In which Dipper gets more than he bargained for when out researching werewolves.

The last few purple rays of the sun shone out over Gravity Falls as a lone car drove up to the Mystery Shack. It parked right up by the trees, and a short figure in a dark robe got out, looking around quickly before darting into the forest.

"There he is." Dipper lowered his binoculars. "The Lurker."

There was a stifled giggle from behind. "The Lurker, Dipper? That's such a dorky name!"

"Ma-bel!"

"He looks more like a Geoffrey to me. Or a Tyrone! Wait, what are we even talking about again?"

Dipper sighed, picking up a large backpack. "The Lurker! That guy who's been pulling up by the Mystery Shack the last few nights, going into the forest and coming back after midnight! We were gonna trail him tonight, remember?"

"Hehe, the Lurker…"

"Are you coming or not?"

"I'm coming, bro bro!" The two twins slipped out of the Mystery Shack, heading in the direction the man had disappeared. Dipper fished out a flashlight from his backpack and kept it trained on the ground so they could follow the footsteps left in the mud.

"So Dipper," Mabel nudged her brother. "Any theories on this 'Lurker'?"

Dipper shushed his sister. "Mabel, keep your voice down! He might hear us."

"Okay!" The girl whisper-shouted.

"Anyway, I do have some theories on this guy." Dipper reached back and drew out a rather new-looking journal, marked '4' on the front and full of blank pages. "I think he's a werewolf."

"A werewolf? Like those guys in the romance movies?"

"Yes, but less ridiculous. I checked, it's the full moon tomorrow." Dipper began clicking the end of a pen repeatedly in excitement. "Mabel, why else would a guy just wander into the forest like that?"

"That makes sense." Mabel shrugged. "We've seen weirder than werewolves."

"You bet, Ma…" Something caught the boy's eye, and they stopped midsentence. Mabel carried on a little more until she noticed her brother's sudden halt.

"Dipper?"

"Mabel, look." The boy shined the flashlight onto a familiar triangular statue, half buried in the ground. "It's Bill."

Mabel frowned, walking up to the statue. "He looks all… stone-y." She stretched out a hand.

"Mabel, don't touch-!"

"And cold, too!" The girl laughed, and poked the statue in the eye. "Boop! You're not so scary now, are you Bill?"

Dipper cracked a smile; a year without the threat of Bill looming over their heads had made this discovery much more lighthearted than it otherwise would have been.

Meanwhile the girl was taking out a marker pen from inside one of her sleeves. "You know, I think Bill needs a makeover! Don't you think, Dipper?"

The boy shuddered. "A makeover? I'd only wish that on my worst enemy... so knock yourself out."

With a giggle Mabel scored a large unibrow straight across the statue's face. "Looks better already! Maybe I should add eyelashes, big eyelashes! And a mouth... huh, it's buried in the ground so I'll just put it on the side here. And don't forget the blush!" The girl took a step back from her masterpiece. "Whadda ya think, Dipper?"

"It looks great! Oh, give him a dunce cap too!"

"What's a dunce cap?"

"This, look," Dipper took the pen and wrote 'DUNCE' in big capital letters across Bill's top hat. "Now it's perfect."

The two had a good laugh at Bill, then Dipper suggested they continue after the werewolf. While Mabel happily skipped off, Dipper lingered one second. They reached out and touched the top of Bill's hand (still careful not to shake it), feeling that it was indeed cold, colder than it should have been in the hot summer night.

At that moment a howl sounded from off in the forest, startling Dipper. With a shiver they backed up and ran after Mabel.

"Mabel! Where are the footprints?" Dipper huffed as he caught up, bringing out a water bottle from the backpack and taking a swig. "You have been following them, right?"

"You mean from that Lurker werewolf guy?" Mabel looked up. "Wait, why don't you just call him the werewolf?"

Dipper searched the ground with his flashlight, and groaned. "Mabel, you lost him!"

"Whoops!" the girl gave an apologetic shrug. "Sorry Dipper, I just wasn't paying- oh look, it's the river!"

"Ugh, it's fine." Dipper started pacing back and forth. "Maybe we just need to backtrack, see where the Lurker went off the path. Yeah, come on, Mabel!"

"Dipper?" Mabel was standing on the river bank.

"What now, Mabel?"

"Did the Lurker have a dark robe?"

The boy rolled his eyes. "That's what I told you, Mabel. Why?"

"Because there's a guy in a dark robe right over there."

"What?" Dipper scrambled over, only to see the very man they were looking for standing only feet away by the banks of the same river, illuminated by the light of the nearly full moon. It was a miracle the twins hadn't been heard yet.

"See, D-" The boy slapped a hand across his sister's face and put a finger to his lips. After a second Mabel's eyes brightened in understanding and he removed his hand. Giving the flashlight to Mabel, Dipper reached inside his backpack and drew out a cheap plastic camera.

The two watched the man throw off his dark cloak, revealing himself to be none other than the mailman. Dipper turned to his sister and mouthed, 'Soos was right!'

'What?' Mabel mouthed back, which Dipper took as a sign of disbelief rather than a genuine question. He pressed record and started watching.

A howl sounded off in the woods as the man laid their cloak down on a nearby rock. He proceeded to take his shoes and socks off, followed by his shirt.

Mabel made a face. "What's he doing?" She whispered.

"Probably getting ready for the transformation." Dipper grinned excitedly. "Actual footage of a werewolf transformation! I can't wait to show Great Uncle Ford when he gets back!"

The man unbuttoned his pants.

"Uhh…" Dipper switched off the camera, going somewhat red in the face and turning away. " Maybe I'll just wait until he's actually transforming."

"Yeah." Mabel agreed, also hiding her face.

The two heard a splash as the mailman jumped into the river. A second later they heard… whistling? Curiousity overcoming the urge not to be awfully scarred, Dipper sneaked a look.

The man was standing in the middle of the river in his boxers, whistling a tune as he scrubbed himself with a bar of soap.

Dipper's mouth fell open. "What are you doing?" He blurted out before quickly covering his mouth, but it was too late. The man jumped, looked around and quickly spotted the two.

"You kids!" The mailman spluttered, jumping out of the water and quickly wrapping the cloak around himself. "What-how-what are you-why?"

Mabel wrinkled her nose. "Isn't that the water that goes into the reservoir?"

Dipper gagged and poured out his water bottle.

"I can explain!" The mailman started. "You see, I, uh, got lost and- wait, what are you kids doing? What's with the camera?"

It was Dipper's turn to stumble on words. "Nothing! Uh, we were wolfwatching- I mean birdwatching, birdwatching, heh."

"We were seeing if you were gonna turn into a werewolf!" Mabel added helpfully.

The mailman's face darkened. "Oh, you're another one of those nuts who think I'm a werewolf! I'm tired of it: it's a medical condition, dangit!"

Mabel blinked. "Is that why you were taking a bath in everyone's drinking water?"

"No… yes. So what if-if it is? You all deserve it for calling me a werewolf!" The mailman gathered his clothes as they started backing up. "Waiters get to spit in your food, but what can a mailman do for some well earned payback, eh? Eh?! That's what I thought, now leave me alone!"

The mailman ran off into the woods, leaving Dipper and Mabel in a state of shock.

"I have no idea what just happened." Mabel stated.

"Yep, Mabel, that was weird… even weirder than usual Gravity Falls stuff." The two were suddenly startled by another howl, quite a lot closer-sounding this time. "I think we should call it a night."

"You can say that again, Dipper." The two turned and began to head back up the muddy path. Dipper and Mabel grew strangely silent, falling into step as they attempted to process what had just happened. Dipper fiddled with the camera, torn between wanting to throw it out into the woods or permanently destroy it back at home. Maybe burning it would symbolically rid his mind of-

Snap. The sound of a twig breaking brought the twins spinning around to look behind them, linking hands. There was nothing there, nothing they could see.

"Hah!" Dipper gave a short nervous laugh. "Just, uh, jumpy, I guess."

The two turned. "Yeah, I bet it's nothing." Despite this, they walked at a much faster pace, waving their one flashlight from side to side at the creepy moonlit shadows.

Another howl sounded, so loud, so close. Mabel squeezed her brother's hand, slowed, and turned to point the flashlight behind them.

A dark shaggy figure was bounding towards them. With a jolt of terror, Mabel dropped the light and surged forwards.

"Mabel?"

"Dipper, run!"

The two didn't get far before the figure darted past them. The two skidded to a halt in surprise, but they quickly saw it turn and face them, yellow eyes glinting in the moonlight.

"It's a giant wolf!" Dipper backed up, bringing up his backpack. The wolf snarled, quickly closing distance.

"Dipper, look out!" The boy looked up in time to see his camera knocked out of his hands and crushed underfoot. The wolf was almost touching Dipper, baring a vicious display of teeth inches from his face.

Dipper blinked, then smacked the wolf in the face with his backpack. This turned out to be a silly move; the wolf stumbled, snarled and pounced, pinning the boy under a good 200 pounds of killing machine.

In this one life-flashing-before-one's-eyes moment, Dipper was surprisingly calm. All he could think about was how much it sucked that the last thing he did was watch a suspected werewolf take a shower in a river.

Then the wolf sunk its teeth into a good portion of Dipper's shoulder, and the boy's rather philosophical thoughts descended into a world of pain. Before he could be further mauled, however, the wolf was suddenly knocked right off him.

"Grappling hook!" Mabel shouted, and it seemed the weapon had once again saved the day. The rope wrapped several times around the wolf's various limbs, making it hard to untangle. After a second of struggling it managed to pull the actual gun away from the girl and awkwardly stand up, glaring at the girl with its yellow eyes. The wolf howled one last time and stumbled away.

Mabel wiped her brow. "Phew, that was scary! You alright, Dipper?"

Dipper groaned.

"Dipper?" Mabel looked down and gasped. "Dipper, your arm!"

"Everything hurts." The boy groaned. Mabel took off her sweater and wrapped it around Dipper's arm. "Ow. That didn't help."

"We need to get you back to Soos right now!" Mabel pulled her brother up with his good hand. "Come on!"

One supporting the other, the two twins made their way home, past the statue of Bill. In their plight, they failed to notice the permanent marker doodles had completely disappeared.