Half The World Away

Bilbo hadn't slept in days. After the battle of the five armies he'd left Erebor with a heavy heart. The journey back to the Shire had been uneventful but long. He barley slept at night, waking early to keep walking. It was as if he was in a trance, doing anything to keep him from thinking; to keep him from crying.

Thorin had been rushed to the healers as soon as the battle had ended. Bilbo was relived when he'd been informed that the King of the mountains would make a full recovery, but it would take time, a lot of it. The little hobbit had made the decision to leave before he would awaken. It was with agony of mind that he bid his fellow companions farewell. They'd insisted he'd stay but didn't force it upon him, which he was grateful for.

As he laid his eyes upon his little hobbit home he'd only felt disheartened. He'd left his family back in the mountains, but no matter how much it pained him he knew he wasn't welcomed by the dwarf that mattered most.

Thorin Oakenshiled had been given his heart and no matter how bruised and shattered it was, he still owned it and always would.

During their quest to the mountains they'd grown closer but it wasn't until they reached the clearings of Thranduils domain that Bilbo had acknowledged his developing feelings. Unbeknown to him the dwarf King had been festering feelings towards the hobbit ever since their first meeting. It didn't take longer than 3 days before Thorin took him away from the company to a secluded place by the water. They sat there and talked for what had felt like hours and the entire time they'd laughed and at the end both of them was smiling in contentment, he'd been caught off guard when he'd suddenly felt Thorin beard tickle his rosy cheeks as he kissed him softly in the moonlight.

It had been perfect first kiss and it would always stay perfect in his mind. He smiled sadly as he brewed his favourite camomile tea. He chuckled as he filled the pot with water. He hadn't had a cup of tea since the day he'd signed the contract, it was almost as if he'd forgotten how to relax and just .. Be.

He lit the fireplace and made himself comfortable in his armchair, resting his eyes on the heart. The flame danced around the wood, slowly turning the bark to charcoal. Bilbo slowly closed his eyes, letting tears trickle down his cheeks as he finally let himself weep for the agony the journey had left him; but a sad smile spread softly from his lips, 'cause no matter how much it had pained him he didn't regret a thing.

Two week went by with ease. He spent the first 3 days cleaning and restocking his empty cabinets. He'd been hurting as he remembered the night that started it all. He remembered his confusion and their utter lack of manners with fondness, but at the back of his mind he heard them all sing about their lost mountain; the mountain he now longed to see once more.

After that the days was spent in the garden or in his study. He would occasionally go to the market just to see familiar faces and make small talk. The ring laid almost forgotten over the fireplace, he dared not throw it away and yet it would only bring him in to a state of melancholy when watched upon.

But imagine the surprise when on Tuesday evening, right around supper, he'd heard a loud banging on his door. There stood 3 familiar and oh so missed dwarfs. Dwalin, Fili and Kili looked better than he'd ever seen them before. Gone was the ashy skin tones, worn clothes and sunken cheeks. Before him stood well fed, finely clothed dwarfs smiling at him.

''Master Baggins! It's so good to see you again!'' Fili said as he took the shocked hobbit into his arms. Kili joined in on the hug with laughter and Bilbo could do nothing but hugged them back.

''What on earth brings you here?'' Bilbo asked, smiling in question as he let the dwarfs into his home as he did so many months ago.

The dwarfs seated themselves near the lit fireplace before getting to business.

''The King has awoken.'' Dwalin stated, uncertain at the response he'd get. Surprisingly Bilbo smiled in relief at the news.

''That's great. I've been worried.'' He said with a sad smile. News outside of the Shire was hard to come by since Hobbits tend to keep to themselves.

''He asked for you..'' Dwalin started slowly, not knowing how to phrase the following sentence; lucky for him he didn't need to.

''He was sad to hear you'd left! He's locked himself in his room for days now and barley eats nor speak to anyone...'' Kili continued looking desperate.

''He's just as ''reasonable'' as when he obsessed over the Arkenstone.'' Dwalin huffed, eyebrows wrinkled in worry and frustration.

''We really need you to come back with us..'' Fili started, pleading with his eyes.

Bilbo looked, chocked at the news. He knew that Thorin hadn't been in his right mind when he entered Erebor, desperate to find the stone. But he'd thought that Thorin resented him for betraying his trust by giving it to Bard, even if throwing him of the cliff was a bit overboard...

''He's.. Not angry with me?'' Bilbo asked with a confused frown.

''Angry? What for? He wasn't fair, his mind was poisoned making him greedy and selfish. You made the decision non of us was brave enough to do. Without you he wouldn't have negotiated at all with neither Elves or Men and death would have consumed our land once more.'' Kili voiced with passion as his arms made movements showing how frustrated he'd been with his uncle.

Both Dwalin and Fili nodded in agreement whilst Bilbo took it all in. They had understood his reason, even consented on the matter. He sunk deeper into his armchair, baffled at the thought that Thorin wasn't furious with him, still.

''Of course I'll return.'' Bilbo said without hesitation, if there was a chance to feel at home once more he'd do anything.

His old companions fell asleep a few hours later whilst Bilbo was far from letting rest take its place. He was worried and afraid to let himself hope. He longed for Thorins voice talking to him lovingly, he longed for the tickling kisses and for the warmth that filled his heart each time the dwarf would smile at him. He closed his eyes, hugging his pillow in desperation that he wouldn't wake up and for it all to have been a dream.

._._._._._._._._.

They were now two days into their travels to Erebor and so far everything had been going smoothly. They had packed enough food to feed the old dwarf battalion and Bilbo had Sting safely placed on his person in case they would stumble upon trouble. He felt some sort of comfort knowing that his dull everyday life was once again compromised with adventure and sudden danger.

For better judgment he left the ring safely over the fireplace. He felt its captivating pull each time he passed it and knew, that like the Arkenstone, it held a foul craving to be used. He decided that he would leave it all behind - the ring, his home; even the Shire was only a shell of discomfort and false reality. He was determent to distance himself from his old life despite not know how the future would present itself.

They had only hours left of travel, making Bilbo more and more timorous the closer they got. He could see the majestic mountain glimpsing through the threes and he could feel how his calm composure traitorously left him.

''Uncle will be thrilled for your return!'' Kili said in excitement as he too could see the mountain peeking through the forest.

''Yeah, well if he isn't I'm going to at least beat some sense into him.'' Bilbo chuckled and the dwarfs laughed with him, knowing fully well how good the halfling was at making them all whither in shame.

They kept the rest of the peregrination in good humour, keeping Bilbos mind of unnecessary bothers. They arrived at the mountain gates as the moon arose upon the stars lit sky. Bilbo was grateful to be off his horse but felt his heart filled with unease. He would finally see the mountain King standing in full-health once more, okay not really full-health but not exactly dying either.

''Nerves getting to ya?'' Dwalin asked as he pushed the silent Hobbit through the large doors. Bilbo only nodding, not trusting his voice. Dwalin chuckled but smiled in understanding. They walked up the stairs in silence but as the halfling raised his clenched fist to knock on the dwarf Kings door they ceased into the shadows and soon he stood their alone.

Bilbo didn't know how it happened but somehow he'd mustered up the courage to make his presence known. It didn't take more than a few seconds for him to hear the rough voice granting him entry.

The room was dark and cold, only the moonlight lit the room and Bilbo could barley make out Thorins silhouette in the calignosity. He entered with caution knowing that his presence was known but not yet if it was wanted.

Bilbo watched Thorin turn towards him with an expressionless exterior turning into one of shock. The little hobbit stayed quiet, unable to make a sound; torn between wanting to stay and flea the situation all together.

* ''Givashel?'' Thorin asked softly, voice filled with caution but also filled with so much hope that Bilbo couldn't hold the tears back. Bilbo smiled at the softly spoken word and felt the salty drops run down his cheeks whilst he nodded.

''Yes, Thorin.. I'm here..'' The epithet he'd been given for what felt like a decade ago was once again used with adoration. He found himself lifted of the ground, held by strong arms in a tight embrace. The familiar sent of smoke and dirt filled his senses with comfort, and with a sob he clutched the fabric-clad back with vigour.

But all to soon the desperate need for contact dulled. Thorin reached for his tear-streaked cheek, rubbing the tears away with a gentle thumb. Bildo leaned into the touch, savouring the warmth.

''You returned ..'' Thorin breathily stated, still feeling as if it was a illusion and that he'd soon be pulled into reality once more, looking longingly towards the west.

''Well I didn't have much choice with you stubbornness worrying everyone now did I?'' Bilbo chuckled softly, smiling softly. Thorin smiled back with guilt filled eyes.

''I guess you're saving me once again, little burglar.'' Thorin said whilst letting his forehead lean against the shorter man with a pained frown.

''Can you ever forgive my foolish mistakes?'' The question was permeating with agony. Bilbo placed his smaller hands on the dwarf Kings bearded cheeks looking deep into those grey eyes with nothing but adoration and love.

''There is nothing to forgive, for I blame you not for anything; it is I that have to ask to be forgiven for betraying your trust.'' Bilbo said.

''Surly you can't think I would be upset with you for saving not only I but my kingdom?'' Thorin question in surprise. He then chuckled in reverence, shaking his head with fondness; of course the selfless hobbit would find reason to blame himself rather than think ill of another.

''I have nothing to give you other than my heart, if you still can find it in you to love me.'' Thorin said as leaned in closer.

''I've never once stopped feeling anything but love towards you, my King.'' Bilbo said in response and mer seconds later his lips was claimed by the other.

''Welcome home Givashel.'' Thorin whispered as he led the halfling towards the large bed.

Bilbo chuckled but let himself be guided by the older male. He was laid down on the soft pillows, covered by the dwarfs strong frame and once again their lips was partaking in a soft exchange of love. Bilbo placed his hand on Thorins chest as he ended the kiss long enough to murmur his acknowledgement.

''And never shall I be half the world away every again.''

._._._._._._._._.

* Givashel means treasure of all treasures in Khuzdul.