Author's Notes: Here is another one shot from Season 1 Ep 27 By Force and Violence. It is a what if so some scenes have been tweaked a little to fit the what if :) thanks for reading and hope you enjoy! I don't own them! Just enjoy writing about them!

By Force and Violence

After a failed attempt to lift the wagon off her son, Victoria Barkley rushed to Heath's side as he grimaced from the pain of having the heavy load push him farther into the mud.

Heath urged between clenched teeth, "Knot it, try it again."

Victoria shook her head, "I can't take that chance. It might fall back on you. I'm going to get Nick and some of the others."

Heath did not have the strength to protest. "Okay," he nodded as he unsuccessfully tried to relieve some of the pressure off his body.

Victoria ached at seeing her son in so much pain. She glanced about to find something that could ease his suffering. She spotted a folded blue blanket and placed it underneath her son's head. "You think you can hold out?" She stroked his muddied hair.

He forced a smile and nodded, but his breaths were heavy and quick, "I'm all right. It's not too clean, but it's soft and light."

She kissed him and lit the lantern, "In case it gets dark before I get back," she stroked his forehead before forcing herself to leave him and trudge out of the mud toward the horse. She unbridled the mighty animal and looked back at her son with a tearing ache in her heart not wanting to leave him there all alone. She then mounted and kicked the horse into a dead run.

Heath strained to listen to the rapid pounding hooves fade in the distance until he could no longer hear them. He reassured himself that the silence meant she was closer to home and help. He slowed down his breathing and tried a mental check on his legs. They were still numb. That was not encouraging. He tried to will himself to move them, but they would not budge. He hoped and prayed they were not broken.

The breeze rustled the leaves and the bugs buzzed and chirped in the distance. It was slightly comforting to hear something break the numbing silence. But one sound in particular was not encouraging. The wagon moaned and creaked as it sunk lower into the mud, taking Heath with it. He winced from the pressure.

He looked up at the bright sky and wondered how far his mother had traveled? He did not have any way to track time. He closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled in surprise when he opened them and the sky was dark. He thought it had only been a moment. Maybe he had drifted to sleep. He can't do that. He had to stay awake. The mud was slowly enveloping around him, he had to stay awake so not to let the wagon take him under completely. He tried to move his legs but they would not budge. He felt cold but was comfortable. His mind was drowsy, the blanket was comfortable under his head. His eyelids felt heavy as he blinked once slowly.

"Gotta stay awake. Y-y-ou hear me? You'll die if you don't stay a-w-awake. So proud of my –" he could not remember was he was going to say. He inhaled and exhaled deeply as he heard the wagon creak again, "Should have checked wheels. Wheels. Wheels brought the settlers across the prairie. Rivers rolled up over the mountains. Should know – who invented the wheel," he frowned as he went into the recesses of his mind, "Egyptians? Don't know half about the world you live in Heath Barkley. I have a lot to learn and study," he thought long and hard about those who were far more intellectual than him, "Jarrod – Jarrod studies law, Nick studied. Gene, good man. Fine brothers for a man to have."

He closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his soiled cheek. His brothers – he had brothers. He had people who he could call brothers. He felt good inside at being able to call someone his brother. He frowned; but did they think that way of him? Were they glad to call him a brother?

Victoria road long and hard. The sun had set. Her legs ached from squeezing on the bare back of the mare so not to fall. She had visions of Heath sinking into the mud or him not being able to walk in the future because of broken legs. Or his back being broken and him being paralyzed. She hated herself for not having waited longer. Her son was hurt and she blamed herself. How could she have caused so much pain to one of her sons? If she could take his place, she would in a heartbeat. She lifted up a prayer that he was all right in the night. It is dangerous to be alone and vulnerable in the dark. Oh, gosh. He had no way to protect himself. He could not reach his hand gun and the rifle – she remembered seeing it thrown from the wagon. How could she have left him so unprotected?

She leaned forward and pushed the mare as fast as it could go. She had to reach Nick and Jarrod. They had to get back to Heath before something happened to him.

He felt himself drifting asleep but blinked several times when he heard the hooting of an owl, "Stay a-wwake. Stay awake," a song came to his mind, "Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord…" he felt himself so cold and he began to shiver. The light from the lantern seemed so dim in the black darkness. It made him feel like he was the only person left on the world. His eyes grew heavy.

He heard a noise again. He was dazed and rolled his head to where he heard the noise. His heartbeat rose as a wolf emerged from out of the darkness. Heath pushed against the barrel and the wagon desperately trying to get out from underneath.

"Git! Git!" He grabbed a fistful of mud and threw it at the wolf, but that only made the wild dog angrier and it growled and started to come closer, its hair standing up on its back. Heath threw another chunk of mud in its direction. "Find yourself something dead! There's nothing here for ya," his adrenaline kicked in and he was awake. He grabbed the lantern and threw a wad of lit paper at the beast. That did the trick, the wolf got startled and retreated into the forest. Heath panted in relief and shook with tremors. His hand trembled as he carefully put the lantern back on the crate. His heart thumped once when he almost missed the crate. He caught the lantern and scooted it back on the box.

He looked around desperately for a sign that someone was coming, but to his grief, he was all alone. His body dove down rapidly from the adrenaline and a tear escaped his eye as he pleaded, "Mother."

Victoria burst into the foyer and all her children stood at the urgency of her entrance.

"Mother!" Nick did not have to take more than three long strides until he was at her side.

They all saw she was covered in mud and panting.

"What happened? Are you all right?!" Jarrod took her arm and held her tiny frame upright when she wavered.

"Yes, yes I'm all right. It's Heath," she grasped Jarrod's shirt desperately.

"What's the matter?" Audra stepped closer.

"I should have known the roads would not have been dry. Heath! The wagon got stuck, he tried to push it and the wagon fell on him. He's back there, pinned under the wagon. I tried to get him out."

"Is he hurt other than being pinned?" Jarrod questioned.

Victoria shook her head, "I don't know. He said he can't feel his legs," tears escaped her eyes, "I left him there in the woods all alone. How could I have done that?!"

"You did the right thing," Jarrod took her tiny hands in his and gave them a comforting squeeze.

Nick sprang instantly into action, "I'll hitch up a wagon. Audra you prepare some bandages then ride out to Dr. Merrar and tell him what happened."

"I'm coming with you," Audra protested.

Silas, who had entered from hearing the commotion, interjected before there was an argument, "I'll ride out to the doctor's."

"Though I walk – valley – shadow of death. I will fear no evil – comfort me…they comfort me" he panted as his emotions and fears were let loose. Heath pleaded with the Lord, "Oh, God, why doesn't somebody come?! Why don't they come?"

The birds were no longer chirping and the trees stood still in the night. It was unbearable. The silence swallowed him whole and he could not breathe. He felt the mud licking his ears. The blanket had sunk deep into the wet dirt. He saw it had enveloped most of his chest. He tried to fight the closing in around him. His breathing increased with intensity. He had to get out. He had to get out from under the wagon. He clawed at the barrel and the suitcase over top of him. His fingers were screaming in pain and he let out a whimper. He stuck them in the mud to cool the pain. He tried to push himself out again with all this might and he exhausted all his energy in a failed attempt to free himself.

Heath relinquished his will to free himself. He felt his heart in his throat as he came to the realization that he was going to die alone. No one was coming for him. Why should they? They did not grow up with him like a normal brother. He just came into their lives almost a year ago. Why would they come for someone they have only known a short time? He did not feel angry, but sad. Just when he had finally started calling her mother and felt like she was a mother to him. He thought she loved him too. Maybe he was mistaken. His heart ached that they did not accept him as a family member. He wanted to be a part of a family all his life.

But now, alone in the dark with the mud swallowing him, he knew no one was coming for him. He felt his eyes grow heavy and he no longer wanted to fight to keep them open…

Jarrod halted the wagon just before the road turned to mud.

Nick dismounted his horse and raced into the mud. "Heath!" he called and found his younger brother unconscious and almost covered by the mud. He quickly checked for a pulse and was reassured when he felt one.

"Nick, untie the rug." Jarrod barked as they unhooked the rolled rug then rolled the barrel off of Heath and the heavy trunk.

Audra and Victoria rushed into the thick mud and knelt down at Heath's head and lifted it from the wet earth. Audra turned white and was horrified, "Mother," she lifted her brother's ripped up fingernails. They both saw the claw marks on the barrel. Audra took his hand and it was cold to the touch. His temperate was low and she saw him tremble every now and them. Audra gently rubbed his hand to warm him. The first thing she was going to do when they put him in the wagon was cover him in layers of blankets to keep him warm. She took her clean handkerchief and wiped the dirt off of his face. She took his other hand and rubbed it and felt some warmth return to his palm.

Nick removed the last of the objects from the wagon then looked at the women, "When we lift, grab him under the arms and pull."

Both brothers lifted and the wagon gave away, creaking and moaning as it was lifted. The two women wrapped their arms around each of Heath's arms and struggled to pull him out. He was stuck fast.

"Pull!" Nick yelled.

"We're trying, he's stuck," Audra yanked with all her might. Finally they felt him give and they leaned back as they pulled him out.

Once Heath was clear, Jarrod and Nick let the wagon fall back down. They instantly inspected their brother's legs. "They might be broken, better splint them just in case," Nick suggested.

After the legs were stabilized, they gingerly picked him up and placed him in the bed of the blanketed wagon. Victoria cradled Heath's head in her lap and Audra tucked the blankets all around him then rubbed his arms to generate heat. She took his hand again but this time she kissed it and stroked the back of his hand comfortingly. They both exchanged glances when they heard him whimper and a tear escape from under his lid. Victoria leaned down and kissed his forehead, "You're safe, Heath. You are going home."

"Don't leave me to die," Heath whispered so softly.

Both Audra and Victoria were alarmed and dumbstruck. They exchanged worried glances, wondering what had happened to him while alone. Victoria laid a hand on his chest and kissed him again.

Doctor Merrar descended the stairs to an anxious family waiting at the bottom.

"How is he, Doc?" Nick asked.

"Oh, a small fracture in his right foot and a sprained ankle on the other. He will be fine in a few days. But he won't be able to resume his normal duties until that fracture has healed. I left his medicine up in his room. He knows what he needs to take."

"Thanks Doc," Nick shook the doctor's hand with a grateful smile.

As he was ushered to the door, Dr. Merrar stopped and turned back to the family, "Oh, it might help to have someone take turns sitting with him through the night. He has had quite an ordeal. Goodnight," he left and Jarrod shut the door after him.

"What does he mean sit and take turns with him? He is all right, isn't he?" Audra asked.

Victoria had been wondering if Heath's time out there had gotten to his head. Dr. Merrar must have picked up on his mental and emotional state, "Just that Heath needs his family around him. And I will take the first watch."

"But Mother you need your rest," Jarrod lightly protested as he followed the elder Barkley to the bottom of the staircase.

Victoria turned, "I am going to take first watch. Someone can relieve me in a while," she flashed a warning smile at them to not protest before she turned and ascended the stairs. She paused at Heath's door before knocking.

"Come in."

Victoria poked her head in and smiled as she crossed the room and sat in the chair next to him, "Dr. Merrar says you are to be spoiled for the next few days."

Heath grinned weakly, "Guess I could muddle through all the fuss," he joked lightly.

"Are you warm enough?" she touched his cheek as he nodded from under several layers of quilts, "Good. Would you like any more hot coffee?"

Heath waved the offer away, "No, I've had my fill of hot beverages. Audra made me drink a whole pot of coffee," he grinned at her and blinked a few times.

Victoria's smile turned serious, "Heath," she gingerly sat on the bed, "What happened out there?"

Heath frowned, "What do you mean?"

Her eyes glistened a little, "In the wagon you said something – you said don't leave me to die. Do you remember?"

Heath thought for a moment then shook his head.

"Now, I know being alone in the night can have an effect on a person, but I can't help but wonder if there is some part of you that still thinks you aren't apart of this family," she paused a moment as she carefully took his bandaged hand. "Heath, you came into this family a short time ago but I want to reassure you that that does not mean I love you any less than Jarrod or Nick or Eugene. In a way, you are uniquely special because you were a gift. A gift to me. A special son. I cannot imagine my life without you, you are my son Heath. You once said you would do anything for me. But I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. And I will always come for you, whenever you need me. I will always be there."

Heath looked down at the quilt, a little red in the face, and fidgeted with a loose thread, "I love you," he spoke plainly and softly.

Victoria squeezed his palm, "I love you too," she scooted the chair close to the bed and nestled into the cushioned seat and they talked low about the lodge and how they wanted to make the trip again in a couple of weeks. It would be a great place for him to recuperate and they talked about what they wanted to do when they got there.

She sat back in the chair when he had fallen asleep. Still holding his hand she too drifted into a pleasant sleep, not leaving him alone for the rest of the night.