It had gone like any of their usual encounters. It was the same comedy routine that the god of love-comedies had seemed to find so enjoyable to watch when it came to the two of them. The same dialogue strings, the same patterns, all of it.

He would be doing something. She would come over, acting coy for one reason or another. He would be himself. She would hide herself. And then eventually, he would draw her — the real her — out for a brief moment before she would retreat once more. That was how Hikigaya and Isshiki interacted with each other. It was pleasant enough, in its own way. It wasn't as though she didn't keep dragging him into student council-related affairs, the rest of the club in tow more often than not, but, you know. She was his responsibility, right?

That was how it went — and that was how it had been going on this day as well.

She'd wanted something and sought him out during lunch. He had been being himself. She had been sparkling. Really laying it on. He wanted to say he was building up an immunity to when she turned up her charm, but the truth was that Totsuka was practicing tennis not too far away, providing him with the perfect defense. Was Totsuka his savior or his hell, Hikigaya wondered...?

"Hey, are you even listening to me?" Ah. Savior, then? Praise Totsuka! Hail Totsuka! Glory to Totsuka! Preach it, Totsuka! "Hey, senpai, he~eeey... What have you been looking at this whole time anyway?"

Hikigaya wondered if this was going to go where he thought it was going to go.

"Don't tell me... You like athletic girls?"

It turned out it went where he thought it was going to go.

The fish eyed young man turned back to the girl that had been eager for his attention. Now she was the one looking in the direction of the tennis courts. That teasing expression was on her face, but he'd seen what happened when the girl behind that look was allowed to get the wrong idea — he'd taken advantage of it in the past after all.

"I was watching the guys. One of my classmates is over there, that's all." More than that, it'd be trouble for him if she got it in her head to join an athletic club or start working out on top of being the manager of the soccer club and the student council president. Why? Because it would be. If she pulled that sort of stunt, everything until now really would have been a mistake. "Don't worry about it. You're fine the way you are."

The god of love-comedies saw a chance.

"Wait, are you hitting on me? Sorry, even though I'd accept this second if you confessed to me, it's still definitely not ever happening."

They struck.

As if it had been another one of her normal comments, she added another insult or two for good measure, then went off about her business as if nothing had happened. Sure, it was because lunch had ended, but she didn't even tell him what she had come for in in the end!

Did... Did she even realize what she said?!

Had his Isshiki points somehow maxed when he wasn't paying attention? Certainly, if he thought about it, her comments during those moments had gotten increasingly positive since he'd started talking to her, but... Hold on a minute. Hadn't she come here first to get something out of him?

That's right. That's right. What was he doing? That kind of thinking... That was how a normal, hopeful high school student would think about his situation. He knew better. He understood the crafty ways of that girl.

Although when she spoke like that, it appeared as though she had broken out of her sparkling, bubbly facade to give a glimpse of her true self, it wouldn't be strange if, were she to want something from someone who already knew what she was like, she would take it a step further by creating a double facade and faking it, would it? Of course not — this underclassman of his was a crafty, foxy girl, and had to have something in mind if she had purposely spoken like that.

The question was, then, not whether or not she had slipped up on purpose. It was a given that she had slipped up on purpose. No, to call what she had done "slipping up" at all would be leaving room for doubt. Doubt leads to questioning it. Questioning it lead to possibilities. Possibilities lead to hope. Hope leads to texting a girl who will have forgotten those texts ever happened when you go to confess to her. Thus, to doubt his initial conclusion is already to fail. Source: Hikigaya.

So what was the question?

"What does she want to get out of telling me that...?" He considered it... and considered it... and considered it some more... and one thing and one thing only came to mind.

It was expected of him really.

"Hell if I know."

In the end, Hikigaya Hachiman spent the rest of the school day trying to wrap his mind around Isshiki Iroha — it was all he could do, lest he be ensnared any further.

Hikigaya Hachiman had failed miserably. He had not come up with an answer to his question, he had not managed to convince Isshiki to not go to the club room with the rest this afternoon, and now he was stuck with her and his two other clubmates while Isshiki continued to plot against him and while he blindly walked into some kind of trap of hers.

He couldn't even enjoy his tea like this!

Not that he really came here to enjoy tea, but maybe complaining to her about it like he did would get her to leave. Well, it would if she was a normal girl with a conscience, but if she were, this wouldn't be happening. Then again, if he could affect girls with consciences to begin with, would he even be here? And for that matter, it's not like the conscience is something that really exists, is it? At the very least he didn't have one of them. She didn't either, did she?

But she knew that about him. Didn't she? Isshiki's thick about some things, but she couldn't have some kind of misunderstanding about his core personality to the point she thinks someone like him feels guilt, right?

Unless... Was this what she wanted to gain? Was she trying to test his conscience? To see how far it goes?

Hikigaya felt a surge of confidence. If that was it, sorry, Isshiki, but he felt pretty confident that he would be the victor here! No matter how many cheap glances she kept shooting his way in this club room, he could rest assured that he had finally caught on to this scheme of hers.

... Unless...

"Hikki, are you okay?" Upon hearing his name from one of the other girls in the room — oh yeah, there had been other girls in here, huh — Hikigaya felt himself slapped back down to reality. "You've been acting weird all afternoon..."

"Weird? He has?" At her spot from the head of the table, Yukinoshita turned a page in her book without so much as looking up. From that action alone, Hikigaya had a feeling that... "Are you sure you just haven't opened your eyes to how he's been all along, Yuigahama-san?"

He knew it.

"Your eyes are just so clouded you can't distinguish a change." Hikigaya grumbled in response, making for his tea after shooting Yukinoshita a well earned glare. The snort Isshiki had given Yukinoshita's comment would go ignored for the time being. He wasn't about to fuel whatever she was scheming...

Wait, would not responding to her fuel it? If he was right, then he should ruthlessly go after her more than ever, right?

... But if... And this is just if... Only an if... Not really a doubt per se, not a possibility per se, no, just a hypothetical consideration of a tactic that the enemy commander might have in consideration...

If she was serious... Then to "ruthlessly go after" her...

... W-Well, he was still a high school guy too, but... No, sorry, no matter how cute she can be, even when she's being a conniving fox, there's no way he'd go for her.

...

'OhgodohnowhatdidhejustthinkTotsukasavemeIneedyoursmileforgivemeforIhavesinnedagainstthee.'

"Ever since lunch, he's been all..." Yuigahama was speaking in the background. He wasn't really listening. He heard the clatter of a chair. "There! Look! He's doing it again! Look at him right now!"

Of course that would get someone's attention, idiot!

Jumping to his feet, Hikigaya looked around his surroundings. Th-This was some kind of tactic, wasn't it? Was he being set up? Were the two of them in on Isshiki's scheme? Yukinoshita alone, maybe? Damn it, this was so frustrating!

"What? What am I doing?!" Leveling a glare at Yukinoshita, at Yuigahama, at (the space around) Ishikki('s vicinity), Hikigaya was fairly certain he wasn't doing anything unusual for himself. "If you're gonna say I'm doing something, say what I'm doing, would you?"

Good. Now all three of them were looking at him like they normally did. That was all he could have ever asked for, short of them leaving him alone. Not that "normal" between them was particularly positive, but it was something he could deal with and manage. Between Yuigahama a minute ago and Isshiki, this was a disaster.

So did that mean... Yuigahama was the accomplice? But what was there to gain here...?

"Yuigahama-san, could you go into detail?"

For better or for worse, trust Yukinoshita to get things back on tra-

"Because I see the same dead eyed zombie that always threatens to infect the rest of us with his presence."

Yeah... Yeah, for better or for worse... Definitely...

Sitting back down and slumping in his seat, Hikigaya made for his tea again. At least he could strategize a little more once he heard just what Yuigahama had to say about this — if it meant just acting a little more than normal, that would be easy enough for someone as amazing at acting as him.

"Well, like, in class, you know how Hikki pretends to be distracted when he's actually paying attention to everybody?" Putting a finger to her chin thoughtfully, Yuigahama leaned back. It was easy to tell she was thinking back to the different times she'd seen him do this... Mostly because he had caught her looking over on more than one occasion. She wasn't nearly as good at being subtle as she thought she was.

But it wasn't like he had any room to talk if she could criticize him about this, could he?

"U~waaaah, senpai, that's scary!" Isshiki had a hand over her mouth, masking her shock — as if this shocked her! her! — while she looked on in faux-disgust.

"What's scary is that someone out there probably believes the things that come out of your mouth..." Hikigaya shook his head, proud of himself for being unfazed by the look she gave him in response. Yes, that was how it was supposed to go. He was regaining the upper hand — a natural thing for the upperclassman!

Ignoring the exchange between the girl and the bug, Yukinoshita crossed her arms and simply turned to Yuigahama. She wanted to hear what her fr...friend had to say about all of this.

"Indeed, I'm certainly aware Hikillgaya will probably end up in prison because of his expression someday." Her lips twitched, threatening to smile, at the thought of Hikigaya in stripes or an orange jumpsuit. Even the underclassman was looking at her like she'd crossed a line with that one — and naturally, Yuigahama was falling over her words in response to the ease of which Yukinoshita's had left her lips.

But there was still one person in the room.

Surveying the trio of girls, Hikigaya found himself gifted with a surprising ego boost. He'd heard once that sometimes animals get particularly boastful in front of prospective mates. Clearly the same also applied when standing before those who would never be prospective mates in a million years. That, or it was just his usual habits rearing their head again? Didn't matter.

"Don't worry, when I go to prison it's because I'll be visiting you out of pity." A friendly sneer on his face, Hikigaya leaned back in his seat and propped his legs up on the ground, looking relaxed as can be. "With your tongue, someone's going to charge you for something horrible down the line — maybe they'll even do something horrible because your honesty would have torn them down so much."

The girls seemed largely unfazed. Isshiki looked at him with a mix of pity and disgust...

"Hey, senpai, can you pick an insult that isn't so disgusting next time? You almost looked pretty cool if you hadn't made me throw up in my mouth a little just now."

... and Yukinoshita and Yuigahama continued on as if nothing had been said.

"So? What was different about him today?"

"It was like... Um..."

He was right here, you know!

"What? You aren't going to say anything?" Normally he wasn't one to push this far, but obviously Yukinoshita was ignoring him because that retort of his had gotten him some points. The other two didn't matter as much, but as for her, surely the lack of a comeback implied-

"If it's my honesty that sends me to prison, then by that logic, I would have been being honest when I said you're ending up there someday."

...

Hikigaya clicked his tongue and turned away, downing a long gulp of his tea.

She had him. She seriously had him! She'd had him from the moment he opened his mouth!

"There there, senpai, I'll remember you when I wash down the taste of what comes up when I remember this moment." Only Isshiki seemed to be willing to acknowledge him after his crushing failure. He wasn't sure if he was happy about that or not... given how she was doing it — harsh even by her standards — he was deciding to settle on not.

"Hey hey, can you not turn into another Yukinoshita? Even with your faking it, you've still got a bright and sunny school life ahead of you." Hikigaya shook his head — he was being ignored by the other girls, but that was fine. "Don't give it up by pretending to be like her. And you want to be popular, right? This isn't where you want to look for inspiration at all."

"I see, I see..."

Like a dutiful student taking notes, Isshiki nodded solemnly.

And then.

"So this really isn't flirting... Wow, what a relief..."

A pin drop would sound like an explosion following Isshiki's sparkling words. For some reason, it also immediately brought Yuigahama and Yukinoshita's focus back to Hikigaya and Isshiki's side of the table. Even though Hikigaya was looking at Isshiki, it was very, very obvious they had observers all of a sudden.

"A-Ahem! Hikki! Come over- No, I'll do it, you sit!"

"Y-Yes, Yuigahama-san, you were going to demonstrate what was wrong with Hikigaya earlier this afternoon?"

The sounds of moving chairs shook the walls of the normally quiet room. Before Hikigaya knew it, Yuigahama was well past the boundaries of his personal bubble. Was this heaven or hell? And where would he be sent for thinking such a cliche?

Ignoring his internal struggle, Yuigana pushed closer and closer and gave the young man in question a look, squinting at him. She leaned forward. She pushed forward. She was almost touching him!

What was this? Huh? She didn't need to get this close to describe him, did she? It was practically like she was trying to lay claims to territory or something! What was this, a fight over a gopher? He thought he'd finally escaped that life...

...

As if. He'd been being a gopher for the past few months, hadn't he?

Shooting a glance to Yukinoshita, he found himself quickly filled with regret. She was not going to be his ally here — wait, she was never his ally. That only left Isshiki. If he had to be in her debt, whatever, but he needed an out... Why does she look so pleased with herself? What gives? Help a guy out!

"Hikki..."

Ah.

That's not a good tone.

Hikigaya finally turned his gaze back to the girl that was practically on top of him. Most young men would have been all over this situation, but he was well trained. He knew better than to get pulled into a sweet smelling, soft situation like this.

Which is why even if she stays, he would not falter.

...

That was supposed to be where she got the hint and moved, though.

...

Hey, you know, that's dangerous? Some guys might fall for you if you look at them like that — or they might die! They might die because you're looking at them like you're looking for the cracks so that you can rip their hearts out and watch as they fall apart before your eyes. Why do girls get to be capable of such things anyway?

At long last, Yuigahama sighed in dismay and pulled her chair away, back towards where Yukinoshita was sitting. Hikigaya couldn't help but let out his own relieved sigh once he had his personal bubble back in place.

"It was a little like that..." It was almost like there was a hidden meaning to it this time. Why were she and Yukinoshita looking at each other so intently now? "It was like he was distracted from pretending to be distracted...? Yeah, yeah it was like that! Exactly like that."

"How could you tell?" Yukinoshita seemed nonplussed, though Hikigaya and Isshiki both couldn't help but be curious as to Yuigahama's reasoning for this one.

"When I said hello to him, he replied to me with a greeting like he hadn't known I was coming already." Oh yeah, something did happen like that earlier... Why does she sound so happy about it, though? Isn't it bad to be caught off guard? "It was actually pretty nice!"

The room's other three occupants were silent.

The sound of Yukinoshita's chair screeching on the floor, somehow moving even further away from Hikigaya, finally broke the tension.

"Hikigaya, you should be ashamed to breathe the same air as Yuigahama-san during the school day. Apologize to her on behalf of humanity."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry to humanity that I was born. Can we let this subject drop? I've just..."

To Hikigaya's credit, he managed not to look in the direction of the person that had caused this this time.

To Hikigaya's dismay, he still couldn't stop himself from recalling her words from their lunch break.

"I've just been feeling under the weather today. It caught up with me this afternoon. I'll go home and rest and I'll be fine tomorrow. So drop it. I'm already perking up a little thanks to you guys forcing me to be on my toes so my good name isn't ruined right in front of me."

There. He'd now given a reason. There was an excuse on the table. A way out of this conversation, this ridiculous back and forth that was starting to drag on too long as it were. If they kept pushing, they would eventually be in the wrong for either not trusting him or for pushing a subject he didn't want to talk about. This was going well beyond their normal routine.

He had indeed been off, but he was feeling back on his game already thanks to this. Isshiki wouldn't get him no matter what she threw at him and that would be that. He had years of experience at this. He was amazing, you know? It might not even be something worth thinking about in the end.

"... Ah..." Yuigahama glanced away. She didn't seem quite convinced, but she wasn't one to deny someone rest in this situation. "Mmm... Well, you do sound a little better now..."

"Y-Yeah. So I'm gonna go now and that'll be that." With a screech of his chair, he gave the other girls a once over. Things had been weird since this afternoon. Maybe this was Isshiki's plan? Get in his head and make him think she was plotting something, then do nothing about it after all? ... No, that would be too clever, even for her... For him, it was easy enough, but would that kind of plan even work on someone other than the kind of people who looked between the lines like him?

Just what was her game? Had she come to the club room just to get these two involved? He couldn't figure it-

"You're doing it again."

"He's doing it again."

"Ah. Now I threw up."

"Y-Yukinon, no you didn't...! Be nice!"

A scowl settling on his face, Hikigaya settled on getting out of there before this got any worse. He wouldn't be able to get any thinking done like this anyway.

With a "Later." on the way out, for the first time in weeks, months actually, he was leaving school at a relatively normal time without any reason other than he wanted to get away from the club room. Maybe he should do something to celebrate the occasion?

...

That's when it hits people like him, when a person never has personal accomplishments like this to celebrate, they don't actually know what to do when they're in the moment it happens. Letting out a groan as he turned the corner to the stairs, he wondered if he should just go home and sleep and forget the day ever happened.

Yeah. Sleep sounded good. Maybe he'd give Komachi a good scare. She wouldn't be expecting him yet.

"Senpai, if you're sick, you should go to the nurse!"

"Gah!"

Speaking of unexpected visitors.

"The only one sick is you." He turned to the girl that had appeared at his side and glared — which is to say he just turned and looked at her. "So what gives? Why'd you follow me?"

Isshiki simply waved her hand dismissively.

"Awwww! Senpai, if you ask questions like that, you'll never get a girlfriend!" Puffing her cheeks out in mock-frustration, the girl crossed her arms in mock-pout. Mock everything. "I almost feel bad for you... But I know you'll be okay, because you're senpai!"

Geh. She doesn't mean a word of it!

"Yeah, yeah..." Did he look like he was looking for a girlfriend to start off? ... N-Not that he would mind, you know, but seriously, he knows what happens to guys like him who try. They don't come back alive.

Although...

A thought crossed his mind as the two fell into silence and continued down the stairs. After how much time they'd spent with each other putting that Christmas event together, just the two of them, this kind of thing felt pretty natural to him. The thought was still stray and rogue, and rather unlike him... under normal circumstances, anyway. Lately though, in his search for something "real," such thoughts might not have been as rare.

The thought?

Why not just come out and ask?

Worst case scenario, she'd just lie or something. Unlike those two in the club room, he actually could handle her type pretty well. So long as she didn't seriously try to "seduce" him, like she had that time when they'd been talking about Hayama, they'd be fine. And seeing as that would never happen...

He shot a glance at her.

Shit! Of course he'd picked the exact moment she had happened to look at him! Averting his eyes, he stuffed his hands into his pockets.

"Hey... I didn't get a chance to ask earlier, what did you want this afternoon?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the reaction in her instantly. Back stiffened, even while they were walking. Her expression shifted quite a bit too. Was that alarm, perhaps? Couldn't be.

"Oh... You... You remember that?" She swallowed. Audibly. She stopped walking, with the obvious implication that he was supposed to stop too.

Look at her. He wasn't going to fall for this!

... Okay fine he was going to stop walking but that was all. Seriously.

"Look, I don't know what you remember, but I..." Isshiki took a deep breath. She placed a hand on her chest, then nodded to herself. "I need you to know something, okay?!"

Hmmm. Maybe he'd been overthinking this... He'd have to deal with the consequences of that admission down the road when he got to them, but she really did seem flustered and angry right now.

"Senpai! Look at me!"

Damn it... Hikigaya couldn't meet her gaze. He found, against his will, heat rising to his cheeks.

"F-Fine, fine... You don't have to make sure a fuss about it..."

He looked her in the eye.

The expression of a girl wasn't like the usual ones... he was pretty sure, anyway. It wasn't like he was an expert at looking at girls dead on or anything, but he'd spent enough time with this one at least to catch on.

It was almost like that night with Haya-

"So, about that thing I wanted?"

The fox grinned mischievously, looping her arm with his, all traces of her previous expression gone as she watched in delight while his cheeks burned under her gaze.

"Don't worry about it."

It was at that second, face hot and eyes unsure of where to look, all too aware of what he could feel with his arm, that Hikigaya Hachiman realized too late that his personal bubble had just popped for the last time. It was never to return.

"It looks like I got it already."