Hey there. I just watched Suicide Sqaud and became enamored with Harley and Joker's relationship. This is just a one-shot, rather lighthearted, I suppose. I hope you enjoy. Pardon me for any errors as English is not my first language. This is also a first for me writing them so please be gentle haha, its very nerve-wracking. Also, apologies if their characters aren't true to film.

The King Marries his Queen

Harley woke in a dreamy daze, a smile on her face that abruptly turned into a glum frown when she reached out blindly beneath the luxurious black silk bed sheets, expecting to feel the warmth of her Puddin's flesh yet her eagerly outstretched fingers only met nothing but wrinkled sheets; the only living reminder her honey had been in the bed with her the previous hours before in the first place.

A sleepy glance around the bedroom confirmed her suspicions that her Puddin' had left the room.

Sighing loudly, she lifted up her right leg, nudging the sheets down with her bare ankle and nimble toes expertly while a hand went up the bottom of her favorite shirt, her chipped black fingernail polished painted nails itching and stroking at the thinly inked 'Mr J' heart tattoo she had just inches above her belly button, a habit she liked to do often as a way of comforting herself.

While it was nice to be home, now that she knew for sure that her man wasn't dead and that she was not stuck in the stuffy confines of Arkham anymore, it wasn't the same without her Puddin' sleeping beside her.

Daddy doesn't need you, one of the numerous voices said inside her head, taunting her. It's why he left so quickly. Mr. J doesn't need you or want to be around you for too long anymore.

"Shut up, that's not true," she cried out loud into the dark bedroom, her eyes tearing up as she pouted. "He broke us out of prison. That's how we know he needs us." It didn't phase her that no one answered back or that all Harley was greeted with was a ringing silence in the bedroom. Some said that talking to yourself was a true sign of insanity, but so what? Sometimes talking to yourself was fun, even if no one was there to answer back.

She shrugged to herself and tongued around her teeth defiantly at the silence, kicking the sheets off before climbing out of bed. She was disturbed that her Puddin' had left her and she longed for nothing more than to find where he had gone. It was just never the same without him around.

She padded around the bed barefooted, finding her pair of hot pants where she had discarded them messily on the floor hours ago, which she stepped into and slithered on, snapping the elastic band around her hips as she hummed to herself. She caught a glimpse of herself in the cracked mirror near the bed, the glass covered in Ha Ha smears with lipstick, and sighed through her nose heavily, her shoulders slumping as she fingered the place on her neck where her choker used to be.

The 'Puddin' choker had been a gift from her true hearts desire, and then what had she gone and done? She'd stupidly tossed it away, depressed that her Puddin' had gone away for good. She knew better now at least, but she was still sad she could no longer wear it. She dreaded the moment her Puddin' asked her where it had gone, but a part of her believed he probably wouldn't have noticed or made too much of a fuss about it anyhow. Lastly, she combed her fingers through the lengths of her blonde, red and blue tipped hair and smeared on some lipstick, hardly caring that it didn't follow her lip-line completely, hoping to make herself look more presentable for her Mr. J.

Light on the balls of her feet, she found her Puddin' sitting in the dark on the couch near the bear skinned-rug- the very rug they had gotten pleasurably reacquainted on hours go. Though it was dark, she could still see him clearly; It was an unusual sight. Her Mr. J had both arms draped along the back of the couch, one leg crossed and resting over the other. He seemed so unusually still and unlike himself tonight.

Through the window, the moonlight and bat sign in the distance gleamed off his slick, combed back hair, making it seem a darker, less vibrant shade of green. The faint rays from outside made his pasty face look strangely silvery, caressing the dips and hollow's of his skin, making his cheekbones look razor sharp. From what she could tell of her Puddin' from where she silently stood observing him with both hands on her hips, he must have redressed in the clothes he wore earlier on.

He seemed in a funny, thoughtful mood, which unsettled Harley and made her reconsider whether she ought to disturb him. Mr. J was not one that liked to be disturbed, unless if truly necessary. Harley was unused to seeing him this way.

Making up her mind, she tiptoed slowly towards him, hoping to creep up behind him and give him a real start, making him laugh. Her eyes were glued to the back of his skull determinedly as she edged closer and closer to where he sat. Once she finally reached up behind him, she held her breath, waiting a second before pouncing.

"Boo!" she shrieked loudly, giggling as she clamped her hands down on both of his shoulders, squeezing him.

Mr. J barely even jolted, but just as she had hoped for, a slow, halfhearted laugh escaped him, making her bones feel as if they had softened at the sweet familiarity of the sound. There was nothing better than the feeling of knowing she was the cause of making her man laugh.

"Whatcha doing?" she asked hesitantly, making herself speak up. "You seem awfully quiet there, Daddy?"

She caught the outline of his head turn towards her, shadows making his grill gleam and wink at her through the dark as he parted his lips. "I'm doing nothing, sweet-cheeks." No more laughter escaped him. That was definitely unusual. Her Puddin' usually didn't seem so glum and serious. "I'm just... thinking, baby."

"Just thinking? So why the long face?" She rubbed up along his muscular shoulders through his jacket as she bent down, resting her chin atop of her hand, the side of her face near his. There was nothing like feeling him now, squeezing him and knowing he was real, that he was there, alive. She relished in the moment, sniffing at him surreptitiously, before letting her eyes roll upward. Straight past him, she caught sight of the glow of the bat sign in the distance again. "Whatcha thinking about? Surely not about Batsy still?"

A deep, guttural groan left the base of his throat at her bringing up Batsy-Boy, and Harley had to bite down on the tip of her tongue real hard to stop herself from laughing.

Stupid, stupid Batsy, the pussy, she thought to herself. He had a habit of ruining everything. Their date night. All the fun they had together in general. Now it was... whatever this was with her Puddin's mood.

Yet Harley sensed it was not a laughing matter immediately, when her honey lifted his arm and brought his hand behind the couch towards her. She stiffened against the back of the couch when he ran his hand up her spine through the flimsy material of her shirt, trailing it up until his fingers reached the nape of her neck. He squeezed down with his fingertips, purposefully wanting to hurt her, which made her shiver.

A little pain, she could handle. And no one dished out pain as good as her Mr. J did.

A surge of pleasure raced through her and her breathing went louder and more shallow as he started pulling with his hand cupped around the nape of her neck so that her head was bent over his shoulder, her long hair strewn around the front of her face as a laugh escaped her. His head moved, his lips near her ear.

"How many times do I got to tell you, baby?" he whispered against the shell of her ear in warning, just his voice alone sending exhilarating electric jolts into her system. "How many times does Daddy have to tell you not to mention that name in front of him?" His thin, bony fingers flexed around her neck and loosened around her neck, before flexing again, creating an intoxicating dance of both pleasure and pain.

It was always a game they liked to play, though Harley couldn't tell sometimes whether he was truly fooling. All she knew, was that she lived and breathed for moments like this. It was always so fun and exciting and... dangerous. A good laugh.

Harley grit her teeth, a wide grin forming over her mouth when The Joker rubbed the tip of his nose against her cheek. "What you gonna do about it?" she managed through labored breaths.

"Do ya need a good spanking for me to make it clear?"

Harley felt heat spread from her chest area to her face at the imagery that conjured in her head. "Whatever you wanna do to me, then just do it, Puddin'. You know I'd go through anything for you." It was a sad but true statement; It had started way, way back, when she first met him when she was a psychiatrist and him assigned her first patient at Arkham. After giving him a handgun and throwing herself into a vat of chemicals for him, she knew she'd do anything for him. She'd had her doubts about whether he had felt the same, which he had proven recently that he had. It humbled her to know her Mr. J was just as loony about her as she was about him.

"Actually, I got something else in mind."

"Yeah?" she whispered, confused when he released his grip around her neck. Her neck felt tender already and the idea of having the red imprint of her man's fingers staining the back of her neck thrilled her.

"Yeah," he said without elaborating. He sat up, uncrossing his legs while patting his lap. "Get over here, honey. Sit in front."

Instead of just walking around the couch to sit on his lap, Harley decided to reduce the time it would take by jumping up and swinging her legs over the couch. She tumbled into his lap, his maniacal laughter filling the room and soothing her when she wrapped both arms around his neck tightly, sitting close as she glanced up at him through her eyelashes with eagerness. The collar on his jacket was wide open, showing off pale skin and the tattoos along his sternum and, more importantly, the gold chains dangling down around his neck. Always her Puddin', she thought to herself fondly as she stroked his neck tentatively. Even after all this time, he still was fond of his bling. She could see his facial expression better now that she was sitting directly in front of him, on his lap. The metal grill along his teeth flashed at her as he cocked his head to the side, grinning at her.

Even still, his smile never failed to make Harley feel all bubbly and airy inside.

"I got a question to ask ya, Harley Quinn. Something that's been bothering me all day like a good joke you just can't get out of your head, a joke you've just got to share with someone. You listening?"

Harley leaned her head to the side and sat up slightly in his lap to show that she was. She was unsure where the conversation was about to go.

She ran her hand down the front of his jacket, noticing his exhalations were rapid through the material. Something had gotten him all in a twist. "Ya got my full attention," she assured him, her voice scratchy and low, brimming with both curiosity and cautiousness.

When her Mr. J seemed to hesitate, dragging his tongue along his bright lipstick colored lips, she felt her heart race like a monster. Her Puddin' acting hesitant was not something she saw very often.

"Well, you know how, uh... Daddy sometimes feels like he wants to tie you up and set you on fire?" He paused, and Harley heard him swallow audibly. She didn't know what was going to happen in the next few seconds. "It's not that I wanna deliberately hurt you, it's just that... sometimes you can be a little, uh... grating?"

Harley nodded slowly, licking her lips. Figuring out where he was going with the conversation wasn't easy. "But you tell me that all the time, Puddin'? I know more than anyone that I can be a little-"

"But after all that's happened and with you being gone the way ya had, it's made me think," he cut over her, irritated that she had interrupted his train of thought. "Like really, really think deep down in my heart." Harley felt her heart leap in her chest when her Puddin' lifted both hands, clasping her face in them. His grip was gentle and tender, surprising her. He got a little rough at times, and she didn't mind that. To be honest, she liked both gentle and rough. "Sure, I may feel like I wanna tie you down with rocks and throw ya into the sea sometimes, but... that isn't all the time that I feel that way, you see?"

Harley waited patiently, watching his face, not that she had any choice. His hands were still cupping her face and he used his thumb to trace over the heart tattoo on her right cheekbone several times. She could see a few disturbing and conflicting emotions pass over his face, all at once. Frustration, confusion. He licked around his lips again, flashing a small gleaming smile at her.

"I mean, I treat ya... fairly well, don't I?" Harley opened her mouth, about to answer, but he slid his hand down abruptly, covering her mouth with his palm, shutting her words of reassurance off. "You don't gotta speak just yet. Let me get it all out first or else it'll never come out." He sighed loudly, a deep growl reverberating, and Harley pressed her lips together underneath his palm, obeying. His piercing blue eyes searched hers, deeply and intensely. "Daddy tries to treat you good, because you're his Queen, his Princess. I've done well with you, haven't I, baby?"

His hand shook her head slightly, making Harley feel as if she was having a seizure. He seemed so conflicted, so... vulnerable, in ways she hadn't seen before.

"What I'm trying to say is that after everything that has happened, its made me realize I don't wanna be without you. You... truly are the constant fire in my loins, the... pesky itch in my crotch." It was a joke between them; Something he always introduced her to his associates as. And at that, Harley reached down below them with her free hand, putting one of them to use naughtily while a howl left her gritted teeth. She rubbed her fingers around his crotch, stroking him through his trousers, and a low, deep groan left his throat. He laughed loudly and as his laughter filled her ears, Harley felt her throat tighten and compress with emotion. It was truly the most romantic thing he had ever said to her, if ever. Her Puddin' was not one to wear his heart on his sleeve. "So, while I may sometimes feel like killing ya and hurting ya, its treating you good and keeping you as my Queen that I feel I wanna do for ya more than anything else. You get that?"

Harley nodded against his palm, her blue eyes filling up with tears.

"And this... this King wants his Queen as his wife." Joker paused, clearing his throat gruffly. Harley was stunned by how emotional he sounded, how gruff with nerves. "Which is why I've got the question for ya, Harley Quinn. Will you do this honka honka the honor of being his wife, baby?

He moved his palm away from her mouth, finally giving Harley permission to speak, only she couldn't. For once in her life, she was truly speechless. Was this another dream? Was she dreaming this? Her throat tightened with overwhelming emotion to the point where she thought it would be impossible to talk at all, as if someone was throttling her, making it impossible for her vocal cords to work.

Harley still had the suspicion it was all a dream and, in a way to test otherwise, she lifted her hand, slapping herself once across the cheek. The pain was fast and striking, but she still had her doubts. She brought up her arm, using the long fingernails on her other hand to rake them down her skin, to make sure she was awake and wasn't off, daydreaming about her and Mr. J together in a montage of normalcy.

"Is this a daydream, Mr. J?" she asked softly to her Puddin', still unconvinced. "Am I dreaming? Or is this another one of your jokes? You gotta know its cruel, teasing a woman about that sort of thing, don't ya? Teasing a woman about somethin' like marriage is enough for her to feel justified in beating in her man's skull until it turns to mushy pulp with her baseball bat!"

He threw his head back, laughing loudly, his laughs vibrating through to her body as she still sat on his lap. After a moment of consideration, she realized, Hmmm... it couldn't be a dream. He wants to marry me! Her cheek was aching from where she had slapped herself and her arm was now bleeding lightly from raking her fingernails down it viciously in the hopes of waking her up. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

Losing herself, Harley made a squealing noise, cupping her Mr. J's face between her hands as she bounced on top of his lap excitedly.

Then she leaned in to kiss him, their mouths mashing together, the lipstick he was wearing feeling slick against hers as it slathered against her mouth with every which way their lips joined. He reached down, finding her backside through her hot pants and he held her with his hands, Harley leaning against his chest. She couldn't believe it and she hadn't realized until he'd asked it, that this was what she had wanted for her and Mr. J all along. Or well, maybe she had known all along even before the Enchantress revealed it to her that she'd wanted a married life with Puddin', but...for some reason, she hadn't thought it would ever become reality. Not for them, not with how they were. Until now.

All she had ever wanted, was for her Joker to be her husband. To know that they were on equal footing.

Harley whimpered weakly when Puddin' leaned back, deliberately disengaging their mouths. When she leaned closer, wanting to kiss him again, she was in for a cruel awakening when he snapped his teeth at her, warning her away like a dog. Despite all that, honest laughter escaped her, though she wouldn't have minded kissing a bit more with him.

"Aww, Puddin'!" She very nearly screamed, her voice shaking and high-pitched. It was still all so surreal; The both of them were breathless from kissing, their breathing loud and shallow.

Tears spread down her cheeks, creating a ring of black mascara as laughter bubbled from her throat.

"What you crying for, baby?" She could see that he was misconstruing her actions. He ran his palm through the side of her hair consolingly. "Don't you want to be my pretty, pretty, pretty little wife?"

"Oh, 'Course I do!"

An exasperated, rumbling growl escaped him. "Hmmm, then what's the problem?"

"It's just that I...I've been waiting for you to ask me that for so long! I was just starting to think it would never happen!"

Reaching up, he ran his hands around her back, resting one hand on the nape of her neck, though it wasn't like before. It was gentle, careful, this time. More tears coursed down her cheeks as her mascara stung her eyes, and she sensed another need take over for her Puddin' when he started kissing around the neckline of her T-shirt, pressing feather-light kisses around her tattoos and her cleavage line. He alternated between nipping at her skin with his grill-covered teeth and only using his lips, and Harley could feel that same need he felt taking over her as well.

But that would have to wait for now.

She let him think he was having his way for a few minutes, grinning, silent laughter shaking her body. She felt high and euphoric, as if she'd just had a hit of some illicit substance. She couldn't believe it! Finally, her and her Daddy were getting married! Not in the conventional way, she knew, because her and her Puddin', nothing they ever did was normal and she knew she would be silly to expect otherwise. But if Harley had to be honest, she liked it best that way. The love her and her Puddin' had, it was different to all other loves. It was theirs.

She shivered, groaning blissfully, when Puddin' pulled up her shirt, bending low with his head to nip at her flat belly. Then she pulled away, sliding off him despite his protests. There was something else she had to do, after all.

"Hey, where you going?" he called after her in annoyance. "Where's my loving?"

She laughed loudly, running towards their dank bathroom, connecting the tattoo machine and perching herself on the edge of the bathtub. "What's it look like I'm doing, Puddin'?" she called back, her heart still pounding, her bones still mushy and tender. When he approached the bathroom, still panting heavily, looking like a deprived man who had been denied a cookie out of the cookie jar with wide eyes, Harley grinned and twiddled the fingers on her left hand at him. "I'm putting on my wedding ring, silly!"

The next day, Harley and her Puddin' had matching ink rings on their wedding fingers. Conventional, it definitely was not. But it was the way they both liked it best.

Hope you enjoyed. Reviews with your thoughts are most welcome. :) Hope this isn't too cutesy for them or OCC. Thanks for reading. I'm undecided about making it a multilength story.