Yoru

SailorStarDust1

May/July 2016

A/N: My fic title, Yoru (meaning "Night" in Japanese), is a Maaya Sakamoto song from her album Shounen Alice. TPP made me think that's how Kaz still felt about BB, before the Truth revelations bitterness/anger set in. I think it works beautifully for their feelings (at least Kaz towards BB?) during Peace Walker. I had this story idea in my head since May, but, life. Sigh. There are a few references to the PW drama CD in this one, but nothing story-breaking.

As usual, any proofreading errors are my own.

A "Thanks for your collab help" gift to my AO3 buddy PearBear!

Strange to think how a tiny ripple effect caused dramatic changes for Militaires Sans Frontières in the span of one stormy evening. A ripple effect that altered what could have been a catastrophe. Snake made a point to go ahead with the retrieval mission at Camp Omega—for Paz and Chico, extracting any prisoners along the way—during MSF's nuclear inspection.

However, Kaz contacted Snake (who was in the midst of sneaking under a building, doing a visual sweep of the area), commenting that Huey seemed jumpy all day. He made a point to go double-check on the scientist, but reaching the man's office that evening…He and his scant belongings were gone.

If the inspection was already something of red flag, Huey's mysterious up and leaving truly caused the metaphorical alarm bells to sound. Miller took it upon himself to put all of MSF on high alert—Good thing too, when life boats were stupidly somehow overlooked in case of an emergency.

And an emergency did arrive—possibly around 0300 hours, but few kept track of the exact time at that point—that March 16th morning in '75. Mother Base went under attack, the supposed "inspection" nothing but a smokescreen.

Thankfully, they were prepared. Yet of the 300 men and women MSF had slowly recruited since '72, some 50 were killed, the rest receiving various degrees of injuries.

Despite the battle being won with such heavy casualties, who knew what this would mean for the war?

"XOF" was the name an enemy combatant had yelled, moments before a soldier's bullet hit his brain.

Whatever they were, and whoever was behind them—Zero's revenge for Paz's screw up, perhaps?—they would pay. Tracking that weasel Huey especially would come, in due time.

Remembrance ceremonies and casting the fallen to sea once the dust settled was swiftly executed, yet heartfelt. Their sacrifices and service wouldn't be forgotten.

Kaz ducking out immediately afterward, the staff not on duty quietly conversing amongst themselves, caused Snake concern. He was about to follow the blonde to their room—

"Sir!"

Big Boss turned to Mosquito's saluting form. He stood alongside Viper, Armadillo, and Swan, their deep respect for the legendary mercenary unwavering.

Boss's soldiers acting proper now of all times just felt especially…awkward. The brunette scratched at his beard, caught off-guard. What could he say that wasn't spoken already?

"At ease." He waved a tired hand towards his visibly relaxing men and women. A little surprising to see Armadillo and Swan were still a couple, despite Kaz's…prior interference.

"Boss, if you need any support for getting back at those—"

"We'll get through this, Armadillo, but for now everyone needs rest." Hm. Too curt in his reply, yet it couldn't be helped.

"Your speech during the ceremony, Boss, it was truly touching. Thank you."

Snake grunted a little, subconsciously reaching for her—What the hell? He was supposed to have forgotten about her by now. Move on with his life towards MSF's future, not cling to a fractured past. Sighing, Jack crossed his arms. "I'd rather not lose anyone else, Viper."

"Boss, I was notified you have an on-hold call…"

"I'll patch it to the mess hall, Swan. I need some grub, anyway." He offered her a weak smile, pocketing himself for a cigar. "All of you, get some sleep."

"Thank you, Boss!"

Four voices shouted in unison as the small congregation dispersed, Snake making his way for the Mess. Who the hell would be contacting him? How…?

Cigar smoke exhaling as he trudged along, Snake's bleary eye practically burning from the seeped in exhaustion. Rest… Rest… His warm and comfy bed, Kaz either by his side, or one bed over… That sounded damn good right about now.

Tiredly stumbling into the mess's kitchen, cigar already stubbed out, John hastily warmed up some instant ramen. Naturally, pork flavored. Whoever was on hold could certainly wait a few more minutes. Snake's growling stomach came first.

The cafeteria proper had a few staff sitting around, quietly chatting with cups of coffee or late dinners. Some napped against the long lunch tables—Probably resting in between their shifts.

Snake allowed a tiny smile while glancing at the men and women—those awake politely waved upon noticing him. He waved back, munching on a ramen noodle, then turned to lean against the wall. Grabbing the phone with his free hand, he pushed a button to transfer the call over, hungrily slurping warm broth.

"John?! Thank God you're safe."

Snake nearly spat out the soup in surprise. "Oce—Adam?" Hearing from his best friend out of the blue was certainly surreal. After the unfortunate (but not really, in Big Boss's mind) split from The Patriots, Ocelot kept in occasional touch, but was generally busy with the GRU in Russia. Naturally, the younger man would back-and-forth with Zero, but Jack...didn't want to hear a word about that.

"I'm fine." A beat. It didn't hurt to ask when MSF's lines were supposed to be secure: "How the hell did you get this number?"

"The man you're naturally suspecting...Tonight wasn't his doing. Paz was meant to be a…friendly…way to bring you back. Using ZEKE was their last-ditch effort."

Jack's grip around the phone tightened, knuckles white, lips in a tight line. "Really now."

Adam receiving his Intel from Zero directly, who was in touch for however many months with Kaz…Big Boss tried to ignore the pit in his stomach, the heat swelling within his chest.

"…You still there?"

Snake was angrily jabbing some noodles with a fork, mouth full of the stuff during his response: "Yeah?"

Ocelot cleared his throat. "I grew a mustache in the past three years. And I'm already starting to go gray." He sighed dramatically, hoping the obvious attempt at levity would relax the man he'd always love.

A few heads turned towards him as Big Boss laughed despite himself. He paid them no mind, engrossed. Adam could make any line of discussion interesting. "I'm sure you're charming as always, Junior."

It was Ocelot's turn to chuckle. "There's somebody here that wants to say hello. Hang on."

"Huh?"

Muffled voices as the phone apparently switched hands. An all-too familiar feminine voice, clearly anxious: "It's been awhile, Snake."

"Eva…Haven't 'heard' from you since those tapes you sent my way."

Jack's bitterly forgotten 'Mercury Lady'. The truth of all that bullshit she endured. No. He refused to go out her way.

Eva sighed, sounding tired, twirling the phone cord around her fingers. "From what Ocelot and Zero have mentioned, you're plenty busy. I've had to lay low for awhile."

That immediately got his guard up. His nostrils flared. "Somebody after you?"

"Oh, nothing like that." Light laughter. Had she been standing in front of her beloved, the woman would've winked. "The spy game is just a bit of a drain. That's all."

John let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. All these years, and Eva still found ways to make him worry.

"Snake, about the childre—"

And that hot-button issue was certainly one of them. "I. Don't Care." Nope. They weren't having this line of discussion. Not in semi-public, not on his watch. He hated to pull the asshole card around her, but, it was for the best if the "sons" led their own lives. Preferably as far away from Snake as possible.

Biting her lip, Eva already knew it was a losing battle. Their sons…It was something Big Boss would have to accept—or continue to ignore—on his own time. A pity, that.

"So. Seeing anyone~?" Teasing was worth a shot. An attempt at lightening the mood after such a dreary night on Snake's end.

His cheeks flushed briefly. What was with these two?! "Maybe." Voice now husky, sleep deprivation contributing to his own playful attitude. "You lookin' to join?"

Eva laughed in response, before a rather distinct gunshot was fired. Her scowling voice, in harsh tones. "Adam! That was a perfectly good vase you just—"

Snake heard an irritated reply from Ocelot, but couldn't make out the conversation. Confusion setting in, the man merely offered: "Maybe I should let you two go."

Adam's voice rang on the other line—amidst Eva cheerfully offering a "Good night, Snake. Sleep well." He settled into a Texan drawl. "Don't worry, John. Just lettin' off some steam."

More confusion as Snake blinked. "What about?" He couldn't be too surprised. Ocelot was always something of a strange cat. Shooting an expensive vase? But if it was one of Zero's belongings, then hell, good riddance.

Momentary silence. Despite John being dense as hell, it really wasn't the time to bring up that. "It's nothing. You need your rest, so…Have a good one."

Both Adam and Eva knew it was wise to not mention how Zero himself was sitting nearby, at his office desk. Staring into the unseen distance, fingers steepled against his face, lost in thought. Deadly silent. His own suspicions of Jack's attacker were nearly confirmed. Yet where to go from here…? The British gentleman hadn't a clue.

Snake tossed his now empty ramen container into the trash, chucking his fork in the sink. "Yeah. I'll keep in touch with you both. Good night."

Hanging up, Snake briskly left the mess, heading straight for his room. It had certainly been too long since hearing from Adam or Eva. Thankfully they sounded well, despite the apparent company they still kept. Goddammit, Zero.

It didn't have to be this way.

Interesting phone call aside, he'd begin processing MSF's next plan of action sometime tomorrow.

Slowly opening the door to their room, Snake's weary expression softened. Kaz was laying atop his own bed, head buried against the pillow, fists clenched around the soft material. His sunglasses were neatly folded on his nightstand, clothes folded with equal care at the foot of his bed. Thankfully, Kaz had the decency to leave his underwear on, Snake knowing all too-well how rambunctious the man could become in happier (usually drunken) moments.

He'd never seen his sub-commander so visibly broken. "Kaz—", he offered from the door frame, before a hand gently clamped on Big Boss's shoulder.

Big Boss turned with a frown, automatic reflex of battle instincts immediately cooled. Oh. It was only him. He seemed pensive while Snake did his best to offer the slightly older man a reassuring smile.

"How is she?" Paz. For all of Snake's mixed feelings towards the twenty-five year old, he certainly didn't want her to…

"She's been stable ever since our return flight." He politely stifled a yawn in front of the man he'd always respect.

What their enemy did to Paz's body in the process of placing both bombs, removing various internal organs…What monsters were they dealing with? "It's a waiting game until morning."

Noticing the man in the room behind Boss, he frowned. "Sub-commander, are you…?"

Miller muttered something under his breath, nasty choice words toward the blonde spy. His glaring eyes met both men. Kaz knew damn well he himself was partially to blame for this entire mess. From the start, Kaz was very aware of who Paz worked for, secretly being in on Zero's business deals for his, MSF's, own gain. For his and Snake's future.

Hell, Snake refused to speak to Kaz for three full days after Kaz's little confession, after the fallout of Snake's battle with ZEKE. With Paz. Although, Snake was busy enough ensuring the security of their new-found nuke, and heading out on various missions, that…

Whatever. What difference did it make, anymore?

"I'll be fine with some rest. Just return to your post." That was all the blonde man tiredly spat out, returning to his original spot of sulking, essentially naked, on the bed. Certainly a smart choice for the Costa Rica weather, at the very least.

Boss rolled his eye at Kaz undermining his authority like that, but stayed silent.

"Actually, sir, my shift ended. I'm about to call it a night and check on her first thing tomorrow."

"You go do that." Was the muffled, bitter, reply of the man some fourteen years the medic's junior, his usually upbeat voice devoid of…much of anything.

Soft mewling interrupted the discussion. Snake and his medic blinked, noticing a black kitten rubbing against their legs.

Big Boss bent down to pick the happy kitten up, the surgeon managing a smile while scratching the purring cat's chin.

"Paz's cat...Nuke must've been worried about her the entire time." Snake smiled lightly as Nuke began licking the man's nose.

"I'm sorry, Boss. I thought for sure we evacuated him with the civilians."

"Don't stress over it. Shit happens." John let Nuke get in a few more nuzzles before lightly depositing him into his combat medic's arms. From the corner of his good eye, Kaz visibly tensing at the mention of civilians didn't go unnoticed.

"You two try to have a good night, hm?" Boss patted his friend's shoulder, offering a reassuring squeeze.

A nod while Nuke squirmed against his arms, eyeing a bug. He couldn't help but smile warmly at his boss.

Regardless of the outcome and incredibly tense night… He and the med team were doing what they could, Chico was safely en route to Amanda thanks to Morpho, and the demons behind this mess would get theirs.

Blood for blood. If the situation called for it, supposing their usual infiltration methods failed.

"Please, Boss. Get some sleep." He pleaded, not looking forward to hearing Miller complain with worry if—Heaven forbid—Snake fell asleep in the midst of field deployment. The dark circles that never let up under Snake's eyes was constant cause for concern, he had to stop pushing himself sooner than later. All-nighter missions or busy (boring) paperwork being the cause was irrelevant. And coffee or cigars certainly weren't a good solution.

"Yeah, we will. Good night." Snake weakly smiled. It'd probably be another sleepless night, finally entering his room, locking the door behind him.

We, huh? Snake's medic just sighed, deeply, in defeat over the Boss's health while setting Nuke down. Having an inkling about their relationship was something he kept to himself. Their naked spat in the sauna was enough of a giveaway, but Miller's regular—thankfully—STD check-ups certainly made him wonder. Kaz being active with either sex wasn't an issue, as long as he stayed safe.

Ultimately their business, not that it wasn't a bit intriguing—and occasionally funny to hear some staff still gossip over the sauna fiasco.

Rubbing a tired eye, the forty-two year-old smiled at Nuke following him side-by-side to his room for some much needed rest.

Hm. He gained a five o'clock shadow from the hectic day, but maybe a beard would look good on him?

The man offered a silent request—to any deity willing to listen—that life would work itself out, and he could continue his happy servitude to Big Boss by saving lives. MSF needed all the help it could get, if their military nation was to grow.

"So," John sat against Kaz's bed, pulling out and relighting his cigar from earlier. The spice-rack scent was weirdly comforting tonight, for the blonde. Snake exhaled before speaking with the cigar in-between his teeth. "This about your Parisienne at all?"

A shake of his head. Silence. After five minutes of the stillness of the room, save for the ocean waves outside, he offered, mumbling in Japanese: "Everything…"

Snake blinked. Sure, Kaz taught him a few phrases in the time they've known each other, but. "Come again?"

Muttering something again, Kaz abruptly shot upright, punching his bed frame.

"Easy, Kaz. Easy." Snake certainly wasn't used to seeing his sub-commander so riled up, while offering a comforting arm around Kaz's shoulder. But who could honestly blame him?

As such, Snake was even more taken aback by Kaz burying his face into the man's dried blood sneaking suit, arms clinging to the Boss's waist.

"...Kaz?" He tentatively put the same arm around the younger man's shoulder.

And to think, this new aspect of their relationship started on a rainy night in '74. Snake was tense, shoulders tight, angrily chain-smoking cigars, after his first meeting with Paz and Zadornov.

The stress, after effectively agreeing MSF would assist—for Paz and nothing more—heavily weighed him down. Free from national ideologies, the mission he agreed to was strictly peace. Still…The knots in his stomach wouldn't go away. Hell of a dangerous situation "the Reds" and the U.S. were tangled in.

Kaz had offered a massage, which Snake reluctantly agreed to. Things heated up in the spur of the moment. A kiss by Kaz here, his hand sneakily grabbing there. Snake was a little shocked by Kaz's skill, yet silently thankful for the unorthodox relaxation methods. He had quickly fallen asleep, properly relaxed, afterward. His sub-commander sat, tenderly stroking the man's hair, before leaving the room to make some private phone calls.

Talking over their morning coffee, they agreed to see where…dating…would take them. As business partners and friends for two years, what did they have to lose?

"Too many damn good soldiers were lost, tonight. Hurts to think I…I almost lost…" The blonde swallowed, voice thick, hasty, as the hug tightened. "Just hold me. Please, Boss."

"Alright." Stubbing out his cigar, Snake gently—albeit awkwardly—hugged Kaz, slowly stroking the base of the blonde's hair, where some curls stuck out.

"Don't leave. Please don't leave me, Snake…" He was mindlessly pleading, to who or what, who could say? Was that a sniffle? The harsh reality of their shared dream, almost unfairly snatched away, crashing down around them…It was all too much.

Shit. Seeing Kaz so vulnerable honestly hurt. "I'm here, Kaz. It's okay…We're okay." It was all he could offer, rubbing Kaz's back while fighting off his own internal pain.

"Boss…Snake." Kaz's jaw set while watery, red eyes met Big Boss's calm one, their noses touching. His attempts in refusing to visibly break down crying was something to be commended, despite the obvious faltering.

The tense evening seemed to age him ten years, lines of fatigue marring his otherwise youthful face. "I promise you now, we'll make those bastards pay. And that Cipher bitch—"

"…Will be left alone, if she survives the night in our ER. We both see she's remorseful, and her life is in our hands."

Big Boss's voice had a bit of a warning tone to it, as he continued. "Don't forget you were in a similar position just last year. The man I knew, he wouldn't do something like this. It's clearly an unknown party."

Kaz didn't have any response, his head spinning with various thoughts and theories, but…

Everything came up short. Analyzing, processing, just simply thinking…Let that happen tomorrow, once—if—adequate sleep came about.

He wordlessly crawled into his bed, underwear off. Not like Snake would care, and it was another damn hot night for March.

Surprise was immediate, then, as Kaz realized Snake had climbed into his bed, equally naked. His eye-patch lay on their nightstand.

"Er. Boss?"

A half-asleep shrug. That milky eye was 'staring' right at him. "You're lonely. I can tell."

"I…" Any words fell flat on his tongue. Too bad he wasn't in better spirits to joke around about readying the lube and a condom. In his drained state of mind, the thought of sex fled as quickly as it came about.

Snake, for his part, turned around, back facing Kaz, both eyes finally shutting.

"He—hey." Heart thudding, Kaz felt himself wrap his arms around Snake's stomach. That fake jigsaw scar had long ago faded, now a distant memory. Kaz could never quite figure out if Snake would react with silent happiness or mild irritation when it came to romance.

Was the room always so warm?

Of course, there was a grunt in reply, but no breaking away. His words slurred. "Kaz, it's like an oven in here. Let's get some rest already, eh? So tired, I can barely—"

"Let me be selfish for a little while."

"Like you always are?" A low chuckle.

The blonde simply muttered with a roll of his eyes. "Shut up." Hug tightening.

"Kaz." Big Boss practically purred in the blonde's arms. Rather unlike him. Momentary happiness. Absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, after…

Snake's hand found its way atop one of Kaz's, slowly running a thumb over it. Holding each other in the darkness was a quiet comfort. "Think we'll be okay?"

The blonde shrugged, leaning in, kissing the older man's neck. He closed his eyes, slowly, slowly, exhaling through his nose. "You tell me."

A snort, although Snake squeezed Kaz's hand after that kiss. "Work with me here. You know I suck at offering reassurance."

Crap. Why'd his own voice have to shake? "As long as you stay by our side, Boss, I know we'll be okay." He managed a weak smile against Snake's neck.

Snake playfully rolled his good eye. "Cut it out with the hero worship." Perhaps Miller's little desk job was making him weak. "Dependent on me? Where'd that fighting spirit of yours go?"

"C'mon, Snake! That's not it. I just…" He trailed off. Too damn hard to focus anymore, articulate his complex feelings. Sleep beginning to claim his foggy head.

"Good night, Kaz." Snake smiled against the younger man's arms, his light snores filling the otherwise quiet room. A glance at the clock revealed it was already 0500 hours—the time Snake would normally wake up to start his day. Shit.

From here on out, life at MSF would be especially difficult. Time would certainly tell if camaraderie and their nuclear warning would be more than enough in quashing any opposition faced. Their recently fallen would understand…Wouldn't they?

With a heavy heart, John squeezed Kaz's hand tight before uneasily drifting off.

A/N: Save me from myself with these various open-ended AUs I've been writing! My next BBKaz fic idea (also came about in May) was thought up before Yoru, but it'll be massive (as long as Elegia?), depending on how I plot things out.

Please look forward to it!

As an aside, There Is a Light That Never Goes Out by The Smiths is the perfect Bosselot song, in my mind. For BBEva, I'd default to Don't Be Afraid from MGS3 (excellent BB/The Boss feels too, when you look at the song's lyrics and game overall). I'm sure I'll write a VQuiet fluff piece soon enough, so no worries there~

See you all in the next one.