A/N: You may be saying to yourself, "Haven't I seen this before?" Why, yes, but I decided to delete Love Live! Tumblr Prompts Project. This AU took on a life of its own, and so I believe it deserves to stand on its own. Anyway, this story will feature a lot of gender dysphoria on Eli's part, coming out to μ's and family members and facing transphobia from some of them, intimacy issues, trust issues, self-esteem issues, and maybe an M-rated chapter in the future. Some of this story will be lighthearted and quite a bit of it will not. That's life, and as a transgender man myself, I won't be sugarcoating stuff. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and leave some reviews.

Nozomi had never been one to enjoy labeling things. Take her tarot readings, for example. Whenever she drew the Death card, people usually immediately assumed the worst. However, in reality, the Death card was complex, just like any other card in the tarot deck, and could be interpreted in many ways. Nozomi usually interpreted it as the end of something, but an end that made room for a new beginning. It was quite poetic, and a card she felt she could relate to as a person also so often misunderstood. In keeping with this spirit, Nozomi attempted not to immediately label anyone in her life. Honoka wasn't just an airhead. Kotori wasn't just a pushover. Umi wasn't always a tyrant. Hanayo was more than just her shyness. There was more to Rin than her tomboyish exterior. There was more to Nico than self-aggrandizement. Maki wasn't just cold and prideful. And as for Eli...

Eli had certainly turned out to be more than Nozomi or any of her classmates could have guessed. The cold, strict and studious student council president could be dorky, shy, silly, funny, clueless, innocent, childish, spoiled and many other things. She was beautiful and handsome, with flowing blonde hair, long legs, a sizable bust, sharp facial features and icy blue eyes. Nozomi fell for her easily and instantly, and the more time she spent with her, the deeper Nozomi fell. Every quirk and imperfection made her more approachable, more human and more lovable. Nozomi wanted to be the one who knew Eli best, and she wanted one day to be Eli's bride. With these thoughts in mind, after high school graduation, Nozomi decided she couldn't keep silent anymore. The Death card was calling her to make a change. There would be an end, and a glorious new beginning. Nozomi was sure this referred to her relationship with Eli.

And she wasn't wrong. She also wasn't right.

Nozomi was a babbling mess, confessing to her love. She informed Eli that she hadn't labeled herself a lesbian, but was still sure about her romantic feelings for Eli. The blond listened intently to everything Nozomi had to say, cheeks growing redder by the minute. Nozomi was sure this meant her prospects were good, but was nervous regardless. Her intuition told her something was about to happen. She could feel the anticipation growing behind Eli's eyes. The quarter Russian had something to say.

"Nozomi, I can't accept your feelings."

Perhaps Nozomi should reconsider the possible negative readings of the Death card.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I have romantic feelings for you, too. That is to say, I would love to go out with you."

Now Nozomi was just confused. How did she know there was a "but" approaching? And why was a "but" approaching?

"It's just that… Nozomi, there's something I need to tell you. Something neither you, nor anyone else, knows about me. We're both adults now, though, and it's about time we begin living our lives honestly and authentically."

Nozomi didn't exactly calm down, but the thumping of her heart and the dropping of her stomach did slow. Of course, as her best friend, Nozomi would listen.

"I guess I should start by saying that I love μ's, and I loved performing with everyone. And I certainly didn't lie to Honoka when I explained to her why we third years couldn't continue being school idols. But there was more to it than that."

Nozomi felt a small pang when she realized there were things Eli hadn't been telling her about. She wanted to be the person Eli told everything to.

"In my own way, I was able to find enjoyment in performing and dressing up in Kotori's handcrafted outfits. She put so much effort into making them... plus, I was a ballerina, and I loved it... and of course, I have attended all-girl schools and worn skirts all my life... But something always felt off. Among all the pink and the skirts, my body changing and maturing, I felt like I was being left behind. Like I was somewhat... detached from it all."

Nozomi nodded and made a reassuring sound so that Eli would know it was alright to continue. The pause gave Nozomi enough time to think that she had no idea where Eli could be going with this.

"When we performed Love Wing Bell, and we all dressed up as grooms and convinced Rin to be the center and bride, the wheels in my head finally began to spin. I was raised in a very conservative Russian Orthodox household and wasn't exposed to the LGBT community, but that was more out in the open for me to see here in Japan."

Nozomi smiled and nodded, once more reconsidering that the Death card could be taking her somewhere pleasant after all. She thought back to the Love Wing Bell performance, when Hanayo had basically proclaimed her love for Rin. They were young and innocent, but Nozomi would keep an eye on them and provide the necessary push when the time was right. And, Nozomi thought of how Eli had looked so handsome that a talent scout offered her a modeling position on the spot as they were taking pictures.

"I did a lot of research on the topic and couldn't really find anything that resonated with me until I came across a forum in a website about certain Thai products... I ordered one, and it worked better than I thought it would. It looked really, really great, actually and... Since we're here, I might as well show you, actually."

Eli got up from her bed where the two had been seated, stealthily grabbed something from her closet, and disappeared into her bathroom. Nozomi took the time to try and figure out where Eli was headed with all of that talking, but she really couldn't piece anything together. Eli emerged from the bathroom more quickly than Nozomi had expected.

At first, Nozomi didn't notice any difference. Eli hadn't changed outfits or hairstyle, and visibly grew restless as Nozomi stared. Eli made a full turn once, twice, thrice, and it finally clicked for Nozomi.

"Your chest looks flatter."

"Yeah. It's called a chest binder. It's meant for people who aren't comfortable with the size of their chest, its appearance and its... well, its movement and such. I haven't worn it outside my bedroom and I've hid it deep inside my closet. And well, what I had been trying to tell you, Nozomi, is—"

Eli sat back down on her bed, looking Nozomi straight in the eyes. Hesitant green and resolute blue stared at each other for several seconds before Eli spoke.

"It's called transgender, Nozomi. I thought long and hard about it, and it just makes so much sense. There are a lot of things I want to do. In Japan, I could change my name and sex marker if I undergo therapy and hormones and surgery in Thailand. I like Ilya, which is the Russian equivalent of the English name Elijah. I'd still be Eli, just pronounced differently. So... so I'm a boy, Nozomi. And I can't accept your feelings because the feelings you have right now are for someone you thought you knew, but doesn't exist. I know you said you're not a lesbian, but... And for that reason, you deserve to know who I really am."

Nozomi had never been one to enjoy labeling things, and especially not labeling people. She knew other people had labels that they were comfortable using, but she avoided them for herself. She didn't want to even try to pin down her sexuality with a word. Her gender, on the other hand, hadn't gone into consideration. There had never been any exploration, any pondering like there had been with her sexuality. She took it for granted that she was simply a girl. She took it for granted that she could just label all her friends as girls. Except, now, Eli. Elijah. Ilya.

Nozomi was silent for a very long time. A terrifyingly long time, in Eli's opinion. He stared at his lap, unsure of what to do or say. He couldn't rightly leave, as Nozomi was his best friend, and a guest in his house. He couldn't ask her to leave, for to suddenly invest this information on her and then pushed her away would be foolish and—although he would hate to consider the possibility—potentially dangerous. No one else knew, after all, and Eli wanted it to stay that way.

When Nozomi finally looked up, Eli's head snapped up and their eyes met. Nozomi's smile, although always radiant and breathtaking, soothed Eli now more than ever before.

"Elijah, huh?"

And Eli felt tears pooling in his eyes, but not the kind he had feared he would be shedding. Always the spoiled one, Eli flung himself forward, and Nozomi automatically opened her arms, ready to welcome her best friend into them as she had done many times before. Never had a hug been this bone-crushingly intense, but Nozomi happily endured as Eli sobbed onto Nozomi's chest. The hug felt very different, not because of the information Eli had shared but because of the lack of pillowy cushions against her own chest. Nozomi frowned. It would take some getting used to, no doubt. As a Washi Washi master, this was somewhat troubling, but Nozomi would never do anything to make her friends truly and deeply uncomfortable. The other members of μ's had complained and made a show of trembling in fear, but all involved were aware it was lighthearted teasing and fun. Nozomi would need time to change her behaviors and ways of thinking about things, but it was worth it for someone like Eli.

Eli pulled back after several minutes, sniffling and smiling broadly. Nozomi smiled back, though it was tense from the absorption of so much new information. Eli's smile weakened when he remembered how he had wanted to finish the conversation.

"I want you to know that although I hoped we would still be best friends, I didn't expect you to immediately decide on whether or not you still have romantic feelings for me. You can take as much time as you need. This must be overwhelming and really shocking, so take all the time you—mmph!"

Eli had not been expecting a pair of lips to silence his in an intense kiss, but he couldn't find it in himself to complain. As Nozomi had thought before, he was content allowing things to simply happen. When Nozomi finally pulled away, Eli was met with a very confident and radiant smile, the kind he rarely saw on Nozomi's face. Genuine smiles that reached those green eyes and made them sparkle were very rare indeed, and it made his heart thump at speeds that even the nerves of coming out to Nozomi had been unable to reach.

"I told you I didn't label my sexuality, Elicchi," Nozomi said, stressing the difference in pronunciation, "and I don't want you to believe any differently from what I said. I love you. And I love you: the handsome, goofy, determined, responsible, childish person I've known for three years now. That person is still sitting here before me. And I want him"—the name had made Eli smile but the pronoun stretched it from ear to ear—"to be my boyfriend. I-if he'll have me, of course."

Eli felt absolutely giddy. He had been so nervous he could have never imagined a shy, blushing Nozomi would ask such a thing of him. And as he clamped his hands down on her shoulders and pulled her in for another kiss, he was sure he had made the right choice.

Nozomi had known the real him all along, and now, she just knew even more. And if he was lucky, she would have a lifetime to get to know him even better. And of course, the reverse would be true as well.

The end of one relationship and the beginning of another had nearly seamlessly blended together, and stretched now into the endless horizon.