Chapter Twenty: Clarity

"Sora!"

"Kairi!"

Riku's grip was suddenly empty. Sora was rushing past Lea's shoulders, practically flying between each step. He glanced at the empty space in his hand where Sora's had been a moment ago. So that's what it was.

"You okay there, buddy?" Lea asked, glancing back at him.

He just shrugged, clenched his fists, then tucked them back into the pockets of the black Nobody coat. "Kairi is his most important person."

Lea gave him a long look. "And Sora is 'the one person that matters', right?"

His stomach twisted up. He'd heard that. Of course had had. "Shut up, Axel."

"It's not so bad," Lea said, nodding his head towards Kairi and Sora. They were holding one another tightly, as if they would never let go. "At least yours is still alive."

Riku's breath left. Like Lea had punched him in the gut. "Damn it," he said. "Lea, I'm sorry. I didn't think―"

The redhead just shook his head. Once, firmly. Right. They weren't going to talk about it. That was fine. "Sora is still here."

"He is." Sora was still here. Or more technically, over there. With his most important person. Riku tugged his coat closer over his shoulders. "I want to go home," he said. "Shower, put new clothes on, sleep in an actual bed for once." Hopefully with Sora beside him. But he wasn't holding his breath.

"Well. You know the way."

The door was locked, Lea told him his father had done it. He could've gone to see him, to get him to open it. Instead, he summoned his keyblade with an annoyed grunt and forced it open. The redhead side-eyed him warily, but didn't say anything.

He got his shower, his fresh clothes, and even tasty food Lea had brought around while he was scrubbing sand out of every crevice of his skin. But he didn't get his sleep.

~V~

After hours of trying, he stood and left the bedroom. Lea looked up from the couch, over the top of a book. "Can't sleep?"

"No."

"Something the matter?"

Riku sighed, shaking his hair into his eyes. "…Sora snores."

"Ah." Lea shoved a makeshift bookmark to hold his place, and closed the book, sitting up. "Want to hang?"

"I'm just going to go for a walk," Riku shrugged. "You can use the guest room. Don't wait up."

He didn't wait for an answer. He walked out of the house, breathing in the late night air. The streetlights were up and running again. The streets were softly aglow with a warm, orange candlelight that danced inside the glass. Some people smiled and waved to him. It was nice to know he had been missed.

His father's house was already dark. He penned a note in the workshop, announcing his return, his visit, and promising to stop by soon. Then he closed everything back up and headed back out again.

His feet dragged him to Sora's house. The bedroom windows were all out, but even as he stopped by the garden path, the kitchen light flicked on. Sora's mouther appeared, silhouetted, in the window by the sink. She paused, and then a few moments later, she was opening the front door. "Riku? Are you going to stand out there all night?"

He stepped closer, halfway up the garden path. "I didn't think you'd still be up. I didn't want to..."

"Come on inside. I'll make you a cacao drink." She was warm and familiar. He followed her through the house―he felt like he hadn't been there in years. And maybe he hadn't. He perched on one of the old chairs at the dining table, hands tucked into his sides. "Here we are. Strong, with a hint of cinnamon―just how you like it."

He tucked his hands around it. "Thanks, Mother."

There was a pause, and when he looked up at her she was wearing a gentle smile. "You haven't called me that since you were a kid."

He didn't answer, picking up his drink to sip. Once he'd set it back down, he asked: "did Sora go to Kairi's tonight?"

"No, he's upstairs," she answered. "He wanted to go home, but he passed out before dinner, even."

"He must've been exhausted then. Sora never misses a meal." He picked up his mug again, holding it in both hands. "Kairi will have to cope without him for one more night."

"Kairi?" She asked, taking a seat across from him.

"Mm. His girlfriend," he replied. He tried to keep the bitterness out of his voice, but he didn't think it succeeded.

Sora's mother looked at him for a long time. "Riku… you know that your mother and I were best friends growing up, don't you?"

He nodded. "Dad said so. The four of you used to spend all of your time together when you were young."

She nodded. "You remind me a lot of her, you know," she said softly.

"He says I look like her," he said quietly.

"You do," she answered. "But that's not what I meant."

He wrinkled his forehead up in confusion. "How do you mean?"

"She was quiet, and serious. And she clung to us, didn't get particularly close to many other people."

"Sounds familiar." He rubbed his fingers against the table, letting his fringe hide his eyes again. "I've been thinking about her a lot lately."

"She was very important to me." She continued. "Sometimes, she had these moments. Everything would be fine, but she'd catch…your grandpa always called them 'the blues'. For a long time, she thought it was things that had set her off. The things that made her happy, sometimes. She found excuses to push those things away, push me away."

He swallowed, hands trembling on the table. He moved them down onto his lap. "Oh?"

"It was your father that helped her see that she could still enjoy the things, the people she loved, even when she was feeling blue. He didn't try to make her feel better, he helped her figure out that she could help herself. I think that's what made her really fall in love with him. She said he was like her midnight sun."

He gave a startled sort of laugh, more of a huffing exhale than a proper laugh. "Why are you telling me this, Mother?"

She gave him a smile, and laid her hand on the table for him to take. He did so, nervously. "I used to think Sora was your midnight sun, Riku. But I don't think it's really worked for you recently, has it?"

He tried to pull his hand away, but she squeezed it. He sighed, let her keep it. "Sora has Kairi. She's his most important person. His girlfriend." He squeezed his eyes shut, not that she could see them through his hair. "I love him. But he's not gay."

"Riku, I don't think it's as simple as that."

He made a frustrated noise, deep in his throat. "I wish everybody would stop saying that and just tell me what they mean!"

She chuckled softly, patted his hand a couple times and let it go. "Riku, dear. Do you really think something like gender matters to a boy like Sora?" She stood and smiled down at him. "I think if you really read into your feelings, you'll see what 'everybody' means." Pulling her dressing gown closer around herself. "I should go to bed. You know where to find Sora's room. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Actually… there is one thing."

Chapter Twenty-One: House of Three

"You cut your hair short again."

He stirred awake. He was curled up next to Sora, he knew that from the smell. There were gentle fingers carding through his hair—as little of it as there was now. Another hand was around his back, fingers tracing a familiar pattern on his skin.

"Technically," Riku replied, his voice rough with sleep, "your mother cut it."

"You were here last night?" Sora asked. "I guess that explains waking up with you in my bed."

"You had a nightmare," Riku said, eyes still closed. "Weeks in the realm of darkness and you didn't have so much as one. Slept like baby, albeit one that snores very loudly, all that time. The minute you're home safe, you're dreaming about heartless again."

"I didn't need to be afraid there," Sora said quietly. "I had you."

He opened his eyes, carefully studying the brunet's expression. "You'll always have me."

"So, why the haircut?" Sora asked, tugging a lock of his now significantly shorter fringe. No longer long enough to hide behind, even if he tried.

He chuckled. "Weeks spent on a deserted, dark beach without a hair-comb," he replied. Then he paused, and looked at Sora quietly. "No. Not really. I cut it for the same reason I cut it last time."

Sora's forehead wrinkled up in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"It's heavy," he replied. "And it makes it too easy to hide, to shroud myself in darkness."

"So?"

"Cut it off, start afresh. Let myself grow again. Towards the light."

Sora's face turned up and a soft, little smile. "I like that." The smile changed, widened, shifting into an open grin. "And now I can see your eyes."

A familiar nervous feeling twisted in his stomach. "Sora…"

"Riku?"

He reached down, took one of Sora's hands in his and held it tightly. "I love you."

A goofy grin crossed Sora's face. It looked at home there. "I love you too!" he said brightly.

"No, Sora," he said firmly. "This is different. I know I'm your best friend. But… this is different."

He'd been practicing exactly what to say and how to let Sora know the truth in his head for months. He'd prepared for this, even the look of confusion that crossed Sora's face at that.

"I'm not saying that I love you as a friend, Sora. I mean, I do! But I also mean it more than that."

"Riku," Sora said carefully. "I love you too."

"Sora, stop," Riku said impatiently. "What I'm trying to tell you, is that I love you. In the same way that you love Kairi."

Sora was frowning at him. "Okay, that's fine, Riku but—"

"I'm not going to make it strange," he said. "It's been years, and I've treated you the same. Nothing is going to change between us. I promise."

"Years."

"As long as I can remember, Sora," he replied. "Before I even knew what this kind of love was."

Sora's hand squeezed his, in an attempt to be reassuring. "You don't have to make any promises, Riku. They don't matter. I love you."

"Sora, stop!" he said angrily. "I don't need to hear right now that I'm your best friend."

Sora reached up and flicked him in the ear. "No. You listen to me, Riku."

"Ow," he said, scowling back at him and rubbing his ear. "Fine. I'm listening."

Sky-blue eyes bore into his intently. "You were my first friend, Riku. You have always been. Nothing you can say will change that." He shifted their hands, intertwining their fingers. "But I'm also saying that I love you."

Riku cringed and turned away. "Sora…"

"You said you would listen," the brunet said impatiently.

"Sora, you and I both know that Kairi is your most important person."

"That doesn't mean you don't matter!" Sora shouted suddenly.

He froze. Sora rarely lost his temper so quickly, not unless things were serious. He shifted his gaze back to meet Sora's, wishing he had hair to hide behind again. "Sora…?"

"I love you, the same way I love Kairi. And in your own way. Kairi may be my most important person, but you come next."

He swallowed. "I don't… I don't…" His hand tightened around Sora's then released.

"You don't?"

"Understand. I don't understand."

Sora sighed, shifting closer to him. His other hand moved, around his back, tracing the pattern of his tattoo in familiar movements. "You know all about my fears, my darkest and worst dreams."

"I do," Riku said. Not sure where Sora was going with this. Was he just changing the subject?

"But you don't know my best."

He sighed. "I guess I don't. You've only ever needed me to chase away your darkness."

Sora scoffed at that. "I'll come back to you being wrong about that later. But I'm trying to make a point, Riku."

"Okay, sorry. I'm listening."

"My best dreams. You don't know what they are." He traced the symbol, one loop, two. "They're us. Kairi, and me… and you, too."

Riku's forehead wrinkled up in confusion. "All… all three?"

Sora's hand moved, tugging him closer. "I didn't know that you didn't know how I felt," he said softly. "I never talked about it, because you hate sappy stuff." He swallowed, resting their foreheads together. "This is what you meant. By me causing you to go to the darkness, isn't it?"

"It… it had a lot to do with it," he replied reluctantly. "It had more to do with me."

Sora tilted his head and made a curious noise. "What do you mean by that?"

He reached up, tucking a lock of newly-shortened hair behind his ear. "I think my Mom had the same darkness as me. I was talking to your mother last night," he said softly. "It doesn't come from other people. It comes from me. Inside me."

"But what can I do to help?" Sora whined.

He chuckled at that. "You do what you're good at, Sora. You stay positive. You be the best friend I never deserved. You—"

"Love you."

"Huh."

"I love you."

"Still lost."

Sora squeezed their hands. "I love you. No matter what."

~V~

Things settled into what became easily normal. Riku went back to work with his father, Sora went back to work at the convenience store his family owned. He stopped trying to push the brunet at Kairi.

Sora spent half his nights with Kairi, and half his night at home. She woke Sora if he had nightmares while he was with her, Riku took them away if he was home.

He still struggled with his darkness. Being home, having Sora beside him didn't make it go away. But when he was down, Sora was there, bright and unfaltering, ready to welcome him back into the light in his own town.

During their first hurricane season after normal, Kairi ended up staying with them. Four days in, the words popped out of his mouth: "maybe you should move in." The two of them looked up from their game of cards. He set down the bowl of pasta and took a seat beside Sora.

"Move in?" Kairi repeated, looking across at him. "Here?"

He nodded. "It's not a fancy place like the mayor's house—and you'll have to put up with my cooking. But you could move in. Live with us. The three of us. Together."

Sora beamed at him. He leaned forward and kissed his cheek.

"Hm," she said quietly. "I'll think about it."

At first, she only stayed over the nights she shared with Sora. The first night, with Sora and Kairi sleeping in Sora's old bed in the spare room, he woke up with the familiar cry of the nightmares. He was up, on his feet, and into the next room before he could probably remember that Kairi was here.

She looked up at him, one hand on Sora's shoulder to wake him. "Did we wake you?" She whispered.

"Yeah," he said, coming down to crouch beside the bed. "But it's okay. He always does."

She tilted her head at him. "Even when he's with me?"

He nodded. "I could… take care of him now. You wouldn't have to wake him up."

She smiled. "If you'd like."

He leaned over, bringing their lips together. It was nothing like the kisses they shared awake—now that he knew with certainty what they were like. He gave Sora the best dream, the three of them together on the play island. When he pulled back, Kairi was still watching him.

"He should sleep through the night now."

She ran her fingers through Sora's hair. "Do you think it's weird that we don't love each other? Like we love Sora?" She asked.

He shrugged, sitting back more comfortably on the floor. "Not really," he replied. "Sora loves us, we love Sora. We always said, whatever makes him happy, right?"

She nodded. "This makes him happy."

"I'm happy," he said. "He's happy. If you're happy too, then it works." He tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. "Are you happy, Kairi?"

"I'd be happier if Sora picked up his dirty clothes from the floor," she teased, smiling. He laughed. Sora snored on between them. "Yes, Riku. I'm happy."

He smiled. "Then, we're happy." He got to his feet. "Sleep well. I'll see you both in the morning."

She lay back down, pulling an eye-mask over her eyes. "I'll cook breakfast. Goodnight Riku."

He headed back to his bedroom, lay down and closed his eyes. He could hear Sora snoring through the wall. A smile on his face, he drifted off to sleep.

Sora was there when he woke up, and he was smiling.

The End