A/N: Forgot to add this in the first chapter, but I don't own anything - which is too bad, because Flashpoint has some really great characters. Also, thanks so much for the support of everyone who has liked, followed, reviewed, or favorited this story! Special thanks to Penguin201, gryffen1, missblueeyes63, and to Guest for their reviews. (Please read the end of the last chapter again, because I made some tweaks - thanks, Guest, for the reminder that Spike would also have been dealing with Mac's death :) I'm glad that Toth didn't bring that up, too.)

Also! To pyrrho, the author of the wonderfully crafted story "Opposite the Sun" (highly recommend this one to Spike fans!) - thank you! Not only do I keep reading your story from time to time, but I was actually inspired a bit by your 19th chapter in the sort of hysteria that Spike experienced. I don't think I portrayed that very well, and doubt you are even reading this, but in case you do, thank you! You should be proud of your work. :) (Seriously, guys, go read that story!)

Sorry this is getting out quite a bit later than I'd hoped; it was actually pretty hard to write this because I had to be in a certain mindset while writing this, and it wasn't exactly a fun place to be. But, I had to get it out, and so here it is! Please feel free to add any suggestions for continuing; I plan to do perhaps one final chapter, but we'll see how it goes.

Continued reviews and suggestions are welcomed and highly appreciated (I get a little too giddy when I get the email alerts...)

The team sat in the conference room, the mood solemn. Jules turned to Ed.

"They've been gone for awhile now, Ed. Don't you think that we should go check on them, make sure Spike's okay?" she asked.

"He sure didn't look okay," Sam said quietly. "Did you see his face before he left?"

"Yeah, he looked like he was about to blow a fuse," Wordy said.

Ed held up his hands to quiet everyone down. "Alright, gang, here's the deal. I'll go check on Spike, see if Greg needs a little reinforcement. You guys stay here, hold down the fort."

Sam rolled his eyes and pulled back his chair. "Yeah, right, Ed. We're coming with you."

Jules stood. "I'm with Sam. Why should we just sit on our hands in here? That's not helping Spike.

"They're right, Ed," Wordy said, arms folded.

Ed shook his head. "Alright, but give me a few minutes with Spike and the boss first," he said. The four walked out of the room and down the hallway to the locker room.

As the team approached the locker room, they could hear Spike's angry voice.

"How did you not know that something was wrong?" Spike sounded hurt. Ed frowned, glancing back to see Wordy, Sam, and Jules staring back at him, looking as concerned as he felt. Ed paused when he heard Greg's voice.

"I - Spike, I'm sorry. I should have noticed that something was wrong. I should've -" Greg stammered.

"But you didn't," Spike said.

Ed frowned. He didn't like where this conversation seemed to be headed.

"You failed me, just like we failed Lou, just like I failed Mac," Spike continued, his voice breaking. "I failed them, Boss."

There was a pause before he heard Greg's voice, uncannily shaky. "Spike," Greg said. "Spike, buddy, put the gun down."

Ed heard Jules gasp softly behind him.

"We gotta go in, Ed," Wordy said softly.

Ed nodded, taking in a sharp breath. "Alright guys, here's the plan." Ed said quietly. "I'll try to talk down Spike, Jules, you're my second. Wordy, make sure Winnie knows we're not taking any calls. And Wordy, Sam," he said. Sam frowned, sensing what Ed was about to say. "I'm going to need you to back me up." Sam shook his head in frustration, jaw tense.

Jules looked up at Ed in disgust. "Ed, no. What you're asking them to do is - "

"Necessary," Ed said, cutting Jules off. "Look, we don't have a lot of time here. Sam?"

Sam sighed. "Copy that," he bit out.

Ed nodded. "Wordy?" he asked.

Wordy frowned. "I'm not pulling a gun on him, Ed," he said. "I should go tell Winnie."

Ed sighed and turned back to Sam and Jules. "Alright, nice and careful. Spike's in a real volatile state right now, we don't wanna set him off."

Spike stood there with his eyes closed, breathing heavily. Why should I put the gun down? Why shouldn't I die? I failed to protect Mac, couldn't get there fast enough to keep him from getting shot. I couldn't protect Lou - I should've been faster with that weight transfer. I shouldn't have let him move his foot. Why did he move his foot? We should've both walked out of there. Boss said that I'm a good son, but I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to live, why should I live?

A knock on the door disrupted his thoughts, and Spike lifted up his head, opening his eyes.

"Spike, it's Ed and Jules. We're gonna come in a minute and talk, okay?" Ed said, and nodded at Jules. The door slowly opened and Ed walked in with his hands up, Jules hovering behind him. Ed was disturbed to see Spike with tears running down his cheeks, still holding the gun to his temple.

Spike frowned. "Ed, Jules? What are you two doing here?"

"We just want to help you, Spike," Jules said. "We'd hate to see you hurt yourself." She took a step forward.

"That's good, Jules," Spike said, "because I'm not going to hurt myself."

Ed nodded. "I'm glad to hear that, buddy."

Spike laughed, grinning at Ed, his eyes wild. "Yeah, I'm not going to hurt myself. I'm going to kill myself." Spike closed his eyes and leaned back still laughing, lowering his arm and wiggling the gun around, making sure not to point it at anybody else.

Ed and Greg exchanged worried glances, and Jules took another step forward while Spike wasn't looking. Although she was concerned with his growing hysteria, she did note that he'd lowered the gun from his head, and was hoping to disarm him.

Spike plopped himself on the bench, an almost gleeful expression on his face. "I'm going to kill myself. Isn't that funny, Jules?"

She frowned. "No, I don't think that's funny at all, Spike. I'm really concerned about you. Why do you want to kill yourself, Spike?"

He grew serious, opening his eyes to look at her. "I have to, Jules. I have to die so that no one else will." He slouched over, looking glum, and began to stare at the gun in his hands. "Maybe you should go," Spike mused. "You shouldn't have to watch this, Jules."

"Well I'm not going anywhere, Spike, not until I know that you're okay. Do you mind if I sit next to you on the bench?" Jules asked. Spike shrugged, and Jules took that as a yes, gingerly seating herself about a foot away from Spike.

"Spike," Jules said, leaning forward. "I think your parents would be pretty upset if you didn't come home tonight. They love you, Spike, and they'd miss you. I'd miss you."

Spike scoffed. "They love me?" He shook his head. "My dad hates me. He hates that I have this job and he won't let up until I quit or he dies. Whichever comes first. Except that if I quit, I'll hate myself."

"And if you don't quit, then your relationship is strained at best? That's a really tough situation, Spike," Jules offered, attempting to connect her eyes with his.

But he didn't look at her, just stared straight ahead, at Lou's old locker. "Yeah," he said, his voice raw. "Ma hates the whole thing. Says I'm just being stubborn and selfish and that I'm putting -" Spike paused to make air quotes with his hands - "unnecessary burden on my dad, on the family. That I should just give my Pa what he needs. She says that he's just trying to protect me, but he doesn't get it. Nobody gets it."

"Well, I'm not you, Spike, but I do hear that you're being put in an unfair situation. I hear that you're being asked to choose between the family you love and the job that helps define who are. And that's a lot to ask of anyone. But it's especially a lot to ask of a son."

Spike started laughing again. "That's good, Jules, that's real good. Did you get that from the Boss, Officer Callaghan?" He looked over at her, a ridiculous grin plastered on his face.

Jules frowned, feeling herself lose control of the situation as Spike raised the gun once more. This is not going well. She took a deep breath. Take control, Callaghan. This is Spike we're talking about.

"Spike, no one told me to say any of this. It's all come from my heart. Yes, we've all had training, but I care about you Spike, and I want to see you -." Before Jules could finish, Spike sprung off the bench, towering over her angrily.

Jules could feel her heart beating wildly inside her chest as she stood up as well. At least he's lowered the gun again, Jules thought.

"What you want?" Spike screamed. "What you want? This isn't about you, Jules! This is my life." His face was red, and Jules could see the vein in his neck bulge. She nodded, hands held up slightly.

"You're right, Spike, absolutely. What do you want, Spike?" Jules asked.

Spike's expression changed, from furious to determined, and suddenly Jules knew that she'd said the wrong thing. He smiled, a wild look in his eyes again.

"This is my life, Jules," he repeated. "And I'm going to end it."

Jules felt transported back to that awful moment when she knew that Lou wasn't going to ride back to the station with them, a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"No, Spike!" she screamed.

A loud bang echoed around the locker room. Jules stood there, shocked, vaguely aware of the warm substance splattered on her face and clothes. Gasping, she slowly looked down to see Spike laying motionless on the ground.

So much blood. So much blood. Suddenly, her mind made the connection of what it was that she was covered with, and she looked down at her shoes to find that she was standing in it.