I watched as Helga came stomping down the sidewalk. She looked angry, as she normally does, but she seemed a little more than usual. Normally when we would round the corner we would smack into each other and knock each other to the ground. I would stand up, apologize for knocking her over, and offer my hand to help her up. She would notice it was me and say my name in surprise, even though we were the only two people who run into each other that often in the whole city, shake her head to clear the expression off her face and then smack my hand away and say something along the lines of "Crimeny football-head! Why do you keep running into me? You're always walking around with your head in the clouds!" I would apologize again and we would part ways.

But this time I saw her ahead of time, so I crossed the street to avoid running into her. When I got closer to her she seemed to notice I crossed the street to avoid her. She looked at me with a surprised expression for about a millisecond, but then her famous scowl returned to her face. I frowned and broke eye contact with her, continuing down the street.

I had been doing this a lot lately, it seemed. I would see Helga and then avoid her. I didn't want to hurt her feelings or anything, but this just seemed better for the both of us. No more running into each other. No more trying to get her out of messes she somehow worked her way into at school. No more giving her advice.

She stopped picking on me as well. She would occasionally throw a spit ball my way, but when she saw I never reacted to her she would stop. She would just glare at me. Not that she didn't do that before, but it never really seemed the same as this glare. This one seemed full of...hatred. Or maybe hurt.

It's not that I want to avoid Helga. We're friends. We'll always be friends. It's just I don't know what to say to her anymore. Every time I think that I have it all figured out and I'm finally going to confront her, I see her and it all goes blank. Every time. And then I have to go back to square one and figure everything out again, which was difficult the first time. I still don't know why my mind goes blank when I see her now.

I cross the street and come to Gerald Field. All of the now fifth grade kids were supposed to meet here to practice for a match against the sixth-graders. I briefly wonder why Helga was walking the opposite direction, but the thought leaves my head when I see Gerald waving and walking up to me. I smile at him and we do our hand shake, before I go to put my bat and mitt down by the bench.

I notice Phoebe sitting on the bench, like she usually does when she keeps score, and I smile at her. She returns my smile, but then looks straight ahead again. "Where is Helga?" I ask her. She raises an eyebrow at me, and says "I believe Helga forgot her catchers mitt and returned home to retrieve it." She then turns away from me. I sigh and walk back towards the field. I know she's mad at me for avoiding Helga. And she should be. I feel horrible doing it. And I miss Helga. A lot. But I still haven't figured out what to do.

Suddenly Helga appears on the field, screaming directions at everyone before settling at her spot in front of home base with her catchers mitt. I'm apparently in the outfield, so I grab my mitt and head in that direction. "Come on, football-head we don't have all day!" Helga yells. I sigh and stop at my spot.

Today just isn't my day. I have yet to actually catch a ball, and Helga is yelling at me non stop. "Man, Helga is really on your case today," Gerald mumbled. I sighed and told him I was just ignoring her. I looked up and see that Lila is up to bat and sigh. She is one of our worst batters. Ever since that incident with Timberly a while ago my crush on her has disappeared. We are still great friends, as we have a lot in common, but there are times when I question why I even had feelings for her. We are alike, but theres something about her thats just not what I want. Like I built her up in my head or something and now that my crush is gone I'm focusing on other things that she does. They're not bad things, just things I didn't notice before.

I snap out of my train of thought when I see the ball heading towards me. It bounces on the ground and I look up to see lila crossing third base. "Throw it home, Arnold!" I hear Gearld yell. So I do so. I throw it right at Helga. But instead of landing in her mitt, it hits her right in the head, knocking her to the ground.

I immediately run to her. I'm terrified I gave her amnesia again, or something worse has happened to her. I don't want to think about what the "something worse" could be. When I reach her I kneel next to her. "Helga, I'm so sorry! Are you ok?" I ask. She sits up, rubbing her forehead. She seemed a bit dazed, but then looks at me and a scowl returns to her face.

"What's you're problem?" She yells. I'm a little caught off guard by her reaction, but before I get a chance to reply she speaks. "You can't even throw a ball right, football-head!" I glare back at her. "What's your problem? You've been yelling at me this whole practice!"

"Uhhh, guys," Gerald said, tapping my shoulder. I didn't look around at him. I just kept glaring at Helga and she glared back at me. "Its getting dark and the streetlights are starting to come on. I'm going home." I broke my glare to look up at Gerald and noticed half our classmates walking off the field towards the street. I stood up and faced Gerald. "You go ahead Gerald, I'm going to stay and talk to Helga."

"You going to be ok?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine."

"Ok, see you tomorrow, Arnold," Gerald said as we did our handshake. He spun on his heel and walked towards the street. I turned back to Helga and noticed she was gone. I walked onto the sidewalk and saw Helga walking down it at a fast pace. "Helga, wait!" I said. She shook her head and called over her shoulder "Stuff it, football-head," and started to run.

I saw her cut through Tina park and then lost sight of her. I sigh and stop at the entrance. I walk around the park, looking around for her. I still haven't figured out what I'm going to say to her, but I focus on finding her. I stop by the tree Eugene, Harold and I got stuck in a year ago. I lean against it and rub my eyes. I walk around the tree and see Helga sitting there. I stop in front of her and she looks up at me and jumps.

"Criminy football-head, why are you always sneaking up on me?" She asks, scowling at me. I ignore her question and glare back at her. "Helga, why have you been so awful to me?" I ask her.

"Well maybe if you weren't such a stupid football-head I wouldn't treat you that way."

"Helga, I don't understand. I haven't done anything wrong."

Helga laughed. "Thats a load of bull. You've been avoiding me for weeks. You barely even look my way. I know we're not friends anymore, but I'd like a little respect."

I looked down at the ground. "We're still friends," I said quietly.

Helga rolled her eyes. "Arnold, what friends do you know avoid each other?" I shook my head.

"I'd like to know why," Helga said. She said it without her usual sarcasm. Her voice was so soft I had to look up at her. Her blue eyes were clear, even at night.

Here was my chance to explain. To tell her what has been going through my head the past few months. My previous attempts to think it out beforehand had failed, but maybe just saying on my mind would be easier. And she at least deserves answers.

"I..uh...I've been confused," I said. She raises an eyebrow at me. "Confused? About what?"

"About how I feel about you," I said, scratching the back of my neck nervously. She raises her eyebrows and her eyes go wide, but she doesnt say anything so I continue. "And since I have not figured it out yet, I don't know how to act around you anymore. Or what to say. My mind kind of goes blank when I see you. And thats never happened to me before. So I've been avoiding you until I have everything figured out."

"So you've been avoiding me for weeks because you don't know how you feel about me?" She asks and I nod. She looks me dead in the eyes and with an unreadable expression. "Arnold, if it's taken you this long to "figure out how you feel about me", and have been doing so by avoiding me, you obviously already know," She huffed, walking away.

I chase after her. "Helga, wait! I was just trying to be honest with you. I really don't know how I feel. I don't know what to do."

Helga stopped and turned towards me, scowling. "Use that obnoxiously large head of yours, Arnold. Think about what YOU want, not anybody else. But until you figure it out, Helga G. Pataki doesn't need anymore 'friends'" she said. She turned and walked off.

What did I want? I thought, sitting down under the tree. I knew I didn't want Helga to go back to picking on me. It had been nice not to have her throwing spitballs at me during class. But I did miss her friendship. The small talks she had with me where she wasn't mean or sarcastic. Like when she ran into me after Lila dumped me. Or when she saved me from that awful Summer girl. It seemed like I was the only person who saw the nicer side of Helga.

And I wanted to see more of that. For some reason or another, I always seemed to stand up for Helga. I always told people that there was a better side to Helga. That she was hiding behind some insecurities. But more than anything I wanted those insecurities to go away. I wanted to make them go away. I wanted Helga's good side.

But then there was her bad side. Granted, it wasn't all that bad. She was strong, physically and emotionally. She was smart and funny. She could take care of herself. But when it was bad, it was really bad. She could be mean and nasty. Use "betsy and the five avengers." She was unpredictable. But that made her so much more intriguing.

I wanted to figure out Helga. I wanted her to know that she would be ok with me. To show her good side, despite how horrible her bad one could be. I knew I really, really missed her. Having Helga G. Pataki out of your life certainly was boring. Avoiding her was probably my stupidest idea I've ever had.

Out of all the thoughts flying around my head, I knew one thing was perfectly clear. I ran out of the park and down the street. I kept running, the streetlights passing me in a blur and the warm air brushing past me. I saw her walking up her stoop and called out her name.

She looked at me, surprise in her eyes, and walked back down her stoop. "What are YOU doing here football-head?" She asked.

I bent over holding my knees, trying to catch my breath. "Helga," I said, panting, "You were right."

She raises an eyebrow at me. "You were right that I already knew. I think I've always known how I feel about you. I've just been suppressing it subconsciously, or something," I said. She responds with a small "Oh."

I stand up and walk towards her. "Listen, I'm still confused about a lot of things. But I do know that I don't ever want to go that long with out talking to you ever again." I look down at the ground and scratch the back of my neck.

"...And I want to be with you."

I looked back up at her and she has a huge smile on her face. She looks so happy. It makes my chest fell warm. I can't help but smile back at her.

I take her hand in mine. Its warm. I hadn't realized mine was so cold. But now that it was wrapped in hers, I never wanted to let go.