To say that she had a lot of weight lying around just the same was a bit of an understatement.

Well, a hell of an understatement at that.

The weight she had lying around felt more like a rock tied around her waist. It was the kind of weight that felt like there was the heel of a boot pressed against it too- as if the rock wasn't heavy enough on its own. Like a heel rocking back and forth, ready to give the rock a nice kick into the ocean.

It was like the weight of water, of rolling waves, and debilitating pressure bearing down on her chest, bearing down on her lungs.

... But if Ghost was strong enough to let that same kind of weight go, to let it be free for only just a few minutes, than so could she.

"Is that coffee ready yet?" Haylen asked instead, posing the words like it was just another night in Cambridge. Like it was just another night spent at the round table that rocked against the one leg propped up by books and a metal tray- a fixer-up by yours truly. Another night that was filled with more silence than conversation at times but never feeling as though it was too quiet or too alone.

Ghost gave a quiet laugh at the question before the woman moved to check on the boiling pot- as though fully understanding why Haylen might want the coffee first.

Liquid courage was easier to find at the bottom of a bottle.

But it was amazing what a quick caffeine rush could give to a person.

Haylen watched as Ghost seemed content with the contents inside of the pot before the woman moved back to her box. Shuffling some things around, Ghost pulled out two coffee cups and what looked to be some kind of self-made ladle or something. It was a melted rod of some sort that had been heated and forced into a scooping shape- or at least, that's what Haylen's best guess of it was anyways.

Either way, Ghost used the makeshift tool to stir the coffee around before she carefully ladled some of it into one cup, which Ghost then handed off to her.

Haylen graciously took the cup, valuing the warmth that it brought to her hands as she wrapped her fingers around it; the soothing, familiar aroma wasn't something to be ignored either. Some days there was just nothing more comforting than the smell of freshly-brewed coffee. (Although the freshly-brewed part could be questionable.) For a few seconds, the aroma and heat slipped her into a sense of ease- allowing her to ignore her ongoing problems for just a little while longer.

"I don't exactly have any sugar or anything out here just yet so I hope you don't mind it black," Ghost spoke, as she ladled some into the second cup for herself before she eased back down to where she had been sitting. There must've been a tease of some kind in the woman's voice considering that they had always drank it black back at Cambridge. "You guys should get back to me when you've re-created coffee creamer though."

Haylen chuckled lightly at the half-hearted demand. "I hate to break it to you, Ghost, but at the rate things are going right now I don't think coffee creamer is at the top of the list just yet."

"We as humankind have our priorities wrong then."

Haylen gave the coffee some time to cool off before she decided to take the risk and hesitantly brought the cup to her lips.

The first sip was a little strong.

It burned in her throat and left the taste of coffee grinds on her tongue.

She didn't let it deter her completely though and hesitantly sipped at it once more- remembering well that she had had far worse.

After all, no coffee was worse than the worst of coffee.

So bad coffee was still good coffee in some twisted sense.

(And she had stomached far worse things than this.)

"It doesn't make sense, you know," Haylen finally started, finding false confidence in the warmth in her hands, in the stilling warmth in her throat and stomach. "It doesn't make sense as to why Elder Maxson would be at Cambridge- why he would just so happen to be there the one time I bail out. He never steps off the Prydwen unless it's to visit the airport or Fort Strong. He never leaves his office unless it's to have a meeting with his Paladins or someone from the council. There's just... there's no logical reason for him to be out there, to be at Cambridge, so far away from the Prydwen."

Haylen wasn't above admitting that Elder Maxon's presence had been a consistent and irritating mystery that had been plaguing her since the whole exile bullshit. It was like a growth, a tumor, that only grew larger the more she lingered on the ordeal. Not that she was outside of her right to do so; it had only been a few days passing by now after all. She was still stuck in the rut of missing her routine, missing her walks around the police station.

She just hoped that maybe if she talked about the situation than it would eventually begin to make sense to her, that maybe some hidden puzzle pieces would fall out of the sky and complete the story.

And if a miracle wasn't to happen then maybe Ghost would somehow have some kind of answer for her.

"If it had been Danse at Cambridge, sure, I would've been able to convince him to go without reporting it; it wouldn't been easy but certainly doable- Danse isn't an unforgiving hard-ass," Haylen continued. "He probably would've made me pick up the nightshift for a month but so what? And Rhys- he would've given me hell for it, given me the righteous act, but I think he would've understood my reasoning more than he'd be willing to let on. It's not like... it's not like we would've wanted to see someone else die to a completely avoidable situation."

The words stung a little when they left her lips.

The bitterness of the coffee tasted like blood in her mouth.

"It doesn't make sense. Elder Mason said that he was out there for a routine check but he doesn't do those- he never has. He always sends out the Paladins to do it. And even when he does visit, he makes sure that each one is well-known and called ahead of time for- if anything for his own protection."

It just made sense that way.

After all, one wouldn't want for the leader of their faction to just up and disappear should something suddenly arise.

(Although one could argue that that was what Ghost was doing right now.)

"Not to butt in with conspiracy theories here but... it sounds like the Elder's got something else going on," Ghost remarked.

"When doesn't he have something else going on?" Haylen huffed in return- surprising herself with the bitterness in her own voice. "He's got his head so far up his ass about the rumors with the Institute, he's practically combing his own fingers through the dirt to find them. I understand that everyone wants a piece of the Institute, that we've all seen the damages that they've done, and we're aware of what they can do. And part of me wants to give Maxson the benefit of the doubt; part of me wants to believe that he wants to put the Institute down because of their atrocities... But I also believe that he's just in it for the technology, that he's just in it to prove to everyone why anything other than human is wrong."

It was always said that anger made a person honest and there was plenty of anger and honesty in Haylen's words.

And yet at the same time she felt the hard kick of guilt in her stomach when the words came out.

Just a day out of the Brotherhood and here she was badmouthing it already.

What kind of Scribe did that make her out to be?

Let alone what kind of person.

"I came from the Wasteland, from D.C.," Haylen started again, knowing that Ghost already knew that much about her. "I traveled here with Recon Squad Gladius. There were seven of us together and I traveled day and night with those men. I patched them up after every gunfight with every Raider, with every Gunner who tried to cut us off. After some of the things I've gone through they were the closest thing to family that I had."

She took another sip of coffee, hoping that it would bring some warmth to her chilling words.

"Knight Brach was the first. He stepped on a landmine out by Corvega and died three minutes after the explosion; there was nothing I could do," Haylen recited. "After him was Knight Worwick, who was injured from the same fight with those Raiders; they filled him full of bullets that I had to cut out. I managed to keep him alive for two days, keeping him together with stimpaks, while stringing myself along with a mess of no sleep, intense fear, and a sense of hate that I couldn't save Brach."

Her head still rang from time to time when she thought about the landmine going off- still able to hear the shrieking explosion of it only a few yards ahead of her.

Her fingertips still ached and throbbed when she thought about the bullets, when she thought about the hollowed numbers that spilled from her lips- counting each and every bullet that clanged when she dropped it onto the metal tray next to her.

"... Turns out I couldn't save Worwick either," she sighed. "Danse ordered for peace so I gave it to him in the form of a cocktail. Worwick died within thirty seconds but... I don't think it was quick enough." A pause, a loose recounted prayer; a desperate attempt to wipe that horrified memory from the back of her eyelids. "Knight-Sargeant Dawes came after; he died almost immediately- he was dead before I even knew what had happened to him. Knight Keane was the last and he was torn apart right in front of me. I spent days trying to wash the blood out of my clothes, trying to wash the dirt out from underneath my nails after I buried him."

Sometimes when Haylen closed her eyes she could still see them.

She could still hear them.

She could still recall the stories they would recite during their travels or around the fire after they had made camp for the night. Worwick used to call Danse a hard-ass but the man seemed to enjoy getting the Paladin to laugh from time to time when he could; it was hard to do and Danse very rarely gave the man the satisfaction of doing so. But every now and again Worwick won the battle.

Maybe not the war but a battle now and again was enough to keep the man satisfied.

Cambridge had felt so empty without them there- enough so that Haylen wanted to embrace the idea of another unit moving in, of more people around to fill in the space. But even when the new unit did come in, when people filled the rooms and courtyard once more, it didn't change anything.

There were still cold spots all over the station, each spot a reminder of how no one else could fill that place.

There was spot by the front counter where Brach had once lit a cigarette inside- complaining about the heavy rain outside and ignoring Danse telling him to put the cigarette out. The two argued, Brach pretended to go outside, and then he proceeded to flip Danse off at the doorway.

Worwick just about fell out of his chair from laughing so hard.

There was another one by the computer in the back room, where Keane had hovered over her, watching her trying to crack through the security system- and then clapping a hand on her shoulder when she finally did.

... No amount of people could make that place feel warm again.

And Haylen couldn't help but to wonder how Danse and Rhys were taking it.

Or if they even cared about it.

They were both too stubborn, too close-hearted to admit when something got to them. Even after the back-to-back again deaths they had witnessed up till now, neither of them showed any outward expression about it. Not in front of her anyways. But Haylen would be a hypocrite to say that she didn't either; things were always easiest to deal with when behind a closed door.

"There were seven of us when we started... and now after my departure there's only two of them left."

"I'm sorry, Haylen."

The words almost hurt.

Only because she knew that Ghost was genuine when she said them.

"Yeah," Haylen whispered with a brief nod, "you and me both."

It was quiet for a little while afterwards and Haylen couldn't blame the silence for it.

Letting go of that weight felt good.

It felt healthy, it felt refreshing- it felt like something that Haylen should've done a long time ago.

And she didn't need someone else to comment on it. Her past wasn't up for discussion and this exercise wasn't about dissecting it either. It was about talking, about letting go, about letting the words take flight. She didn't need validation on what actions were right or what actions were wrong.

This was just about her.

But it also meant that there was a lot more baggage that was out in the open now; a lot of baggage hanging between them. It was always considered to be a bad omen to open too much at one time to one person; to bring so much pain and negativity to someone else's doorstep. And yet Haylen didn't feel as though it was a burden to do so. She now knew of things that she wasn't certain that she wanted to know- but part of her was glad to know them regardless.

"Everyone out here wants to destroy the Institute and I can't blame them for that- I've seen the aftermaths," Ghost started, holding her cup with the fingers of one hand, while the other was propped behind her. "But... all I want out of this mess is just one chance to talk."

After hearing countless war talks, countless horror stories based around rumors, such a simple request sounded mad.

"To talk?" Haylen repeated. "All you want to do is talk with the Institute?"

"It sounds crazy, I know, especially given everything I'm working with right now," Ghost continued. "I don't care to know what the Institute knows or what their excuses for doing these atrocities are. I just want to know the important things. I just want to know why I had to be a part of their scheme, why did they have to drag me into this? Why did they have to kill Eli over an infant?" Ghost stammered with the name but recollected and continued. "I want to know what happened to my son. I think... I think that that's the least they could do for me and it's the easiest answer they can give. Whether or not they want to is a different story but that's okay too- because I'm pretty good at making people talk."

Everyone was gunning for the Institute, looking for a vulnerable spot, looking for a throat that could be torn out.

And maybe everyone here deserved a chance to do so.

The Commonwealth more than the Brotherhood.

But Ghost more than the Commonwealth maybe.

She was still fresh, still new to this world; she wasn't the first victim of the Institute. But her story, the way she was involved, the way she was entangled in this mess was something completely unheard of. Ghost had a special right; she had a first-class ticket with the Institute.

"Well if there's anyone here who could actually make it to the Institute and make them talk, I'd put my caps on it being you," Haylen replied, catching the brief smile that toyed on the corners of the woman's lips.

Sniper.

Infiltrator.

Overall hard-ass.

Ghost was the kind of woman who could get things done when she wanted them done- either by bullet or by hand, maybe by words if one was lucky. Barely four months into this new world and Ghost was already molding it to her hand, molding it to her will. It wouldn't be long before the Institute caught wind of her, before the Institute got curious- maybe even a little afraid. She would either be considered a person of interest or a threat, and sometimes the two ran hand-in-hand.

Haylen lifted her cup and offered it in a mock toast to the woman. "Ad Victorium, sister Ghost."

Ghost snorted in response and shot her an exasperated grin before she moved to connect her cup to the rim of Haylen's- and pushed back on it in a returned toast.

"Ad Nauseum more like it, sister Haylen."

Haylen laughed in return before she jerked her cup back to prevent Ghost from spilling the contents of it onto her.

After the conversations they had just shared it felt good to hear Ghost laugh again; it felt good to wipe the desolate look off of her face- even if it was for just a short while. It was more than enough to satisfy her, and more than enough to let the tension break soft and gently between them. It let everything out to the ocean, giving them some peace with themselves and with each other.

"Is it weird?" Haylen started, purposely leaving her question half-assed to begin with. Despite everything that had just been passed between them, she was still in the mood to talk, she was still in the mood to learn more. And honestly she just didn't want their conversations to end with what had just been said. She would much prefer something on a lighter note.

But right now she was leaving the option open for Ghost to decide if things were worth continuing.

And judging by Ghost's reaction, the woman's curiosity had been peaked enough to press for an elaboration. "Is what weird?"

"You used to be an infiltrator, right?" Haylen asked, watching as Ghost nodded as she spoke. "So you were always the person behind the curtain pulling all the strings; you never really had your name out in the open. So it is weird now that everyone here knows who you are and what you're doing? I mean, everyone seems to know every detail about what happened to you, about the vault you came from. Everyone knows what you did and what you've done- what you used to do. You used to stand in the back and now you're up here in front. Is it weird to be standing on the other foot now?"

"The military controlled every little detail about me that was released to the public," Ghost started. "At first I was just an American sniper who laid siege to the enemy, who helped my fellow soldiers get to safety and claim victory. A few of them even made public statements about me, saying that I was like a guardian angel over their shoulders- an angel with a steady hand and perfect sight down the barrel. A little too dramatic if you ask me. Once I started getting into the dirty business though, that's when the real twisting began. I was an infiltrator; I sabotaged enemy ambushes by decoding their messages ahead of time. I stole important information regarding coordinates and troop movements, allowing my men to avoid hot spots and catastrophic casualties. I went from being a solider to a would-be celebrity, so you could say that I was sort of always in the spotlight- just not how I should've been."

The woman paused to take a sip of coffee.

And Haylen found herself shamelessly hanging on to every word the woman was saying.

"But what the American public didn't know was that I was a sniper and an assassin," Ghost continued. "I specialized in political assassinations when necessary. Sometimes the newspapers would run articles about yet another amazing feat I had pulled off and have them printed right next to the shocking death of a political opponent to the US. And no one seemed to figure out that both events had been caused by the same person." She paused again and seemed to be gathering her thoughts. "Luka was a war hero who deserved an early retirement and a happy family. Ghost was what happened when war bred with politics; she is disgusting and vile but she does what she has to do to get things done. She gets her hands dirty so no one else has to. And... for once, it feels like she's finally getting the credit she deserves."

Ghost referred to herself by two names- a projected balance of dual personalities.

She let one hide behind the other.

One in front, garnering the attention.

It didn't sound healthy but if it was a way of coping in this world for the time being than so be it.

It was far from being destructive and judging by Ghost's words and by the way she was handling herself now, this wasn't the first time she had split herself in two.

This wasn't the first time she had let Ghost take lead while Luka was gone.

Ghost wasn't stupid; she knew what she was doing and she knew how to handle it.

Haylen watched as the woman sat up and topped off her cup from the boiling pot, more than likely to warm it up, before offering to do the same to Haylen's; and Haylen gladly accepted. True to Ghost's warning earlier, the coffee wasn't all that great but again it was better than nothing. The real comfort of it came from the heat, from the aroma, from the fact that at least there was still coffee in the world.

"Feeling any better?" Ghost asked, taking a sip of her coffee before she pushed her cup into the sand nearby- allowing it to stand while she laid down onto her back, arms tucked underneath her head. It was hard to ignore just how thoroughly relaxed the woman seemed to be- enough so that there was a resting smile on the curve of her lips as she settled in.

It made Haylen wish she could do the same but she wasn't going to risk getting sand anywhere else in her clothing, let alone in her hair.

"Surprisingly," Haylen nodded. "I hate to say it Ghost, but you might have a point about this whole island thing."

Ghost laughed a little and raised one fist in the air in what might've been a victory celebration.

Typical.

Haylen let the woman have whatever victory it was that she thought she deserved.

It felt like the mood was set now, now having calmed down from the much-needed tension it had started off with. Things overall just felt better and lighter now that she didn't have the weight on her. But the weight would come back soon enough and Haylen had to admit that she wasn't quite finished with Ghost just yet.

"Let me ask you something else then since we're both being completely transparent here," Haylen started once more, watching as Ghost nodded for her to go on; the woman didn't so much as move from her relaxed position. And given whatever Ghost's reaction would be to her question, Haylen would almost feel sorry for ruining the atmosphere. "Why did you kiss me back at the airport?"

For just a brief flash of a second, Haylen could've sworn she saw fear on Ghost's face.

Not fear in the general sense of the word, but the woman certainly hadn't been expecting the question.

(And in truth, neither had Haylen.)

Or perhaps Ghost just didn't want to answer it.

"Oh Haylen, I don't think you want to open the Pandora's box on that one," Ghost started, a brisk, somewhat nervous laugh in her voice when she answered. "I think you've learned enough about me today- enough to hold you over for a good while anyways."

"Quite the contrary, I don't think I've learned enough- not yet anyways," Haylen insisted, before she reminded the woman, "it's just a question."

Ghost groaned in response. "It's not just a question," she insisted just the same as she brought her hands to cover her face. Her hands stayed just long enough for Ghost to take a deep breath behind them before she dropped them back down to her sides. "You saved my life and then you got royally screwed over for it. And up until this point, I don't know, I liked hanging out with you; it was a nice little breather, a nice break from everything else, and everyone else that I was dealing with. You made the Brotherhood kind of tolerable for me and you were sort of the only reason I stuck around. I enjoyed our late night coffee talks while everyone else was sleeping; it sort of felt like we were in a world of our own for a little while. So really, I mean, why wouldn't I kiss you?"

A rather open-hearted response.

Something Haylen wasn't entirely expecting; she was expecting something more along the lines of cheeky and sarcastic.

Still, it didn't defuse the quiet snort that left her in response as Haylen took another, warmer, sip of coffee.

"That is the weakest answer I have ever heard."

Ghost gave a mock gasp.

"Ruthless," she retorted in jest before she recovered with a quick grin. "You ask that question a lot?"

"Only when people kiss and run."

"Oh- I did not run," Ghost corrected as she pushed herself up now. "I mean, I kind of did, yeah, but not for the reason you might think."

"You're right," Haylen nodded in mock agreement. "Run was a little exaggerated to use. I mean you probably couldn't run at all with that leg."

Ghost laughed this time, easily taken in by Haylen's cruel joke. But it didn't take long before the laugh died out and Ghost continued- a little more somber this time. "Look, Haylen, while I am all for letting things play out on their own, I just don't think this situation is going to be good for either of us- not now at least. You deserve someone who's more than just some weeping widow hellbent on finding her son and dragging a cargo-load of emotional baggage with her."

"That's pretty gutsy telling me what I do and don't deserve," Haylen replied. "But I guess in the same scheme of things, you also deserve someone who's more than just a washed-out Scribe with nothing ahead of her and too much behind her."

"Whoa, whoa, don't use my logic against me," Ghost spoke in mock defense. "... Although if we're being completely transparent here, you do have a fine ass."

Haylen snorted again in response.

And Ghost laughed once more.

"What is with me and field medics, huh?" Ghost seemed to ask aloud as she laid back down, this time on her right side, facing Haylen. "There must be something about you people that just draws me in. I'm like a fish caught in the current."

Haylen could feel Ghost's eyes on her and looked back to do the same, studying the woman while she was still. There was a subtle turn on the corners of the woman's lips, giving her the smallest look of contentment- a partial smile if Ghost were to push it just a fraction more. Haylen felt the smallest skip in her chest as she lingered on Ghost overall, taking the woman in in full.

There was a second skip as she let her eyes pull focus to Ghost's lips instead.

"Let me ask this then, Haylen, are you saying that you wanted me to kiss you earlier?"

"I just asked why you did," she answered. "It was unexpected and needless to say, even after saving your life earlier, it came out of the left field for me. I just wanted to know what you saw in that moment."

Ghost pushed her lips up until her upper lip touched her nose in an almost comical look of thinking. "I saw the woman who practically saved my life sitting behind bars like she was some kind of criminal, as though saving my life justified a life sentence. Now I'll be real here, Haylen, I don't like letting the good things go or letting a moment escape- I think spending my life looking own a scope made me like that. If I think there's the promise of something good out there than I want to go for it. And... I saw that moment in you, in the airport, and I didn't want to let it go."

Haylen offered a brief smile and broke gaze long enough to take another drink, using it as an excuse to calm the quiver in her throat.

"Now that is an answer," she replied.

Ghost grinned. "I'm glad I was finally able to appease you," she teased. "In all seriousness, I've been living in this hellscape for four months now I think and it's pretty lonely no matter how you look at it. Mind you, this is coming from someone who was routinely stuck in an underground bunker for two months with only myself as company. I have people around me, sure, but it's not exactly the same. But then I met you at Cambridge and you looked lonely too. And the way I figured it, at the very least we could be two lonely people sharing coffee and blood packs. And now look at us, we've upgraded to two lonely people sharing coffee and a fire."

Haylen laughed at the woman's continued heartfelt monologue

"We are," Haylen nodded, "but... not so lonely now I think."

"Yeah, I like the sound of that."

Haylen felt the conversation ease off into silence once more and let herself focus more on listening to the things around her rather than listening to herself talk. The sun was breaking over the horizon at this point, spilling red and orange across the water as the waves crashed in on the nearby shoreline. The cool morning breeze blew in with a hint of salt and for now Haylen was enjoying it; of course later on when she would be cursing this moment as she struggled to wash the salt out of her hair.

For now though, she was content.

And it was the best feeling she had had in a long time now.

The muffled sound of something crackling close by broke the moment though and Haylen watched as Ghost fumbled around for her bag nearby- eventually having to sit up in order to reach it. The woman shuffled through the packed contents inside before she yanked free her buzzing radio.

"This is the Castle calling for the General, do you respond?"

"I got you loud and clear," Ghost spoke as she held the radio close to her. "We got a problem?"

"Not exactly ma'am, Sergeant Ronnie was just asking where you were at is all," the man on the other end spoke, sounding nervous enough with the words. "I told her I would put a call out and see if you responded."

Ghost chuckled lightly and covered the radio with her hand as she turned to Haylen. "In other words, Ronnie threatened to throw him off the castle wall," she spoke before she went back to the radio. "I'm out on a walk right now but I'm still in distance of the Castle if something happens. Let her know I'll be back soon enough- but until then, Preston's in charge and if she's got questions or orders to give than she can talk to him about them."

"Yes ma'am."

Haylen watched as Ghost tossed her radio aside before she laid back down. "Do you need to head back?" she asked.

"Nah, they can function without me well enough," Ghost assured. "Ronnie just likes to do roll call and if I'm not there to answer than she goes looking for me. She just wants to make sure I didn't ditch and run is all. Don't worry, she does actually trust me but I think past betrayals have left her a little too bitter to admit to it- which is no fault of hers. It's just that I like some peace and solitude from time to time and I'm not going to change that."

"And if there's a real emergency?" Haylen questioned.

"I can see the Castle from here and I can swim to it, they won't be without me for long," Ghost replied before she patted the blanket space next to her. "Now come, lie down with me. The air is cool and it's been a long morning already."

Haylen chuckled at the offer. "I'd much rather not get sand in my hair."

"Then lie thy head upon my breast," Ghost offered, gesturing to her chest with one hand before she moved it down to her stomach, "or upon my belly."

There was a laugh this time as Haylen figured the woman was joking before she decided to give Ghost the benefit of the doubt. "Alright," Haylen replied as she pushed her cup into the sand just the same before she moved to lie perpendicular to Ghost. Lying down on her back, Haylen carefully let her head rest on Ghost's stomach- smelling the scent of fresh salt water lingering still on her skin. "You're not planning on moving any time soon are you?"

"Nope," Ghost replied. "Why? Making yourself comfortable?"

"Thinking about it."