A/N : That Real Life thing can be pesky, can't it? Here's a short two parter of silliness to cheer you up if you're feeling serious. Oh and Guest who asked if 'Emergence' will be updated? No it won't, it's a completed one-shot, but if you want to see more of Ruth and Rachael Maximoff then feel free to send me a prompt!

It began with the toothpaste. Or more specifically, it began with Scott presenting himself at the door of the infirmary making frantic gestures with his hands, and Hank looking extremely confused until he had come closer and realised that the reason the boy was mumbling incoherent, panicky nonsense was that his lips had been stuck together. One good scrub with universal solvent later, Scott had been gasping and spitting to try to wash the acetone off his teeth, protesting that he knew absolutely nothing about why someone would have pulled such a dangerous prank. It was at that moment, whilst Scott was still picking superglue from his teeth, that a chorus of high-pitched screams and a muffled explosion rattled through the building.

Immediately both men charged up the stairs from the direction of the explosion, emerging onto the upstairs corridor where the girl's rooms were to be met with a scene of not destruction, but utter confusion and disgust. Several soaking wet students were crying, some were wringing their clothes out, others were merely stood against the walls looking shocked and bewildered.

"Jean!" Scott shouted, spotting his girlfriend and running over to her. He opened his arms to embrace her, surprised when she backed off a step and warded him off with her hands

"Don't!" she warned, backed off a little more, "the toilets exploded"

"So you're covered in –"

"Yes. Yes I am. We all are" she said, fury simmering in her voice, "Dr McCoy I don't suppose you happened to flush a wad of TNT today? Because I can't see any other way this could have happened"

Hank blinked at her, wrinkled his nose at the smell in the corridor, and shook his head rather stupidly at what was clearly a rhetorical question. Then he remembered he was supposed to be a teacher, and raised his voice to get the attention of the mewling students milling around like a pack of wet cats

"Everyone, go take a shower in the gym and put fresh clothes on. We'll get this fixed"

"Is that…?" Kitty trailed off, pointed outside to where the window was becoming steadily obscured by what looked like, and in fact definitely was, layers or toilet paper.

"Scott" Hank muttered, "Go get the Professor"

In a matter of minutes Charles, Scott, Hank and Erik were outside in the main drive, looking up at the proud Xavier family home, now almost entirely covered in toilet paper. Nobody had very much to say, trying out sentences before deciding that really, what could honestly be said. Eventually, Charles recovered enough to look up at his old friend and say in a low, deceptively calm tone

"Where is your son today, Erik?"

The Master of Magnetism looked affronted, took up an intimidating posture with his arms folded across his chest and glared back

"Not everything that happens here is my son's fault, you know!" he said, irritated

"Well then?"

"I… I have no idea. But you have no reason to blame him, Charles! Any of your little brats could have done this!"

At that exact moment, a strong wind whipped past the little group, and almost immediately the large, beautiful fountain in the front driveway began to froth. A smell of roses began to fill the air as piles of bubbles agitated by an unseen force built up and began to spill over the sides. Charles gave Erik a very meaningful look.

"Someone catch hold of him," Erik said, quiet despair colouring his tone.

The remainder of the afternoon was spent gathering all of the student body who were able enough to defend themselves, dividing them up into search parties, and dispatching them over the mansion and grounds in an attempt to hunt down the source of the problem. Scott and Jean stayed behind, guarding the one area of the house that they felt had the most potential to attract a little whirlwind of chaos – the kitchen. Sooner or later he would have to stop to eat, and in her present mood, Jean had absolutely no compunction about disabling all of Peter's higher brain functions in order to stop him. Scott, a little more reasonable, had mostly stayed with her in order to make sure that she didn't actually kill him.

Scott perched on one of the countertops, swinging his legs, watching Jean pace agitatedly

"I don't understand what's got into him, that's all" he said, "I mean sure, he's a pain, but all this? That's a little much even for Maximoff don't you think?"

"Maybe he's not as nice as you think?" Jean snapped back, "After all, look at his family"

"C'mon Jean, his Mom's great!"

"I wasn't talking about her and you know it" she said coldly. Resumed her pacing

"Maybe he's possessed?" Scott suggested, "Or been hypnotised, or something?"

"Maybe he's just a huge jerk and we should have seen this coming!"

Jean's head whipped round as there was a little scuffling noise from one of the cupboards. She nodded to Scott, who slipped quietly off the counter and grabbed a large rolling pin, joining her over by the cupboard door and on her count, flung the door wide. Jubilation screamed, covered her head, and tried to scramble further back into the cupboard.

"Jubilee?!" Jean asked in disbelief, "What the hell are you doing in there?!"

Shame-faced, Jubilation slowly pulled herself out of the cramped space, pulled down her skirt, held on to both elbows and studied her feet.

"You know what's going on, don't you?" Jean said, narrowed her eyes at the smaller girl, "What did you do? Did you put Peter up to this? Why?"

"No! I… It was an accident, I swear, I didn't mean to do anything! I just…"

"Whoah, Jean – back down will you? She's scared!" Scott told the redhead, laid a calming hand on her shoulder, "What happened Jubilee, what accident?"

"I've got this little pot of caffeine powder – y'know for study sessions? Last night I was studying late in the dining hall, 'cos it was quiet in there and I left it on the table and… when I got down there this morning, it was half empty" she explained, a high colour rising in her face as Scott realised the implications of what she was saying.

"It's just white powder" the girl said quietly, "It looks just like sugar"

"Are you saying that…" Jean began, aghast with horror at the thought, "he wouldn't have, surely?"

"Have you ever had breakfast with him, Jean?" Scott asked, "He pours sugar on cereal. Not sprinkles, pours. And he doesn't always look what he's doing"

"Oh no…" Jean said quietly, closed her eyes tight for a moment, shook her head, "You mean that -"

"We have a highly caffeinated speedster running amok, yes"

The redhead sighed, patted Jubilation kindly on the shoulder as if to tell her it wasn't her fault

"How long have you been hiding in there?"

"Since I found out my caffeine powder was gone," Jubilation sniffed, "I was scared I was gonna get in trouble"

"Oh wow, you have really missed some stuff then" Scott laughed kindly at her, "Jean? Can you call Hank down here? If this is drug-induced we'd better find out how long it's going to last"