of the green flora clinging to the balustrade.

The paintings, mostly done by Feyre, were lined with flowers. Flowers, flowers, flowers. But with the enormous amount, my senses were not attacked by the smells. Only a gentle wave. The servant brought me through open double doors. The room was a study, or an open plan one. The walls beside the doors I walked through were lined with bookshelves stuffed with old tomes. A large desk sat in the middle with a high back chair. I could see papers that littered the desk but was neatly sorted.

Behind that desk, three open arches, with glass windows that lined the rest of the room, that lead to an open patio that dropped off into the gardens. And in the middle of the patio was a large table enough for four people to sit at only it had two.

A large candelabra sat in the middle, the glowing candles bright in the growing dark. The male servant had left me standing before the table, no food was atop it. I made for the chair but a voice stopped me, "Hold on, isn't it supposed to be the male to who pulls out a chair for the woman?" I turned to see Lucien standing in the middle archway, leaning against the stone pillar.

He wore a dark chocolate brown velvet jacket, with gold seams lining the edgings of the collar and the turned up sleeves. The silver buttons gleamed in the candlelight as he made his way down. A deep blood red scarf was tucked in beneath his jacket. That thick red hair was pulled back and held with what looked like a clip, a few strands sticking out.

"Aren't you hot?" I blurted as he stood before me, his eye roaming my body and a delightful expression broke that smirking face. "Indeed I am, thank you for noticing." He gave me a wink as I went red. I did not mean it in that manner but… He did look good. I gasped softly as he unbuckled the clip from my cloak and pulled it off my shoulders, I was grateful for it as the warmth of spring was making me feel sticky.

"Aren't you hot." He copied me, butterflies started in my stomach. He then went to pull out the chair and I sat before he unbuttoned his jacket and pulled off his scarf. "Phew, I was slowly dying beneath that." Beneath the jacket, he wore a matching tunic and a simple white shirt. "You should've just gone like that, looks nice enough," I said, my glass filling itself up in a bubbly, ivory liquid.

"As much as it can be an inconvenience, I like to look good." He gave me a flash of a grin. I rolled my eyes, "Are you sure it's not to impress the ladies?" I remembered his words about his hands and what he could do with them, a scowl slowly appearing.

"Have I not impressed you?" He asked, his smile never faltering. "Maybe. I'm still mad at that comment you made back at your private room. You have a lot of work to do, buddy." He gave a sharp laugh as he sipped at his drink and sat back in his chair.

He looked… so not like a High Lord. Lounging back with an ankle of his knee, his shirt open a bit to expose his chest… And with that snarky attitude he was very relaxed and carefree. I had to ask, "Isn't being a High Lord supposed to be… a serious thing? I mean, you have to look after a Court and make sure things are right. Especially since the Spring Court is so…"

"Broken? Yes, it is a serious thing as you call it. Even the War being long behind us, there is things still needed to be fixed. Do you want me to be serious?" He gave me his best, impassive look. "No, I'm just… I've just heard other High Lords being stiff-backed and jumpy at everything thing." I turned the glass around; worried I may say something to offend him. I was still in a bit of a daze from today's events, still muddling over it all.

"I figured. Some have become weary with each other, especially towards me as I took the spot of High Lord under… Strange circumstances. Tamlin had taken off once Feyre had exploited him and destroyed his connection to the King before she and Rhys controlled the Court for some time before handing it to me. They said they knew my ideas and my wishes of a uniting Court, but it's hard with having so little people left to unite. Most are in hiding still." I listened intently to his story, watching the fear, then to pain, then to anger flash across his face.

I did not know much about what happened before the War, only a few snippets. I knew for a fact Tamlin had become… domineering and controlling. And I knew that he had hurt Lucien and Feyre in some way, but I would not ask them what.

The air between us grew a bit tight; the light chirping of the night insects could be heard. "Anyways," he started, setting his glass down and sitting up straight, "Let's start dinner." With that, the table was filled with delicious food. Roast seasoned to perfection, vegetables cooked to my liking, another assortment of well-cooked meats… Gods, I was having a hard time to choose what to take first. I wanted to eat it all.

I looked at Lucien who looked right back at me; "Go ahead," he said, hearing my thoughts, "Eat as much as you can." I hesitated a little, "Oh come on. I saw you scoff down that breakfast. What's the difference?"

"It's rude for a woman to eat herself silly," I said, taking some of the roast and small pieces of the rest of the dishes. "Says the one that has practically taken each thing from each dish." He eyed my colourful plate, a quizzical look. "In moderation. I understand there will be dessert after this, so I'd like to make room."

Lucien rolled his eyes, "I didn't think you'd be so fussy about dessert. Besides, am I not delectable enough? I thought I was the last treat to soothe your sweet mouth." I choked and dropped my fork as my cheeks heated instantly. Oh, what a smooth, little bastard was he. I tried to glare at him, to be mad in a way. But his words sent every part of me screaming for attention, yet another part of me told I should not flirt with him.

I shifted in my seat, my legs closing a little. His head tilted slightly, and I swear he sniffed the air and his remaining eye pinned me. The embers flickered and flames sprouted, letting this comforting warmth spread through my veins and every aching spot.

"You are…" I shook my head, pushing back a curl behind my ear; he followed each movement. "I'm what?" He asked his tanned throat bobbing, which I wanted to kiss. I couldn't find a word, so I said, "Devious, little bastard." He flashed me one of his winnings smiled as he dug into his plate.

"You may think I am little, but I know truthfully I am not. Well, in certain places, so to speak." I kept my head down, my face beyond red now. My toes curled in my shoes as I muttered a curse and ate in silence. I had to calm my fleeting emotions, settle the galloping beat beneath my ribs. Oh, everything throbbed, every inch of my skin wanted to be caressed by him, by his fingers, his sensuous lips.

After I finally collected myself, I said to move on with the flirting, "How long did it take for you to write that letter? It seems like someone was a little nervous." Lucien snorted swallowing his food and shook his head baffled, "Of course I was not nervous! I wrote it with passion and completely myself! Do not accuse the High Lord of such petty things." He gave a sharp, dramatic sigh with an 'Hmpfh' as he continued to eat.

"Oh, my bad, my Lord. I did not mean to accuse you of such things. It just, it seemed so… Odd for a man like you to write such a lovely letter." I batted my eyes at him innocently, as well as pouting to give my act a bit more realism.

"I know it was lovely because I wrote it. Like I said, I am a delectable piece of man. Everything I do is lovely." He flicked his hair behind his shoulder and I couldn't help but roll my eyes at him. "Yes, totally. I agree wholeheartedly." I said sarcastically.

"But I mean it! Look at this food, this night, all of it-" As he was sweeping his arm around he knocked the candelabra over and cried out as it broke on the sandy stone. And when he went to grab it, he knocked the table, which caused his drink to spill over his pants. I laughed at his annoyed state, he was frantically dabbing at the now wet spot, which looked like he had pissed himself.

He looked up to retort but he started to also laugh with me, sitting back as the candelabra refixed itself. "Oh dear," I said between giggles, "I don't think I laughed that much before." I wiped away the tears before I finally calmed down.

"To you, it may be funny, but for me now I have to deal with feeling wet. Oh, what a disaster." He made a cute pout as he looked below the table. "Oh quit crying, you laughed as well okay." I stuck my tongue out at him, "Such a child." He snickered.

"You're the bigger child here, whimpering about wetting himself." I shot back.

"You're the one complaining there being no dessert."

"You huffing and puffing about a letter which you so did not write."

"You calling me names."

We stared at each other, fighting for dominance and who'd look away first. He did, and I grinned with vigour, "I win." I giggled and went back to eating. "What a child." He mumbled under his breath.

The dinner had gone very well if I was being honest. We had continued our banter and silly arguments about unnecessary topics. And during that time, I had completely slid into that witty attitude he had and began to like him, greatly. I had managed to finish my plate, taking the napkin and wiping my hands and dabbing my mouth. I finished the bitter yet sweet liquid; I wasn't sure whether it was my wild feelings or my singing blood that made me tingle.

"Now that we are done, shall we go for a walk?" Lucien stood as he pulled on his jacket and scarf. I followed suit, leaving my cloak behind as he leads me down the stairs and into the gardens. He held out his arm and I locked mine around him, I stifled the urge to grip a bit more to feel that hardness beneath the jacket.

We were silent for some time, occupied with our private thoughts. He took me to the fountain, the water gently trickling out of the pots positioned around a narrow cluster of marble flowers. I sat down on the bench, tucking my wings tightly behind me as he leant back, head tipped a little to stare up at the star-flecked sky.

I turned to face him, moving closer and tucking a leg beneath me as I draped one arm on the backrest of the bench. I ran a finger along the worn wood, unsure what to say at this point. Slowly, I let my eyes drift back to him, too… marvel at him. I reached out to him, tucking a strand of hair behind that delicately pointed ear, my thumb gently running down the shell of his ear. He had gone dead still, his eyes closed, as my hand rested on the back of his neck. I rubbed just beneath the hairline, my fingers tangled in his hair.

He finally opened his eyes, to stare at me in a way that the blush crept back on my face. I loved how he stared at me as if I was something… Meaningful. Not some person to ogle and think of dirty thoughts. His arm moved around my waist and pulled me closer, and lifted my legs to rest on his thigh. This was probably the longest I was of being this close to him, to someone who I barely knew. But some secret part of me told this was right, he was right, but I could not tell what this feeling was.

"It gets lonely here sometimes," he started in a soft voice, "Yes I have Elain but she has her own friends and most of them are girls." He looked a little awkward, shy almost and I started to smile. "Do you not have friends in the other Courts?" I asked, my caress still going. "I do, but during the War they had turned their backs on me. Some have returned now but… I barely see them." I recalled Feyre's words about him being alone, and that's what I felt now in some way. Lucien had looked away, struggling with words so I said to encourage him, "You can say it. I won't judge or bash you for it. You can trust me." I now stroked his hair, loving the silky softness.

It took him a minute or so to finally look back at me, "I'd like you to live here. With me. You'd like it here." I blinked at his request, taken aback really. I wasn't sure what to say, I was at a loss. Yes, it would be amazing to be here, away from everyone and not be studied closely as if I was some unknown creature. And then I thought of Nate, and how he'd react to me moving here… And the way he had the blade against Lucien's throat.

I gulped and removed myself from him, moving over a little as I stared ahead along the white-pebbled pathway. Oh, if Lucien was hurt by him… I'd not forgive myself. I turned back to him, "As much as it sounds greatly appealing, Lucien… I don't think I can. And you know my relationship with Nate if I move he comes with me." Dislike crossed his face but was replaced with a frown.

"I see, that's okay." I felt extremely bad, so I reached towards his hand and laced my fingers in his and rested my other hand atop his. "I can still visit you, whenever you wish, I'll come." He gripped tightly but said, "It won't be the same, I won't… I'd… I want to give you things, things you should get all the time instead of the cold shoulder."

It felt like the world stopped at those words. Instead of the cold shoulder. I let go of his hand and stood, I walked ahead before I stumbled and stopped hugging myself. I knew what he meant; I knew the hidden meaning behind those words and it just… I didn't think anyone in the world would fall for me. Or even that quickly.

I turned to see him rise slowly, those gods damned appealing lips parted slightly, his brows furrowed making the scar look more brutal. But it made him all more handsome and beautiful but I couldn't. I couldn't let him into my life, my life was a mess and I had nothing to offer him.

"You don't know me, you don't know anything about me." I rasped, trying to fight back the tears. "It doesn't matter Vi, I know enough to know you are a strong, stunning and courageous woman who has gone through so much in the recent weeks. I know that you care and love others to the point where you will put them first, and I know that some don't return those feelings and just… I want to return them for you." I looked at him through blurred vision, seeing his lean figure move to me and wipe away my tears.

"And I want you to know that even if you don't want it, want me, we can just stay as friends. And I'll wait until you make whatever decision in the future. I'll be ready." He tilted my face up to his, so I could see the trueness to his words. And I felt it inside me as well, through that white pulsating light.

"But why me? Of all the women in the world? You're with Elain, why not her? You know her, she's pretty, she's bubbly, she's-"

"She's not you." Lucien cupped my face, "No one is like you. And you drew me in the day I saw you at that club. You glowed so brightly I thought I had gone blind, and I was instantly eager to know whom this serene woman with wings that captured my entire being. And I understand why, what drew us, it was-"

"No," I shook my head, pulling his hands away from my face, "If I told you what I was, you'd not want to see me anymore." He didn't look convinced, "I doubt it, Vi. It'd take so many lengths to change my views on you."

I looked at him, really looked at him. He looked so damn determined as if he would go to the ends of the world to make me happy. Words began to tumble out of my mouth, I explained to him about yesterday, what the King had said and about the powers I had gotten.

A big weight had lifted off my shoulders and Lucien had taken me back to the bench, carefully sitting me back down. I had some more things to tell him but that would take time, for me to trust him fully to let him that deep into my life. During my talk he had not once disturbed me or looked afraid, his face was set into concentration and calculating each word as if he was trying to piece it all together.

He didn't look at me as if I was a monster.

"Wow." He finally said, sitting back and looking at me from head to toe. "But you can't pinpoint what this so-called King is?" I shook my head, not able to lock eyes with him. "He didn't reveal that much to me. But what I got from him is that he is a sadistic and perverted prick. What he did to my mother… Bed her and got her to birth his children…" I shuddered a little. "And I've been given his power… It makes me feel so disgusted with myself that I share a bit of him in me." I looked at my hands; I could feel that power alive and flowing beneath my skin.

Lucien's hand covered them and held them, bringing my attention to him, "Don't say that. Don't think of him, think of the strength you have. Think of the good you can do, you could possibly heal major wounds, you could save lives. Anything."

"But my power… It's of darkness and evil." Lucien shook his head, his hair falling out of his clip, "If you think that way, it'll become it. Think well; shape it to what you want. That's how all Fae with magical abilities do, they carve their powers to what they like and want it to do. They don't let it control them, they are the master." Lucien removed his hand and held it out before him. Then a fire, of gold's and oranges and reds came to life in his palm.

"I am the master of this flame." He murmured, and I watched with pure delight as it twisted into animals that ran and curled around his fingers before shooting upwards and exploding into glittering embers. It rained down around us, but it did not singe either us.

I met his gaze, feeling that magic burn between us for some reason; the white light became a living flame deep in my soul. A small hint of a smile danced along his lips before I hugged him tightly, burying my face into the crook of his neck. His words had touched a small part of me; giving me that little strength I needed all this time.

"You can deny it as much as you wish, but what you are and what you have will not change my views on you." I pulled back slowly, but he beat me before I could speak, "I will make you see it, I will show you that you are indeed an incredible person."

"Are you trying to make me cry or something?" I ask as I dried my eyes a little. "Is it good tears or bad tears?" He replied with a question of his own. "Who knows." I gave him a little wink before I stood and slipped out of his arms.

"You're being difficult." He mumbled as he stood. I crossed my arms, "Uh huh, sure. I'll stop being difficult when you start doing instead of telling." A sly smile made him copy me, "I hope so. I have something to show you tonight." I raised an eyebrow expectantly as I hooked an arm around his.

"Is it dessert?" I asked, getting a little excited. "Hottest dessert you'll ever see." He grinned. "Stop flattering yourself." I rolled my eyes at him, a chuckle coming from him as we came to the stables. A mottled grey and white stallion were saddled and waiting, it whinnied a little as Lucien came over and rubbed its neck. I waited as Lucien checked the belts and buckles before standing beside the horse.

"Where's mine?" I asked curiously, coming closer. Though the horse was big and I shied a little from it, the stallion had pale grey eyes and seemed to gaze at me longingly. "This one. We will ride on one horse." I blushed and it was his turn to shake his head, "Don't think it in that perspective. Cauldron, is it me or you that has the dirtiest thoughts?" Lucien waved me closer, "It won't be that bad." He knelt down on one knee and clasps his hands together.

"Wh-What? I've never been on a horse… Let alone rode one." I said looking down at him. "I'll teach you. Come, put your foot in the stirrup and hold on to the seat to pull yourself up." He pointed to what I had to do, "Then put your foot in my hands." I did then narrow my eyes at him, "Don't look up my skirt." He looked away as I was hoisted up into the saddle.

I was giggling nervously as he swiftly pulled himself up and sat behind me. "Is this saddle made for two?" I asked, keeping my face ahead as my whole body tensed at him being pressed against my back. "Yes." His tight reply came as his hands rested on my hips. Every part of me cried and yearned for more, and the fact that my gown had a low back… Gods, I had no idea how I was still sane.

"Take the reins, then nudge the horse to make him move." I followed his instructions and yelped a little as the horse moved forward. "Now turn to that gate." His breath tickled my shoulder and I squirmed a little, his hands gripping my waist tighter. "Follow that pathway, you can make the horse go faster." I shook my head, already getting a bit jittery. For some reason, riding a horse was terrifying; I had no idea how to control the beast and the idea of falling off…

"I've got you, Vi, I won't let you fall." That blasted name made me feel things I shouldn't, not when I was with someone. And the flirting, the light banter, oh I would be in deep unending shit if Nate found out if I allowed Lucien to be this close to me. And on top of that, Lucien was… In love with me, I had no idea how to deal with that.

I shifted again in the saddle, a strange sound came from Lucien but instead he said, "I've been meaning to ask something." I waited for him to continue, "The scar on your face, was that only recent?" I turned a bit; Lucien grimaced a bit and was tight-lipped. "Just before I came here, actually. In the afternoon when I came back home from the House of Wind. As I was explaining to everyone about what had happened to Azariah… Devyn had lost it. And he said some words that made me realise what had happened…" I reached up to feel the long scratch marks on my cheek, "I had to fight him but it was doused before it could get any worse. The King had… Snuck into his mind and I guess manipulated him." I turned back to face the front, hearing the nightlife around me.

"How do you know it was him?" Lucien asked softly. "I had gotten into Devyn's head and kicked the King out and made a barrier of flame. I'm unsure if it'll hold on for long, Devyn was pretty… Bad when I saw him."

"Was he close to Azariah?" I nodded, "Very. Their relationship would be seen as… unacceptable." Lucien's only reply was, "Ah."

"I tried to get them to part, to… Stop their activities. But they kept it behind doors which were I guess okay but… I understand why Devyn was so broken. He felt betrayed and used, Azariah leaving to be with that man you and Feyre despise."

"I don't know what's worse, your siblings being together or Azariah being with Tamlin." Disgust and utter hatred laced his tone. I placed one hand atop his, "I don't have the right to ask exactly what he did to you but I have a feeling he did bad things." It wasn't meant to be a question but Lucien replied to me anyways, "Unexplainable things. It'd be a very long story." I squeezed his hand, "Another time, then. Whenever you're ready."

"Let's not ruin the rest of the night, okay? I want this night to be special." He took the reins and got the horse to gallop. I gasped, as I was pressed harder against him, I held on to his arms as I bounced up and down. The tall, ancient trees thinned out until we came to the very top of a hill, below soft knee length grass swayed in the gentle breeze. A meadow dusted with bobbing yellow lights sprawled long and wide, gentle rises here and there.

Lucien got off the horse and held out his hands for me, I swung my leg over and eased myself down into those strong arms. He held me for a bit, my feet just above the ground. I gripped his shoulders as my eyebrows rose, "I'd like to be set down now. Enough of you feeling excited by being pressed against me." He did quickly and went red.

"I didn't think you'd notice." He said as he tied the stallion to a tree. "Oh, I did. Especially when I was bouncing and rubbing against you. It's so easy to tell a man's arousal, maybe you should wear tighter pants." I snickered as he shot me a glance over his shoulder as he took off the saddle. "If you were uncomfortable, why didn't you say anything?" He asked, shame evident in his voice. "We couldn't move anywhere else, what would the point be? I can't tell what your manhood should do, say it's a bad boy?" At least Lucien laughed at that, "It tends to be a bad boy, and mostly around women I like." He replied casually. I growled at him as I looked back out to the meadow, "I'm going to have to clean that mouth of yours." I huffed.

"I'd like you to clean it for me then. With your own, preferably." He said beside me and grabbed my wrist before I could hit him. "It's against the law to hit a High Lord, Viviana. You could get into serious trouble." He crooned as he grabbed my other wrist before it could slap him; I was pressed against a tree. 'Oh Gods… Oh Gods…' I thought, vivid and graphic images of my body tangled with his and being taken on this tree. My body moved before I could stop it and I arched into him, tilting my head to the side as he lowered his lips to my bare skin. It was barely a brush, a mere whisper of a breath but it still sent so many chills down my spine a small noise came from me.

His hands once again found their place on my hips, drawing our bodies closer. My breathing became laboured, faster, louder as his lips continued their travels along my jawline. The heat between my legs ached, throbbing desperately for that growing hardness in his pants to ease it. 'So close… Closer, closer…' A small voice in me chanted. What I was doing, what I was feeling, it was bad, I shouldn't, I couldn't not when I was with Nate. But that light tugged at me, saying this was fine, that this was okay and normal to feel this when-

A sound like a twig snapping got Lucien to pull back quickly, a snarl ripping from him as he looked at the sound. There was a scuttle until a rabbit poked its head out, then pulled back and was gone by the look Lucien gave it. I took this chance to pry his hands off my heated up body, fearing if he looked at me I'd rip his clothing off.

"I'm sorry." He said I kept my eyes trained at his feet. What could I say? It's fine that you almost stripped me? Don't worry about it? Everything will be okay, no worry you almost kissed me? I couldn't answer him, I was worried I might say the wrong thing and hurt him. "Do you want to go back then?"

"No." I said just as quickly he ended the question, "I did not ride that horse for no reason, and besides, you own my dessert." I said, wanting to make light of the situation. A light laugh and he smiled, that strange desire in his eye fading from the puff of air he emitted. "I almost forgot. Come on, it's not too far to walk." He said as he went ahead, I kept to his side but at a comfortable distance.

The wind was like a sigh, making the grass dance gently. I had also noticed something else, the lights that glowed were not light bugs but round figures with tiny eyes and the softest of bell sounds came from them. They parted quickly as we walked through, disappearing among the grass; I seemed to have wandered a little, fascinated by the creatures.

Lucien grasped my arm and pulled me back, "Don't follow them, they will get you lost." He kept hold of me, "I'm not very familiar with your Court. What are they?" I asked as we headed up a slight rise. "Will-O'-Wisps, elemental spirits that usually trick travellers to stray from their pathways." He explained making me bite my lip, "Oh, I see. My bad." I continued to watch the lights, blinking around us until he stopped me atop the hill.

Laid out on the grass was a large blanket made for two people to sit on or lay on, with a basket full of fruits and two bottles of what I knew was to be alcohol. Lucien wandered around then stripped of his jacket and scarf before he groaned and lay back on the blanket. He went so far as taking off his boots and pulling his shirt out. He paused his reaching to the bottle and looked up at me, "Are you going to sit and drink with me or am I going to finish these myself?" He filled a glass and held it out to me. I scrunched up my nose and sat willingly, making myself comfortable before I took the glass now full of some pink liquid. "And here is your dessert," two plates appeared among us, both with a good-sized piece of chocolate cake. "Yes, oh gods yes." Lucien laughed at the way I said it, "I wish you could've said that to me when you saw me tonight." I rolled my eyes as I set my glass down and dug right into the cake.

When I was done, I was very much satisfied. I then picked up my glass and drank the entire thing, the drink instantly spread through my stomach like slow moving snakes making my skin tingle. "Happy?" He said, now just finishing with his own plate. I nodded as he refilled both our glasses, I had a bit of a low tolerance to alcohol and wondered how the night would go if I had a few more glasses. "Shame, I was hoping I'd be taking my shirt off tonight." He gave a slight shrug as he leant on his elbow and swirling his drink.

"You can dream about that, but it won't be happening." I said, "So keep that thing on or I'll fly away." My wings stirred a bit. "Hm, okay. But you're missing out." He looked as if he had realised something and sat up, patting himself before he grabbed his jacket and went through it before he pulled out a little velvet bag.

"Before I forget, I got something for you." That flirting demeanour went away and was replaced with something more reserved and almost shy like. He walked on his knees behind me and I slowly turned to see what he had in the bag. "What is it?" I asked. "Close your eyes, it's a surprise." He gave me an expectant look so I did as commanded.

I heard a little clink then something cool sat just above my breasts. His fingers brushed the back of my neck before he said, "You may look now." Hesitation from him got my eyes opening to stare at what it was.

I gasped. It was my mother's necklace. Though it was different, hanging between the wings was a teardrop shaped stone. The colours… I at a loss of how pretty it was. It had deep purples and blues with many flecks of gold's, oranges and reds. Whenever it turned, I caught small glimpses of greens. It was like the stone had captured the deep ocean and fire.

"I found the original necklace broken beside the pathway and knew it was yours. I got it repaired and had the jeweller to add the stone with it. Fire opals in that variety are hard to come across." I was still so mesmerised by the stone, so infatuated with it. Lucien had gone to lengths, I assumed, to get this. "I have to repay you back somehow," I mumbled unable to look away from it. "No, you don't. Actually, please don't repay me. It is just a gift I am returning to you, with a minor add on." He smiled at me, "But I hope you like it at least." I looked up to see him rubbing the back of his head, face turned to the meadow with a light dust of pink on his cheeks.

I giggled, "Oh, someone is blushing. Whatever happened to that confident smile? But no, I am forever grateful for this. The necklace means everything to me… And I really like your personal touch to it." I complimented him. "Oh, thank the Cauldron you like it. I was taking a gamble with the stone, I was going to make it into a necklace either way for you." He explained, his grin coming back. "Well, I like anything that's sparkly or colourful. This is the best gift ever." I said attentively.

And with that, we had drank and nibbled on the fruits. Once the two bottles were gone and half the fruit is eaten, with a wave he sent it to some pocket between the world and we snuggled closely together. I allowed myself to rest my head on his chest, one arm draped over his stomach. I was giggling at some story he was telling me, though my head was buzzing from the alcohol but I started to trace his skin, beginning from his collarbones, then down the crevices of his pectorals and then his abdomen.

He trailed off with his story, his body going rigid under my touch. I stopped just above his navel before I sat up, propping myself up with one arm braced beside his head. I held his gaze, my hand moving up to cup his face, "Ever since you 'accidentally' touched my wing, have you wondered what else it could do to me?" I asked, my words a bit heavy on my tongue. "I haven't really thought of it, why?" He slightly cocked an eyebrow as I drew my hand down back to his chest, tugging the strings a little. "Well, since you've been intent to arouse me tonight…" I didn't fully straddle him, more like sit just above his leg as I took his hand and pressed it to my side.

"Vi, are you sure… You are drunk, you're not thinking-" I hushed him with a shake of my head, "I know what I want, Lucien. And I want… I want you to touch me." He took an intake of breath, "Tell me again, tell me." He gulped, his other hand resting on my thigh. His hand inched closer, my body beginning to grow hotter and my blood thrummed. "Touch m-me Lucien, please," I whispered, my eyes lidded.

He sat up as those fingers found the base of my wings and I arched into him, a gasp coming from me. Everything disappeared the pain, the incessant worry over my life and was replaced with the spark of pleasure that shot down my spine and through my body.

My wings shuddered as he trailed his fingers up the arm and along the bend. I wrapped my arms around him as I buried my face into his neck, my moans muffled. I could feel something hard press against my leg, a whine entwined with his name made him adjust me so I was now propped on his lap. Lucien lay back, pulling me down so he could pepper my jaw and neck with small bites. His tongue that licked after a bite was sublime; the sensation of that velvet skin along the shell of my ear almost broke me into an explosion of gratification.

But I knew he had a part in this, keeping my climaxes to a minimum. He was building it up. Pulling all my anger and my devastation and mixing it with the release he knew I had to let go

With one hand stroking my wing the other gripped my waist and guided me to move. I was a bit hesitant to go to that point, to feel him but… 'But what?' My own voice echoed, and a jolt of ecstasy made my hips find its home downwards. Oh, oh the feeling sent my mind whirling and my hips moving in time with his long, deft strokes along my feathers.

I gripped his hair as I heard soft groans rumble from him, the combination of our bodies moving together and my wings getting attention… Oh Cauldron, it was a sensation I could not understand. My soul was being torn then remade as he unwound me over and over, moaning my name as if it was a prayer.

It was an exquisite thing, to hear him, begging for me to go harder and some inner instinct told me to do it. I pulled back and braced my hands on his chest; this position made it easier to ground my hips against his. "Viviana-" His short rasps pulled my attention, there was nothing but that carnal need vivid in that eye.

A final release began to grow, like the fire in the pit of my soul, and I became more needy and ravenous. I took his hand from my hip and pressed it against my breast, he looked a bit unsure but I moved his hand to show I wanted it. "I give you my c-consent to touch… So touch." I tilted my head back until his other hand moved to knead my breasts. But an invisible hand was still trained on my wings, still dancing along every part of it, still pushing me closer to the cliff I could see coming up fast.

"Viviana, yes, oh Cauldron!" I was so hot, my body slick with sweat as the fire began to move higher and higher, the untamed flames wickedly burning brighter along that light. My body writhed under the scorching frenzy until I fell over the cliff.

The build up that he held from me shattered the hinges as euphoria tumbled out and got me seeing a white light. The sensation had completely undone me, a loud cry of his name sent a few birds flying into the sky as that chamber or whatever it was emptied of the longing and the craving of being touched.

I stayed atop him, shaking uncontrollably as pleasure still wracked my body. Whatever that was between us, it seemed to tighten its hold and anchored us. As if accepting this was accepting a little bit of him. I panted hard before I fell onto my side. Reality seemed to have left my body as I was still relishing in that sweet embrace, still moaning his name over and over as I imagined what that bulge in his pants would feel like buried deep inside me.

But like most things, the high drifted away on wisps of smoke and left behind a comfortable throbbing sensation. Even my dark powers marvelled at the feeling and settled with a content sigh, and when I opened my eyes I found Lucien gazing at me with such awe and wonder.

I wordlessly pulled myself back to him, my arms numb as well as my legs as he helped me rest my head on his chest. He was still shaking a little, I figured maybe because of the… The thing we did, it felt intimate yet it didn't. He did not see me naked, but he sure as hell felt me against him and hearing my moans… I blushed at the thought, I doubt he'd ever let it go and use it to his advantage.

The thought brought a forbidden eagerness.

Lucien grabbed his jacket and gently laid it atop me, despite the sky growing a lighter shade of violet I fell asleep. And in the many years of my life, I dreamt of something pleasant. My body was light as I flew high in the sky, the wind whispering sweet nothings in my ears and the sun a golden disk in the clearest of blue skies warmed my skin.

And when I landed, I ran into the arms of my future.