Title: The Laws of Quarterbacking
Disclaimer: I do NOT "own" South Park or any of its characters. The lucky bastards Trey Parker and Matt Stone do, however. I only own this plot idea and any of the OCs that will appear in this story.
Rating: Uhhh…T bordering on M. It's SOUTH PARK, of course! There'll be language, suggestive dialogue, sexual situations, you name it. It wouldn't be South Park without those things!
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TWO DAYS LATER
Stan was sitting in his limo on the way to Bill's funeral. There would be a viewing at the church, followed by a private burial with only family and close associates. It turned out that out of the five bullets that hit Bill, one had fatally punctured his heart. The doctor could barely hold it in as he told Stan that Bill had died just as he arrived at the hospital. Stan made calls all around the country, to Bill's family, close friends, and football associates that he had died. The worst part for Stan was telling them that Bill's murderer was his ex-wife that he had known since the first grade who was still on the run. Stan also knew this meant there was a possibility he might have to come out of the closet a lot sooner than he thought. The sports media would be all over this like white on rice.
At Church
It was a totally packed house. Family, friends, as well as football coaches from all over the country showed up. Stan could barely contain himself as he delivered the eulogy.
The pastor delivered a sermon that hit close to home for everyone.
Back Home
Once the burial was over, Stan went to the airport and booked a flight home. The first thing he did when he got home was take a hot shower, crawl into bed, and cry himself to sleep. Now that the reality of Bill's death had hit him, he could grieve in peace.
Stan woke up the next morning and made himself a protein shake, which he was barely able to drink. He thought about calling Kyle, but remembered how Kyle hadn't called him since the hospital visit two days ago. Perhaps Kyle was occupied with a case, or with…Ryan. Wait. Stan wondered just how he could sound so jealous. He had lost the love of his life two days ago and now he's jealous that his ex-boyfriend had moved on and found someone? It couldn't be.
Kyle's House
Kyle and Ryan were "bro cuddling" on Kyle's couch in just their underwear watching some movies. Ike was with some friends in Aspen, and Eduardo had gone to Mexico for two weeks to visit his family. He was finally in the process of getting his wife and son up here so he could sponsor them.
"K-Kyle?" Ryan asked with uneasiness in his voice.
"Yeah, Ry?"
"I don't want to do this anymore."
"You don't want to cuddle anymore? That's fine…" Kyle says, getting up.
"No, not that. I don't want to be your fake boyfriend anymore, bro."
"Why not?"
"Because, Kyle, it's wrong! You can't keep lying to Stan like this! I mean, Cartman is right. You and Stan have the same mutual friends, and it's sick that they have to choose between you two every time they go out. Plus, you don't know what this is doing to me."
"What do you mean doing to you?"
"What it's doing to my heart, Kyle! Every time we're cuddling together, or you're giving me fake kisses in public, you're giving me this false hope that someday, somehow, you may love me the same way I love you. I already told you that I'd accept our being just friends, but all of this pseudo-romantic behavior isn't helping. I still love you, Kyle, but if you don't love me back, you need to stop with this behavior and this charade and give me the time I need to get over my feelings for you." Ryan said, finally happy he got this rant out of the way.
"R-Ryan…I had no idea. You're right. I'm so sorry, dude. I guess I was thinking more about myself and how I wanted to get back at Stan, than thinking about you. Ryan, I care about you deeply. You're my best friend. You were there for me at a time when Stan wasn't. You filled the friendship void that was so empty. I'm so grateful for the bond that we have. While I don't have feelings for you, I do love you as if you were a brother, Ryan. Please forgive me for using you the way I did," Kyle said, with true remorse in his voice.
Ryan pulled Kyle in for a hug, and Kyle hugged him back. "Of course I forgive you, bro. I do understand your situation with Stan. But please…allow me my time to get over this?"
"Of course. Tell you what. The next time we see my friends, I'll tell them we broke up. Deal?"
Ryan nodded and smiled. "Deal."
"Can we still bro cuddle?"
"Um, haven't we always bro cuddled?" Ryan chuckled.
"Good point!"
As Kyle and Ryan have their arms around each other, Kyle asks, "Ryan?"
"Yeah bro?"
"I…"
"You…?" Ryan asks, having a feeling he knows what Kyle is going to say next.
"I still love Stan."
"Fuckin' finally!" Ryan exclaims in happiness. "So glad you admitted it to yourself and out loud. What are you going to do about it?"
"Well, I'm going to give Stan time to grieve. Once he's himself again, I'm going to start rebuilding my friendship and trust with him. Once I do that…I'll tell him the truth."
Ryan nodded. "I'm happy for you, Kyle. I hope you two are able to work this out."
"Thanks, Ry."
ONE WEEK LATER
Although Stan was still not fully over his grief, he was able to overcome the worst aspects. He had just gotten dressed after finishing a nice, hot shower. He then heard a knock at the door and went to answer it.
"Kyle?"
"Hey, Stan."
"How are you?"
"I'm doing well I guess. I'm so sorry about…"
"It's fine, Kyle. Thanks for coming to offer your condolences. Want to come in?"
Kyle nods as Stan lets him in.
"You want anything to eat or drink?"
"No thanks. I'm just here to chat, and see how you're doing."
The two men sit down across from each other. They began chatting about nothings, and finally moved to the serious.
"Stan, I just want to say that I'm…"
"No, Kyle, if anything, I should be sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for how I treated you in high school, choosing Wendy over you. You suffered so much, during high school and afterward. I was so selfish. I'm sorry for how I acted when we were able to reconnect. I flaunted Bill in front of your face, disregarding your feelings. I'm obviously just a crappy boyfriend, and an even crappier best friend, to have, aren't I?" Stan asks, with tears in his eyes. Kyle's eyes are somewhat watery as well.
"Stan, I haven't exactly been innocent. I kept shoving your feelings back in your face when you were trying to get back together with me. I then wasn't so great to you when you started dating Bill. And, well, I've been lying about Ryan…"
"What do you mean lying?"
"Ryan and I were never really together."
"W-what?"
"Well, soon after we made love in the motel, I realized that I still had feelings for you that I was trying to suppress. Feelings that I thought evaporated after we broke up back in high school. I wanted to deny those feelings, given you were serious with Bill. After you left the hospital that night, and I went to see Ryan, he confessed to me that he's in love with me, and has been for quite some time. I didn't return those feelings, of course, but I didn't want to hurt him, given that he was in a hospital bed. Once he recovered, I broke the news to him. However, he agreed to cover up for me. That's when I told you that he and I were in a relationship. He agreed to pose as my boyfriend whenever I was around you, or Cartman, or Kenny, or Butters, or any of our friends, but we would just be buddies in private. Look, Stan, I know it was wrong of me to use him like that, and there's no excuse. I just hope you can forgive me for all of this, as I forgive you for what you did."
"Y-you forgive me?"
"Of course, Stan. You're my super best friend."
Stan smiled. Progress was finally being made.
"You're my super best friend too, Kyle. I don't see why I need to forgive you, but I'll forgive you anyway if it'll make you feel better."
The two walked up to each other and wrapped their arms around the other in the tightest, warmest hug. They clung to each other for about a half hour before finally breaking apart.
"Stan?"
"Yeah Ky?"
"Let's never let anything tear us apart again."
"Never, Kyle, never."
TIME PASSES BY
The Denver Broncos' season was well underway. They had a flawless 10-0 record and were destined to make it to at least the playoffs. Many in the sports media already were speculating this is the season that Stan would earn his third ring.
Stan and Kyle had rekindled their friendship and acted as if nothing had ever occurred between them. They did reveal that they still had mutual romantic feelings for each other but agreed that repairing their bond would come first.
Stan's PR team was also able to quash any gay rumors regarding Stan and Bill. Thus, San's secret was still safe.
Wendy was arrested about a week after the murder. She is currently charged with first-degree murder and is expected to serve at least 60 years behind bars.
Stan had decided that tonight would finally be the night he asks Kyle out. He had called Kyle over to the condo for dinner. He put on skimpy underwear, a tight black t-shirt with a button-down dress shirt over it, dress khakis, black socks, and his trusty Doc Martens. He put on his trusty chain and sprayed some cologne on him. Hey, good preparation in case he got lucky tonight. The familiar buzzing sound echoed throughout the house. Stan answered the door to see Kyle in a button-down shirt, black slacks, Converses, and the smell of cologne also emanated from the ginger Jew.
"Hey, there, Ky, lookin' good," Stan grinned.
"I can say the same about you, dude," Kyle chuckled. "So, what are we doing for dinner?"
"I cooked. I made your favorite…broasted chicken, mashed potatoes, and dinner rolls."
"Thanks, Stan," Kyle grinned as he was let in. "You didn't have to do this."
"Actually, I did. Kyle…"
Kyle was a bit nervous but let Stan continue.
"You know how we agreed to let our friendship be repaired before trying anything more serious?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, I think our friendship is repaired enough. Kyle, I can't let these feelings go on any longer. I love you, Kyle Broflovski, and I was a damned fool for ever letting you go. I know I can't erase the past, but I hope at the very least I can create a better future. If you let me back into your romantic life, I swear I will be the best lover you've ever had. I'll love you, cherish you, and hold you until the end of time. I will never hurt you again. Please take me back," Stan says, his voice profound.
"I don't know, Stan…" Kyle is hesitant, even though he wants to say yes.
"Kyle…please?" Stan begs as he gets up and strokes Kyle's cheek.
Kyle sighs. "Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes, Stan, I love you too. I love you so much, and I've missed you so much all these years. I trust you when you say this, so I'll give you another chance," Kyle grins.
"Oh, Kyle!" Stan says with joy as they hug each other and kiss with passion.
When they break apart, Kyle says "Damn, Stan, you're just as amazing of a kisser as you were back in high school, if not better, you stud."
"I learned from the best. Now come on, let's eat." Stan says as they walk to the table.
"By the way, Kyle…"
"Yes?"
"Can we consider tonight to be a…uh…a date?"
"You bet."
Stan and Kyle sat down to eat, and yes, they did get lucky that night.
THE END
Author's Note: Yes, I decided this story should get an ending. I know in the previous chapter I promised a few more chapters. I had some ideas to keep the story going for longer, but by then, I had lost the will to write this story. A couple of authors encouraged me to write an ending. I know it's not the best of endings, but I tried to do it justice with the ideas I had.
Anyway, thanks for reading, and I hope to see you in another Style fanfiction! My next Style story will be a remake of the Disney classic The Parent Trap. It should be up hopefully within a couple days.