Are you still there? Are you still waiting? For me? I'm so sorry, it's been nearly a year. Life kind of took me by surprise with some unexpected turns. I can't guarantee when the next update will be, i wish i had more free time, I wish I had more energy. But I wrote this for you guys, the ones who are still here, and didn't give up on me. Thank you for the messages and reviews. I hope you enjoy it, and I hope the year hasn't worn down my writing skills.

Deep breaths, long strides, a flowing cape and tense air. Raven followed Beast Boy, who seemed oddly calm today, a stark contrast from the past few days. Raven however, was timid and quiet, heart beating hard, almost painful, and her nerves made her jumpy. She felt guilt deep in her heart, vibrating her vocal cords when she tried to speak, tingling her fingertips until it felt like pins and needles.

She missed Her by her side when she read or meditated, she hated the pain and turmoil she caused him, and no longer stood by the thought that she did the right thing. The way she spoke to him was horrid, and hurtful, disguised as a tough love speech. Now she understood the full effect of her words, and how she handled the situation. Poorly.

Though she knew Her best friend would never hurt her, or even unnecessarily raise his voice to her, the idea of facing him right now made her cold and scared, because it meant facing her wrong doings as well.

They both walked in silence, the calm air around beast boy mixing with the static air around Raven. And before she knew it, he was opening the door to the roof, and the sun hit her face with a warmth she hadn't felt in a few days. Dick and Starfire were already there, wrapped in each others arms, making kissy faces and giggling into each other with comfort and love. Raven felt jealous.

When the love birds noticed the newly arriving pair, they toned down to a more serious level. Gar gave them a smile, and they smiled in return, but when they looked at Raven, hiding under her hood and looking like a scared child, the smiles vanished. Dick took Star's hand and playfully pulled her along as he made his way back inside. They were off to spend some time alone in bed. Raven was envious. She watched them leave, focusing her best on their happy and loving energy. As soon as the were gone, she turned back to Gar ready with an apology on her lips. The second she faced him however, he pulled her hood down, and startled her to silence with a hug.

"Raven please don't do this." The urgency in his plead surprised her, as he seemed so calm prior. But now that she knew he could suppress emotions, she had no idea what to expect from him anymore.

She was frozen in place, confused but soaking in his hug. "What? Do what?" Her voice was alert, and shaking slightly. He pulled back to look at her, really look into her eyes, searching them as he also searched for the words to say.

"You're retreating again, you're blocking the team out, you're dealing with your problems on your own. You know we're always here for you. Please Raven, if you can't talk to me, talk to Starfire or Dick, even Cy, but please don't do this alone." He didn't break eye contact with her once and she felt the urgency as he spoke. Suddenly her apology disappeared and she felt instead she was confused and disoriented. Her eyes were wide in bewilderment, she hadn't expected for Beastboy to be the one to apologize.

There was a pause of silence, followed by Raven stuttering to find a few words. "I-i." The words didn't come out, but her mouth continued to move, as though they eventually would. She racked her brain for what to say, and Beastboy stared at her, waiting patiently as she tried to compose.

"I'm not trying to push anyone away!" Defensive, and she knew she was lying. She was pushing everyone away, and once they were thoroughly pushed, she pulled herself away for good measure. Beast Boy looked her over, hoping she would say something else. Once he realized she wasn't going to change her mind, he felt a little angry. She was lying directly to his face, and he didn't know how to call her out without making the situation worse. Deciding that there was no peaceful end to this conversation, he let his surface just slightly.

"What is your DEAL?" He emphasized with darting hand motions.

The words hit her hard in the chest, he hadn't said that to her in so long, since before they were close friends, he'd say it to her all the time when she'd blow up, or do something disparaging. In those words did she finally find her own.

"I'm scared!" She shouted back in his face, and the concrete of the roof cracked below them. Garfield took a step back to give her space, but she followed his step, and took one closer.

"I'm terrified of what my powers will do if I lose control. I've been trying for years to keep myself so monotone that not one single emotion could unbalance me." She was right in his face, and shouting loud enough the shore seemed to roar back at her. The ground beneath them was crumbling, and Beastboy was afraid the roof was gonna crash down.

"You don't get it! You never have, This is what my emotions do to me!" She motioned to the mess around them.

"No this is what your anger does to you!" He shouted in return."What do the rest of your emotions make you do?"

She looked him over for a moment, trying to process what he was saying. Her anger was when she lost control, and her powers rained destruction. What did her happiness make her wanna do? What did her curiosity and jealousy, and envy make her want to do? What did her love make her want to do?

He saw the look in her eyes, and knew he should leave her to process the thoughts in her head, But he couldn't resist her.

"I'm sorry Rae." And before she could ask why he was apologizing, his arm was around her waist, pulling her in with animal ferocity. By the time his other hand hand its way to her neck, his lips were on hers. Time stopped, he felt warm, he felt electric. He felt alive, and happy, and safe, and excited. He felt so many emotions at once that he couldn't hold them all in, and they poured over Raven. She kissed him back with the same fervor, caressing his arms as he held her still.

Nothing made sense, but everything meant something, and though the confusion was overwhelming, so was the compassion. He didn't want to let her go, she didn't want to be let go, she didn't want to think, she just wanted to feel him.

They both knew that when the kiss ended, they'd have to talk about it, and the reality would set it. They could enjoy this moment, they want this moment together, but this moment wouldn't last for them. Not as long as Raven felt she had to suppress every emotion to keep from destroying everything around her. So when they pulled apart just slightly she chased his lips again, and he did the same for her.

Finally, when they were both sated, they looked around and realized the world hadn't fallen apart, that the tower hadn't blown up, and they were standing on solid ground. The moment was short lived, as before they could ponder or speak of the situation around them, the bells started sounding, red lights were flashing, and Dick's voice was on the loudspeaker calling the titans together. Jump City was under attack, and "Raven and Garfield" had to be put on hold.