Disclaimer: Victorious, iCarly and Drake and Josh and their characters are the property of Schneider's Bakery and Nickelodeon. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. No profit is intended or wanted for this story.

Note: Based on a suggestion from a fellow scribe who wishes to remain anonymous. I had hoped to post this last week but my old PC took a header into an electronic grave.

"There's only a month to go before Trina's wedding day and she hasn't even picked a maid of honor!" Tori exclaimed.

"Jeez, will you relax already? You're a shoe-in, Vega."

"But Jade… It takes time for the dress and…"

"I was in a wedding before Vega. You might recall that. You were there too!"

Tori smiled, "Yeah that was the happiest day ever!"

Jade returned her smile. This is the Jade smile reserved almost exclusively for her wife - soft and loving and happy.

"But I picked Trina months before!"

The smile disappeared as a grimace took it's place. Jade flung her arms in the air. "AAAGGGHHH! I can't take it! I gotta get outta here before I get stabby and scissory."

"Jade," Tori whined, "I need yoooo-ooo…"

"Nope! Talk to your sister. Anyway, I promised Cat we'd meet to go over her designs for my new movie."

"But you were going to do that tomorrow!" Tori whined.

"It's a long way from Malibu to Santa Monica. If I'm lucky with traffic, I might be there early," Jade declared as she walked towards the door. "I love you but, whine without cheese drives me nuts!"

Before leaving though, she walked back to her wife, hugged and kissed her sweetly then dashed to the door before Tori could start up again.

Sam Puckett answered the door. "Oh, thank God! Cat has been driving me crazy!"

"She's good at that," Jade said as she entered their home. "CAT! I'm here to go over the costumes!"

"JADIE!" Cat screamed as she ran into the living room. Before Jade could react, she was enveloped in Cat Puckett's arms.

"Okay, Mrs. Puckett. You can let go now!" Jade demanded. Man, Vega has made me soft.

"Who's Puckett? My name's Pickle," Cat said as Sam face-palmed in exasperation.

"You, you red-headed dingaling!"

"Isn't that a bird?" Cat asked her frustrated wife.

Jade rolled her eyes as Sam sank into the sofa, "Aaahhh, I give up!"

Cat threw Jade a wink. In a whisper, she said, "I love messing with Sam. For a change."

Jade smiled, her Kitty-cat had grown some claws. Not sharp but still…

"Cat, about those costume designs?"

"Kay-kay," she replied as she ran into her study. A moment later, she yelled, "JADEY! ARE YOU COMING?"

With a smirk, Jade replied, "Only with Tori."

Cat blushed as she realized what she had asked. "Jade!"

In her almost dead-on Cat voice, she asked, "Whattie?"

Cat got her folio out and began to set out the illustrations on her drafting table, the pattern table and the desk. Then she said, "Can you believe Trina hasn't picked a maid of honor yet?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, it's only a month to the wedding!"

"Oh no… This again? I've got to go!"

"But Jade…"

As Jade left their house, Sam asked, "The wedding?"

"Yep!"

"You getting the same at home?'

"Oh yeah…"

Sam shook her head, "I think I'm going to take up drinking…"

Jade barked a laugh as she left, heading for the city.

As Andre let her in, she said, as she always did when she entered the bungalow that was the Beck-Harris home in the old LGBT enclave of West Hollywood, "Cliché much?"

Rather than react to her statement, Andre sighed in relief, "Jade! Thank God you're here! Beck is driving me crazy!"

"Nooo…" muttered the former Goth, her eyes pressed shut. Please let it be the adoption. Please let it be the adoption. Jade repeated her new mantra in her head several times then looked at Andre, "Is it the goddamned wedding?"

"How'd you know?"

"Well, it was either that or the adoption."

"No, that's going well. Barring any last minute snag, we'll be flying to Ho Chi Minh City to get our new baby. Thank God this wedding chiz will be over and done with before we leave."

Taking a breath, Jade asked, "Who else is in the running for maid of honor?"

"Just Beck, Tori and Cat."

"Not Carly?"

"Remember when we all got together for that reunion of the Kenan House party? Carly asked Trina how she got into Hollywood Arts then questioned her story, since she already knew the real story. You know, the psyched-out Sikowitz story." Andre chuckled, "Psyched-out Sikowitz! Never thought of it like that before…"

"Alright, I'm heading there."

"There?"

"Carly and Freddie's."

"Can I come? Please?"

Jade looked at Andre, desperate pleading filling his dark features. "Okay… Let's go."

"YES! FREEDOM!" he yelled. Then, in response to a call from further in the house, he yelled, "Be back soon, babe!"

In moments, they were in Jade's car heading down to the Shay-Benson condo in Marina Del Rey. "May as well call Sam. Ask her if she wants to meet us. She's in the same boat we are."

"Okay," Andre agreed as he pulled out his phone. "Boat… Heh-heh-heh… Cause we're heading to a marina…" Seeing Jade's look, he mumbled, "It's not that funny…"

Soon, they were parking in a rare empty space close to the Dolphin Marina apartments near the end of Panay Way, one of the arms of the famous Marina Del Rey yacht basin. Carly was home and greeted them warmly. She was excited to hear Sam was coming over too.

"I haven't seen Sam in weeks. I've been so busy with my morning show and…" Carly lamented. After she finished college, she moved south to be with Freddie who had come down to work for one of the larger software firms in California, outside Silicon Valley. Soon, he was working for himself and doing very well.

Once she was settled, Carly joined her HA friends in show business. It didn't hurt that she had a head start with her old web show. Starting with remote reports and broadcasts, she quickly became one of the co-hosts of Good Morning Southland, a popular local broadcast/cable news and variety show.

"So what brings you guys here?" she asked brightly as she led them out to the balcony overlooking the boat slip. Directly below the apartment was their cabin cruiser. With the condo, it was one of the benefits of Freddie's inventive mind and careful selling of his patented apps and hardware.

"Our wives are driving us crazy!" Jade declared. "My still incredibly irritating sister-in-law, Trina, the living air raid siren, hasn't picked a maid of honor yet!"

"Isn't the wedding in a few weeks?" Carly asked, surprise on her face.

"Oh yeah…" Andre moaned. "Beck, Tori and Cat are all going nuts trying to figure out why she hasn't picked a maid of honor. That's all they're talking about! Who's going to be the maid of honor. God, why can't they just elope? Las Vegas is only a few hours across the desert."

"I asked Sam six months before the wedding. I mean, in our case that was just a formality. We had agreed to be each other's maids of honor way back in grade school." Carly shook her head, "I can't believe Trina hasn't decided yet. Why not?"

With a smirk, Jade said, "I'm not even sure she has a groom yet!"

Andre laughed, "Yeah. But she does."

"Poor schlep."

Carly chimed in, "I don't feel sorry for him at all! She's actually pretty hot. Oh, don't look at me like that! I can appreciate another woman without having the hots for her… I just like her even if she's like a polar opposite of Tori. She just doesn't know enough to think first then speak.

"However, I'm not sure how she snagged Drake Parker. He's totally hot!" Carly blushed, "It's okay. Freddie and I both have our one person we'd sleep with free and clear if we could. Mine has been Drake. His is Alyssa Vaughn."

Drake Parker had been on tour for the past few weeks and, outside of the engagement party, hadn't really interacted with the others. To the others he seemed pretty nice but…

Sam asked, "Did anyone notice how much his sister looks like Carly?"

"I don't look anything like that little…!"

Sam cut her friend off, "Yes you do!"

Andre added his two cents, "You notice a lot of doubles in our lives? Shelby Marx and Tori. Heather Fox and Jade…"

"I do not look like that goody-two-shoes!"

A chorus of "Yeah you do…", "Totally alike" and "If you smiled more…"

"Anyway, now we have Carly and Megan Parker."

Carly's husband came in at that point. Jade actually smiled as Freddie kissed his wife. Is it odd that I find the only 'straight' couple in our little clique so cute?

The discussion went on for an hour as the quintet – Sam had arrived shortly after her old frenemy – consumed two bottles of wine. Carly, ever the good hostess, had put out cheese and crackers as well as a small vegetable tray with dip. With Sam doing most of the work, there wasn't much left by the end of their get-together.

In the meantime, Jade asked about the quickie spread. Freddie replied, "She's always prepared to entertain…"

The central discussion continued until they were covering the same ground over and over again. Finally, feeling a bit of a buzz from the wine, Jade said, "How 'bout a bet?"

When everyone was looking at her but not saying anything, she went on, "The bet is who Trina chooses. Tori, Cat or Beck. The losers' partners have to pay for six dinners for all of us at Maestro's in the six months after the wedding."

"Who's 'all of us'?" Andre asked.

"You, me or Sam - the losers' spouses."

"Hey!" Carly interrupted. "What about us?"

"Alright, sure. You two can be in on dinner. And Trina and Drake." Jade looked thoughtful for a minute, "Actually, that's good. With Maestro's prices, four more diners makes for a decent bet."

"I dunno," Andre said. While it barely related, beyond the wagering aspect, he suddenly remembered hammer dancing for a week.

Not knowing about that bet but reading the tone in Andre's voice, Sam agreed, "Yeah, that'll be expensive."

"So?" Jade asked.

"Maybe…" Andre paused.

With a smile directed at her old friend, Carly suggested, "Maybe six dinners over twelve months?"

Freddie, who had wine and dined clients at Maestro's, said, "I think that's a little more reasonable. The place is awesome but it can get pricey."

Andre kicked in, "And we'd undoubtedly have cocktails and wine. That'll add to what was already a hefty bill when we were in high school…"

Shaking her head, Jade said, "You're all wimps! But, okay. Dinner for eight every other month after the wedding."

"How do the losers divvy it up? Do they split the tabs or take turns?"

"Huh?" Jade looked puzzled.

"Well, there'll be two losers."

"Oh! Right!" Jade thought for a moment. "Okay. That'll be up to the losers."

Andre nodded, satisfied. To a point. He still wasn't thrilled with the whole bet. He always suspected Jade in a situation like this – had since they were in grade school.

Sam chimed in, "Okay, wait! I love you Carls and…I don't hate you, Fredward." Carly beamed at the statement and Freddie had to grin. "Anyway, what are you guys putting up?"

"Huh?"

"Carls, we're putting up dinner on the chance one of us will be bridesmaid…"

"Maid of honor," Jade corrected without being ganky. God, Vega has really rubbed off on me…

Echoing an earlier version of Jade, Sam simply said, "Whatever! So, Carls…? Freddie?"

"Um…" Carly looked at her husband desperately. She wanted to be in this but had no idea what they could contribute.

Freddie smiled calmly at his love and said, "Okay, the winning couple get a full week with our yacht. You can stay in the marina or take it out for a cruise. To Catalina or one of the Channel Islands. Even down to Baja. Provided your license is up to date. Or you hire a reputable crew."

"Sounds like a bet," Jade announced.

The rest agreed and shook hands. Just to make sure it was all clear, Freddie typed out and printed copies of a document for all consenting parties to sign.

To celebrate, another bottle of wine was opened.