AN: Hello everybody! This is GroundZeroFirework with the latest chapter of "Cursed". I know a lot of y'all were waiting on me to update again and...WOW! GODDAMN! I didn't realize it's been that long since I last updated (Sept. 24, 2016); Christmas passed, New Year's passed, hell...even Valentine's day has already come to pass and still no update from me. I apologize for that but I was unfortunately struggling with my studies and I was also trying to decide if I was going to turn this into a complete AU where μ's was never formed and the nine girls only became friends through circumstances. Ultimately, I've decided on attempting to keep it canon compliant, therefore μ's does exist in this fic. Keep in mind that this chapter starts after they have allegedly performed their duets and occurs during Season 2, before "Snow Halation". Unfortunately, I will have to stick to my plan of keeping this a short story as I don't really have that long of a storyline for this one. Okay, enough with this AN. Let's get to why you guys are really here. Now, without further ado, let's begin, the second chapter of "Cursed". Hope y'all enjoy.

CHAPTER II:

SHATTER ME

Another day. Another day full of activities and schoolwork. If one were to play their cards right, each day would be fun. Play your cards wrong and it could be very stressful and depressing. Make the best out of a bad hand and a stressful day could turn into a fun one...

And Ayase Eli felt that her day was going to be both.

Stressful because...well...it's a school day; who doesn't get stressed on a school day? Homework, lessons, student council paperwork that Honoka would no doubt forget and they would have to cover for her again.

But it'll probably be fun as well, seeing as how today would be another round of μ's practice; her friends (or as how some people like to tease them online; her children) from μ's were one of the few bright spots in her life. The brightest spot is her best friend, Nozomi.

Nozomi. Her dear sweet Non-tan. Her true love. Her soulmate. The person who understood her better than she understood herself sometimes. The person she's lost too many times. After their run in, Eli couldn't find it in herself to push her love away anymore. Sure, she acted cold to her for the first few months in an effort to keep her safe from the doom that would no doubt be brought upon her but eventually, Nozomi won her over. They grew closer in the course of three years. Eli wanted to confess everything to her; their past lives, the love they shared, everything. But as experiences in her past lives taught her, every time she got close to getting Nozomi to love her in return or even confess her feelings for her, she would die...and Eli would got through the pain of losing her all over again. Which is why Eli vowed to herself that if she can't distance herself from Nozomi...she would have to make do with walking away when Nozomi is about to reciprocate her feelings. It would no doubt be a painful decision to make but...if it meant keeping Nozomi alive and well, she would bear the burden, take the pain and then, her sacrifice would be worth it.

"Onee-chan, let's go! We're gonna be late!" A familiar voice informed her. Eli walked out of her room and greeted her little sister, Arisa, with a cheerful smile.

"Are you ready?" She asked the girl. The younger Ayase nodded immediately.

The pair left their home and started their walk to school. Arisa met her best friend, Yukiho, halfway to school and they left together, leaving Eli to walk by herself. Eventually, she arrived at Otonokizaka and smiled widely upon seeing a familiar face. She hastened her approached and called for her.

"Nozomi. Good morning." She greeted her. Nozomi smiled when their gazes met.

"Ah, Elicchi...good morning."

"How are you? Ready to go?" Eli asked her, to which the purple haired girl cheerfully nodded. Thus, the pair started their walk to the student council room in order to work on some documents before class started. Eli found herself turning her gaze towards her partner every so often and eventually, her ears picked up on the fact that she was humming a familiar tune; Garden of Glass. The duet that they sang in one of their performances. Their duet was one of those moments Eli knew that she would cherish. After all, she didn't know when Nozomi would be taken from her again. Or when she would have to walk away from her. So she decided to make the best of everything and make every moment count. Out of nowhere, she felt something poke her cheek, bringing her out of her stupor and making her realize that (much to her horror) she's been staring at Nozomi the entire time.

"Spacin' out again, Elicchi? That ain't like ya at all." She teased her with a mischievous smile. Eli found herself unable to speak. Thankfully, Nozomi merely chuckled at her before continuing to tease her.

"If I didn't know, any better, I'd say you're in love with me, judging from the way you were staring."

'If only you knew, my dear Nozomi.' The blonde thought to herself. Eli pouted at her so as to mask the pain she was feeling.

"Mou...Nozomi, quit teasing me." She complained. The purple haired girl giggled before poking her cheek yet again.

"Sorry, Elicchi." She said with a bright cheerful smile. The pair returned to their work and Nozomi started humming once more. This time, however, Eli couldn't help but sing along...

"Futari kiri no Hanazono de nemuri ni tsuku..."

Nozomi heard her singing along and decided to follow up on the lyrics but not before holding out her hand towards the blonde student council president.

"Kami o naderu sono te ga suki motto..."

Without hesitation, Eli took that hand and sang as they both stood up. The pair continued to softly sing the song until the end as they somewhat danced a waltz with the limited space they had in the council room, their faces inching closer and closer to one another.

"Yume no meiro...yuri no meiro..."

The rational part of Eli's brain yelled at her to stop. Pull back. Remember what she was supposed to do; how she was supposed to keep Nozomi alive. But most of Eli's brain was pushing her to go through with it. And she would be lying if she said she didn't want to. She's craved for Nozomi's kiss for a long time. For three lifetimes, Eli has been deprived of the pleasure of feeling her love's lips pressed against hers. But just as she was about to have one of her fondest wishes granted, the bell rang, prompting them to separate from one another all of a sudden and for Eli to come back to her senses.

"I...we should...we should head to class." Eli said as she hurriedly gathered her things. Before Nozomi could even say anything, Eli walked out of the room as fast as she can and headed for their classroom, oblivious to the sad and longing stare that Nozomi gave her.

Once Eli arrived in the room where there class was being held, the blonde immediately slumped in her seat and buried her face in her arms.

"Don't be stupid, Ayase. You can't let her fall in love with you. It's for her own good. It's for her own good. It's for her own good..."

That was the mantra that Eli kept repeating in her head as much as she can the entire time classes were happening.

Once classes were over, the pair found themselves at the Idol Research Club's room. In between classes, Eli did her best to avoid Nozomi without raising suspicion from her. The blonde immediately saw her juniors and their fellow third year, Nico, having snacks. Eli smiled at them as they entered and sat next to them, patiently listening to the fun conversations they were having.

See, the funny thing here was, her juniors was another bone that her curse from way back when was throwing at her. This time, fate has made sure that she would be reminded of her first life. After all, she's met them all in her first incarnation and they were barely different from their first lives too...

Honoka was still as bubbly and cheerful and once again the daughter of two bakers while Hanayo was still as shy and sweet as she was back then.

Maki...cold, aloof and piano-playing Maki...her soul still yearns for Nico, the girl she loved in her first life. However, an arranged marriage back then forced Maki to cease contact with the short, twin tailed girl. The last Eli knew of them before her first death was that they eventually returned to being strangers to one another. As if they never knew each other at all. Nico, who wants to be an idol now, was a popular songstress in their first life.

Rin was one of Nozomi's sisters, who was arranged to marry Hanayo in their first lives. Kotori was Umi's fiancee in her first life and a well known and highly sought after seamstress. And Umi...

Ah, yes...Umi. When Eli's path crossed with hers, she wanted nothing more than to clock her in the face for making her suffer like this. For placing that curse on her that prevented her from being with Nozomi. Every night since finding Nozomi again, she was haunted by the last words Umi ever spoke to her in their first life.

"You don't deserve to be my sister's slave, let alone her lord!"

She hated those words. It served as a reminder that she didn't deserve someone as pure and loving as Nozomi. But for once, Eli didn't listen to herself and eventually, Eli got to know Umi better. For starters, she still loves Kotori as much as she did in her first life, but finds herself unable to say it to her. The second was that Umi is still as fiercely loyal and protective of her friends as she was back then. And finally, she was just a sweet, innocent girl now, who has no idea what her previous self has done. And it made the blonde realize that she had no one to blame but herself as to why she couldn't be with Nozomi. After all, back then, Umi was just a young woman, angry and grieving at her sister's death. How could she have known her words would have lasting consequences?

Nico, on the other hand, noticed how uncharacteristically distant the pair are to one another. In her book, that was an oddity, considering that they seem to be attached to the hip. Nozomi sat next to Maki while Eli stood beside Umi. There was an open seat next to Nozomi, so why wouldn't Eli jump at the chance to sit next to her? Usually, she would be all over her and subtly hogging her all to herself. To be honest, for all the years she's been acquainted with them, Nico was sick and tired of seeing them skirt around their feelings for one another. At this point, it was safe to say that they were more than friends but less than lovers seeing as how they both seem to be too afraid to act on their feelings. Another thing that tipped Nico off was how silent Nozomi was being. Usually, she would contribute to the current discussion, egg the others on with their bad habits, among other things. But now...she was quiet and simply smiled as she listened to their juniors' discussion. A smile that Nico soon learned to realize was the fake one she's been using all these years. Before she could stop herself or back out, she spoke up.

"So, what's wrong with the two of you?" She asked them, bringing their juniors' attention to the three of them.

"Huh? What do you mean, Nico-chan?" Eli asked, a bit put off at how serious Nico was being right now but also a bit nervous at the prospect that she may have realized that she was indeed trying to avoid Nozomi.

"Cut the crap, Ayase. Usually, you'd be sitting beside Monster Tits here if you're not hogging her all to yourself."

"What are you getting at, you little imp?" Maki asked her, thinking that Nico was simply stirring up trouble or that there's going to be a really bad punchline to where she was going with this.

"Quiet, you tomato loving tsundere." Nico spoke to her without even looking her way before continuing her tirade. "I mean, you're acting dodgy and distant while Nozomi is faking smiles left and right at every stupid, not funny thing Honoka says. So, spill. What's going on between you two?"

It took every iota of Eli's willpower to not lash out at Nico for butting in on her business. Instead, she took a deep breath and answered, hoping to defuse the situation upon seeing how frightened Hanayo and Rin were getting while Kotori, Umi and Honoka were looking on in worry.

"Nothing is going on, Nico."

The shorter girl scoffed in response.

"Nothing. Please. What? Did your precious Non-tan here reject you or something? I mean, it's pretty easy to see that you're in love with her, aren't you!"

For 30 seconds, the entire clubroom was silent, waiting on what Eli's answer would be. Nico certainly hoped that it would get them to admit their feelings for one another. Can she really deny it when the person she's in love with is just a few inches away from her? Nico hoped not. However, not everyone always gets what they hope for.

"No...I'm not in love with her. I have to go. I forgot Arisa needs my help with something tonight." She said before she bolted out of there with her things. They were all a bit put off by how serious Eli looked and sounded. Was that really how she felt about Nozomi? To be honest, after liking Eli since the time they she first saw her, Nozomi was immensely hurt by her answer.

Yet, why did it sound like Eli was trying to convince herself instead of the others?

That evening, Eli was lying on her bed, repeating today's events in her head like a broken record. She really was NOT expecting Nico to start grilling her like that all of a sudden and in front of Nozomi and the others, no less. It hurt to have to deny her love for Nozomi the way she did but she was already tempting fate with how close she and Nozomi were. She didn't want to wake up the next morning after declaring her love, only to hear that her Non-tan was taken away from her again. It's why she made up that excuse of Arisa needing her help; so that Eli didn't need to see that heartbroken look in her features. It was a cowardly move, she knows. But she would rather be labeled a coward than see her die another time. She stood up and left her room, seeing Arisa and Yukiho sitting underneath the kotatsu, doing their homework and watching TV at the same time.

"Arisa, I'm going to take a walk. Be good, alright?" She reminded the girl as she put her shoes on. The two middle school students nodded in response and the blonde walked out of the apartment as she put her coat and her scarf on. The nights were becoming colder than usual since it was nearing winter so no surprise there. Cold nights such as these would often remind Eli of her first life; specifically, the very first time she said 'I love you' to Nozomi. She doesn't just remember the events that happened that night but also the overwhelming feelings she felt. As she walked, Eli couldn't help but remember that day in her mind...

Year 18XX

It was winter and there was a heavy snow in their country. Earlier that day, Nozomi and her parents were in her home to discuss wedding plans with Eli's parents while they spent time with one another. They've been affianced for months so it wasn't uncommon to see them together whenever Nozomi and her parents visited. Unfortunately, the snow turned into a complete blizzard as night fell, leaving Nozomi and her family no choice but to stay the night in Eli's home. Everyone had turned in for the night, hoping for a light snowfall by the time morning comes. Just as the blonde was about to fall asleep, however, she heard a knock on the door. Eli immediately got up and opened it, thinking that it would be rude to keep whoever it was waiting. Much to her surprise, it was Nozomi who was on the other side, rubbing her arms to keep herself warm.

"Nozomi, hello…what brings you by?" She gently asked the girl.

"Good Evening, Eli. It's…rather cold out…and in my room. I was…wondering if I could stay here…with you." The purple haired lady shyly asked her. Eli's heart thumped loudly in her ears as she realized what she was asking. On one hand, it would seem indecent in the eyes of society. On the other…she IS her fiancée so…what could possibly be the harm in letting her stay with her for the night? She could always just reason that she was acting like a good fiancée.

"Of course you can stay with me." Eli gently said with a gentle and affectionate look in her eyes that no doubt made her love feel safe and secure. The pair entered the room once again and settled back into bed, the large mattress being more than able to comfortably accommodate them both. Eli shifted in her position until she wound up facing her betrothed. It turns out that Nozomi was facing in her direction as well, her emerald green eyes shining in the dark.

"Are you comfortable?" The blonde asked as she pulled her blanket further up to keep Nozomi warm.

"Yes. Thank you for letting me stay here." She said with a smile.

"Anything for you." Eli blurted out without a second thought, causing the purple haired lady to blush.

"Are you sure you're alright with our…arrangement?" Nozomi asked her in worry. Though they've been betrothed for months and were getting along well enough for them to determine that neither would have any problem with the prospect of spending the rest of their lives together, Eli knew that Nozomi still worried. Worried about disappointing both their parents. Worried about not being enough for her. Worried that she may make Eli's life miserable in the future. It was a bit disheartening to see but she vowed that she would do anything to stop her from feeling that way.

"Of course I am. I can't…imagine spending the rest of my life with someone else." She responded with such resolution. Their hands intertwined as they shared a quiet and intimate moment, lost in each others' eyes as the blizzard went on and the entire household was asleep. It was like it was just the two of them in the world. And Eli wouldn't trade this moment for anything.

"I love you."

Nozomi's eyes widened in surprised at her sudden declaration but at the same time, Eli can see the tears in her eyes.

"And I love you as well, Eli." She said with a smile as her tears finally escaped her eyes. The moment she said those words, Eli felt as if she could take on anything. If Death himself tried to take her now, she would fight him off until he realizes that she still has to live. She would fight off Death if it meant she would get to stay with Nozomi and make her the happiest woman in the world. The blonde woman propped herself up on her hands, trapping her love beneath her and using one hand to cup her cheek before she leaned down…

That was also the night they shared their first kiss…

"Huh…make her the happiest woman in the world. All you did was make her miserable." She muttered to herself in a bitter manner as she stopped walking. When Eli finally broke from her musings, she realized just now that she managed to walk herself to Kanda Myojin. In a daze, no less. That's gotta be a new record for her. The blonde Russian saw two people walking down the steps and she immediately hid herself when she realized who they were.

Toudou Erena and Yuuki Anju.

Truth be told, she had no quarrel or problems with the two A-RISE members or A-RISE in general. It's just…seeing Erena brings back bad memories of her first life. Bad memories and an immense amount of guilt.

The reason? It's because Erena was the woman she was having an affair with in her first life. It wasn't even something she meant to happen. But then again, that's what all cheating bastards say, right? 'I didn't mean for it to happen.' She was just someone she met on a business errand for her father in another country. She liked to justify to herself the reason she did what she did back then was because Erena reminded her so much of Nozomi, whom she was missing at the time. Eli made the mistake of having a one night stand with her…only for Erena conduct a month long business where Eli lived. After that, Eli's life went to hell in a hand basket. Solely because she was stupid enough to not resist Erena's appeal.

When Eli met Erena's current incarnation in UTX Academy, she was nervous, angry but most of all, she just wanted absolutely nothing to do with Erena out of fear that history would repeat itself, even if she doesn't remember her first life. Luckily, Eli was an expert at hiding her real feelings and so she acted polite to her. However, she was also happy for Erena; the purple haired UTX student was clearly enjoying a loving relationship with Yuuki Anju, so Eli doesn't have to necessarily worry about her. When the pair was away without even noticing her, Eli headed upstairs to the shrine itself, deciding to maybe pray to the gods for…something…anything that could help, really. Just as she reached the top, however, she immediately stopped in her tracks.

Nozomi was standing there in street clothes, praying at the shrine. Clearly, she was just finishing her maiden duties. Before Eli could run away, however, she turned around and their eyes met. Left with no other choice, the blonde approached her.

"Hi, Elicchi." She said with a smile. However, Eli can see that her smile was painfully faked. Unlike the flawless fake ones she usually uses when she has a problem.

"Hey." The blonde greeted. An awkward silence enveloped them; something that hasn't happened since they were first years just getting to know each other. Eli decided to speak up to break the awkwardness.

"Listen…about earlier…I-"

"Is it true?" Nozomi asked her as her gaze went to the stone floor of the shrine. "Is it true that…you're not in love with me?"

There it is; the huge elephant in the shrine. Eli was once again conflicted with herself; deny what she said earlier and admit that she loves Nozomi more than anything in the world or break her heart now and save her life. Before she can answer, she felt a hand cup her cheek. When she looked up, she could've sworn she was about to have a heart attack…

Nozomi was suddenly kissing her on the lips.

Unable to help herself and realizing that this may very well be the last time she could feel this, Eli pulled her closer and kissed her back with all the love and passion she could muster. Eventually, they pulled away from one another and Eli realized just now what this meant. And so, she knows what must be done.

"I…I can't…I'm sorry, Nozomi." She said as she inched away from her and tears fell freely from her eyes. It broke her heart to see Nozomi rooted to where she was standing, crying her eyes out at the rejection Eli was giving her.

"I'm so sorry." Eli repeated before she finally ran off, leaving the purple haired shrine maiden standing there. Once she was able to reach a good distance away, Eli stopped. She was at a playground in a residential area. The blonde haired girl staggered towards a swing and basically collapsed there before she finally allowed herself to cry her eyes out.

Her heart has never felt so shattered before compared to how shattered it is now…

AN: And that's it for this chapter. A little IMPORTANT side note, in regards to the flashback sequence, you'll noticed that I called their past lives by the names of Eli and Nozomi. Now I'm not saying this was also their names in that life, in fact, I'm leaving all that to you; whatever their names may have been back then, I'll leave that to your imagination. I just used the names "Eli" and "Nozomi" to make things easier for me.

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this. Thanks for reading. See y'all in the next chapter! Firework out! :D