Day 1
By: blacklitchick

(find more of BLC's writing under our favorite authors or check out her tumblr page)

The taste of the apple still lingered on her tongue. His lips were still imprinted down her body. The morning sunshine had ushered in the happiness of waking up in the arms of the man she loved. Now the night sky was the backdrop of the torture of not knowing if they'd live to see another day.

The palms of her hands stung from her nails digging in deep from her tightly balled fists. Her wrists burned from hours of being tied up in the back of that van. Her body yelled at her to relax, but her back was rigid as she stared down the madman threatening each of her family members with his barb wired bat. She wouldn't let him see her pain; her vulnerability. She wouldn't let him see the fear that was on the verge of boiling over. But she couldn't control the single tear that rolled down her cheek as he passed from her on to his next potential victim.

She could feel Rick and Carl. She could feel Rick crumbling and Carl's defiance just as strong as hers. Every instinct in her wanted to run to them, to protect them, but she knew her family was as good as dead if any of them moved. All the people lined up on the ground had teetered on the thin tightrope between living and dying countless times since the dead started walking, but this time felt different. This time felt as if it would change them forever.

She closed her eyes briefly as Negan continued his spiel. Her head filled with light as she saw herself laughing while playing that game on the tracks with Carl. She saw Rick looking deeply into her eyes as she promised to always be with him. She saw Judith on the floor playing with those red cups she loved so much. The thought of never holding that sweet little girl again or thinking up new games with Carl or never waking up in Rick's arms again gave her a new determination. She opened her eyes and held her back even straighter. They were going to make it out of there.

It was like waking up in that hospital all over again. The world as he knew it was gone, and he didn't know if he could survive the current landscape. Determination to find his family is what kept him going before, but now his family was right there and one or more of them was going to die because of him. They should have believed in anyone other than Rick Grimes.

The dirt below their kneeling forms blurred before him as his head hung low. He could hear Carl's steady breathing though he wouldn't dare look at the boy for fear of seeing his disappointment. Two years since the world ended and Carl had been through more than any kid should be allowed. He couldn't protect his children. He couldn't protect any of them.

He could feel Michonne only two bodies away from him. Her hair was still in his pocket. His mind had him convinced she was dead. When the Savior pulled her out of the van he couldn't breathe; feeling a mixture of relief and a deep fear that she was now a part of this too. He wanted to run to her and grab hold of her waist to let out all the pain that was on the verge of boiling over. But he knew he couldn't. Negan would kill them both. He didn't think much of his own life anymore, but the instincts to protect Michonne and his children were still buried somewhere deep inside him; underneath all of his regrets and failures.

He wished he would have hugged his little girl a few minutes longer before leaving Alexandria. He wished he would have told his son that losing an eye didn't make him a freak and he was still perfect in his father's eyes. He wished he would have told Michonne he loved her after he kissed her goodbye that morning. He wished -

The chorus of screams that cut into the dark sky muted his brain and everything faded to black.