AN: Check it out! I still live! Figured I'd give you guys this lovely little one-shot while I work on some bigger things. Enjoy this bit of silliness!

"Morning!" Mallory waved to Wildwing as she entered the kitchen. She'd already finished her morning run and short workout routine. It was time for some food and then a relaxing morning before their afternoon game.

Wildwing frowned at her and shook his head no, then returned his attention to the book he was reading while eating cereal.

"Um… Not a good morning?" She opened the freezer to find her box of Toaster Strudel. On second thought, she didn't want that after all. Fruit salad sounded much better. Glancing over her shoulder, she realized he was ignoring her. "What? Did I do something to piss you off?"

He still read the book.

"Ugh…" Nosedive stumbled into the kitchen, eyes half closed. "Coffee. Give me coffee."

Wildwing didn't even look up at Nosedive. His attention remained focused on the page in front of him while he sipped his own cup of coffee.

"Okay." Mallory opened the drawer and pulled out a knife to start cutting up some apples. "What are you reading that's so interesting you're ignoring everyone else?"

Her only answer was a turned page and irritated grumble.

Nosedive poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned back on the counter, watching Mallory try to get a single word out of his brother.

"Fine," Mallory continued while chopping the apples in to smaller than needed pieces. "Don't talk to me."

"He's not talking to anyone." Nosedive yawned and took another drink of coffee before refilling his cup and pulling his own breakfast out of the refrigerator. "And don't talk to him today, okay?"

"What? Why?" She started peeling some bananas.

"It's one of his superstitions. I'll explain later. Not even supposed to talk about it today. Just, leave him alone until after the game, kay?"

"You could have said so!" Mallory called over her shoulder as she began slicing the bananas. They all had their own pre-game rituals and habits. Duke claimed he always wore his 'lucky underwear,' but she was pretty sure he said that just to mess with people. No, Duke always laid out his gear inspected every inch of it for flaws or damage before putting any of it on. Tanya never slept the night before, instead opting to work on whatever project had her attention at the moment. Grin meditated; Grin always meditated. Nosedive danced and Wildwing usually had a precise stretching and warm up routine. Despite claiming she didn't have any superstitions and doing her best to hide them, Mallory knew she always played better if she could enjoy a garlic bagel with cream cheese and lox as a pregame snack.

Despite Wildwing never being much of a talker, breakfast was much more silent than usual.

0000

A bare chested, gorgeous man astride a white stallion in an overly flowery, softly lit, fairytale setting looked lovingly at a crying woman. Riding up to her, he lifted her chin with a gentle finger, reached into a leather pouch hanging from his belt, and produced a yellow tub of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter." Her tears vanished and the scene shifted to them eating a delicious breakfast in a gazebo with the horse rearing in the background.

Mallory and Tanya burst out laughing at the commercial on the television. It was obviously aimed at middle aged women who preferred to live in romance novels. That guy was practically a living novel cover!

"Wow," Mallory choked around her laughter. "I can't believe it's a real commercial!"

"I know," Tanya snorted. "At least it's not doublemint twins!"

"Oh, mother. Could you imagine two of him? How would the poor damsel in breakfast distress react to two of them showing up?"

Nosedive walked in to see them laughing. Confused, he hopped over the back of the couch and took a seat next to Mallory.

"Uh, okay. Care to fill me in? Something good on Judge Judy?"

"No," Mallory shook her head. "I can't believe it's not butter."

"Okay. Then what is it?"

"Some sort of chemical concoction that tastes like butter?" Tanya scratched her chin. "Maybe I should buy some and figure out what it's made of. It just might come in handy."

"For what? Greasing the shower floor so Nosedive falls down?"

"I dunno! You never know."

"Tanya, you've got to lay off the science experiments." Nosedive tried to grab the remote. "We're putting you on a science diet."

"Isn't that dog food?" Mallory continued to laugh.

"I'm not eating dog food!"

"Ugh." Nosedive hid his eyes behind his hand in embarrassment.

0000

Mallory and Duke, both dressed only in their body suits, squared off in the locker room. They slowly circled, looking for an opening. Mallory feinted a strike to the lower left while bringing up her right leg for a knee to the ribs. Duke reacted quickly, blocking her blow with a forearm and countering with a punch of his own. They danced around, sparring before the start of their next game.

Grin sat on the floor in front of his bench, eyes closed and completely still. Nosedive bounced around the room, dancing and occasionally getting in Duke's and Mallory's way. Wildwing watched from his spot in a safe corner, legs splayed wide and stretching out. Tanya had gone to sharpen her skates.

The dressing room door opened and several reporters entered, cameras and microphones at the ready for pre-game interviews. Most headed straight for Wildwing, eager to discuss his near record-breaking string of shutout games. One more tonight would be five in a row and a new NHL record, if not a personal one.

Wildwing grabbed the blue, foam roller for helping deepen stretches and threw it at Nosedive. The tube hit him on the rear end.

"Jerkweed!" He stopped his dancing and finally noticed the invasion. Rolling his eyes, he stopped dancing and picked up the roller, throwing it right back as Wildwing. The white drake caught it with one hand set it aside.

"Hey, Nosedive, go be annoying." Those were the first words he'd spoken all day.

Nosedive grinned at his brother's order. Nothing should interrupt their pre-game ritual, especially since Wildwing was on a shutout streak. Absolutely no distractions could be allowed and it was his sacred duty to fend off the media.

"Yo, reporter dudes!" Nosedive removed his shirt stood before them, flexing like a body builder. "Check it out. All I need is a white horse and some butter and I could have my own commercial." He flipped his hair around and stepped in front of the camera, doing his best imitation of the guy from the commercial.

"Wildwing!" A male reporter tried to get around Nosedive and go for the real story.

"Oof!" Duke found himself landing roughly in the middle of the pack, knocking down several reporters and causing the rest to scatter.

"Hah! Point's mine!" Mallory walked over, dusting her hands off.

"In your dreams, sweetheart." Duke lunged at her feet in an attempt to take their sparring to the floor.

Mallory jumped up, avoiding the attack. She landed on a dropped microphone and lost her footing.

Nosedive slid forward, catching her as she fell dramatically into his arms. He smiled down at her and started reciting a revised version of the commercial.

"She wanted to remember the love they shared for hockey, but the media kept getting in the way."

Mallory put a hand up to his face, returning his deep gaze.

"I can't believe you're not Duke."

"Have at you!" Duke lunged at Nosedive with a hockey stick held like a sword.

Nosedive released his hold on Mallory and clutched at his 'wounded' chest.

"Urk! No!" He dropped to his knees. "Mallory," he gasped. "Avenge me." He fell forward, pretending to die.

"Villain!" Mallory lunged at Duke again. "You'll pay for that."

The reporters who had managed to get their cameras back in order switched their focus from the quiet goalie in the corner to the dramatic action happening between the forward line.

Tanya walked in, freshly sharpened skates in hand. She took one look at the insanity in the locker room, turned around, and vanished again.

0000

"Wait a minute…" Mallory pointed to the muscular, blond hunk sitting in the row behind their team bench. "Isn't that the butter guy?"

"What?" Tanya glanced over to where Mallory indicated.

Loud music blared through the arena as the Mighty Ducks and Flapjacks skated around the ice, warming up for their game. The third in their series of home games, the Ducks were more than ready to take on the Flapjacks for another shutout victory.

"I think it is…"

The classically handsome man watched Mallory with a keen eye. His gaze followed her across the ice, demanding her attention. She refused to give it to him. There were far more important things to attend to. Like not getting hit in the face with a puck.

"Dude, check it out," Nosedive jerked his head towards the glass as he skated up to Mallory and matched her pace. "It's your fantasy guy! Maybe you should go ask for some butter."

She laughed and lightly jabbed the knob of her stick in his side before turning around and skating in the opposite direction.

0000

Play paused as the Flapjacks center was called off sides. Music blared through the arena and the Ducks glided around, waiting for the refs to grab the puck and do another faceoff.

"What the?" Mallory frowned as a rose flew over the glass barrier to land near her. Looking through the glass, she saw the handsomely blond man standing with one leg on the chair, posing, one rose between his teeth.

She lifted an eyebrow in confusion, shook her head, and skated around the rose without picking it up. At least he was throwing flowers at her and not bread.

"Your turn." Duke ignored the rose on the ice as he passed Mallory and took up his position to the right of the faceoff circle.

Mallory took the faceoff and play once again resumed.

0000

At the end of the second period, Wildwing still held a scoreless game. The team was in high spirits as they skated towards the gate leading off the ice. Stepping off the slick surface and onto the laid out carpet, they began the short trek back to their dressing room.

The blond model stood at the railing separating the fans from the tunnel. He reached a hand out to catch Mallory's attention.

"Mallory!" His voice was thickly accented.

She towards him and nodded a greeting, but kept walking. It wasn't unusual for fans to call out to them or reach out for high fives. She made a point to never indulge them with the high fives, even if Nosedive would jump up to slap as many hands as possible.

Once in the dressing room, they began removing sweat soaked jerseys and pieces of their padding so they could cool off. Wildwing took several long drinks from his water bottle before pouring some on his face and wiping it off with a towel.

Nobody spoke to the goalie, no matter how badly they wanted to congratulate him on a game well played so far. He went to his corner and lay down on the floor, arms and legs outstretched.

"I think the butter guy has a thing for you, sweetheart." Duke had noticed the intense stare of the blond man as his gaze followed the right wing's every move.

"Yeah," she nodded. "It's kind of creepy. Oh well. He'll probably get an autograph and photo after the game and I'll never have to see him again."

"Do you think, you know, he might be—" Tanya's words drifted off as she pulled at the lacing on her shoulder pads to loosen them.

"The guy from the commercial?" Mallory finished for him. "I don't know. Maybe?"

"I think it is," Nosedive pulled his right arm across his chest, stretching out a sore shoulder from being checked too hard. "I mean, he looks exactly like him and I could barely understand him."

A knock on the door announced Phil's entrance to the room. Unexpectedly, the butter model was with him.

"Guys, this is Fabio," he introduced. "Fabio, this is Mallory, Tanya, Nosedive, Duke, Grin, and Wildwing's laying down over there. Do not talk to him."

Fabio nodded and took a confident step towards Mallory.

"I am a huge fan." He spoke as if his mouth were filled with mashed potatoes. "I have seen many beautiful women, but none match your exotic allure."

"Um," Mallory crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow. "Thanks?" She hated dealing with men who wanted to go out with her simply because she was an alien.

"Please, fair lady," he tried the fantasy speech. "Dine with me tonight. It is the least you can do."

Mallory puzzled through his thick accent before she figured out he was inviting her out to dinner.

"No, thank you. I'm busy."

"But," he flipped a lock of his blond hair over his shoulder, "I can show you a side of this city you have yet to see."

"I doubt that." Honestly, she'd seen just about every part of Anaheim that could possibly exist, from the slums to the nut house to the ritzy mansions people like Nana or movie stars lived in.

"We would make such a beautiful couple! Imagine the photos in the tabloid."

"I don't think so. Besides, Nosedive has better hair."

"Hey, hands off my Tabloid Wife," Nosedive stepped next to Mallory.

For once, she was thankful for the stupid April Fool's prank they had played where they'd pretended to get secretly married.

"Yeah," Mallory nodded, putting an elbow on his shoulder and leaning on the slightly taller drake. "As far as the gossip magazines are concerned, Nosedive and I really did get married."

"Or is it you and Grin this week?" Nosedive asked her.

"Pretty sure it's still you. Grin's probably next week."

"Come on," Phil coaxed, "It's a free dinner, Mallory."

"How much did he pay you?" Duke asked. There was no way Phil would be pushing this if money weren't involved.

"Nothing!"

"I gave him coupons for free I Can't Believe It's Not Butter," Fabio offered. "It is really good for the heart."

"Yeah, sure." Mallory frowned before making a shooing motion. "Run along. We've got a short break before the next period and I'd like to rest a bit." She turned her back to him and moved towards the locker room. If nothing else, she could at least go somewhere the public was never allowed.

Phil gave Fabio a commiserating look before leading him back to his seat in the stadium.

0000

Two minutes left in the third period and the score stood at 2-0. Play had been fast and hard and Wildwing had earned several incredible saves. If he could hold out a few more minutes, he would break the league record for most games shut out in a row.

Tanya hip checked the Flapjack's left wing away from the goal while Grin stole the puck and sent it back towards center ice, where Nosedive was waiting. Nosedive took the pass and carried it towards the opposing goal when it was poked away from him. He wheeled around, trying to snatch it back. His stick hit the edge of the puck, launching it high into the air.

Everyone watched as the puck seemed to move in slow motion, sailing over the protective, glass barrier, and smashed into the face of a muscular, blond man. He cried out in pain. Blood poured down out his nose and stained the floor and his perfect attire.

Play stopped when the whistle blew. Mallory tried not to laugh. Getting hit in the face like that hurt— a sensation she knew far too well from personal experience— but it was great seeing someone who had been trying to distract her all game get his fair comeuppance.

"Oops." Nosedive winced and glanced towards his teammates.

Wildwing crossed his arms, glaring at Nosedive.

The younger drake shrugged in apology for causing a needless delay and handing the Flapjacks a power play for the rest of the game. Now he'd have to spend the last two minutes in the penalty box on a minor for sending the puck over the glass, even if it was unintentional.

Whistles blew and play ceased yet again. Fabio was shouting either in some foreign language or incoherent words, furious about the damage to his face.

"Holy shit." Mallory stood next to Nosedive, her smile barely concealed. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"For what? For making this game last longer? Making us shorthanded?" He was not happy about this one bit.

"For making sure he won't be pestering me after the game!"

"Yeah," Duke added, "But you coulda handled him."

"Not the point."

"Where you going?" Duke asked Tanya as she sped past them and to the camera booth next to their seats.

"I want to see the footage! How'd that happen? The chances of the puck going over the glass are really, really small. And then hitting someone who'd been annoying Mallory all night? That's just astronomical! I mean, it's close to one in nine million!"

"Alright, kid." One of the refs skated up to Nosedive and thumbed towards the box. "Sin bin for ya."

"Yeah, yeah." He rolled his eyes. "I know." They skated off towards the penalty box while Fabio was escorted out towards the medical center by Dr. Lows and one of her trainee medics.

The game finished with Wildwing barely holding on to his shutout. Luckily for him, the media latched onto Fabio being injured in the game as a far more interesting story than Wildwing's new NHL record for most shutout games in a row.