CHAPTER ?: Headache

Kakashi opened his eyes with a rattling gasp, his pale eyelashes fluttering as he took in his surroundings.

He was in the hospital.

His mask had been pulled down to his neck, another clear one providing him with oxygen. Looking up feverishly, he saw that an IV bag was hanging on a steel rod next to his bed, connecting to his sore wrists with a series of tubes.

The Hatake began to panic without realizing that someone was sitting next to him, not knowing how else to react to the immense amount of pain he'd been bombarded with right upon waking up. He inhaled deeply in several shaky, pained segments, his face twisting into a look of despair.

He jerked himself up with difficulty, willing himself to wake up from this nightmare and be back in his home.

"Kakashi?" Yamato began, sitting up in his seat as he heard his friend's distress, glancing at the increased heart rate through the monitor, "Calm down...shhh."

He gently pushed the man back into bed and started to stroke his unruly, silver hair backwards, smiling slightly when he relaxed into the touch, his facial expression becoming somewhat peaceful for a few seconds. However, Kakashi soon jerked away with a grimace, not wanting anyone to mess with his pounding head.

Yamato frowned, not really knowing how to help. He watched as Kakashi curled into himself, his brows scrunched in discomfort. The Hatake felt a thick veal of phlegm resting in his throat, experiencing the incessant desire to breathe in large, gulping amounts of fresh air. His ribs were tender to the touch, and a chronic heaviness pushed down on his chest.

"Tenzo?" he brought out with great difficulty, fogging up the mask, his body shivering as if it were freezing inside the room, "What's...u-up?"

The said man blinked at the name, slightly taken aback, as he also couldn't fathom how Kakashi was able to ask him how he was doing in such a haggard state.

"Well, I can't say I'm happy right now, given that you're here, but don't worry about me. How are you feeling?"

Kakashi closed his burning eyes and coughed several times in a row, his brows furrowing.

"Could be better," he rasped, smirking slightly. Suddenly, he pulled off his oxygen mask, hacking wetly, his face completely straight, as if he were used to such a concerning sound.

Yamato raised an eyebrow, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Is there any way I could help you right now? Anything I could do?"

"No...it's okay."

The younger man relaxed in his chair contemplatively, before quickly remembering that he'd brought his old friend a present.

"Senpai...I actually brought you something," he started, reaching into a backpack by his feet on the floor. He pulled out a green, shuriken patterned blanket, one that the Hatake immediately recognized as his own.

Yamato got up from his seat, opening up the sheets and spreading them over the white ones that were already on the bed, until they covered Kakashi's willowy form.

"Thanks," Kakashi whispered with a genuine smile. He drew the covers up to his nose and took a deep whiff. It smelled like home, and somehow that made him feel better.

"Wait...there might be something you could do for me."

The Hatake's gaze met Yamato's, his eye glistening with an unspoken emotional pain.

"Are you alright? What is it?" Yamato questioned hurriedly, his brows furrowing as he realized that Kakashi was being more vulnerable than usual, and seemed as if he were on the brink of tears.

"I…" he started with a lump in his throat, his voice cracking, visible eye glossing over. He glared up at the ceiling, shaking his head.

"Kakashi…" Yamato spoke sympathetically, gently reaching for the said man's frail hand in a gesture of reassurance. He'd never seen his superior in such a state, and wanted to be there for him as best as he could.

"I...want to visit Rin and Obito...and my Dad," Kakashi said finally, having difficulty finding the right words, "I need to."

Yamato sighed, his visage twisting into a look of guilt. "You're not doing so well right now...I don't think it would be smart to leave the hospital."

The Hatake stayed silent, averting his eyes, knowing he literally didn't have the strength to sneak out himself. He desperately needed to speak with those precious people who he'd lost, to talk about his troubles, and the fear of dying that was festering in his heart.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi."

Sighing at the useless apology, Kakashi let his eyes droop, his whole demeanor becoming noticeably withdrawn and forlorn. Yamato didn't understand—no one did.

They sat in silence for a good half an hour. Kakashi had drifted off into a sleep-like state, like he always did these days.

Suddenly, he gasped, crying out unintelligibly.

His senses having reawakened at the worrying noise, Yamato noticed the beeping from the heart monitor become acutely faster, and upon looking at the bed, he saw that Kakashi was staring at the window with wide eyes, the muscles in his neck grossly strained.

"Is everything okay?" Yamato started, touching his stiff shoulder, "Hey, are you alright?!"

Without warning, he began to convulse, crumpling into a seizure.

His arms repeatedly hit the railing on the sides of the bed, his legs jerking uncontrollably and tangling up the sheets. Kakashi's eyes were distant, far away, but still widening slightly every time his limbs painfully collided with the metal sides of the bed.

Yamato stepped back in shock, feeling sick to his stomach. He ran for the door, fumbling to open it with clammy, tremulous fingers.

"HELP! Someone help!" he cried out, grabbing the attention of a myriad of nurses going about their business in the hallway. Two middle-aged women hurried inside, going straight for the bed.

Putting his face in his hands, Yamato attempted to slow his breathing, which had become somewhat fast due to the intense anxiety he was suffering at that moment. As he heard Kakashi choke on his own spit, and gasp like he was a fish on land, a nauseating worry brewed within him.

"Pushing two mg of lorazepam," one of the nurses said, working quickly to inject him with a syringe filled with a clear fluid.

He panted, struggling against their tight hold unconsciously.

Kakashi gradually stopped seizing, however he was white as a ghost, with a tinge of blue to his lips. It was clear by the way his brows were furrowed, and how strained and rattled his breathing was, that the whole ordeal had taken a huge toll on his body.

Yamato watched as a nurse turned him onto his side, the other one wiping the frothy drool draining out of his mouth. It was like Kakashi was just another faceless patient they were treating.

The man was trembling in pain, and Yamato just wanted to save him from anything that could possibly harm him, but he couldn't. Feeling a growing lump in his throat, he headed out of the room, into the hallway. He wiped furiously at his eyes, his chest pounding as he hurried to nowhere in particular, not even aware of who was in his way.

Suddenly, he felt himself collide into someone.

"Yamato?"

Looking up, he saw that it was Gai.

"Are you...okay?"

Yamato wiped his face dry, attempting to catch his breath. "I-I was with Kakashi and...and he started...he…"

He shook his head, furrowing his brows. A shaky exhale left his down-turned lips.

Watching the display, Gai's expression became eerily serious.

"What? What happened?!"

"He had a seizure," Yamato finished finally, a heavy guilt settling in on him for leaving Kakashi all alone in the room.

"Fuck…" Gai started, his voice cracking, "He hasn't in forever…"

Paling, he began running toward Kakashi's room, Yamato following closely behind him.

Kurenai and Asuma walked briskly to Kakashi's hospital room, a bouquet of orange daisies in the former's grasp. Sakura trudged next to them with her eyes glued to the ground, Sasuke trailing behind.

There was a frigid truth in the atmosphere, reducing everyone to a somber silence.

The door opened timidly, and everyone slowly settled into their spots around the bed, their eyes quickly finding his weakened form. Gai was in the same position he'd been sitting in for hours, his eyes unblinking as he stared at his friend.

"Gai," Asuma said, placing a hand on the man's shoulder and jerking him out of his stupor, "You should get some sleep. We're here."

He just looked at Asuma in response, his face pale, and his eyes tinged red, with deep, dark circles underneath. Sasuke observed him from across the room, noticing how astonishingly different his attitude was.

"I-I can't just leave...I can't," Gai told him honestly, sighing defeatedly.

I won't be able to sleep.

After placing the flowers in a vase by the window, Kurenai ambled over to him, her gaze full of concern.

"How long have you been here? You need to get some rest, Gai. We'll watch him for however long you need, and wake you up if anything happens," she persuaded kindly, understanding that he needed the satisfaction of believing that he always knew what was going on with Kakashi.

With that, Gai nodded, trudging out of the room, feeling the exhaustion hit him like a ton of bricks.

Turning her attention to the Hatake, Kurenai sat on the now empty chair beside his bed. She clutched his cold, bony hand with both of her own, tearing up as she took in his appearance. He looked shockingly washed out, his form still, except for the shaky rising and falling of his chest.

She could tell he was nearing the end of his fight. He was dangerously thin, so small. She longed for the sarcastic, aloof genius that was late to everything. It was like Kakashi was disappearing.

Asuma cleared his throat, slowly walking over to the window and looking outside, his arms crossed. It was exceedingly difficult to see a man as strong as Kakashi become a shell of his former self.

"Sensei…" Sakura whispered longingly, grasping onto the railing of his bed. Her bottom lip quivered, eyes pooling with tears. She frowned with a series of sniffles, trying her best to stow away the sadness that came just by looking at him.

His breathing was short, almost staccato like, as if he wasn't able to inhale all the way. Sakura's intuition told her that something had happened recently to completely drain him of his energy. Kakashi was knocked out cold, his brows furrowed like he was experiencing pain in his sleep, a strained groan leaving his mouth on occasion.

On the way there, Kurenai and Asuma had told both her and Sasuke that Kakashi had developed new tumors in his lungs, which finally explained why his breathing was so off. However, it took everything in Sakura not to completely break down at the terrible news.

She knew Kakashi-sensei was going to leave them, and she would never be ready for it.

Sasuke, on the other hand, stared at the hospital bed blankly, feeling terribly uneasy. How could a person deteriorate so quickly? He didn't understand.

The Uchiha stood up and made his way over to Sakura's side for a better look, because frankly, he was in disbelief at how sick Kakashi looked. He was a shocking white color, like there was no blood in him, like he wasn't even a living being. When did this happen?

A strange feeling palpated in his chest. He'd never shown his sensei much appreciation, but that didn't mean that he didn't want him alive. Looking at Kakashi struggling to take in air almost made Sasuke feel like he couldn't properly breathe either.

Suddenly, Kakashi stirred, inhaling sharply. He squinted, wincing at the light, which further aggravated the headache that had been bestowed on him upon waking up.

"Sensei?" Sakura whispered, standing a bit straighter. Everyone's attention went straight to him, their curious gazes fixated on his awakening form.

Kakashi forced his eyes open, tilting his stiff neck to look around the room. It became abundantly clear to him that his vision was unfocused and foggy—the people around him seemed dark and obscure.

"Do your eyes hurt?" Kurenai questioned, noticing how he kept wincing, and had basically reverted to keeping his eyes mostly shut.

He sighed, his head tilting loosely towards the left. "I'm thirsty."

Kurenai nodded, quickly fetching him some water from a pitcher on a side table in the corner.

"Let's get you up," she coaxed, handing a cup of water to Asuma, who'd meandered over from the window. Kurenai slid an arm under Kakashi's neck, gently lifting his upper body, while Sakura placed more pillows behind him so that he was more or less in sitting position.

Kakashi tugged down his mask to his chin, feeling a sort of weakness in his limbs. His hands trembled, and it felt as though he was moving through molasses.

Bringing the cup to his chapped lips, Kurenai couldn't help but notice his sallow complexion, and how even his face had gotten thinner, to the point where she could see the sharp edge of his jaw, and the prominent hollows under his cheekbones. The cup shook in his grasp, but he took greedy sips, the cool liquid soothing his charred throat, and thinning out the thick phlegm coating his airway.

Kakashi leaned back with closed eyes and pulled his mask up, panting as if drinking water had cost him of any existing energy he had.

Sasuke gulped, wiping the sweat from his forehead. If you looked closely, you could see the worry glistening in his onyx eyes, and the slight crease on his forehead as he watched his former mentor wheeze, and struggle to stay awake.

"Are you okay, Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura said as she observed his pained behavior. She knew it was a stupid question, but in that moment, she couldn't help but ask.

He turned toward her voice, blinking lazily, and seeing her form in double vision. His eyes crinkled into crescents when he became aware that his team was there.

"Sakura...Sasuke…" he rasped, his chest heavy with both a dull pain and nostalgia, "I missed you guys."

"We missed you too…" Sakura responded, tears welling in her eyes. She grabbed his hand tenderly, her sniffling getting increasingly louder. It was clear to her that he was forcing himself to smile so he wouldn't worry them.

How had he not seen that they were in the room before? What was going on?

Before she knew it, she was grieving in front of everyone, because she'd never seen him so confused and sick. The room was silent, filled with nothing but the sound of Kakashi's beeping heart monitor, and her quiet sobbing.

The Hatake's clouded orbs widened through his pain. It felt as though his own daughter was crying.

"Sa...Sakura," he croaked in distress, clutching the railing of the bed to pull himself into a sitting position, the rate of his breathing quickly increasing. Before he could try anything, Kurenai stood from her seat and placed her arm on his back, peeling him off of the pillows.

He immediately felt dizzy, resisting the urge to lurch backwards. He ignored this though, tremulously wrapping the arm that she wasn't already clinging on to around her. Sakura buried her face in his hospital gown, shaking as she struggled to gain control of her emotions.

"Sakura, don't worry about me..." Kakashi reassured her softly, understanding that this situation was hard to deal with.

She shook her head, wiping her wet face. "H-How can I not worry about you?"

Kakashi blinked a few times, exhaling deeply as he noted that the room was spinning.

"...I'm sorry...for worrying you," he brought out with difficulty, swaying slightly, "I should've visited you guys more."

Sakura gently set him back into the pillows, becoming aware of the fact that he was growing tired. He was surprisingly light, and easy to move.

"Sensei, please don't apologize. You have no reason to," she said softly, having gathered her composure. Sakura was immensely disheartened, but she knew that she needed to tell Naruto about Kakashi's condition soon, or else it might be too late.

He neglected to answer her after that, her voice seeming echoey and distant. The right side of his head began to throb distinctly, the pulsating pain shooting down his face and to his jaw. His neck was stiff and tight, and it felt as if there were an intense pressure behind his eye.

"Kakashi?" Asuma said finally, shifting his weight anxiously, his brows furrowed as he picked up on his friend's discomfort, "What's wrong?"

"Head hurts," the man grunted in response, not daring to open his eyes. He sighed shakily, beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

"What can we do for you?" Asuma asked him, genuinely wanting to help.

Kakashi's ears began to ring. "N-nothing. Just don't talk...hurts."

Asuma nodded, although it didn't matter, because the Hatake didn't see it.

Kurenai rubbed his bicep, watching him shiver and grunt as he attempted to withstand the headache in front of all of them. Upon glancing at his arm, she quickly noticed the mottled, purple bruises that spanned it. Asuma followed her line of sight, his brows furrowing when he found the blotchy injuries.

Kakashi rolled away from her touch, gasping shakily. He brought his hands to his forehead, and began to tremulously massage his temples, the wide sleeves of his shirt riding up towards his shoulders.

There was an intense pressure that was pushing all around his head, akin to a tight band. His face felt warm and tender, and he was rather afraid to move.

Sasuke glanced at him from the corner, observing that his heart rate was becoming faster on the monitor, and that his breathing was increasingly agonized. He wiped his sweaty palms on his black pants, wondering what Kakashi was feeling, and what was happening to him.

"Asuma, we should get Tsunade," Kurenai whispered as quietly as she could, looking up at Asuma worriedly, "Kakashi's in too much pain. I need to ask her some questions."

He looked down at his shoes, then at her again, nodding slowly. Asuma turned around, walking out of the room.

"Kurenai…" Kakashi mumbled softly once he'd left, a bead of perspiration rolling down the side of his face, "I'm sorry..."

She smiled ruefully, squeezing his clammy hand. "You don't need to apologize for anything. We're just glad we get to see you."

He made prolonged eye contact with her, his gaze red rimmed, lost, exhausted.

Soon enough, Asuma was back, bringing the hokage with him. Tsunade headed straight to Kakashi's bed, a crinkle ever-present on her forehead. She seemed tired, and as if her mind was focused on something else.

Bending down, she pulled back Kakashi's bangs, giving him a gentle kiss on his forehead. She knew that at this point, he was extremely vulnerable, and needed to know that there were people there that cared about him.

"How are you feeling?" she asked with a light tone that masked her hidden despondency.

His eyes gleamed with recognition.

"I have a headache."

She nodded in response, sighing lightly.

"Is it like the ones you've been having?" she asked carefully. Kakashi's headaches had exacerbated as of recently, his seizures having worsened in tandem.

"...yes," he choked out with difficulty, wishing desperately that there was some way, or medicine he could use to stop the pain.

"I'm sorry, Kakashi," she began genuinely, "I would give you something to help manage it, but I think it would be useless, since I need to do a chakra extraction. You will most likely lose consciousness afterward."

Kakashi nodded quickly, as if to tell her to just hurry up and do it. He wanted deeply to not be awake.

The hokage stepped forward, pulling a small tube out of her pocket. She placed two of her fingers on the chalky skin on his chest, sensing him flinch at her cold touch. Applying an initial pressure, she pulled away slowly, drawing a thin strand of blue chakra from his surface—if you looked closely, you could see little crackling bursts that resembled lightning.

Kakashi fidgeted against the tugging sensation, groaning as he felt his energy being drained from him. However, he gradually struggled less, until he was motionless, a heavy drowsiness overtaking him. Tsunade cautiously placed the long string into her tiny apparatus. In the tube, it tangled up, seeming less like a single strand, and more like a large, interconnected mass.

Kakashi's eyes fluttered closed, a contented sigh escaping his parted lips. He seemed as if he were in less pain.

Tsunade tapped her fingers repeatedly, her eyes wide open in deep, unblinking thought. Her mind had been abnormally awake for the past few days, flooded with thoughts, questions, and curiosities about Kakashi's cancer.

She knew for a fact that it was abnormal to get brain cancer, and then lung cancer. If someone had lung cancer first, then they would be more likely to have metastasizing tumors, and secondary brain cancers. But it was usually never the other way around. Kakashi had two different, unrelated cancers that progressed faster than they should've.

Her initial pain and worry had clouded her judgment, but she could now see that there was clearly something strange about his cancer.

The door opened suddenly, jarring her out of her thoughts. Shizune walked over, her face drawn and tired.

"Lady Tsunade…" she started respectfully, holding out a white envelope, "Did you take a chakra sample from Kakashi?"

The hokage's head shot up, her eyes glistening as she eyed the envelope.

"Yeah, I did. Can I see that?"

Shizune handed it over to the older woman, who took it eagerly, immediately beginning to open it.

"Why do you need a chakra sample? Don't you think that at this stage, Kakashi can use all the energy he can get?" Shizune asked with a tinge of hurt in her voice, crossing her arms.

Tsunade glanced up, observing her apprentice. She was obviously exhausted, as one could tell by her eye bags and pinched expression . There was a sad glint in her eyes, that only someone who'd been heartbroken would be able to pick up on.

"Shizune, it's not normal to get lung cancer after getting brain cancer," Tsunade blurted out.

The kunoichi furrowed her brow. "Sure it is...there have been cases where people get more than one primary cancer—"

"No…" Tsunade responded abruptly, shaking her head, "The odds of that happening are probably, on average, around 9-10%. And severe reactions to temodar, of all drugs, are highly unlikely."

"Lady Tsunade…" Shizune sighed wearily, "You shouldn't get your hopes up with Kakashi. He's more or less terminal."

Tsunade slammed a fist on the surface of her desk, greatly frustrated. She couldn't help but look into Hatake's situation and trace his disease back to his mother. There was just something there that she knew was odd.

"Listen, Shizune. His body grossly rejected all of the treatments we gave him, and his cancer progressed way more quickly than normal. How is he already dying?" she began, gesticulating wildly with her hands, "I'm not saying that it's not cancer, i'm just saying that these anomalies are worth looking into."

Shizune nodded, understanding her mentor's point of view.

"So why did you sample his chakra?"

"I wanted a geneticist to use a scanning jutsu to see if he had any mismatched nucleotides in his DNA, or any other mutations," the hokage told her, proceeding to open the contents of the envelope with a new vigor, "It just irks me that we haven't even checked his genes."

"Well, it's not in the immediate protocol for treating cancer, so I don't blame us."

Tsunade failed to respond, intently reading the results from the genetics lab. Within a minute or two, her visage was scrunched in confusion.

"...He has a mutation...For some reason, his chakra is more white than blue."

This piqued Shizune's interest, as she quickly went over to Tsunade's side, reading over her shoulder. The news was big.

Both of them knew that the majority of shinobi possessed mostly "blue" chakra, even if they had a special trait passed down by a clan that gave them unique abilities.

Shizune's eyes quickly flitted over the words and numbers. "So...the geneticist thinks that the mutation in Kakashi's alleles caused this abnormal chakra?"

"Not only that," the older woman said, her gaze fixated on a point on the bottom of the page, "He separated the chakra in a centrifuge...and found that the "white" chakra had key proteins that weren't correctly functioning. The blue counterpart was fine."

Chakra was a very crucial part of every ninja's life. It gave them the ability to perform high level jutsus, and supplied their cells with electrical energy that helped them to produce more chemical energy that they could actually put to use in their bodies. If the proteins in the chakra were not adequately doing their job in providing cells with energy, or properly receiving electrical signals, then there would clearly be a huge problem.

"And it says here…" Shizune started, pointing at another spot on the paper, "...that the white chakra was sticky and viscous."

Both women turned to look at each other, recalling how they'd thought his brain cancer was a glioblastoma, or a glue-like tumor.

"Shizune, what if his tumors aren't regular tumors," the hokage said without faltering, holding her face in her hands with trembling fingers, her thoughts racing.

"I was thinking the same thing," Shizune said in response, leaning on the wall, and crossing her arms, "It would make sense for the faulty chakra to...trigger abnormal cell growth and cause tumors...and there are major chakra reserves in the brain, and the lungs."

The two of them sat in silence, thinking, hoping for possibilities that would give Kakashi another chance at life.

a/n: hope y'all like it:) i have something up my sleeve