On those days, that seem too long, like they just won't end, and on those days, that seem to short, like they never even existed, Pearl likes to walk all the way up the hill.

On the top of the hill, there's a lighthouse. Sometimes it's enough for Pearl to stop there, to sit inside or stay outside by the door. Sometimes she feel satisfied just feeling the grass between her finger and the cool white stone pressing against her back.

Some days, she continues instead. She walks past the lighthouse, continuing on her way until the grass beneath her feet is exchanged for weather-worn sandstone, and she knows that she's standing on top the goddess's head.

The goddess. That's what the inhabitants of Beach City call her, the beautiful creature carved into the stone on the side of the cliff. None of them remember her real name anymore, having lost it at some point during the hundreds of years that passed since the carving was executed.

Pearl wish she could be as forgettable as the people of this town, simply letting Poudretteite disappear into the fog at the back of her mind, where so many other beautiful things had disappeared already.

If Pearl tiptoed all the way to the edge of the head of the goddess statue, she can look down at the stones and the sand below. She can imagine herself taking just one more step, en pointe, and then fall, tumble around in the air and maybe, for just a single second, regret her decision , all before letting gravity catch up with and collided with the sand. At worst, a fall like that would end in a regeneration, and possibly a crack in her gem, but at best, it would simply shatter her, and it would mean all would be over.

She made that fall, once, or maybe twice, she can't remember. The only thing she can remember the comfort the action brought her, turning bittersweet when it didn't work the way she wanted to, and instead, she was forced to stand responsible for her actions in front of Garnet and Amethyst.

On this day, one of those days that just seem all too long, Pearl consider to try again. It didn't feel like she had anything to lose anyway, and based off earlier experience, it probably wouldn't end with her being shattered, either. She could just claim she slipped with her foot when they asked afterwards, they wouldn't have a reason not to believe her. Not anymore.

"Pearl? What are you doing up here?" Steven's childish voice echoed in her ears. It sounded so soft and innocent, not much different from the day he said his first word, even though Pearl had read human's voice changed when they got older.

She turned away slowly, not wanting to actually slip and fall. No, if she fell, she wanted it to be her own decision.

She needed to know that he was really there, that it wasn't just her imagination playing tricks on her.

"Pearl? Did you also come here to enjoy the view? You shouldn't be so close to the edge...you could fall." It really was him. It really was her sweet little baby. He had come up here to enjoy the view. She didn't knew he did that. He had never asked any them to join him.

"Ah, yes...the...the view. I came to enjoy the view." She try to make it sound natural, not at all like she was caught doing something she shouldn't. It comes out awkward, though, and she cringed. Steven was most certainly going to tell Garnet and Amethyst, and she was going to be put on suicide watch. Again.

"Pearl, are you alright?" Steven take one step towards her. Just one single step, but her foot react on its own, instinctively taking one step backwards, and she let out a yelp of surprise.

It's standing on nothing. There is nothing but air beneath her left foot, because she was already so close to the edge that when she backed, there was nothing left to walk on.

"Pearl!" Steven sound scared, and she is too, because she can feel her right foot slipping and know that soon she'll be falling down again.

"Steven, remeber that I love you." She says it, just in case this is her lucky third time. Just in case there are no more painful regenerations for her.

She's not sure if she would have preferred to chose her third time herself, but none the less, she feels utterly at easy while she's falling, not even feeling the usual panic as she sense the beach getting so much closer.

It was an accident, she know Steven will vouch for her concerning that little detail, but she couldn't care less.

She's just happy it might be over.