A/N: Just a little one shot I thought would be fun to write. A dose of action and crude, suggestive humor and language. Dialogue heavy. This is in no way meant to be taken in any other way but for laughs and possible secondhand embarrassment. I apologize in advance for Hidan. Enjoy~
Rated M for strong language and situations
Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto
FIGHT CLUB
...
Sakura sat patiently as the blue haired female wrapped her hands in white bandages carefully binding between her fingers. She gave her thanks as the woman, Konan was her name, secured her black fingerless gloves onto her feminine, yet unreasonably strong hands.
Konan smiled delicately to the younger genius female. She angled her faced to the side as she studied Sakura carefully, who held her hair tie between her lips as she attempted to fix her hair, forgetting to do so earlier.
"Need help?"
Sakura sheepishly smiled back. "Please."
"Of course."
Konan pulled the hair tie from the Sakura's lips and moved to stand behind her. She combed her hair back with her slim fingers, making sure each strand was carefully held back before tying her hair securely. Naturally, Sakura's fringe slid from the grasp and took to framing her face.
"Thanks, Konan-san."
"Anytime. Now get out there and show him who's boss."
"You've got it!" The girl took to her feet throwing a few punches into the air. Another word of thanks left her lips as she headed over to the ring.
"Hey now!" A voice called out to her, prompting her to turn back in his direction as she slid underneath the arena ropes.
"Don't go too hard on him." Kisame grinned wildly. "He's still a baby."
"Won't have to," Sakura confidently retorted sticking her tongue out with a wink in response to the playful banter.
She took her stand opposite of the blond before her, the rest of the gang crowded around. They were a rowdy bunch, those Akatsuki, even more so when the beautiful medical student slash mixed martial artist, Sakura, was around.
It came as no surprise that they would halt their own training to watch two of their youngest hot heads fight it out, especially after the excitement of Sakura's last match with Sasori, which left the latter knocked out for a good few seconds.
Deidara challenging her wasn't unexpected either. After all, his ultimate goal was to prove he was superior to Sasori and what better way to do so than beating the person who managed to take him out, he reasoned.
"So the princess has finally decided to show... un."
Sakura grimaced at 'princess', hating the fragile connotation the title carried with it. She was painfully aware however, that this was how the Deidara provoked others.
"Alright," she sing-songed as she stepped towards him, gloved fists held out to him in gesture. "But just remember you asked for it. Don't go crying when I beat you."
Deidara smirked, his own fists lifting to roughly meet those of Sakura's. To them it was a sign that they were fighting as equals, neither belittling the other.
"Remember to fight fair, you two." Tho voice belonged to Pein, who was joined by Konan along the perimeter of the ring away from the rest of the group.
Both nodded affirmatively.
With a flick of his wrist, pain signaled for them to begin.
As soon as the command was unleashed, both Sakura and Deidara took up defensive stances, shuffling away from each other. Their light footwork was all that was heard as they danced around one another, studying one another's reflexes and movements.
Deidara was explosive in nature, quick on his feet and highly skilled in parry's. He was also well known to manage a mean blow when least expecting it. The blond also incorporated kickboxing into his training regimen as well as an assortment of martial arts involving strong and swift lower body strikes.
Sakura on the other hand, moved significantly slower and took on a more defensive approach. She was something of a hard hitter too-like a tank almost-with her heavy, blunt fist strikes that could easily knock someone out in just one punch. They were to be feared no doubt, but with Deidara's fighting style, he was practically set up to at least perform well so long as he wasn't struck.
Unfortunately Sakura's evasive, agile nature proved troublesome for Deidara. Even with his reach, Sakura managed to close in a few times, striking daintily before maneuvering away once more unscathed. Deidara, however, was beginning to see the pattern with her movements and decidedly planned a counterattack for the next time she tried the same stunt.
Right about... now!
Just then, Deidara's leg glided across the floor knocking Sakura down swiftly, her back slamming into the ring with a painful reverberating thud and a grimace. Not one to waste time, the blond quickly found himself pinning her down between his legs, her arms restrained just above her head in a compromising position.
"H-hey! That's against the rules, Dei. Get off me," she spat.
The others meanwhile watched on as the scene unfolded, no one daring to call out the broken rule.
"If you want me off so badly, then get me off you, yeah. I'm not gonna let you show me up the same way you did Sasori, un." An amused smirk graced his face.
Aggravated, Sakura called out. "Dei-chan!"
Deidara's grip tightened on her wrists. "What did you call me, PRINCESS?"
Hidan howled in laughter whist Kisame cackled at her attempts to rile him up in the worst way possible.
Sakura smirked, knowing she had him right where she wanted. "Deiiii-CHAN," she purred vexing.
Meanwhile the others watched on amused as an annoyed Deidara let his guard, lowering his face menacingly into the girl's face. A painful surprise awaited as the girl slammed her forehead into Deidara's face in just the right spot to send waves of pain all over as she released a "shannaro". He shut his eyes tight as the tears threatened to find their way out due to the sudden pressure and throbbing sensation. Losing his focus, he quickly found his position switching with Sakura as she climbed over him in his moment of distress, grounding her bottom just above Deidara's crotch.
Laughter madly erupted from the room at the sudden, yet expected situational turnout. Had Sakura looked over, she would be found a teary eyed Hidan and Kisame doubled over, almost rolling with laughter.
"How the tables have turned..." Konan spoke through an amused smile.
After a few disgruntled mutters, Deidara found his eyes widening realizing Sakura's placement as he stared down at her waist. His eyes slowly followed upwards to the girl smirking victoriously above him. They narrowed slightly as his baby blues made contact with her emerald eyes.
"Get off me, will ya, un?"
"No."
"Saku-chan," his voice lowered so that only she could hear him. "This is uncomfortable, yeah? Now get off me already." His pleas were so deathly silent, to onlookers only his lips could be read.
The girl shook her head, grinding her hips into him as she tried to force more of her weight on him. Sakura leaned forward slightly, angling herself so that her ear was closer to Deidara's mouth. Unbeknownst to her was the discomfort she was causing the poor blond down there.
Said blond stifled a groan at the movement that left him unintentionally aroused, causing Sakura to raise an eyebrow. "What'd you say?"
Deidara subtly readjusted his position, hoping to relieve the unwelcome distress. "Get. Off. Me. Please." A low growl emitted from his throat, music to Hidan's ears as he started to bounce on his feet with interest.
Sakura turned her head curiously towards Deidara who appeared in pain and pleading, their lips remarkably close to each other. She studied Deidara and how his short breaths hitched before losing focus at the boisterous voice of Hidan.
"Oh for the love of Jashin, get a fucking room!" Hidan's voice suddenly erupted, causing Sakura to promptly turn her body surprised.
Quick as he could, Deidara shoved her off and hurried to the men's locker room muttering curses, his ears and face flushed red. For once, he appreciated the man that was Hidan.
Sakura, confused when outrageous laughter erupted from Kisame and Hidan, stayed thrown on the ground as Deidara had left her watching him retreat in an uncomfortable oddly stiff run.
Meanwhile Sasori smirked in all his glory, basking in the embarrassment and anger of the blond he tolerated only a little.
Itachi, who stood leaning against the gym wall had his eyes shut and his head turned away as if nothing happened. Typical.
"Don't be jealous, Hidan! I'll give you a good pounding next time if that's what you want."
"Oh?" A lascivious smirk made itself apparent. "Well you can do me any time, baby. I'll be here all fucking day." A lecherous grin spread across his face a she gestured a thrusting motion.
"Keep it up and I'll make sure you bleed, pervert."
Hidan bounced on his feet at this with an even greater grin accompanied with something of maniacal laughter. "Why you kinky little bitch. You sure do know how to turn me on! I might just take you on the floor right now with an offer like that. And who are you to call me a pervert after that little show just now?"
Sakura chucked her towel at Hidan in irritation. "That's harassment. And I have no idea what you're talking about. Anyway, what happened to Deidara? Did I embarrass him so badly he had to go cry in the locker room?"
The room turned quiet as a room of disbelieving eyes and overly amused smirks filled the air. Even Itachi gave a little huff as his eyebrows knitted and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards.
"You mean to tell us you didn't NOTICE?" Kisame asked slinging an arm around Sakura's shoulder as she walked with a water bottle in hand Konan passed to her only a few moments back.
"Notice what?" She opened the water bottle, pressing it to her lips.
"You gave little blond bitch baby a fucking hard-on!" Hidan shouted unnecessarily loud, drawing the attention of other gym goers.
"What?!" Sakura spat, choking on the water she had been drinking. She was sent into a mad coughing fit prompting Kisame to slap her on the back a few times.
"The poor kiddo. Kami knows his mind wasn't even in the gutter." Though Kisame found himself feeling sympathetic for their friend he couldn't help laughing heartily at his expense.
Laughter erupted from Hidan even more disturbingly. "Bull-fucking-shit, Sharkie! Girly Boy is still a guy at the end of the day. Oh Jashin, I'm dying over here," he cackled.
With a firm knock to the back of Hidan's head, Konan managed to shut the silver haired man up. "He's definitely not that type of guy," Konan added to Kisame's statement. She only wanted him to lose the fight, not his dignity.
Itachi gave one firm nod in agreement. "Hn."
"The brat got what he deserves," Sasori matter-of-factly said. "But on a more interesting note, I'm supposed to believe that you, a med student, were not expecting that to happen?"
"Well he was wearing a cup, wasn't he? He couldn't have felt me through it," she spoke strained, still recovering from her choking incident.
The moment of silence that followed caused confusion in Sakura, but Hidan in tears with a choked silent laugh was enough to tell her she was missing something.
"Innocent," Sasori sighed. "Sweetheart, you have a lot to learn. I can teach you everything you need to know if you'd like."
Hidan raised a brow. "Eh? Fuck's little Pinocchio talking about? She needs a man, not a boy. What are you even, twelve?"
"Thirty."
"Yeah, yeah. And I'm smart. No need to lie. We're all friends here."
"W-wait, that can still happen with a cup on?" Sakura interrupted, her thoughts trying to catch up.
The males exchanged nods across the room at her question.
"It's hella painful when wearing one, actually." Hidan shrugged dismissively.
"Uncomfortable more so," Sasori admitted.
Kisame grinned slyly, curiosity truly piqued. "Has it happened to you before, Sasori?"
"In any case, the brat is probably frustrated right now," Sasori responded, ignoring the question. "I appreciate what you've done, Sakura. I'll offer you information on personal life of Uchiha Sasuke as a reward."
Itachi's eyes narrowed at the redhead. "No. You won't."
"Your brother complex means nothing to me, Itachi. She earns what she earns."
"Leave him out of this."
Just then, Deidara's voice boomed from the locker room. "Damn it! How do I get this thing off?!"
"I-I'll go see if he needs help," Sakura suggested. She felt slightly bad that this was her fault. As she began to make off, Itachi called out to her.
"Haruno-san. I'll take you on next time. Train hard; I won't be going easy on you."
Sakura nodded firmly. "Understood, cap'n." She hurried off less than a second later, leaving behind a party of laughing, crying, and stunned individuals.
Hidan's eyebrows shot up in interest. "Oh? How exactly does she plan on helping him?"
"Don't be so crude, Hidan," Konan reprimanded. "She's a med-student after all, best one for the job. . . ."
END
A/N: I apologize again for Hidan. I love him so much, but the guy's got issues, let's be honest. Anyhoots, I hope you enjoyed this little read. I for sure enjoyed writing it in all its horrendous, cringe-y glory. Let me know your thoughts and if I should try writing more things like this :)
Also, for those following my other story, For the Heir, please note that the genre is likely to change from romance. It's been a long time since I've updated and I've thought the story over a lot. For me to complete it and feel at peace with the story, I don't think me focusing on a romantic route is the way to go for plot reasons and inexperience with writing romance. I hope to update soon with more info, so please continue with your support if you like the story so far!