6. Bitter Taste

A cold shiver ran through his spine as he paced around the frozen garden of the castle. He looked up and only saw grey in the early morning sky. He sighed, heavily.

"I guess it's already the time of the year that makes it though for the outside-roaming cats like me" he mumbled to himself.

"You mean because of the cold?"

Obi jumped in surprise. Just like a cat, his senses decreased with the coming of the sunlight, so he couldn't hear the person approaching. As Obi turned to look and recognize him, he gave him the credit of not being a particularly noisy person at all.

Apart from having a rather introspective and quiet personality, "little Ryuu" had developed long, slender limbs that enabled him to rapidly sneak into the deepest corners of the Lyrias library, though his height -about as tall as Obi himself- gave him away wherever he was.

"I don't think it's the cold itself, but the countless layers of clothes you have to wear to be outside. It gets really difficult to move, you see, little Ryuu" said Obi as he approached the boy with a side grin.

Though he could be already be considered a young man now, the now Head Pharmacist and Researcher of Lyrias would forever be a little boy for Obi, no matter how many years passed. Though Obi called him like this, the boy didn't seem to mind.

"For example" Obi continued on his lecture "To be able to stand guard up in the castle walls for at least four hours, you should put on a hat and two more cloaks over the one you already have."

Ryuu hummed quietly in response. Obi was used to his silent way of communication, and knew there was more to their encounter than it being a casual thing. He'd learned that the best way when treating with Ryuu was to ask directly and strike dead on the subject.

"What brings you here to this damn cold area of the castle, little Ryuu?" He said, his feet idly pacing on the snow.

"I am looking for Shirayuki" Said the boy.

Obi startled and almost stumbled over his own steps.

"Have you seen her? One of the newcomer soldiers seems to be developing some sort of breathing pathology and we need to review our previous diagnosis"

Obi widened his eyes in recognition and managed to throw in a response

"Umm...Have you checked in the auxiliary pharmacy restroom?"

The truth was that Obi knew exactly where Mistress was at the moment. Last night, as he went to check up on Master just before he started his night shift, he saw Shirayuki enter the royal bedroom a few steps ahead of him, carrying a tray with tea. He patiently waited in the hallway for five minutes, but the door didn't open again, and the light he could see under the door didn't turn off. She never left the room where Master was, and they stayed awake.

"I haven't. I'll go check now. Thanks, Obi" Ryuu turned around without waiting for a reply, something he did quite often when he was in a hurry.

As he watched Ryuu's back moving away, Obi sighed in relief. In a way, he felt like a lame older brother. His mind couldn't possibly figure the way to address those sorts of issues with little Ryuu. He sincerely hoped the boy would take his time searching for her, because he'd already run out of other places to suggest.

The pale whiteness of the morning light made his eyes sting. Damn, he should start closing the curtains of the bedroom at night. He was distracted by a sudden movement beneath him. A bright red mane was brushing against his chest as a little whimper came from under it. His wife was having a bad dream.

"Shirayuki. Shirayuki, wake up."

He gently shaked her shoulder and got worried when he felt her skin covered in a cold sweat.

Her eyes finally opened, and for an instant, her expression was of pure fear. When she met eyes with a worried Zen, she calmed down and buried her face in his bare chest. She could hear his heartbeat, her dear husband's heartbeat. She breathed deeply against his skin.

"A bad dream? You want to tell me about it?" He whispered against her hair as he slowly caressed her sweaty back to calm her down. He remembered she used to have this kind of episodes when she was too stressed out at work in the castle pharmacy.

"No, it's alright, it's nothing." she lied. If anything, her chest felt crushed by fear. But now wasn't the time to tell him. Not yet. She wanted at least for their little piece of ephemeral happiness to last a little more.

"Then... is your body hurting? I mean from last ni-"

"No." She cut his speech, too immersed in the memories of her dream to even feel embarrassed.

In her nightmare, shadows from the Baylord clan broke into the castle and abducted her. Just like that time in Tanbarun, her captors ambushed her and Obi in the castle. But as they were taking her away, things took a turn for the worse: Obi was killed by them as he tried to protect her.

They took her to a foreign land, far away from her home and the people she held dear.

You will never return to Clarines. You belong with the peasantry, not with the royal family. You will never be next to the Prince again. We have better plans for you here up North.

She shivered at the memory of the words spoken to her in her nightmare. The shadows crept from every direction, covering her vision, turning everything black...

"Hey, are you really okay? You look pale." Zen took her face between his hands and looked her dead in the eye with a stern expression. "Was it really a nightmare or…? As I thought, I was too rough last night…"

This time Shirayuki did feel her cheeks heat up in embarrassment, and her chest tighten in annoyance.

"No! Gods, I told you, it's not that..Wh-why are you always like this?" She fumbled her words as she felt every inch of her skin turn redder than her hair.

"Like this? Like what?" he looked amused and truly unaware of the nature in her sudden change in behavior.

"You're always so composed and...and so..so…...polite! It's annoying"

His joking smile faded on his lips at her last words. She frowned and, closing her eyes in exhaustion, started to push against him to escape from his arms. She felt the urge to escape and be left alone, but then noticed she was still naked under the sheets and felt weak under his scrutinizing eyes.

"Shirayuki, that can't be what's possibly bothering you, is it? Please, tell me what's really wrong."

He tried to catch her arm but she struggled free and started tearing up, like a little girl throwing a tantrum.

He grew desperate, took her by the shoulders and shook her lightly

"Hey, it's not like you to do this. Talk to me."

He was right. This was not like her. And somehow that realization made her cringe. What was she even feeling annoyed for anyway? Because her husband was being kind to her? How stupid was that? Her mind was a hopeless mess.

The only thing she knew was that she felt miserable. How could she become so selfish in these past few months? Ever since he'd arrived, he kept on being attentive and caring to her. Her behavior had been nothing but that of a cold stone, as she struggled to avoid him as a petty way to protect herself from another eventual departure of his...and from the possibility of losing him forever.

She realized that their lovemaking from last night couldn't erase that chance so easily, and she suddenly grew desperate. What if this war took him from her for real? What would become of her? And...how could she possibly share her own insecurities and her own problems with the Baylord clan with him...A kind, loyal prince who had to shoulder the heavy burden of the lost lives of the soldiers who acted obeying his command?

She looked into his deep blue eyes and saw nothing but worriness. She couldn't hold that gaze of his any longer. The best was to wait until she put her thoughts together and then tell him eventually. After all, the threat was only known by a very small group of people and not even King Izana was aware yet.

This was not the right time, it was too soon and Zen had too much to handle already. She could at least do this for him.

Slowly, silently, she let go of his hands on her shoulders and, almost shyly looking down, turned her back on Zen and got up the bed. She quickly picked her camisole up from the floor and put it on as Zen stared at her in silent disbelief, a bitter taste caught in his throat.

She then picked her robe from the sofa and entered the bath room through an interconnecting door. Not a word was said, not from her, not from him.

As soon as she entered the bath room, she started crying her eyes out.

When she finished washing herself and entered the bedroom again, she saw Zen had already changed clothes and was sitting on a regal chair next to the fireplace.

He stared back intently at her and spoke in a low, stern tone he hardly ever used on her. "Is there something I can do about it?"

She felt the guilt roam through her veins.

"Not yet. Just... give me some time." She said in a ragged voice after a long cry.

"I see." Was all he said before getting up and limping out of the room, closing the door with a slam.

Inside, his mind was screaming in frustration. He didn't understand, he couldn't understand. His rest was over, he proclaimed. More than anything, he needed to put himself to work. It was the only way he knew to divert himself from the impotence that filled him to the core.

He wasn't mistaken when he felt a strange behavior from his wife ever since he arrived. Last night he felt her his, yes, but that feeling vanished the morning after. Something was up in Shirayuki's mind, making her distant and cautious, and she wasn't willing to share it with him.

He felt the bitter taste in his throat from the morning become into something like nausea, and a pulsing wave of uneasiness started to grow in his chest.

This was, indeed, not the welcoming home he'd been hoping for all those months in the cold. He wasn't the same man he was before leaving Wilant some months ago, and Shirayuki certainly wasn't the same woman he left either.

As he walked in a fast pace through the corridors, he bitterly realised that hoping things would stay the same during his time away had been a silly, silly wish.

-Lookie here who's back! I'm not even ashamed of posting this with this much delay, but I'll certainly keep on going with this work!

As always thank you all for your support, you're the ones that really keep this going! Read you guys soon.