Me Without You, a ncis fanfic

There's No Me Without You

Disclaimer:
As usual, I own absolutely nothing!

Rating:
T (Just to be safe)

Genre:
Romance/Angst

Pairing:
Tibbs (Tony/Gibbs)

Lyrics Used:
Ashley Tisdale - "Me Without You"

You hear what I say | When I don't say a word | You are my rising sun | You're the place I run | You know how it hurts

Leroy Jethro Gibbs was not one to panic in the face of bad news. He got this type of call all the time. Why was this one causing his heart to race, his breath to catch in his throat – he was in a full on panic. Though, he supposed he knew why this call was so different. Because it wasn't just some random victim. This was an NCIS agent … And, not just any agent. This was Tony. His Tony! Anthony DiNozzo Jr was dead in a car crash. It just couldn't be true – it just couldn't! He had to find out for sure. He'd tried calling Tony but the agent wasn't answering his phone. Hell of a time for him to be working with Vance! Gibbs thought to himself. Because Tony was working with Vance. He wasn't dead in a totaled out vehicle! So, he opted for the next best option. Grabbing his keys, his badge, and his gun, he took off in a mad dash for the office.

Rushing into the bullpen – phone in hand – Gibbs felt an immense pressure lift from his shoulders when he saw the familiar face of the senior field agent that had unknowingly stolen his heart. "DiNozzo!" He called out – albeit a bit more eagerly than he had originally intended. "Oh, hey … Hey … You're here, that's … That's good." He stammered trying to calm himself down as he attempted to wrap his mind around all that had transpired, that morning.

Tony looked up into his boss's eyes and watched a storm of emotions flooding through the piercing blue orbs. Relief, anguish, confusion, and, dare he say it … Hope? He couldn't understand what was causing his boss to feel this way. But, before he could completely process the look, Bishp spoke, breaking his concentration.

"Gibbs, what's the matter?" The blonde agent asked, worried about her boss. To be perfectly honest, they were all concerned. None of them had ever seen this sort of reaction from the steely ex-marine.

"I just got a call." Gibbs replied, trying to shake all emotion from his mind and get back to the matter at hand. "A deputy in Virginia. Just found an NCIS special agent dead in a car crash."

The rest of the team couldn't believe what they were hearing. One of their own was dead? In a car crash? Tony was the first to speak, this time. "My God …" He breathed, still trying to read the look on Gibbs' face. "That's terrible … Who died?"

With a haunted look that no one on the team would soon forget, Gibbs looked Tony straight in the eye as he pointed toward him with the phone still clutched in his hand. "You did."

Tony didn't know what to do with this information. He just stood there, shellshocked. He was also curious about the look in Gibbs's eyes. It was an indecipherable storm of emotion. However, they had bigger fish to fry, at the moment. Like figuring out why some deputy in Virginia thought he was dead in a car crash. He'd have to put a pin in figuring Gibbs out, for the time being.

Later in the evening, Gibbs found himself where he usually found himself after closing a case … alone in his basement. But, tonight wasn't just any night. Even as he worked on the boat before him, his mind was anywhere but on the task at hand. His mind was with the senior field agent he'd believed dead when he got the call from that deputy in Virginia. He was relieved that Tony was, in fact, alive. But, it had stirred something inside of him. Something he had grappled with ever since hiring Anthony DiNozzo Jr. The fact that he was in love with the man. At first, he'd tried to play it off as simple physical attraction. But, as he'd gotten to know the man, it had become harder and harder to deny. However, he knew that Tony could never possibly reciprocate his feelings for him. Anthony DiNozzo Jr. was a notorious playboy.

Later that night found Tony alone in his apartment, deep in thought. He was still hung up on trying to analyze Gibbs's reaction when he'd found out that Tony was, in fact, alive. The ex-marine was uncharacteristically relieved. Under ordinary circumstances, Gibbs would have been completely unreadable. However, this morning, Gibbs was virtually wearing his heart on his sleeve. Why would Gibbs be acting like that? Tony wondered. Sure, he and Tony had known each other a long time and had become good friends. They worked closely together, but, that didn't explain his reaction. Tony would know better than anyone. Even though he'd never admit it to anyone – even under the worst of torture – but, he had fallen in love with the ex-marine. In the beginning, he'd tried to pass it off as simply physical attraction. But, the more he'd gotten to know Gibbs, the deeper the attraction became. But, he'd never tell the man as much. A late wife and daughter and three ex-wives all pointed to the fact that the former marine was straight as an arrow. There was no way he could possibly reciprocate Tony's feelings for him … right?

Frustrated with his lack of concentration, Leroy Jethro Gibbs knew exactly what he had to do. Throwing his tools down, Gibbs charged up the stairs on a mission. Passing through the living room, he grabbed his keys on his way out the door. Jumping in his truck, Gibbs fired up the engine and took off in the direction of Tony's apartment. There were a few things that he needed to say to his senior field agent. Regardless of the outcome, they needed to be said. Before he lost his chance.

Tony's inner monologue was interrupted by knocking at his door. Shaking his head clear, Tony briefly wondered Who could that be at this hour? as he rose to answer the door. Opening the door, Tony didn't know what to think of seeing his boss standing before him. "Gibbs?" He questioned curiously, his voice scarcely above a whisper. "What-What are you doing here?"

"May I?" Gibbs asked, gesturing inside the apartment. Stepping aside, Tony let Gibbs into his home, still confused as to why Gibbs was visiting him so late. He was also curious about the strange look on the man's face.

"What's goin' on, Gibbs?" Tony asked, concern etched in his voice. "You been actin' weird ever since this morning." He added, watching Gibbs pacing back and forth before him, scrubbing his hand over his face.

Not really sure exactly where to begin, Gibbs figured it would be best to start at the beginning. "That call that came in this morning … When I heard that deputy found you dead in that crash … Got me thinking …"

"Thinkin' about what, exactly?" Tony questioned, curiously.

Sighing, Gibbs replied "'Bout all the things I shoulda said – should say …" He began, finally stopping to look Tony straight in the eyes. "That day, back in Baltimore … You stirred something in me." He began, carefully. "At first, I tried to write it off as just …" Gibbs paused as he realized this was the point of no return. Once he finished this sentence, there would be no turning back. But, he couldn't stay silent, any longer. For better or worse, he had to know where he stood with the younger agent. "I tried to write it off as just physical attraction …"

Tony couldn't believe what he was hearing. Could Gibbs really be saying what he thought he was saying. This can't be happening. … Can it? He wondered, silently, watching Gibbs, intently, hanging on every word the older man was saying.

"But, the more I got to know you, the harder it became to deny." Gibbs added, bracing himself for Tony's certain rejection. "Tony, I … I'm in love with you." He finished, finally, sighing in relief as the burden of his thirteen-year-old secret was lifted off of his shoulders. The ball was in Tony's court, now. His fate lay in the younger man's hands.

Tony couldn't believe it. It was his craziest dreams come true. He couldn't believe Gibbs actually reciprocated his feelings for him. The younger man was stunned. For once, in his life, he was absolutely and utterly speechless. He truly had no words for what he felt about the older man's confession. His mind was in overdrive searching for the right words when he was suddenly jarred out of his thoughts by Gibbs's voice.

"Look, I didn't come here expecting some grand romantic moment where you tell me that you feel the same way." Gibbs rambled on, pausing as he realized that Tony had remained completely silent the entire time he'd been speaking. Under ordinary circumstances, Gibbs wouldn't have been so shaken by silence, but, he was going crazy not knowing where the younger man stood. "Tony?" He asked, carefully, trying to get the younger man's attention.

Finally snapping back to reality, Tony blurted out "What?!" Then, shaking his head clear, he added "Oh! Right … Yeah." Running his hand over the back of his neck, nervously, Tony began pacing, himself, as he searched for the words to express how he felt toward his boss and dear friend. "Look … Gibbs-"

"I know, I know!" Gibbs cut in, before Tony could complete his thought. "Rule number twelve." He conceded. "Besides, even rule number twelve aside, I know that there's no way that you could ever possibly feel the same way-"

Tired of Gibbs's ranting, Tony finally took mercy on the older man. Gripping his upper arms, lightly, Tony stared Gibbs straight in the eye. "Gibbs!" Tony interjected, finally gaining the older man's full attention. But, he was still at a loss for words as he suddenly blurted out "I love you, too!"

Both men were stunned silent for a moment by the weight of Tony's sudden confession. Finally, Gibbs was the first to speak. "What?" He questioned, breathlessly. He didn't dare believe it to be true. It couldn't be … Could it?

As the reality of everything hit him, Tony relaxed – smiling – as he spoke again. "I said … I love you, too." Now, it was Gibbs's turn to be rendered speechless as he stared into Tony's eyes, searching for any sign of deceit or insincerity and finding none. Unable to think of the right words to convey his feelings in that moment, Gibbs decided to let his actions speak for themselves. Closing the distance between them, he pressed his lips to Tony's in a searing kiss. After a moment, Tony's mouth opened to allow Gibbs entrance. In the following moments, Gibbs lost himself in the experience of tasting and exploring and memorizing every nuance of Tony. They both poured their hearts and souls and years of bottled up passion into the kiss – only parting when the need for oxygen became too great to ignore.

The kiss left Tony breathless as he lead Gibbs over to the couch where they sat to catch their breaths. Finally, Tony had to voice the question weighing on his mind. "Okay … Not that I'm complaining – cause that was seriously the best kiss I've ever had … But … Why now?" He asked carefully and curiously. Taking Gibbs's confused countenance as a cue to elaborate, he added "After all these years … Why tell me how you feel now?"

Sighing, Gibbs leaned back in the couch as he answered the younger man's question. "When I got that call … When I thought you were dead …" He began, already choking up just thinking about it. "It got me thinking … About all the things I wished I'd said." He added. "I never expected you to reciprocate my feelings – hell, that's why I kept quiet as long as I did." The older man explained. "But, when I thought I was never gonna get to see you … talk to you again … I began regretting my decision to stay silent." He confessed. "I regretted never really knowing where I stood with you. All of the 'what if's began running through my head." Gibbs recounted, recalling all of his racing thoughts from that moment. "And, when I got to the office and saw you there … Saw that you were alive – you were okay … Well, I knew I couldn't stay silent anymore." Looking straight into Tony's eyes, he added. "I had to tell you the truth."

Tony just smiled as he moved in closer to his older lover. "Well … I'm glad we had this little talk." He purred, closing the distance between them once more. The kiss was more tender than the previous, but, filled with just as much passion. It was also filled with hope and promise for the future. Their future would not always be as easy as that night, but, they would gladly face any and every challenge thrown their way as long as they had each other by their side.

Author's Note:

I know this is crap, but, I just wanted to do something with the scene from 13x20 when Gibbs came running into the bullpen, relieved to see Tony alive. As a long-time Tibbs shipper, it warmed my heart to see that kind of scene. :D