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Chapter 7: It was always Sam

Sam's Pov

Carly got off the couch and turned the movie off "Oh well now that's over I'm off to bed."

"Wait a minute Shay sit back down." She wasn't getting away with this this easily.

"What Sam? You can stay on the couch if you want I don't mind."

"I want to know why you are acting so weird."

"I have no idea what you are talking about Sam"

"Ok I'll rephrase the question, how are you and Cameron?" hopefully that will get it out of her she normally loves talking about her boyfriends.

"Good." Wait that's it, she went to move upstairs and I was still in a little shock so she managed to get half way up the stairs before I reacted. I ran after her, I am getting answers. "Just good? I'm giving you permission to talk girl with me and you say good?"

"I don't know what else to say other than good. It is good. End of story." By the time she said this we had reached her room.

"OK why was I getting crushed into the side of the couch when we were watching the movie this evening?"

"What do you mean?"

"You kept moving closer to the dork," my boyfriend you slut "and he kept crushing me into the arm"

"That's not my fault he just kept moving away from me not my problem" She looked down when she said this, now this really got my back up. For starters why would she care, she doesn't like Freddie and she has her OWN boyfriend, she just always has to have what I have even if she doesn't know it!

"Carly you kept moving to him though I just want to know why!" I was started to get frustrated! "What you all of a sudden got feelings for the nub now?" I say laughing but really crying inside if she says yes…"I don't know ok!"

"WHAT!" oh dam that was loud.

"shhhhh… Look it's ever since I started dating Cameron he seems different, I mean he doesn't seem to look at me as much or want to spend his time with me, or normally when I would get a boyfriend he would get jealous but he just seems off with me." Oh my gosh! She misses the attention, she is literally using Freddie for her gain and a confidence boost on her big ass ego. "I have never been so disappointed in you!" oh I just said that out loud. Uh oh. I'm now going to leave. I make my way out the door, to be fair I didn't want to talk to her anymore I am so mad, not only is she making googly eyes at MY boyfriend but she just wants to use him as her play toy. What kind of friend does that to someone it's absolutely wrong!

"Sam wait up… Sam! Sam!"

"What?!"

"Can we talk about this please" She is now looking sad and is doing her sad puppy face, dam that girl. "Fine what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Look I know it sounds wrong, but I got so used to his constant attention that when it stopped I just missed it. Like I don't think I have actual feelings for him which I guess makes this situation worse, but I just don't understand why he has just stopped loving me, least I always knew if it didn't work out with someone I always had Freddie."

I can't believe what she is saying right now. "So you really expected him just to sit around like some pathetic loser waiting for a chance with you? How up yourself do you have to be to expect someone to actually do that, do you not think Freddie has some self-respect? He might actually love someone else and finally got over you?" Oh …what did I just say she is going to pick up on that isn't she?

"Love someone else? What why would he love someone else he has always said he will love me forever? You don't fall out of love with someone just like that"

"Well maybe he never Loved YOU in the first place!" I just keep making this worse don't I!

"What do you know something I don't Sam?" Run run run! I turned around and kept walking out of her apartment, but I didn't get to far until she caught me, "Sam answer the question."

"I don't know anything maybe you could ask Freddie. Treat him right for once and not use him in one of your games."

"Why are you defending him so much, you have done a lot worse to him. You are just insulting me it's not like you are perfect."

"I may have not been the nicest to him I would admit that, but I would never use someone like that. Being in love with someone who doesn't love you back is the most painful experience ever and for them to use you because of that is worse than any punch any day." I could feel tears fill my eyes, I'm hitting feelings I haven't thought about in years, my dad, Freddie, my sister … my mum. I turned again and kept walking I needed Freddie right now and I don't care if that means she finds out.

"Sam, wait."

"What Carly haven't you said enough?"

"Look I wasn't trying to hurt anyone I just …"

"You just liked the attention."

"Don't make me feel worse than I already do."

"But do you feel bad? If Freddie said to you that he didn't love you and he loved someone else and had moved on would you be ok with it? Would you leave his poor heart alone and move on?"

"Yes."

"Ok let's test this shall we?" I walked out her door and knocked on Freddie's door. "Freddie it's me. I need you to sort something real quick for me."

"Ok Sam be right there." He yelled from behind the door, quickly coming to answer it. He opened it noticing my tears in my eyes first and reached out to grab my hand but stopped when he noticed Carly behind me. "Hi Freddie." She said sweetly oh girl give it a rest. "Hi guys do you want to come in?" We walked into his plastic wrapped living room. "Freddie we have to clear something up for Miss Shay here."

"Miss Shay? Ok what's up?" he looked confused I wasn't acting myself so I can see why. I was about to reply when Carly spoke, she probably didn't trust I would put her in the best light and she was probably right. "Look Sam has a crazy idea in her head I think she has finally lost it, sorry for disturbing you Freddie, see you tomorrow?"

"No! Sam hasn't lost it she genially looks upset, let her talk."

"What is with you two at the moment you're being nice to each other."

I decided to ignore that, that wasn't the task at hand. "We are here to ask you something. Are you still in love with Carly?" I looked at him trying to convey that I wanted him to be honest right now. No more secrets, I am done. I am exhausted, it's about time she comes off her throne of thinking everyone loves her the most. I have never been so angry and disappointed with her. She acts all sweet and innocent, that is friends to all but then she turns around and treats Freddie like dirt. "Um Ok, random question but no I don't love Carly. I got over that a while ago, when I found out what real love was. It was just a small boy crush of someone that was hiding something he truly felt." When he said that I was trying to hide a smile on my face, I knew I could trust him.

"Oh. But what about all that you wanted to marry me one day and all the compliments and atten... I mean how do you just stop?" Carly said looking really confused and deflated, I guess it's time to be honest. She may just get as mad at us as she is with me right now but it's about time we were all honest with each other. I looked at Freddie he gave me a small smile and a nod, telling me to go ahead with what I am about to do, oh my goodness my heart is pounding this could go really bad. I walked to stand next to Freddie. "It is really easy to figure out what your heart is saying when something happens that makes you look at what really is going on." I grabbed Freddie's hand. "When you realise the person you have always loved since you were a kid loved you back you can stop pretending and let your heart feel what it always has."

Carly just stood there shocked, hurt, confused every kind of emotion you could think of trying to process what was going on right now. I was starting to feel guilt for not telling her sooner but also regret that maybe we should have just stayed in our bubble longer.

"How long." Carly said she said it so quietly it was almost like she didn't say it.

"How long what? How long we have loved each other or how long we have been together?" I said, I mean they are two different things and I wanted to know what she meant.

"Both, either I don't care I just want answers!" She yelled. Ok I know I have been lying to her for over a month but like I am still made at her for using Freddie so like back down girl. I was about to answer but Freddie stepped in to take some of the heat.

"Carly. Look I'm sorry we lied to you. I am also sorry that I have acted like I have been in love with you for all these years, but the truth is," He took a breath, like he was about to spill his entire heart, I squeezed his hand to comfort him. "I met Sam 11 years ago, when we were about 7 in a park and we immediately bonded and became best friends, but then I moved. I begged my mum to move back and when we finally did she had met you, and maybe it was a jealous thing but I thought well she probably doesn't remember me and then I met you and got this school boy crush on how nice you were to me and because Sam acted the way she did for her own reasons it kind of fuelled that, and when she was mean I was like well I can't like her I must like this person because she is so nice to me. But when you and Sam had that whole Cameron thing I saw how much if affect Sam that my heart kind of took over and, here we are. I don't want to hurt you but I love Sam I really do."

I was a little in shock that he said all that, that really means he meant everything he has been telling me this last month, I think I'm just falling in love with him even more. "It's true Carls. And I feel the same way for probably just as long."

Carly didn't say anything for a while, she sat down on Freddie's couch, I guess trying to make sense of what she has just heard. "But how? You have always acted like you hated each other?"

"I guess Freddie was just retaliating to me because I was treating him bad because that's how I deal with being hurt by people, and when in the time between meeting Freddie and meeting you my dad left me and I just learnt to protect myself so when he was pinning after you just all those feelings came back from my dad and Freddie rejecting me as my dad did." This time it was Freddie comforting me he squeezed my hand and gave me a reassuring smile. Carly continued to sit there, still not understanding. "So Freddie, you never loved me?" Wait is that really the response she is going with, with what I just said. Freddie looking as weirded out as me "umm..No? Is that really a problem? I mean you never felt that way anyway so wont it just be a wait off your shoulders?"

"Yeah right. Um…Look guys this is a lot to take in I'm gunna sleep on it and I'll talk to you in the morning" And with that she left.

"Oh. I wasn't expecting that reaction" Freddie said looking back at me, but his face quickly changed when he saw the red anger on my face. I can't believe that girl, that so called best friend cares that little, the only thing she could think of to say is that really! Really! "Sam? You ok?"

And I burst! "NO! I am not OK! What cheek does that girl have! I know we have being keeping this from her for a while which may not have been the correct thing to do but that is the answer she gives. I have never told her about my dad I always just blaze over the questions, you are the only person who knew what happened. But for her not to care about that and just go back to herself satisfactory need for people to hero worship her! Ugh, do you wanna know why we ended up here? Well I'm gunna tell you, you know she was acting funny with you all evening? It's because she wanted a reaction out of you! She WANTED you to complement her, give her attention tell her you LOVED her! Get Jealous over Cameron! She wanted it she needed for own self gain because she is so up herself it's unreal! Who does that that to someone uses them with something as precious as love how tell me Freddie HOW!" and with that I crumpled to the floor in a ball of tears. I don't even know what I'm upset about anymore, I'm just so confused. The pain from my dad leaving and pretending to love me for the first 7 years of my life and then leaving me, not knowing how Freddie felt all these years and thinking he rejected me and found someone new. How it looks like after all these years Carly doesn't really care about me. I just felt physically and emotionally broken and I didn't know how to put myself back together again. Freddie bent down next to me and wrapped his arms around me rocking me to try and calm me down, as I was hyperventilating.

"Shhhh… I love you Sam so much. Just always remember that. Please." He said I could hear his voice crack a little. I really didn't expect this night to end up like this.

Uh oh Carly done messed up - Sorry if you don't like Carly becoming a b*** but I always thought in the show she used Freddie for her gain which is where this came from

Stay tuned to see if Carly and Sam will be ok

Bye xx