Back at the hospital, things hadn't gone well for Nicki. Not after Steve and Danny had left. She had been left alone, in the one place that she absolutely despised the most. She had tried to keep a positive outlook, reminding herself that there was an active case, and that Steve was where he needed to be, where the team needed him to be…but not where she needed him to be. She had tried to steel her resolve, telling herself that it would all be over soon, then they would be back to keep her company…and to keep the ghosts and the memories at bay. Then it occurred to Nicki that she was slipping back to a place that she had so desperately fought to escape long before…and she knew she had to leave. She tried to sign herself out again, but this time, her doctor absolutely refused.

"Nicki, are you serious? You just suffered a massive trauma, followed by a near-fatal brain hemorrhage, and then the emergency surgery that followed. You are lucky to be alive! That said, there is no way possible that you will be leaving this hospital any time soon. We need to be able to monitor you and your vitals constantly to ensure that the work the neurosurgeon did in your brain holds. Any sort of excess stress or activity could cause a new bleed to break loose, and there is a very high probability that a repeat will kill you. That, and you are still recovering from the other injuries you sustained in the fall. Get comfortable, missy. You're going to be our guest for a while." With that said, he left, and Nicki started to come apart at the seams. She could already hear the voices…it was only a matter of time before she started seeing the ghosts.

Burrowing beneath the blanket on her bed, Nicki closed her eyes, desperately trying to find a way to drown out the incessant voices as she was reminded how many friends she had lost. They were unrelenting; so many different voices and tones were calling her name, crying for help, pleading to be able to live. She was drowning in her own mind. She tried, with everything she had, to bring herself back to the present, back to here and now and away from the voices of the dead, but it was too late. She was too deep. She was trapped.

Giving in to the fear, Nicki let loose with a heartbreaking wail, a cry so full of despair and pain and grief that all activity on the floor stopped, everyone present looking at each other mutely as another howl tore through the silence, then another…and another. Nurses started going in and out of the room as much as possible, speaking to the terrified and crying woman in an effort to bring her out of it, but to no avail. Her doctor returned, and upon finding her unresponsive and her vitals completely unstable, he made the dangerous decision to have her sedated in an effort to stabilize her.

The sedation calmed her vitals to a degree, but not the nightmares. Not the memories. She writhed and moaned, thrashed and cried as the ghosts of her past haunted her relentlessly, leaving the doctor with the difficult decision of restraining her, and even placing her in a medically induced coma. He called the neurosurgeon to Nicki's room to discuss the dangers, and their conversation became so heated that they had to move into the hallway as nurses held the struggling woman down in an effort to keep her from causing herself further harm.

It was at this point that Five-0 made it to the hospital, and both Danny and the suspect were brought to the same floor as Nicki was. As the doctor and the neurosurgeon argued, the double doors at the end of the hallway swung open, revealing the stretcher now bearing Danny Williams as Steve followed close behind. Kono and Chin were escorting the other stretcher, keeping an eye on both the suspect and their boss as they did so. Danny and Steve were arguing back and forth like usual when Nicki's doctor spotted them.

"Commander! I need to speak with you immediately. It's about Ms. Shad…" Giving the doctor a rather bored look, Steve continued walking behind Danny's stretcher, intending to wait on word of his partner's condition before worrying about his teammate that was already there.

"I'm sure it can wait for a little while, Doc. My partner has been shot, and I'd like to get an idea of his condition before I worry about Nicki again, since she's already here and her care is in the best hands possible." The doctor slammed an arm out in front of the former SEAL, bringing him to a quick halt as he stared at the big man intently. He opened his mouth, about to tell Steve just how badly things had gone since he had rushed out, but he didn't get the chance. A long, painful wail interrupted him, rising to a blood-curdling scream that literally echoed through the building. Steve's eyes snapped up and around, a look of shock on his face as the doctor sadly looked towards Nicki's room.

"You don't understand, Commander. Ms. Shad's condition is now critical, and she's getting worse. Please, come with me." Steve stared after him in disbelief for a second before hurrying to follow him. When the door opened to Nicki's room, the former SEAL felt his heart drop into his boots. She was fully restrained now, with special padded leather restraints designed to prevent further harm as she trembled and cried on the bed.

In an instant, Steve was there, shedding his vest and gloves and throwing both aside as he took her right hand gently. His gaze was focused on her face, and the doctor swore he saw the big man tear up. Slowly, Steve sat in the chair, rubbing circles on the back of her hand gently as her cries grew in intensity.

"Easy Nicki…" His voice, deep and soothing, filled the air, and for just a second, she stilled. He spoke louder and more urgently when her thrashing started anew.

"Nicki, it's okay. It's Steve. I'm here. I'm here…don't worry about the ghosts. Don't listen to the voices. They're dead, and they're gone. They aren't real anymore. I am. Come back to me, sweetheart. Come back to me." She stilled again, her cries having softened in volume before she went quiet, seemingly content to listen to him speak. He continued, well aware of how soothing she had always found his voice.

"That's it, good job, Nicki. I'm here. Hey, I'm sorry I left…but I had to go. I had to get the guy that did this to you. Don't worry, we got him. Danny got hit but he'll be okay, I think. I beat the hell out of the guy for you. He won't forget me, or you, in a hurry. He'll never hurt Five-0, or anyone else ever again. I swear it." Steve said, still rubbing her hand gently as she settled even further, her body relaxing as her vitals finally stabilized. The Five-0 Commander continued speaking softly and soothingly, not really paying attention to what he said. It was only important that he continued speaking, that he reminded Nicki that he was there, that he would always be there, and that she would never be alone.

Hours had passed, and Steve still sat at Nicki's side, her hand still clutched in his. He was still speaking softly, rambling now about random news articles and who had won what professional sport that day…night…whatever. Her condition had been stable for so long that the doctor was more than happy to stop the sedatives and remove the restraints. Nicki was sleeping quietly, now, her silver blonde hair wild where it splayed across her pillow as Steve studied her calmly. Suddenly it occurred to him that he was alone, and outside of the occasional nurse or doctor swinging by to check in and make sure she was doing alright, the hospital was dead quiet. Holding her hand a little tighter, he took in a deep breath, looking around one last time before he looked at her face.

"Hey Nicki, listen…there's something I need to tell you. It's…it's about what we were talking about right before I had to leave. You said something to me, something that truly shocked me, and I didn't know how to respond. Unfortunately, my sudden departure didn't help matters…not at all. I…I know how much I hurt you, Nicki, and I'm so sorry. I truly didn't...didn't mean to. Actually, while we're on that topic, there's something I need to tell you." Here he paused to breathe, looking away for a few moments to gather his thoughts, and his courage, before he continued to speak.

"You and I…we're really good together. I've never…felt this way for someone…not the way I feel about you. You walk into the room, and I want to be near you. When you are hurt, I want to hold you. When someone harms you…I want to kill for you. I want to be the man you come home to. I want to be the man you turn to when you feel like it's all gone wrong. I want to be the man you love. I just don't know…what it is you want of me." Steve turned away again, unable to speak further because of the big lump in his throat, and unable to see because of the tears misting his eyes. As he had spoken, it had hit him just how much he wanted to be everything Nicki ever wanted, and everything she ever needed. It was just as terrifying as it was exhilarating, and he realized he felt lighter, like he had a weight off of his shoulders.

Don't know why…I'll have to tell her all this again, when she's awake. And when I've got the nerve… The big SEAL thought, gusting a heavy sigh out of his chest before turning to look back at Nicki's face. He found himself staring into eyes the color of a winter storm, and as bright as the stars. They stared at each other for several long, heart stopping seconds, before Steve realized something.

"You heard…everything, didn't you?" Those eyes watched him, unchanging, unflinching, for what felt like forever. The small nod that followed made him freeze as all the blood left his face and went straight to his shoes.

Oh, shit.

A/N: Aaaannnddd chapter! I think this one is just about my favorite so far. Panic attack followed by honest admissions that may not have been quite so honest, if only Steve had known Nicki was awake. Oops. XD

As always, love if you will, hate if you must. I will take anything that you care to dispense.

Until we meet again...

Kani