This is what happens when a person is seriously sleep deprived, bored
enough to consider gnawing off their own arm just so they can sew it back
on (an thus have something to do), and has had writer's block so long that
it is beginning (?) to curdle their brain. Not to mention, have been
driven insane by work. Oh well...
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Wait, scratch that, I don't even own 'nothing'; I rent.
Warning: This contains humor some people might find to be inappropriate. If you have a problem with cursing and sexual references, I advise you not to read this. Also, there will be a lot of OOC, but it is all intentional.
Kagome sensed when Inuyasha left. He did not make a single sound, but he did not have to. She could feel his demonic presence creeping off, trying to be small and inconspicuous. 'He's probably going to some tryst with Kikyo,' the girl thought sullenly. 'He'll proclaim his undying love for her and let himself be drug down to hell.' For some moments, Kagome just lay there, her awareness of the half-demon slowly fading as he grew farther away. He was not moving fast; nowhere near the speeds he was capable of.
"I shouldn't follow him," she told herself sternly, tears already stinging her eyes. "I don't want to see it if he's meeting her." But a morbid, self-destructive need to know whether she was right or not was already pulling her out of her sleeping bag, and leading her though the darkened forest. She more than half expected Inuyasha to swoop back and find her, tell her that where he was going was none of her damned business, but he did not. Instead, he continued steadily on, slowly enough that she was able to catch glimpses of his white hair ghosting through the branches.
Kagome followed, fighting the bitterness that welled up in her, even though she had not yet confirmed his destination. She had to know, even if the truth would kill her, she had to know it. She did not allow herself to cry. If she cried, he would know she was there instantly.
They arrived at a clearing so suddenly that Kagome almost stumbled into it and gave herself away. Inuyasha leaned against a rock face, eyes closed, bathed in moonlight. She hid in the bushes, wondering why he did not seem to hear her, or smell her with his dog-keen senses.
'So this is it,' the poor girl thought in despair. 'It certainly is romantic enough. . . he's so beautiful, standing there like that.' Against all odds, her heart sunk further.
When someone else did appear in the clearing, it was not who Kagome had expected.
"Sesshomaru. . .?" the girl mouthed silently, then gathered her breath to call a warning to Inuyasha, but the half dog-demon cracked open one golden eye at the new arrival, and turned to look squarely at his brother. Kagome let her shout die on her tongue. What was going on here?
"Whelp," Sesshomaru greeted Inuyasha. Oddly, it seemed to Kagome that his tone lacked its customary quiet disdain. What's more, the demon's expression held little of the malevolent indifference that Kagome had always assumed was Sesshomaru's trademark.
"Brother," Inuyasha acknowledged softly, opening his other eye and smirking. The smile was not the same one he sometimes wore before a fight. She hardly recognized it. Kagome was becoming increasingly uneasy. Nervously she scanned the surroundings for that vile toad that followed Sesshomaru around. She saw no sign of him, nor did either brother make any move to attack. They simply faced one another, Sesshomaru not quite as stoic as was normally his wont, Inuyasha with hooded eyes and an extremely cocky smile tugging up his lips.
Watching, Kagome was not sure if she should reveal herself and stand by Inuyasha, or if she should remain hidden. 'He would want me to run. . .' She was still debating with herself when Sesshomaru moved, faster than the human eye could follow, and was manifestly towering over Inuyasha, who still leaned nonchalantly against the stone outcropping. Kagome's heart leapt into her throat so it seemed it would choke her.
Then Sesshomaru reached across the small distance separating him from his brother, and touched his jaw lightly with perfectly formed white claws. With a deftness that spoke of repetition, Inuyasha's mouth was guided to meet the demon's own descending lips.
'What the hell?' Shock hit the girl like a MAC truck. She couldn't think, let alone figure out the proper response to seeing the object of one's unrequited love kissing his demon half-brother. Rather passionately, at that. She could only watch as Inuyasha opened his mouth and slipped his tongue into the kiss, a blush suffusing his cheeks. She could only watch as Sesshomaru ran his hand under his younger brother's clothing to massage his neck and shoulder. She watched as Inuyasha was pulled closer to Sesshomaru, and as Sesshomaru sifted Inuyasha's pale hair through his fingers. She saw Sesshomaru's honeyed eyes turn hazy as the half-demon began to make his way across his older brother's elegant jaw, pointed ears, and down his neck in a trail of fierce kisses and teasing nibbles.
When Inuyasha roughly shoved Sesshomaru against the rock wall and knelt down with a peculiar, almost victorious look on his flushed face, Kagome could no longer just watch.
"What the flying fuck?!" the girl's voice rang out, startling both brothers. She crashed into the clearing like rage incarnate, stomping up to the pair who regarded her with a great deal of surprise, and not nearly enough shame for Kagome's taste. Anyone caught doing 'that' with his brother ought to look like they were about to die of embarrassment. It was nasty, and incestuous, and. . . EWWW! Kagome shuddered with revulsion. No matter how aesthetically pleasing the two were, it was still wrong.
"It's not what it looks like," Inuyasha protested, fear evident on his now paling countenance.
"Really?" Kagome asked, nearly stuttering she was so furious. "Because it looked like you were about to suck off your own half-brother." She made a sound to demonstrate just how disgusting she found this whole situation. It had been one thing to believe he was going out to meet his estranged lover. . .it was another thing entirely to find out who that lover was.
Unwisely, Sesshomaru chose to respond with, "Oh, then I suppose it was exactly what it looked like."
"Huh." Kagome's left eye twitched. "Sit!"
The brothers, who had not really bothered to disentangle themselves, both crashed to ground in a red and white pile.
"I can not believe you're fucking your brother, Inuyasha!" the girl shouted down at the dog-demons, another tremor running up her spine. "I thought you hated each other."
Inuyasha was helpless to answer her, his face being still firmly planted in ten or twelve inches of topsoil. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, was struggling to free himself from the half-demon's momentarily subdued form.
"Hate might be too strong a word," he told her, again with out nearly enough embarrassment in his aristocratic features.
"I'll say!" Kagome fumed, fixing her anger momentarily on the older brother. "What the hell's gotten into you? You hate humans, and you despise your brother."
"Half-brother," the Sesshomaru corrected. "And I never said I liked him. He's just so sexy. . ." The great demon trailed of with an unsatisfied pout.
'He did not just say that,' Kagome's mind screamed. By this point, Inuyasha was struggling to his feet. "And just what do you have to say for yourself, you sick bastard?"
"Why should I have to say anything?" he demanded, his ears laying back flat with irritation. "I don't have to explain myself to you!"
"Well, what about Kikyo?" Kagome shot back, remembering the reason she had followed Inuyasha in the first place. "I thought you loved her."
"I did, but she's dead. What kind of sick fetishist do you think I am?"
"Icky," Sesshomaru commented primly as he straightened his mussed clothing. "I don't think even Inuyasha would sleep with a dead person."
"That's something, coming from you two. Wait. . ." Kagome's eyes got wider as the full meaning of Sesshomaru's jibe hit her. "Who else have you been sleeping with?"
"Well, I. . .You see I. . ." he false started, his face turning very red.
"Now you blush!"
"It's one of his more endearing charms." Sesshomaru gave half a smile.
"Shut up you!" the girl yelled at him before turning back to the blushing Inuyasha. "Who else? I'll say the S-word a thousand times if you don't tell me, I swear it."
He was now approximately the same color as a strawberry, but he was inching up on tomato. "Well, you know about Sesshomaru--" Kagome nodded and gestured impatiently for him to continue, "-- and there was Kouga, and the Thunder Brothers..."
"So you're gay?" she asked archly. She was still furious, but if his preference lay elsewhere, she might almost be able to forgive him for this, eventually.
"No," he answered very quickly, waving the notion away and banishing any hope of ever being forgiven. "There was Kagura and, let's see. . .Yura of the Hair. . . and that girl at the temple with the spiders, what was her name again? . . . and the Water Goddess, and. . . well, Shippo, of course."
"Shippo!" the girl shrieked, appalled. "But he's. . .he's just a. . ."
"What?" Inuyasha asked, looked genuinely startled. "He's a fox-demon. They're tricksters. You didn't actually believe in that cute little kid act did you? Shit. Even he doesn't think you really buy that routine any more. Do you want me to continue or not?"
"There's more?"
"Yeah well, um Sango and Miroku, but I'm not sure if it counts, it was a three-way," seeing the murderous look in Kagome's eyes, he obviously assumed it did and pressed on.
"And Kaede," he finished, "but I was really, really drunk at the time, so I don't think that should count."
"What, not Naraku?" Kagome asked, her tone dripping sarcasm.
"No, of course not Naraku. That's disgusting." He actually looked a little hurt that she accused him it. Then his expression changed to one of mild confusion. "Just oral doesn't count, right?"
Kagome had not thought it was physically possible to get any angrier than she had been. She was utterly mistaken. It was possible to get twice that angry and then some. "Yes," she hissed.
"Giving or receiving?"
"Yes!"
"Oh. . . in that case, Naraku. And that kid from your time, Hobo or whatever...and Kirara." He made a show of trying to recall something, then nodded. "I think that's it."
For a long time Kagome did not say anything. She had no idea what to say. She was so mad, so incredibly, unbelievably furious, that her brain refused to function, and all she could do was stand there and stare at the object of her wrath. Sesshomaru's expression had become anything but reproachful as he listened to his brother list off his various partners. It was he who broke the silence.
"Inuyasha," he said, sounding wry and almost proud, "you slut."
"You. . ." Kagome struggled to find any word to contain her emotions. She settled on, "Sit!" Inuyasha obediently plummeted to the ground. Having found her voice, Kagome began giving vent to her anger (using some phrases she had learned from the half-demon in question). "You ass! You sick, twisted fuck! You are seriously disturbed. Are Kikyo and I the only fucking people in this whole fucking era you haven't slept with? You dirty cock-whore. How dare you ever get all possessive and jealous over me! And how dare you worry about me and Hojo! You piece of shit. I should rip your whole over-sexed body into pieces the size of chicken nuggets, you disgusting bitch! How did any of this even happen? I mean. . . Did you say Kirara?"
Inuyasha, who by this point in Kagome's rant had managed to pull himself back to his feet, shook his head and grimaced. "Don't ask."
"And. . . Hojo?"
"Is that his name?" Inuyasha wisely flinched, quickly adding, "Don't answer that. I wouldn't have ever even considered going down on him if I wasn't totally wasted at the time."
"How. . .?" she trailed off, fairly certain she did not want an explanation.
He gave one anyway. "I went through the well to find you, but you weren't there and I got bored, so I went to this party. After I had a couple of cans of Beast and about half a dozen bong rips, this kid comes up and started scratching my ears, and then one thing led to another."
"He scratched your ears?"
"Yeah, that's how it usually starts," he admitted with a self- depreciating half smile.
"I know that's how I got him," Sesshomaru offered helpfully. Kagome spared some of her anger to glare at the dog demon. Did he ever figure out when to shut up?
"But I touched your ears, and we didn't do anything," she protested.
"Yeah," Inuyasha agreed. "Weird. I think that's the only time that's happened."
"And so did my mother," Kagome said, then, her eyes narrowing with the sudden desire to tear those cute little ears off his miserable head.
"Oh, yeah and-"
"Don't you dare finish saying that," Kagome interrupted. If he said that, she would be forced into a sudden, brutal act of violence, and she did not want him to get off easy because she killed him too quickly. "How could you? We're supposed to have a Kagome/Inuyasha/Kikyo triangle. You ruined it!" Tears were starting to burn Kagome's eyes again, but this time they had nothing to do with sadness. "How can we fit all those people in a love triangle? The only two people you're supposed to be attracted to are the only to are the only two you haven't slept with!"
"Well, technically we-"
"That doesn't count!"
"But you said-"
"I said it doesn't count, so it doesn't count!"
"You already had Kouga and that Hoho bitch following you around," Inuyasha huffed. "It was really more of a love pentagon anyway."
"So that make's it alright that you went out and made yourself a dodecohedron or. . ." Kagome stumbled, trying to recall how many people he'd named. After trying three times and getting three different numbers, she gave up. "I don't even know what shape that makes, but it's really fucked up."
"Kagome, I never said I loved any of them," he defended weakly. "I sort of have a love/hate relationship with Sesshomaru, but that's all."
"And that's supposed to make it better?" Kagome shouted. "Ugh! Sit!"
Once again, Inuyasha communed with the dirt. He twitched futilely, trying to fight the power of the prayer beads around his neck, but his face remained pressed into the growing crater her 'sit's were creating.
"What the fuck's wrong with you?" the girl screamed at Inuyasha's prone form.
"Personally, I think a fear of rejection stemming from his fucked up childhood and previous bad relationships makes him act out sexually," Sesshomaru told her with an authoritative air. "Plus, he is half demon."
Kagome thrust her shaking hands through her hair and forced herself to take a deep breath in a pointless bid to reign in her emotions. She wanted to kill them both. Inuyasha for being such a slut, and Sesshomaru for touching her Inuyasha that way. It had been alright when she'd thought he was running off to see Kikyo--at least in a weird sort of way he still loved her when he did that--but that someone else should lay hands on what was hers was totally and absolutely intolerable. 'Who's fucked up now?' a little voice in the back of her head accused, but she ignored it.
"I--I can't deal with this," she stuttered out finally. "I--Good bye." She turned on her heel and walked away, muttering under her breath while her brain ranted like a new admittee to a mental ward. 'Oh, I can't believe this. He's always been so shy. He hates being touched. This is way too screwed up. It's surreal. It has to be a dream.' She pinched herself. "Ow!" Not a dream then. 'Oh, I'm going to make him pay. I'm going to sit him so many times he'll never even think about sex again without wincing. I'll do things to him that will have him singing soprano for the rest of his unnatural life. I'll. . .'
She was tromping mindlessly through the undergrowth when she looked back and saw Inuyasha finally prying his pretty face out of the ground. He shook his head and cursed vehemently.
"Sorry, Sessh, I've got to talk to her," Kagome heard him tell his brother.
"I'll wait," Sesshomaru purred. "I don't mind sharing."
Kagome screamed wordlessly and continued to trample any and all helpless vegetation in her path. 'I'll kill him first,' she decided, 'first Sesshomaru, then Inuyasha. I'll chain them both up in the garage and take weeks to kill each of them! Maybe be by the time I finish with the great-and-powerful Sesshomaru I'll have vented off enough frustration to let his brother of with a severe beating. Impossible. I'll kill them both, and that's all there it to it. But first I'll cut of Sesshomaru's hands. . .'
"You'll stay away from me if you know what's good for you!" she shouted into the dark woods around her, knowing that the half-demon had already caught up with her. "You'll stay away from me for the next decade or so." She knew he was following her, but he wisely chose to remain silent as the girl rampaged back toward their camp. Camp? Her eyes narrowed as her anger flared to yet new heights. How could no one have told her? And Shippo. . .
"Maybe I'll kill Shippo first," she hissed, stopping in her tracks. "But it is his nature to be tricky. Perhaps I'll just maim him?" The memory of that insufferably adorable little furball snuggled happily in her sleeping bag, his child's hands roaming oh-so innocently over her as he slept or begged for attention firmly banished any notion of mercy on the fox-demon. She would kill him, but not until after Sesshomaru. Or maybe not. Inuyasha had said he'd slept with Shippo as well.
"Having trouble deciding who to slaughter first?" Inuyasha asked. He was still blushing; she could see it in the moonlight.
"How would you know?" Kagome snapped.
"Usually I get to make that face," he quipped, too humorously for the girl. 'Inuyasha first. Definitely Inuyasha first. Then Sesshomaru, then Shippo, then...'
"Kirara?" she demanded, clenching her fists. She imagined she must be very red. Her cheeks felt as though they were on fire. She did not care in the least. "And Kouga...and god alone knows who else. Your own brother, for fuck's sake! What kind of pervert are you? You hypocrite. Every time anyone makes a pass at me, you nearly kill them, but you were fucking all of them!"
"I know where all those sick bastards have been."
Kagome did not think that was very funny.
"Ah ha, yeah, right," he continued, having the nerve to get flustered. "It's just, you're so innocent. . . and I wanted to protect you."
"Protect me?!" 'I will not kill him,' she thought furiously. 'I will wait to kill him until after I'm through yelling at him. Maybe I should kill Shippo first. I'm not going to be done yelling at Inuyasha for a long time. By the time I'm through, he's going to wish I killed him first.' Aloud, she vented, "Where the hell do you get off thinking you have any right to protect me? Or to act all fucking possessive all the goddamn time?"
"I'm. . . a dog-demon," he said, almost shy. Shy! When did he think he had earned the privilege to be shy? "We're sort of territorial."
"Territorial?" she asked, so sweetly he winced. "Territorial?! Why in gods' name did you think you get to be territorial of me? Are you fucking territorial of Kouga to?"
"Can we stop bringing the wolf into this. I grant that sleeping with him was a mistake."
"A mistake!" she interrupted. "You think? What about all the others, were they mistakes, too?"
". . .most of them," Inuyasha ceded.
"Most of them? Fucking 'most' of them! Who the hell wasn't a mistake? If you say Sesshomaru I'm going to gouge out your freaking eyes, you insufferable ass!" As she pressed on, Kagome's voice got louder and louder until she was shrieking like a banshee. "How could-"
"Enough with the yelling!" Inuyasha bellowed, ears pressed tightly against his skull. "God, bitch, maybe that's why we never slept together."
Wrong thing to say.
"Si-"
"No, wait!" the half-demon broke in, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I just want to talk! Can we talk? Please."
Kagome's eyes narrowed. "Sit."
Once again, he was renewing his relationship with the earth's crust. It made Kagome feel marginally better to see him eating dirt like that. She sat down on the ground, waiting for the spell to wear off while Inuyasha cursed unintelligibly (due to a mouth full of soil and dead leaves).
"--bitch," he finished, pushing himself up.
"You want to talk?" she inquired venomously. "Let's talk."
Inuyasha watched her wearily as he assumed his standard sitting position, arms and legs both crossed. He'd wanted to talk, but it looked like he didn't know what he was going to say. His yellow eyes were suspicious. With good reason, too, given the circumstance.
"You already knew I was fucked up," he said after an uncomfortably long pause.
He just kept digging himself in deeper, didn't he?
"Oh, don't you even start-"
"Will you let me finish!" he shouted. Kagome stopped, glaring at him, but motioned for him to continue. "Okay. Thank you. Shit. Anyway, like I said, I'm really fuck up. I admit it. I usually don't claim otherwise." He took a deep breath, apparently steeling his resolve, and continued. "I loved Kikyo. And, predictably, I fucked it up. It's a talent, I guess."
"You didn't," Kagome began, habitually, but stopped. She was not going to defend him. But Kikyo still wasn't his fault.
"I fucked it up. I had some outside help, but eventually, I would have fucked it up on my own anyway. I never slept with Kikyo, because she was a shrine maiden and the maiden part is kinda important to the job. I loved her, she died, should be end of story, and in a way, it was. But," he held up a hand to forestall any words that were on Kagome's lips. She frowned, but remained quiet. "But, she's walking around now, because she hates me, and I can't let it end without her knowing I loved her and always will. But she is dead. I'm not an idiot."
"Could have fooled me," Kagome muttered.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."
"Pretend whatever you want. It won't change anything."
"I'm not finished yet," Inuyasha growled, then sighed. "I loved you, too."
Shock washed away Kagome's anger for the briefest flickering instant. 'Did he actually say that?' she wondered. 'It doesn't matter, I'm still gonna kill him. Maybe I'll kill him more now. I haven't decided.'
"I loved you, too," he repeated, "but I knew I would just fuck it up, because I always fuck it up. So I did nothing, and a part of me wanted to let you go be happy with someone else--preferably not Hojo--but I'm a dog- demon, and like I said, we're territorial. Perhaps if I were human, I could have done it." He shrugged. "I didn't sleep with you because I didn't want to fuck it up again. I'm sorry."
'Alright. He's sorry. I won't kill him. But there's no way he's getting off that easy.' "Who the hell said I wanted to sleep with you?"
"You wouldn't be so upset if you didn't," he said, and the twin of that smirk he'd worn when he was about to go down on his brother graced his face. Kagome glared daggers at him, recognizing that expression only too readily. He inhaled sharply, smile vanishing, and continued, "I didn't want to fuck it up with you. I slept with those others because it didn't matter if I fucked it up with them--that was all I was to them after all: a pretty good lay. Besides, until now, I didn't think it mattered to you."
'This guy has some serious self-esteem problems.' She shook her head to rid it of estimates on how many years of therapy Inuyasha would need. "You should have told me," she said, surprising herself. Was mental illness really an excuse? And even if it was, did she really want to get involved with someone this messed up? "It wasn't your decision alone to make. My feelings are stuck in this, too."
'I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry,' Kagome gave up on all her internal debates for that mantra. If she cried, he'd think she'd forgiven him, and she hadn't. Had she? Hell no. First off, he'd still slept with all those people (even though he'd assumed she wasn't interested.) And second, he'd completely left her out of a huge choice that affected both of them, not just himself (even though he hadn't been aware that she'd made any claims that would entitle her to help make that choice). Either way, he was still a selfish bastard.
That did it. She was crying. She wanted to be mad at him, and continue to fantasize about all the tortures he richly deserved, but she just couldn't. He hadn't lied when he said he was fucked up, though. Shit. What the hell would she be getting into if she let herself get involved with that? 'Can half-demons carry STDs?' It was all too much. He'd broken her heart, then, after so long, said the words she had really, really wanted to hear ever since that stupid incident with the spider's poison. Maybe even before then. So she cried.
And a warm, rough tongue licked the tears off her left cheek.
Kagome's face immediately became a study in wide-eyed anime surprise. Future generations would look at pictures of her in the classes where they taught such things, and they would all be in awe of her tremendous, dewy gaze, her flushed cheeks, and tiny, trembling mouth. Other cartoon characters would actually dislocate joints attempting to mimic her perfect expression.
"I'm sorry, Kagome," he said, practice seemingly making it easier. "I should not have decided that without you. This time, I leave it entirely in your hands."
Kagome opened her mouth to protest that that was not fair either. He should have a say, and damn it, she did not want to decide something like that on her own. Her unformed argument died when she was swept into a kiss.
It was an unbelievable kiss. Not that the girl had much basis for comparison, but she knew intuitively that she was being spoiled for anyone who should happen to have the ill luck to follow. It was tender, without being too soft. He took advantage of her open mouth and let his tongue explore, but never once did she feel invaded by it. What was more, she felt fangs gently graze her lips, and a soft, throaty rumble that was half- growl, half purr, and made her melt into his arms. Humans would not be able to compete. But most of all, she loved him, selfish idiot of a half demon that he might be.
When he released her, she could only murmur against his chest, "Hmmm. You're good at that."
"Well," he said with a chuckle. "Practice makes perfect.
"Inuyasha," she said again, looking up into his warm golden eyes and victorious smile.
"Hm?"
"Sit."
The End.
Okay, I realize the end is a little corny, but it had to be said. I also realize that Sesshomaru would never say 'Icky,' but I think it's funny. Hope you enjoyed. If so. . . (Saro thinks about it for a second, then does a little happy dance.) If not. . . (Saro thinks again, then shrugs and does another little happy dance.)
Tell me if there's anyone you think I should add to Inuyasha's list. I only see episodes as they air on Cartoon Network, and I missed some of the first ones.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Wait, scratch that, I don't even own 'nothing'; I rent.
Warning: This contains humor some people might find to be inappropriate. If you have a problem with cursing and sexual references, I advise you not to read this. Also, there will be a lot of OOC, but it is all intentional.
Kagome sensed when Inuyasha left. He did not make a single sound, but he did not have to. She could feel his demonic presence creeping off, trying to be small and inconspicuous. 'He's probably going to some tryst with Kikyo,' the girl thought sullenly. 'He'll proclaim his undying love for her and let himself be drug down to hell.' For some moments, Kagome just lay there, her awareness of the half-demon slowly fading as he grew farther away. He was not moving fast; nowhere near the speeds he was capable of.
"I shouldn't follow him," she told herself sternly, tears already stinging her eyes. "I don't want to see it if he's meeting her." But a morbid, self-destructive need to know whether she was right or not was already pulling her out of her sleeping bag, and leading her though the darkened forest. She more than half expected Inuyasha to swoop back and find her, tell her that where he was going was none of her damned business, but he did not. Instead, he continued steadily on, slowly enough that she was able to catch glimpses of his white hair ghosting through the branches.
Kagome followed, fighting the bitterness that welled up in her, even though she had not yet confirmed his destination. She had to know, even if the truth would kill her, she had to know it. She did not allow herself to cry. If she cried, he would know she was there instantly.
They arrived at a clearing so suddenly that Kagome almost stumbled into it and gave herself away. Inuyasha leaned against a rock face, eyes closed, bathed in moonlight. She hid in the bushes, wondering why he did not seem to hear her, or smell her with his dog-keen senses.
'So this is it,' the poor girl thought in despair. 'It certainly is romantic enough. . . he's so beautiful, standing there like that.' Against all odds, her heart sunk further.
When someone else did appear in the clearing, it was not who Kagome had expected.
"Sesshomaru. . .?" the girl mouthed silently, then gathered her breath to call a warning to Inuyasha, but the half dog-demon cracked open one golden eye at the new arrival, and turned to look squarely at his brother. Kagome let her shout die on her tongue. What was going on here?
"Whelp," Sesshomaru greeted Inuyasha. Oddly, it seemed to Kagome that his tone lacked its customary quiet disdain. What's more, the demon's expression held little of the malevolent indifference that Kagome had always assumed was Sesshomaru's trademark.
"Brother," Inuyasha acknowledged softly, opening his other eye and smirking. The smile was not the same one he sometimes wore before a fight. She hardly recognized it. Kagome was becoming increasingly uneasy. Nervously she scanned the surroundings for that vile toad that followed Sesshomaru around. She saw no sign of him, nor did either brother make any move to attack. They simply faced one another, Sesshomaru not quite as stoic as was normally his wont, Inuyasha with hooded eyes and an extremely cocky smile tugging up his lips.
Watching, Kagome was not sure if she should reveal herself and stand by Inuyasha, or if she should remain hidden. 'He would want me to run. . .' She was still debating with herself when Sesshomaru moved, faster than the human eye could follow, and was manifestly towering over Inuyasha, who still leaned nonchalantly against the stone outcropping. Kagome's heart leapt into her throat so it seemed it would choke her.
Then Sesshomaru reached across the small distance separating him from his brother, and touched his jaw lightly with perfectly formed white claws. With a deftness that spoke of repetition, Inuyasha's mouth was guided to meet the demon's own descending lips.
'What the hell?' Shock hit the girl like a MAC truck. She couldn't think, let alone figure out the proper response to seeing the object of one's unrequited love kissing his demon half-brother. Rather passionately, at that. She could only watch as Inuyasha opened his mouth and slipped his tongue into the kiss, a blush suffusing his cheeks. She could only watch as Sesshomaru ran his hand under his younger brother's clothing to massage his neck and shoulder. She watched as Inuyasha was pulled closer to Sesshomaru, and as Sesshomaru sifted Inuyasha's pale hair through his fingers. She saw Sesshomaru's honeyed eyes turn hazy as the half-demon began to make his way across his older brother's elegant jaw, pointed ears, and down his neck in a trail of fierce kisses and teasing nibbles.
When Inuyasha roughly shoved Sesshomaru against the rock wall and knelt down with a peculiar, almost victorious look on his flushed face, Kagome could no longer just watch.
"What the flying fuck?!" the girl's voice rang out, startling both brothers. She crashed into the clearing like rage incarnate, stomping up to the pair who regarded her with a great deal of surprise, and not nearly enough shame for Kagome's taste. Anyone caught doing 'that' with his brother ought to look like they were about to die of embarrassment. It was nasty, and incestuous, and. . . EWWW! Kagome shuddered with revulsion. No matter how aesthetically pleasing the two were, it was still wrong.
"It's not what it looks like," Inuyasha protested, fear evident on his now paling countenance.
"Really?" Kagome asked, nearly stuttering she was so furious. "Because it looked like you were about to suck off your own half-brother." She made a sound to demonstrate just how disgusting she found this whole situation. It had been one thing to believe he was going out to meet his estranged lover. . .it was another thing entirely to find out who that lover was.
Unwisely, Sesshomaru chose to respond with, "Oh, then I suppose it was exactly what it looked like."
"Huh." Kagome's left eye twitched. "Sit!"
The brothers, who had not really bothered to disentangle themselves, both crashed to ground in a red and white pile.
"I can not believe you're fucking your brother, Inuyasha!" the girl shouted down at the dog-demons, another tremor running up her spine. "I thought you hated each other."
Inuyasha was helpless to answer her, his face being still firmly planted in ten or twelve inches of topsoil. Sesshomaru, on the other hand, was struggling to free himself from the half-demon's momentarily subdued form.
"Hate might be too strong a word," he told her, again with out nearly enough embarrassment in his aristocratic features.
"I'll say!" Kagome fumed, fixing her anger momentarily on the older brother. "What the hell's gotten into you? You hate humans, and you despise your brother."
"Half-brother," the Sesshomaru corrected. "And I never said I liked him. He's just so sexy. . ." The great demon trailed of with an unsatisfied pout.
'He did not just say that,' Kagome's mind screamed. By this point, Inuyasha was struggling to his feet. "And just what do you have to say for yourself, you sick bastard?"
"Why should I have to say anything?" he demanded, his ears laying back flat with irritation. "I don't have to explain myself to you!"
"Well, what about Kikyo?" Kagome shot back, remembering the reason she had followed Inuyasha in the first place. "I thought you loved her."
"I did, but she's dead. What kind of sick fetishist do you think I am?"
"Icky," Sesshomaru commented primly as he straightened his mussed clothing. "I don't think even Inuyasha would sleep with a dead person."
"That's something, coming from you two. Wait. . ." Kagome's eyes got wider as the full meaning of Sesshomaru's jibe hit her. "Who else have you been sleeping with?"
"Well, I. . .You see I. . ." he false started, his face turning very red.
"Now you blush!"
"It's one of his more endearing charms." Sesshomaru gave half a smile.
"Shut up you!" the girl yelled at him before turning back to the blushing Inuyasha. "Who else? I'll say the S-word a thousand times if you don't tell me, I swear it."
He was now approximately the same color as a strawberry, but he was inching up on tomato. "Well, you know about Sesshomaru--" Kagome nodded and gestured impatiently for him to continue, "-- and there was Kouga, and the Thunder Brothers..."
"So you're gay?" she asked archly. She was still furious, but if his preference lay elsewhere, she might almost be able to forgive him for this, eventually.
"No," he answered very quickly, waving the notion away and banishing any hope of ever being forgiven. "There was Kagura and, let's see. . .Yura of the Hair. . . and that girl at the temple with the spiders, what was her name again? . . . and the Water Goddess, and. . . well, Shippo, of course."
"Shippo!" the girl shrieked, appalled. "But he's. . .he's just a. . ."
"What?" Inuyasha asked, looked genuinely startled. "He's a fox-demon. They're tricksters. You didn't actually believe in that cute little kid act did you? Shit. Even he doesn't think you really buy that routine any more. Do you want me to continue or not?"
"There's more?"
"Yeah well, um Sango and Miroku, but I'm not sure if it counts, it was a three-way," seeing the murderous look in Kagome's eyes, he obviously assumed it did and pressed on.
"And Kaede," he finished, "but I was really, really drunk at the time, so I don't think that should count."
"What, not Naraku?" Kagome asked, her tone dripping sarcasm.
"No, of course not Naraku. That's disgusting." He actually looked a little hurt that she accused him it. Then his expression changed to one of mild confusion. "Just oral doesn't count, right?"
Kagome had not thought it was physically possible to get any angrier than she had been. She was utterly mistaken. It was possible to get twice that angry and then some. "Yes," she hissed.
"Giving or receiving?"
"Yes!"
"Oh. . . in that case, Naraku. And that kid from your time, Hobo or whatever...and Kirara." He made a show of trying to recall something, then nodded. "I think that's it."
For a long time Kagome did not say anything. She had no idea what to say. She was so mad, so incredibly, unbelievably furious, that her brain refused to function, and all she could do was stand there and stare at the object of her wrath. Sesshomaru's expression had become anything but reproachful as he listened to his brother list off his various partners. It was he who broke the silence.
"Inuyasha," he said, sounding wry and almost proud, "you slut."
"You. . ." Kagome struggled to find any word to contain her emotions. She settled on, "Sit!" Inuyasha obediently plummeted to the ground. Having found her voice, Kagome began giving vent to her anger (using some phrases she had learned from the half-demon in question). "You ass! You sick, twisted fuck! You are seriously disturbed. Are Kikyo and I the only fucking people in this whole fucking era you haven't slept with? You dirty cock-whore. How dare you ever get all possessive and jealous over me! And how dare you worry about me and Hojo! You piece of shit. I should rip your whole over-sexed body into pieces the size of chicken nuggets, you disgusting bitch! How did any of this even happen? I mean. . . Did you say Kirara?"
Inuyasha, who by this point in Kagome's rant had managed to pull himself back to his feet, shook his head and grimaced. "Don't ask."
"And. . . Hojo?"
"Is that his name?" Inuyasha wisely flinched, quickly adding, "Don't answer that. I wouldn't have ever even considered going down on him if I wasn't totally wasted at the time."
"How. . .?" she trailed off, fairly certain she did not want an explanation.
He gave one anyway. "I went through the well to find you, but you weren't there and I got bored, so I went to this party. After I had a couple of cans of Beast and about half a dozen bong rips, this kid comes up and started scratching my ears, and then one thing led to another."
"He scratched your ears?"
"Yeah, that's how it usually starts," he admitted with a self- depreciating half smile.
"I know that's how I got him," Sesshomaru offered helpfully. Kagome spared some of her anger to glare at the dog demon. Did he ever figure out when to shut up?
"But I touched your ears, and we didn't do anything," she protested.
"Yeah," Inuyasha agreed. "Weird. I think that's the only time that's happened."
"And so did my mother," Kagome said, then, her eyes narrowing with the sudden desire to tear those cute little ears off his miserable head.
"Oh, yeah and-"
"Don't you dare finish saying that," Kagome interrupted. If he said that, she would be forced into a sudden, brutal act of violence, and she did not want him to get off easy because she killed him too quickly. "How could you? We're supposed to have a Kagome/Inuyasha/Kikyo triangle. You ruined it!" Tears were starting to burn Kagome's eyes again, but this time they had nothing to do with sadness. "How can we fit all those people in a love triangle? The only two people you're supposed to be attracted to are the only to are the only two you haven't slept with!"
"Well, technically we-"
"That doesn't count!"
"But you said-"
"I said it doesn't count, so it doesn't count!"
"You already had Kouga and that Hoho bitch following you around," Inuyasha huffed. "It was really more of a love pentagon anyway."
"So that make's it alright that you went out and made yourself a dodecohedron or. . ." Kagome stumbled, trying to recall how many people he'd named. After trying three times and getting three different numbers, she gave up. "I don't even know what shape that makes, but it's really fucked up."
"Kagome, I never said I loved any of them," he defended weakly. "I sort of have a love/hate relationship with Sesshomaru, but that's all."
"And that's supposed to make it better?" Kagome shouted. "Ugh! Sit!"
Once again, Inuyasha communed with the dirt. He twitched futilely, trying to fight the power of the prayer beads around his neck, but his face remained pressed into the growing crater her 'sit's were creating.
"What the fuck's wrong with you?" the girl screamed at Inuyasha's prone form.
"Personally, I think a fear of rejection stemming from his fucked up childhood and previous bad relationships makes him act out sexually," Sesshomaru told her with an authoritative air. "Plus, he is half demon."
Kagome thrust her shaking hands through her hair and forced herself to take a deep breath in a pointless bid to reign in her emotions. She wanted to kill them both. Inuyasha for being such a slut, and Sesshomaru for touching her Inuyasha that way. It had been alright when she'd thought he was running off to see Kikyo--at least in a weird sort of way he still loved her when he did that--but that someone else should lay hands on what was hers was totally and absolutely intolerable. 'Who's fucked up now?' a little voice in the back of her head accused, but she ignored it.
"I--I can't deal with this," she stuttered out finally. "I--Good bye." She turned on her heel and walked away, muttering under her breath while her brain ranted like a new admittee to a mental ward. 'Oh, I can't believe this. He's always been so shy. He hates being touched. This is way too screwed up. It's surreal. It has to be a dream.' She pinched herself. "Ow!" Not a dream then. 'Oh, I'm going to make him pay. I'm going to sit him so many times he'll never even think about sex again without wincing. I'll do things to him that will have him singing soprano for the rest of his unnatural life. I'll. . .'
She was tromping mindlessly through the undergrowth when she looked back and saw Inuyasha finally prying his pretty face out of the ground. He shook his head and cursed vehemently.
"Sorry, Sessh, I've got to talk to her," Kagome heard him tell his brother.
"I'll wait," Sesshomaru purred. "I don't mind sharing."
Kagome screamed wordlessly and continued to trample any and all helpless vegetation in her path. 'I'll kill him first,' she decided, 'first Sesshomaru, then Inuyasha. I'll chain them both up in the garage and take weeks to kill each of them! Maybe be by the time I finish with the great-and-powerful Sesshomaru I'll have vented off enough frustration to let his brother of with a severe beating. Impossible. I'll kill them both, and that's all there it to it. But first I'll cut of Sesshomaru's hands. . .'
"You'll stay away from me if you know what's good for you!" she shouted into the dark woods around her, knowing that the half-demon had already caught up with her. "You'll stay away from me for the next decade or so." She knew he was following her, but he wisely chose to remain silent as the girl rampaged back toward their camp. Camp? Her eyes narrowed as her anger flared to yet new heights. How could no one have told her? And Shippo. . .
"Maybe I'll kill Shippo first," she hissed, stopping in her tracks. "But it is his nature to be tricky. Perhaps I'll just maim him?" The memory of that insufferably adorable little furball snuggled happily in her sleeping bag, his child's hands roaming oh-so innocently over her as he slept or begged for attention firmly banished any notion of mercy on the fox-demon. She would kill him, but not until after Sesshomaru. Or maybe not. Inuyasha had said he'd slept with Shippo as well.
"Having trouble deciding who to slaughter first?" Inuyasha asked. He was still blushing; she could see it in the moonlight.
"How would you know?" Kagome snapped.
"Usually I get to make that face," he quipped, too humorously for the girl. 'Inuyasha first. Definitely Inuyasha first. Then Sesshomaru, then Shippo, then...'
"Kirara?" she demanded, clenching her fists. She imagined she must be very red. Her cheeks felt as though they were on fire. She did not care in the least. "And Kouga...and god alone knows who else. Your own brother, for fuck's sake! What kind of pervert are you? You hypocrite. Every time anyone makes a pass at me, you nearly kill them, but you were fucking all of them!"
"I know where all those sick bastards have been."
Kagome did not think that was very funny.
"Ah ha, yeah, right," he continued, having the nerve to get flustered. "It's just, you're so innocent. . . and I wanted to protect you."
"Protect me?!" 'I will not kill him,' she thought furiously. 'I will wait to kill him until after I'm through yelling at him. Maybe I should kill Shippo first. I'm not going to be done yelling at Inuyasha for a long time. By the time I'm through, he's going to wish I killed him first.' Aloud, she vented, "Where the hell do you get off thinking you have any right to protect me? Or to act all fucking possessive all the goddamn time?"
"I'm. . . a dog-demon," he said, almost shy. Shy! When did he think he had earned the privilege to be shy? "We're sort of territorial."
"Territorial?" she asked, so sweetly he winced. "Territorial?! Why in gods' name did you think you get to be territorial of me? Are you fucking territorial of Kouga to?"
"Can we stop bringing the wolf into this. I grant that sleeping with him was a mistake."
"A mistake!" she interrupted. "You think? What about all the others, were they mistakes, too?"
". . .most of them," Inuyasha ceded.
"Most of them? Fucking 'most' of them! Who the hell wasn't a mistake? If you say Sesshomaru I'm going to gouge out your freaking eyes, you insufferable ass!" As she pressed on, Kagome's voice got louder and louder until she was shrieking like a banshee. "How could-"
"Enough with the yelling!" Inuyasha bellowed, ears pressed tightly against his skull. "God, bitch, maybe that's why we never slept together."
Wrong thing to say.
"Si-"
"No, wait!" the half-demon broke in, raising his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I just want to talk! Can we talk? Please."
Kagome's eyes narrowed. "Sit."
Once again, he was renewing his relationship with the earth's crust. It made Kagome feel marginally better to see him eating dirt like that. She sat down on the ground, waiting for the spell to wear off while Inuyasha cursed unintelligibly (due to a mouth full of soil and dead leaves).
"--bitch," he finished, pushing himself up.
"You want to talk?" she inquired venomously. "Let's talk."
Inuyasha watched her wearily as he assumed his standard sitting position, arms and legs both crossed. He'd wanted to talk, but it looked like he didn't know what he was going to say. His yellow eyes were suspicious. With good reason, too, given the circumstance.
"You already knew I was fucked up," he said after an uncomfortably long pause.
He just kept digging himself in deeper, didn't he?
"Oh, don't you even start-"
"Will you let me finish!" he shouted. Kagome stopped, glaring at him, but motioned for him to continue. "Okay. Thank you. Shit. Anyway, like I said, I'm really fuck up. I admit it. I usually don't claim otherwise." He took a deep breath, apparently steeling his resolve, and continued. "I loved Kikyo. And, predictably, I fucked it up. It's a talent, I guess."
"You didn't," Kagome began, habitually, but stopped. She was not going to defend him. But Kikyo still wasn't his fault.
"I fucked it up. I had some outside help, but eventually, I would have fucked it up on my own anyway. I never slept with Kikyo, because she was a shrine maiden and the maiden part is kinda important to the job. I loved her, she died, should be end of story, and in a way, it was. But," he held up a hand to forestall any words that were on Kagome's lips. She frowned, but remained quiet. "But, she's walking around now, because she hates me, and I can't let it end without her knowing I loved her and always will. But she is dead. I'm not an idiot."
"Could have fooled me," Kagome muttered.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that."
"Pretend whatever you want. It won't change anything."
"I'm not finished yet," Inuyasha growled, then sighed. "I loved you, too."
Shock washed away Kagome's anger for the briefest flickering instant. 'Did he actually say that?' she wondered. 'It doesn't matter, I'm still gonna kill him. Maybe I'll kill him more now. I haven't decided.'
"I loved you, too," he repeated, "but I knew I would just fuck it up, because I always fuck it up. So I did nothing, and a part of me wanted to let you go be happy with someone else--preferably not Hojo--but I'm a dog- demon, and like I said, we're territorial. Perhaps if I were human, I could have done it." He shrugged. "I didn't sleep with you because I didn't want to fuck it up again. I'm sorry."
'Alright. He's sorry. I won't kill him. But there's no way he's getting off that easy.' "Who the hell said I wanted to sleep with you?"
"You wouldn't be so upset if you didn't," he said, and the twin of that smirk he'd worn when he was about to go down on his brother graced his face. Kagome glared daggers at him, recognizing that expression only too readily. He inhaled sharply, smile vanishing, and continued, "I didn't want to fuck it up with you. I slept with those others because it didn't matter if I fucked it up with them--that was all I was to them after all: a pretty good lay. Besides, until now, I didn't think it mattered to you."
'This guy has some serious self-esteem problems.' She shook her head to rid it of estimates on how many years of therapy Inuyasha would need. "You should have told me," she said, surprising herself. Was mental illness really an excuse? And even if it was, did she really want to get involved with someone this messed up? "It wasn't your decision alone to make. My feelings are stuck in this, too."
'I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry,' Kagome gave up on all her internal debates for that mantra. If she cried, he'd think she'd forgiven him, and she hadn't. Had she? Hell no. First off, he'd still slept with all those people (even though he'd assumed she wasn't interested.) And second, he'd completely left her out of a huge choice that affected both of them, not just himself (even though he hadn't been aware that she'd made any claims that would entitle her to help make that choice). Either way, he was still a selfish bastard.
That did it. She was crying. She wanted to be mad at him, and continue to fantasize about all the tortures he richly deserved, but she just couldn't. He hadn't lied when he said he was fucked up, though. Shit. What the hell would she be getting into if she let herself get involved with that? 'Can half-demons carry STDs?' It was all too much. He'd broken her heart, then, after so long, said the words she had really, really wanted to hear ever since that stupid incident with the spider's poison. Maybe even before then. So she cried.
And a warm, rough tongue licked the tears off her left cheek.
Kagome's face immediately became a study in wide-eyed anime surprise. Future generations would look at pictures of her in the classes where they taught such things, and they would all be in awe of her tremendous, dewy gaze, her flushed cheeks, and tiny, trembling mouth. Other cartoon characters would actually dislocate joints attempting to mimic her perfect expression.
"I'm sorry, Kagome," he said, practice seemingly making it easier. "I should not have decided that without you. This time, I leave it entirely in your hands."
Kagome opened her mouth to protest that that was not fair either. He should have a say, and damn it, she did not want to decide something like that on her own. Her unformed argument died when she was swept into a kiss.
It was an unbelievable kiss. Not that the girl had much basis for comparison, but she knew intuitively that she was being spoiled for anyone who should happen to have the ill luck to follow. It was tender, without being too soft. He took advantage of her open mouth and let his tongue explore, but never once did she feel invaded by it. What was more, she felt fangs gently graze her lips, and a soft, throaty rumble that was half- growl, half purr, and made her melt into his arms. Humans would not be able to compete. But most of all, she loved him, selfish idiot of a half demon that he might be.
When he released her, she could only murmur against his chest, "Hmmm. You're good at that."
"Well," he said with a chuckle. "Practice makes perfect.
"Inuyasha," she said again, looking up into his warm golden eyes and victorious smile.
"Hm?"
"Sit."
The End.
Okay, I realize the end is a little corny, but it had to be said. I also realize that Sesshomaru would never say 'Icky,' but I think it's funny. Hope you enjoyed. If so. . . (Saro thinks about it for a second, then does a little happy dance.) If not. . . (Saro thinks again, then shrugs and does another little happy dance.)
Tell me if there's anyone you think I should add to Inuyasha's list. I only see episodes as they air on Cartoon Network, and I missed some of the first ones.