Chapter Three

Alison knew absolutely nothing about babies, or even pregnancy for that matter. To suggest that she knew anything about the milestones that she is supposed to be reaching, or how much the fetus is supposed to be growing each and every day, is nearly laughable. There is an app on her phone that compares her baby to a piece of fruit or vegetable every week, but honestly, she doesn't quite understand it. How can something the size of a piece of fruit inevitably become the human being that she is legally responsible for until they reach adulthood? How can something so tiny be carrying the genes of a Queen Bee and her most dedicated follower? She doesn't know anything about this baby, or this pregnancy- ranging from the rounds of sickness that rush over her all day (so much for morning sickness), to the types of clothes that she should be buying for herself and the baby (because the kid can't just always wear diapers, right?) In a rare instance in her life, Alison finds herself longing for her mother and her presence. Jessica had been through pregnancies twice and delivered healthy and arguably normal children- she would have known exactly what to do in this circumstance. She would have known how to console her on those days when she didn't think that her stomach would ever stop heaving, or when she questionably looked at infant items, not knowing what she needed. Alison knew that Jessica did not always know what to do with her as a child, but surely she would have been supportive of her grandchild. After all, Jessica had always been fond of Emily, and often told Alison how much she wished that they could have made it work.

However, Alison is not so sure how she would have felt about the two women bringing a new life into this world, especially a new life that would share the same genes as her.

Just like Alison is not so sure how Mary Drake feels about taking care of a pregnant niece. A niece that is carrying the baby of her childhood sweetheart, who just so happens to be a female. Mary had not necessarily commented on Alison's pregnancy, or her relationship with Emily for that matter. But Alison can't help but muse that it was Mary's daughter who tried to kill them all at one point- therefore, she truly could not judge her relationship with Emily Fields.

It has nearly been over a month since she was finally released from Welby and fully discovered why her period had been so late and her emotions had been so out of whack. It had been a month since her, along with Emily, stood in the front yard of her childhood home and told their very best friends that they were having a baby together through the help of Uber A. It had been a month since everything Alison DiLaurentis knew was suddenly all wrong, and her whole world turned on a dime. It had been a month since everything that had once been about her was suddenly about the innocent child that is growing inside of her. In that month, she spoke to Mary when conversation was forced- typically when Mary is offering her something to drink, or some comfort after Alison has emptied the contents of her stomach into the nearest toilet.

In that month, Emily had been over and involved in this pregnancy and their relationship as much as possible- but between swimming practices and meets, and now heading to State (really, Alison couldn't be more thrilled that she got the job), they time they actually had together seemed to be dwindling. Spencer refused to answer her phone calls- not that it surprised Alison all that much. Spencer had always been a very Type A personality, and when something threw a wrench in her plan, she would cut all ties. She knows eventually the Hastings girl will come around- after all, this baby is just as much a part of her as it is Alison and Emily. Hanna was far too busy in New York to warrant a trip to Rosewood to see her friend- something about releasing a clothing line and Caleb's new job. Alison's happy for her, honestly. Aria had come over as often as she could when Alison called- they binge watched old movies as Aria wrote for her book and drank wine, while Alison went through boxes of old stuff Jessica had kept and sipped on some ginger ale (not that she was buying that it was good for an upset stomach).

Most of this week however, it had simply been her and the baby. Aria was busy at work, Emily was away on a meet trip (and Mary hadn't been so keen on the idea of having Emily move into the house so they were currently looking for a place together), and no A.D. Everything had been abnormally quiet for the past few days.

Just Alison and Baby DiLaurentis-Fields

She was sitting in the parlor, one hand on her slightly protruding stomach, the other flipping through photo albums from her childhood. This specific album had been from her third birthday party and she cannot help but notice just how happy her parents and Jason looked at the occasion. There were a variety of photos of Kenneth with his arms around Jessica from behind, a beaming smile upon their faces as they watched their children. There were photos of Jason playing with Alison, and what looked to be like a young Melissa. Alison's hair was so golden and her eyes so blue as she stood in front of her giant birthday cake, beaming ear to ear waiting to blow out her candles. Gently, Alison's thumb glides over her stomach as the tears brim within her eyes delicately- she wonders what she wished for during that birthday. She wonders if she wished that her family would stay that happy, that innocent, that in love with one another. She doesn't know when it stopped- when her father began to look at her mother with disgust, when Jason excluded himself from the family, when she was left with shinning blue eyes and a shamble for a family.

"I won't let this happen to you," Alison finds herself whispering as she gently strokes a pattern into her stomach, a single tear sliding down her face. "I know that I don't know how to do this mother thing and I haven't always had the best example of what a family is supposed to be like. But I promise you right now that I will always look at you like you hung the moon and the stars in the sky. I promise I will always love you and I will always surround you with people who love and adore you just as much as I do. I promise that I will always try to make things better for you and give you the very best things in life. I promise to give you a family, even if I have to construct it myself. I promise that you will always be the very best thing that happened to me and I will always, always love your Mama for giving you to me." Her voice is trembling as she turns the page to find a photo of herself and Emily, both with icing covering their faces, grinning so brightly as if nothing bad in the world could ever touch them. Laughing softly, her free thumb strokes Emily's face, the love bursting in her chest.

"Oh, Alison dear," Mary Drake's voice catches her off guard and Alison jumps, sending the photo album tumbling onto the floor. Quickly, Alison's hand went over her stomach for protection as her shoulders tensed up at the sudden noise. Biting her bottom lip at her niece's reaction, Mary only allows a faint smile to echo upon her lips as she bends down to pick up the album, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't meant to scare you."

"Oh you didn't. I mean, you did. But I just… I thought you were… its fine. We're okay," Alison clears her throat, brushing the golden streaks away from her face. The concept is still so weird to her- to refer to herself as we because there is another person inside of her. Mary smiles at her, nodding her head softly as she lies the album on the table beside of Alison. She walks toward their television but stops just short, turning back to face her blonde niece that is nearly the spitting image of her deceased twin.

"I found this old home movie in some of my things this morning. I had completely forgotten that your mother had sent it to me while I was away. I thought… maybe you would want to see it?" Mary holds out the DVD towards Alison whose face immediately lights up at the gesture. Quickly, Alison nods her head, moving forward in her seat and Mary grins with a wink, placing the movie into the player. She makes her way back to the sofa opposite from Alison, sitting down with the remote as her eyes study her niece. The way that Alison's blonde hair shadows her face, the way that her piercing eyes carry so much emotion, it's almost as if she's…

"Wanna say goodnight to your sister?" It's Jessica's voice. Immediately, the tears brim within Alison's eyes as she watches her mother cradling her infant self on the television screen. Jessica has a bright smile upon her face as two blonde haired and curious eyed little boys surround her in the pink blanket. She watches as her mother's thumb gently brushes over the blonde tuff of hair that is sticking out from under the blanket that she is wrapped up in and Alison can't control the cry that is in the back of her throat, not recalling the last time that her mother had touched her so gently. Curiously, a little boy kisses Alison on the head before giggling, a childlike wonder filling his face as his mother watches him with a smile.

"What a good big boy you are," Jessica beams at her son, gently caressing his chubby face. The boy only laughs before he runs off with his brother, Alison know recognizes as Charles, towards the apples. Softly, she strokes her baby bump as the camera focuses in on Jessica and baby Alison as her mother gently kisses her forehead, taking a moment to gently run her nose along Alison's soft baby like skin.

"I remember you at this age. Jessica was so proud to finally have a daughter. Little did she know that my little Charles would also give her a daughter," Mary points out as the screen goes black for a moment before it cuts to different footage. This time, Jessica is in Alison's room, which is set up like a nursery, and in a rocking chair, she cradles Alison.

"Shh, Daddy. Alison's trying to go to sleep." Jessica scolds Kenneth who is behind the camera. Nearly as soon as she says that, however, there is a huge ruckus downstairs and the sounds of boys screaming in laughter echo up the stairs.

"She'll never fall asleep with our boys making all that noise." Kenneth groans as Alison whimpers, stretching her tiny fist out from under the blanket. There is a hiccup in her breath and the baby begins to cry, much to her father's frustration. Jessica, however, remains calm, gently tracing her daughter's round face with her thumb, smiling down at her.

"Oh yes she will. Every mother knows exactly what their child needs. Mommy's got you, Alison. Always and forever." Jessica whispers, slowly rocking in the chair and then, a sense of calm rushes over Alison and her own baby as her mother's voice fills the room.

"Lullaby, and goodnight, in the skies stars are bright. May the moon, silvery beams, bring you with dreams. Close your eyes, now and rest, may these hours be blessed. Till the sky's bright with dawn, when you wake with a yawn. Lullaby, and goodnight, you are mother's delight. I will protect you from harm, and you'll wake in my arms. Sleepyhead, close your eyes, for I'm right beside of you. Guardian angels are near, so sleep without fear. Lullaby, and goodnight, with roses bedight. Lillies o'er head, lay thee down in thy bed. Lullaby, and goodnight, you are mother's delight. I'll protect you from harm, and you'll wake in my arms." Jessica's sweet voice echoes throughout the house as the camera pans in on a sleeping Alison's tiny little face. Without realizing it, Alison lets out a choking cry that immediately causes Mary to stop the video. Suddenly, Alison is on her feet, her hand on her stomach as the tears are blinding her vision, but it does not go without notice, that even in her breakdown, she gently traces patterns into her stomach.

"Alison, dear…" Mary calls out, standing to face her niece but Alison shakes her head, stepping back dramatically.

"I don't know what I'm doing. She should be here. I know she wasn't mother of the year and she didn't always give a damn about what I was getting myself into, or even tried to get to know me. But you know what she did? She protected me and she loved me even when I didn't always understand that, which was often. And now I'm pregnant and I don't know how to do any of this. I don't know how to be a mother. I don't know when my child needs something. I don't need anything," Alison hiccups with a cry and Mary smiles out softly, leaning back onto the sofa, her arms gently crossing over her chest.

"Well, nobody knows what they're doing, dear." Mary states and Alison looks at her quizzically, "it's the truth. It's all just trial and error. If the kid is wet, you change it. If its tummy is empty, you feed it. If it needs to be loved, you love it. It's not very hard. Your mother did it with two kids and a very unsupportive husband at times. You have Emily, and just one baby. You survived so much, Ali. You will survive motherhood. So will your baby."

"Yeah and what would you know about motherhood?" Alison chokes out bitterly and Mary's face falls briefly, the pain of Charlotte's life clearly etched upon the lines on her face. Instantly, Alison regrets her words, biting her bottom lip as she looks down at her stomach, a heavy breath escaping from her lips.

"More than you could ever understand, Alison. Besides, I'm here with you right now, aren't I? You and Emily are going to be wonderful parents. I don't always understand many things and I suck at love- I guess it's a flaw that your mother and I had in common. But I know that the girl loves you and you love her too, even if you don't always want to. And love is all you need to raise a baby. I wish that someone could have loved me the way that Emily loves you," Mary smiles sadly, "that's why that, even though that baby is a DiLaurentis, it's still the luckiest kid in the world." Alison studies the statement for a long moment, open her mouth to say something when the doorbell rings interrupting them. Mary smiles, walking forward as she places her hand upon Alison's shoulder, those all too familiar eyes staring into piercing blue. For a moment, it was almost as if Alison had her mother back, yet, before she could truly say anything, Mary was gone. Sighing softly, Alison heads to the door, running a hand through her hair before she opens it with a smile. Dark brown eyes are smiling up at her and Alison can't help but wrinkle her nose with enjoyment at just how short her visitor is.

"Your appointment is at four thirty, right? I tried not to be freakishly early," Aria chuckles, waving around the coffee cup in her hand, "I'm just really excited. I mean this is our first baby and I know that it's your baby. But it's kind of our baby too and it's a big deal and I'm rambling. I'm sorry." The blush appears in her cheeks and Alison laughs, grabbing a jacket from the rack beside of her shutting the door behind them.

"Let's go and see our baby," Alison laughs, walking towards Aria's car. Aria beams with rushing towards the car with a skip in her step and Alison can't help but stop and notice the young girl. She's short and so full of life and enjoyment- their personalities had been so contradicting in school. Aria was the artsy hipster, Alison was the Queen Bee; Aria would rather be behind the camera whereas Alison loved to be in the spotlight, and yet, somehow, Aria is one of the very true friends that Alison ever really had.

"Hey Aria?" Alison states, her brow wrinkled and Aria stops, turning around. Noticing that her friend's face is scrunched up with worriment, Aria immediately lunges forward, extending her hand out toward Alison's stomach.

"Is everything okay? I can get to Rosewood Memorial in point five seconds!"

"Yeah, no. I mean, I'm okay. I just… thank you. I know that you are busy with your book and Ezra and I know that I wasn't always the nicest to you and I know that we've moved past that. But still. You're here and you're helping me, and I know Emily is so grateful that you didn't choose to shut us out when we told you about the baby. I'm freaking out about this whole baby thing because I don't really know how to be a family, but here you are, going with me anyway, despite all the hell that I put you through," Alison mutters, the shakiness in her voice and Aria only smiles, shaking her head softly as she gently puts her hand on the tiny baby bump.

"Ali, are you kidding? You're the best family I've ever had." Smiles Aria and for a brief moment, a small second rather, Alison truly believes that she can do this.

Alison cannot remember the last time that she felt something as cold as the doctor's office. She's stripped down into this paper thin gown and placed in a room where the walls are this horrible shade of yellow (doesn't yellow hurt babies anyways, Alison muses). She can't for the life of her manage to get comfortable on the elevated bed and she is praying to God that she doesn't have to put her legs in those damn stirrups again- especially since Aria is literally right beside of her. She can't stop staring at the poster on the wall of what the female body does when experiencing childbirth and she doesn't think that she has ever squeezed her vagina so tight in her whole life- including all those bad sex experiences that she had while on vacation with CeeCee.

Nevertheless, there is a verge of excitement that floods through her when the nurse rolls in the ultrasound machine, knowing that she would be able to see her child yet again today. Aria smiles at her, her hand gently stroking Alison's blonde locks as she doctor walks through the door, a chart in her hand. She's a younger woman, with the brightest red hair that Alison thinks that she has ever truly seen and she can't stop the smile from appearing on her face as the woman looks up at her, and those green eyes cut into her.

"Miss DiLaurentis, welcome back. Any new symptoms since your last visit?" Dr. Reynolds asks and Alison shakes her head, biting her bottom lip as she looks from the dramatic poster to the young doctor that takes the stool at the end of the bed.

"Nope. But apparently, my baby is the size of a fruit!" Alison exclaims excitedly and Aria simply laughs at her best friend's excitement. Dr. Reynolds chuckles, turning on the ultrasound machine as she works with the instruments and the gel.

"Oh yeah. Your baby now has full eyelashes, eyebrows, and nails. It's currently forming some hair and your baby can even suck its thumb. We should also be able to hear the heartbeat today," Dr. Reynolds explains and Alison's face lights up at the statement, looking up at Aria who only grins down at her friend.

Suddenly, the door busts open and Emily leans against the doorframe, very disheveled. Her hair is a mess, and her clothes are wrinkled and falling off, she is grasping her keys and phone in one hand, and some kind of track bag in the other. Alison smiles at her, nodding her forehead and Emily lets out a huff of air, the sweat sticking to her face.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late. We literally just got back and I yelled at Paige to take care of the girls because I didn't want to miss this!" Emily smiles, walking over to the other side of Alison, her fingers quickly intertwining through Ali's. The blonde wrinkles her nose softly before she looks back at Dr. Reynolds who only rolls her eyes with a laugh, looking at the three women. She would never truly understand this whole family dynamic, but, they say it takes a village to raise a child and if that's the case then this will be the luckiest baby in the whole world.

"Guys, I can go and give you some…"

"No, Aria. Stay," Emily scolds, "this baby is…" But before she can ever finish her statement, the softest sound of thumping fills the room. Suddenly, Alison's blue eyes dart to the screen where a tiny blob appears, this time looking like a human being. Her mouth moves but no words escape her, instead the tears fall from her eyes. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. God, that has to be the most beautiful sound in the whole world.

"Is that?" Alison asks, looking at her baby who seems to have its thumb in its mouth. Gently, she stretches her free hand out towards the screen, her index finger carefully tracing the shape of the baby. Thump. Thump. Thump. Emily's crying, and so is Aria, but all Alison can think of is the fact that all of her life, without even knowing it, she had been waiting for this moment right here, forever.

"That's your baby's heartbeat, Alison. It's strong and healthy. And your baby is measuring just at the average. This baby is strong, and resilient. Would you like to know the sex of your baby?" Dr. Reynolds smiles, moving the instrument around Alison's stomach as the sound continues to echo through the room. Looking between Aria and Emily with tears in her eyes, Alison bites her lip and nods softly, watching as her baby flutters on the screen.

"She's a perfect little girl," Dr. Reynolds smiles and the sound of a cry erupts in the room, but nobody quite knows where it comes from. Instead, Alison's smile widens on her face and Aria looks onward at the screen, watching the baby suck it's thumb, the sound of her heart beat creating the most peaceful sound that any of them have ever truly experienced.

"Girl?" Emily squeaks in surprise and Dr. Reynolds only nods with a smile. Quietly, Alison strokes the screen, a single, lone tear running down her cheek and suddenly, everything is so simple that Alison will never truly understand how she never saw it from the beginning.

"My Estella," She whispers, the tears brimming in her eyes. Without realizing, Emily leans down and softly places a kiss onto Alison's lips. Without even thinking, Alison's hand immediately went to the cheek of the swimmer, pulling her in harder as her heart hammered in her chest. The kiss lasted a moment, but the message behind it, would last for a lifetime.

"I'll be right back with some pictures." Dr. Reynolds states, awkwardly stepping out of the room. But the girls don't notice because Emily is too busy looking at Alison like she was the one who put the stars in the sky and Alison is looking at Emily like she is her home. Aria watches her two best friends with the utmost love and happiness in her chest- she had been rooting for the two of them since that night in the library when Emily admitted that she liked Alison as more than just a friend. She had been the one who consoled Emily every time that she broke up with a girl because she wasn't Alison and now here they are, bringing a baby into this world.

"It's a girl," Alison breathes in a shaky breath, her eyes turning to Aria who smiles, wiping the hair from her face, glancing at Emily with a gentle laugh.

"You know what that means? I can totally paint her nursery. And I can start buying her these little hipster baby clothes. And I can start buying her some books! She's going to love her Aunt Aria! I'm going to be her favorite! I'm going to have to teach her how to like coffee and books without being a total basic bitch!" Aria beams, jumping on her heels and Alison laughs, grasping Aria's hand with a squeeze, so appreciative to her best friend for all of her love and support. Aria had been the one who was there when everyone else wasn't- Aria had been the one to always believe in her and love her, no matter what. She is sure that Spencer would eventually come around, and Hanna may grace them with their presence by the time that the kid is born, but right now, this moment, right here, with the three of them- well that's enough family for Alison.

"When you buy her books, make sure that Great Expectations is first on your list." Alison winks, glancing over at Emily. She never truly thought that there would be a moment where Estella would truly get Pippin in real life, but their story could not be more similar. Emily would always be her Pippin, and Alison would be damned if Estella doesn't get Pippin in the end.

"Really? I was thinking more F. Scott Fitzgerald." Aria teases, with a raise of her eyebrow.

"My daughter is not growing up with Daisy Buchanan as a role model!" Emily scolds loudly, causing all three of them to burst out in laughter. The concept still seemed so weird- Emily and Alison are having a daughter. A tiny little girl who is the perfect blend of the two of them, with Emily's complexion and Alison's eyes- Emily's smile and Alison's determination.

A new life.

A new beginning.

Suddenly, however, three phones buzz at exactly the same time and all three of them look at one another, panic echoing onto their face. All three are suddenly digging for their phones and Alison doesn't think that her heart has ever beat faster in her whole life- even counting all those kisses that she has shared with Emily in her past.

"That probably wasn't just a coincidence, right?" Aria sighs, holding her phone in her hand.

"On 3?" Alison's voice shakes as she holds to her stomach, trying to ignore the tears that are burning within her eyes. Why can't she just have one good thing in her life? Why can't she just have a happy ending for once?

"1….2…," Emily's eyes find Alison's icy blue and she reaches down, intertwining her fingers with Alison's on her stomach. Softly her thumb brushes against her stomach, allowing their daughter to know that she is there, "3." She struggles with the number as they all three open their messages.

Suddenly everything they had ever been hoping for is gone.

There is no happy ending- just tragedy and conflict.

On their screen, there is a picture of the sonogram, with I'M A GIRL written above the baby, pointing to her clearly obvious gendered parts. The photo is inscribed with a XOXO in the corner before the other message comes through.

Sugar and spice and everything not so nice. That's what our little girl is made of. Congrats, Bitches! Can't wait to see our girl. – A.D.