A/N: I know, there's no excuse other than the words simply disappeared.

Here's to hoping that they've returned.

Enjoy! And create until you bleed…

Warning: Ed's language and slight sexual activity if you squint.

Chapter Eleven

So many words percolated through my mind with each step down, how righteous it would feel to once again stand above him and question his motives. All sorts of vile words, words that I'd hope would strike to the core of what I'd mistaken for a prideful heartbeat underneath all of that ignorance. I wanted the satisfaction of seeing the pain erupt in his midnight blue eyes for what he'd asked of me.

Attack.

Hurt.

Destroy.

Not to love, not to understand, only to topple what we'd so clumsily built.

Yes, I had a lot I wanted to say to him but, mysteriously, the words simply…disappeared.

They disappeared in the maelstrom of an eerie silence, cloaked heavily in the darkness that enveloped me as I came to the last step. I glanced around, shifting my eyes from the right then to the left, holding my gaze on the door of the left. Behind it sat my only means of meandering through all of this muck and mire he'd kicked up and yet, I suspected that the only thing I'd find were simply more questions.

I came to rest inches from the door, my head bowed and eyes closed, raising my fist to knock only to be cut off by a gruff voice.

"No need to knock, Ed. C'mon in."

My eyes snapped open and I bit down on my lip to stop the anger from spewing forth and eating up precious time. Somewhere, in the ether of all that rage, I remembered that we were on a schedule of sorts. Exhaling, I dropped my hand to the door knob and turned it, the ominous creak echoing through the cavernous basement.

Keep your wits about yourself, I reminded myself. For I wasn't dealing with some simpleton- well, in my eyes, he was every bit of the imbecile he'd made out to be, but that was neither here nor there at the moment.

The door swung open to reveal more inky darkness, the lone window in the room probably coated with too much dust to allow even a shaft of the moonlight to enter- had there been any. The swirling of confusing emotion settled and a satisfied smirk rose on my lips as I took a step forward.

At least I wasn't the only one left in the dark.

"How did you know it was me?" I asked as I stood just inside of the door and left it open. I wanted to keep my escape route clear, no matter where the threat originated from. My thoughts traveled back two weeks again, to the moment I saw his body spin helplessly until coming to rest on the ground in a heap of defeat.

A slight shuffling pulled me back to the present and I focused on where the sound came from. Peering into the darkness, I could just make out the outline of his body. He was bound to a chair, his hands secured behind his back, separated. I frowned; the state really had some numbskulls working for them. If they thought that binding his hands separate was a sound plan for the Flame Alchemist…

"Don't worry, Fullmetal, they've done a great job at securing me." His chuckle filtered through the darkness, its sound churning my guts. How could he be so jovial at a time like this? Facing what would be a sham of a trial and shot for treason and he could laugh, joke around?

"You do realize that you've probably got maybe two days before you face a firing squad, right?"

"Wouldn't be the first time I've gazed down the barrel of a weapon," he answered blithely, "but we're just wasting time here, Edaline."

The simmering rage grew at his dismissive comment and I grit my teeth, determined to keep my cool. He was right though. I had no time to trade barbs.

"Alright, so let's get to it, then Mustang. Why all of this? Why all the dramatics, the plots, and the clues?" I inched forward toward the shallow breaths, "Why not find an advantage and take out your target?"

"There's a certain thing called finesse, Ed."

"Fuck finesse, Roy! They're going to kill you! You get that right? No get out of jail free card, no wisecracks, no charming disposition is going to get you out of this!"

"Am I detecting a bit of…fear," he questioned cheekily, "certainly not from the Fullmetal Alchemist!"

I knew what he was doing and goddamnit, it was working. Before I'd known what I was doing, I'd honed on him, rushing forward, my hands grasping the shirt on his chest. I pulled at it, delighting in the small tuft of air that escaped his lungs if only because it meant that he wouldn't have enough breath to speak. Anger swelled as I tightened my grip, the words crowding my thoughts. He really didn't understand…

"The fuck if this is fear, Mustang. It's anger, it is rage, it's…it's the desire to tear you limb from limb!" I shook him hard as I continued, "You don't know how much I want to kick your ass for what you've put me through!"

His silence was ill timed, serving only to ignite the flames of my wrath. It was only by a sliver of patience, patience I didn't even know I'd possessed, that I didn't act on my desires to thoroughly wreck him. My breaths were coming too fast, my chest heaving as I dizzily stared at him through the darkness, waiting for an explanation. Just as I thought he was willing to let the silence stand, he exhaled as much as he could and dropped his head in defeat.

"All I can say is that I'm sorry. You'll understand more when we've come to the conclusion of this."

I loosed my grip on his shirt and took a step back, shaking my head in disbelief.

Was he serious?

Did he think his contrition was enough to silence my wrath?

Left with just a mere apology and the reassurance that I'd understand at the end?

After all I'd done for him?

Fuck. That.

"YOU don't understand any of this, do you? YOU don't understand what you've asked of me, that I followed your path without question. You have no idea how it feels to ache for something tangible. For something, for once, to stick!" I was perilously close to losing it, the tightness in my throat a good indication that the tears were next. I couldn't help my response and before I had a chance, the tear made berth and fell. "You have no idea…"

"No idea of what, Ed?"

I lifted my arm as I turned to leave, hoping that he wouldn't hear the despair in my voice. He was clueless to how I felt, how absolutely crushed I'd been to find my bed empty the next day with nothing but an alcohol induced haze and the pleasurable tinge of soreness between my thighs. He had no inkling that I'd chased him not just to understand what he'd done but to grasp at the futile straws of truth.

A truth, it seemed, he'd never tell me. Then again, I hadn't been as forthcoming as I could've been myself. But this wasn't about me, never was. He was deflecting, keeping me at arm's length again. And I'd finally had enough.

"When you moved, I moved, Roy. I never had much more to lose as I did following you," I responded quietly. "I guess…I guess that doesn't make a difference, just as long as you reach your goal, right?"

Again, silence.

It stopped me in my tracks and I turned partially, seeing his shadowy outline in my peripheral. One more time, I was giving him one more time to come clean. "You're not going to tell me what's going on, are you?"

"It would be detrimental to the mission itself."

There was no hesitation, no distress. Just words delivered on a flat, unassuming tone. That hurt, more than finding him in some other woman's arms, more than a blade shoved through my heart. After all I'd –we'd done- I'd been downgraded to nothing more than an agent, a pawn.

Well, at least I knew my place in his life.

The anger dissipated, leaving in its wake nothing more than an emptying shell. A dry laugh escaped my lips as I turned and walked out of the door. Instead of slamming it, I pulled slowly, the silent yet brash sound of the locks clicking causing me to jump slightly. There was no muffled outcry, no demand for me to come back.

Just deafening silence.

That said more than words could ever.

I didn't waste any more time, climbing steps rapidly. I had to get out of there, leave the disappointments and the hurt behind. I didn't even heed Maes' calls to me, opting to ignore him rather than to explain the fatal blow that the man I'd loved had blown to both my mind and body.

To put a finer point on it, Colonel Roy Mustang and all of his machinations were dead to me.

Oddly, the thought of his imminent demise was my only recompense.

Breaking free of the building, I turned toward the vibrant lights of Central, allowing the gentle breeze that blew against me take the tears. I wasn't even feeling going back to the bar so I just walked. I walked, puzzling out everything like why I allowed him to toy with me, with my feelings, with my heart. I thought until my head ached, each footstep forward pushing me ever downward that spiraling abyss. Had I ever meant anything to him? Was I just a tool he'd pick out to use at his disposal?

"And I let him do it," I mumbled as I kicked a can. Its tinny bounce died on the wind and I finally lifted my head to find that I'd meandered my way to my brother's place. I glanced up at the façade before stepping toward the stoop only to remember that he'd hadn't come back yet. Exhaling heavily, I turned to leave. If I were going to find any peace, I'd have to find it on my own.

"Ed," a voice queried, "what are you doing here?"

I stopped short and turned quickly to find Alphonse standing behind me, his arms loaded with his coat and his suitcase. In the soft glow of the street lamp, his eyes gleamed with equal parts of surprise and confusion. I bet I was a sight, hair windblown and an air of uncertainty circling around me. Just the same, Alphonse approached, dropping his wares and welcoming me with open arms. I inhaled deeply as we embraced, smelling the scent of the traveled roads, its aroma ever tempting. It would be easier to just leave, take my place in the ever blowing winds of change and forget about everything.

I felt myself dissolving under his strong arms, thankful for such warmth to drive out the despondency that had taken root in my heart.

"Ed, what's wrong?" he asked, clearly surprised at my show of emotion. He pulled away and I clung absently to him, inciting more inquisitiveness, "Edaline Elric, you tell me what's happened, right now!"

Furiously, I wiped at my eyes, a small chuckling just breaking past my lips. To hear the indignation in his voice took me back several years when we'd sparred and even further to the days we'd spent at our mother's ankles, chasing each other.

"Watch it, you two. Stop being stubborn and listen!"

"Ed?" Alphonse's perplexed expression brought on more laughter and he arched a brow and asked, "Have you been drinking again, Sister?"

I waved him off and walked past him, heading for his suitcase and coat. Bending to pick it up, I answered, "It's been about two months since I last saw you, right?"

"And three weeks since we've talked on the phone, what of it?" Alphonse caught up to me and attempted to grab for his belongings only to find that I'd moved them just out of his reach. "Surely, you haven't gotten into too much trouble since then, have you Sister?"

"Alphonse, you don't know the half of it."

I could hear his familiar exasperated sigh behind me as we climbed the stairs of his stoop. The questions hadn't stopped firing off of Alphonse's lips, the irritation evident in his voice. He was determined to figure out the complexity that was his sister. Even so, I was content in this space, knowing that whatever I said, even if it didn't match his thinking, would not land on deaf ears.

It was then I knew that I'd made the right decision in walking away.

Clear of mind and eased of the choking tension around my heart were hallmarks of a good time spent with my brother. Even as I fought through the ether of discontent and a churning stomach, Alphonse's gentle gaze soothed my inner beast. Why I chose to cling to something as asinine as a possible romance with a man who, on my best day, I could only be mildly tolerant of was baffling, yet Alphonse merely listened intently, interjecting only when I paused long enough to take in a cleansing breath and release it slowly. And his words, although tinged with a hint of askance, made sense.

"You were doing as you'd always done, Sister. You were only following your heart..."

"Yeah, but that doesn't absolve me of stupidity."

He'd given a faint chuckle, pausing slightly to sip his tea, and then beginning again. His patience was always a telling truth."True, Ed. But it does show that you're human, and we make mistakes every now and then. And despite who you love, it's not a mistake."

"Love ?"

"Dearest, Edaline. It's been written on your face since you were a kid. To deny him is to deny you…"

I'd known talking was therapeutic, but with Alphonse, it was damn near a revelation.

Now, I was walking toward my own place, the soft assurances and the security of my brother's warm embrace made what had been agonizing more…effortless. Yes, I was still pissed and yes, I'd probably want to pull the trigger on Mustang myself but all of the destructiveness had bled out, leaving me with nothing more than a sobering thought: What was between Roy and I was inevitable, even its demise. I only had to square with it.

"A lot of good that will do," I huffed entering my building. The streets were quiet, the gentle shift in the wind blowing lazily between the branches of the tree, the rustling leaves sounding more like a rain shower in its languid movement. The sun still had hours yet, hours that would possibly bring the end of Mustang's life ever so closer. The thought of him standing in front of a firing squad didn't make me as giddy as before and as I took to the stairs, my throat tightened and my eyes began to water.

Mustang was going to die.

I was going to watch the only man I'd loved be murdered for Truth only knows and there was nothing I could do about it.

Suddenly, my anger was no longer just about Mustang. It was about how impotent I'd been. No matter how much I'd tried, no matter the orders I rushed to follow, I'd had no more of an effect on what was going on than the blind faithful who loyally served the Amestrian military.

Used without a purpose.

But that thought only served to remind me of Mustang's own rouse.

"If only he'd just let me in on it," I huffed as I stepped onto the darkened landing. The corridor was shadowed and briefly, I'd felt the nagging sense that I'd been here before, arriving at my door, questioning his motives. I inhaled quickly, half expecting to catch a whiff of alcohol and mildly aggravated that it hadn't been there. Shaking my head, I slipped my keys in and turned.

"I waited for you, Ed."

My heart stopped the last pulsating beat fading as I felt the awareness closing in. My eyes slid closed as his scent invaded my senses, the words he'd spoken matching the very ones he'd said that night. Only these were not laced with copious amounts of alcohol and regret. They were startlingly steady, as was the hand that came to rest on my shoulder. His breath glanced off of my neck, the husky sigh fluttering my golden tresses and sending delightful shivers down my back.

I'm dreaming this… I had to be.

That was the only explanation to his presence. I'd left him hours ago, tied to a chair in a dark room in the bowels of some dusty safe house, my anger spilling out as quickly as my profane language, wishing I'd never see or hear him again.

Yet, here he was…

"This is not a dream, Edaline." God damn, his honeyed voice. It had the power to simultaneously incite equal bouts of bashfulness and sinful passion.

I didn't turn around because truthfully, I didn't know what I was going to do. Safe bet was to continue to face the door, hoping that this was some kind of auditory hallucination of sorts. I inhaled deeply and let it out slowly, biting my lip against the tears that threatened to spill forth. He wrapped his other arm around my waist and tried to pull me closer to him, the heat of his proximity further weakening my already silent protests.

"No…this can't be real." His insistence lifted slightly but he held me close, "I- I just…You were bound. In the safe house."

The game shifted in his favor when he moved closer to me, his lips glancing off the same spot his breath had occupied. My nipples hardened immediately, my body priming to defy my mind once again. I was fully willing to retaliate, fully ready to turn and swing on him. But he reached for my hand and helped me turn the knob, "Later, Edaline. I'll explain later."

I'd heard that before.

As the door creaked slowly, I opened my eyes to take in the darkened corners of my apartment, brief flashes of memory adding to the sense of déjà vu. His hands were on the move and the sound of the door swiftly closing behind us was loud in the silence of the moment, his fingers grasping hungrily at the jacket that hung perilously from my shoulders. His tongue trailed a thin line around the shell of my ear, his breathy sighs of desire and want causing a flush of warmth to pool in my belly.

The passion was growing, his movements that were once hesitant and cautious were now lascivious and urgent, his fingers deftly removing my shirt and my bra. His warm hands cupped my breasts and manipulated the turgid peaks, the decadent, almost shameful moans slipping through my lips echoing off of the walls. All thoughts of anger eluded me. All I wanted was here and there was no talking allowed.

Cursing, maybe.

Screaming, probably.

Talking…

He said nothing more as he practically ripped my pants off, his urgency now bleeding into resolve. As he quickly prepared me and entered me from behind, there was nothing left to say.

Talking would come later.

Now was the time for a little retribution.

TBC…