dedicated to Princess of Woe and Vilchen

Chapter Sixteen

It hurts, but...

"I REGRET EVERY WORD I SAID!"

"Tone it down, you idiot."

I looked around with teary eyes, taking notice of the few people scattered about the mall. Everyone was minding their own business.

"I agree with Erza, Natsu." Gray butted in, taking her side in trying to make me quiet about my misfortune. It had been two weeks since I told Lucy that I would stop bothering her, and I wasn't taking it well. I mean, it was my decision, and I felt superior when I said it, but it now just seemed like a big mistake.

"But I miss her," I wailed, and Gajeel almost punched me. Gray, Gajeel and I had gone out with Erza to help her carry the items she needed to prep the school for the sports festival. The clubs that weren't participating were in charge of making the school fun and have a lot of booths for the other schools who will be joining.

"For the hundredth time," Erza looked towards Gray, "I don't need help carrying the supplies I will buy. Why do you keep insisting?"

"Aww I think it's nice that they're offering to help!"

We all turned to face a white haired girl. She had this weird creepy happy smile on her face and stared at us as though we were supposed to give out some reaction to a girl we didn't even know. But now that I'm looking at her, she kind of reminds me of that girl in the reading club, I think her name was—

"Mirajane Strauss," She stretched out her hand so that each one of us would shake it. Bewilderment struck our faces, but nobody dared ask what was going on. "I am also here to get supplies!" She shouted, and a collective 'oooh', escaped from out mouths. "So, I'll be counting on you guys to help me too!"

So straightforward…

"Ah!" Erza exclaimed, and we all turned in her direction, "I can see balloons in that store over there!" She rushed towards the specified shop, but as I was about to follow her, I felt a tug on the sleeve of my jacket.

Mirajane smiled at the rest of us, beckoning the others to follow Erza with just the wave of her hand. "You go get the balloons, and Natsu will help me with the paper and pens and such. Right?"

I blankly stared at her leisurely smile, not really sure whether it would be smart to deny her. But, she was a girl after all, and Lucy's friend nonetheless, so saying 'no' was not an option. I agreed, and watched the other guys shrug and leave my sight. As soon as we were alone, she pulled me into a shop at random.

We walked around for a while, and I was trying to figure out why the hell we were looking for paper in a clothes store. I was just about to call bullshit and leave, when she stopped walking, almost causing me to bump into her.

"Alright, I think we both know why I'm here." She stated, and I looked around to make sure I was the only one in the vicinity, and she really was talking to me.

"What are you talking about?" I deadpanned, watching her roll her eyes impatiently.

"What's with the whole, wait for me business?" The question took me by surprise, "I talked to Lucy about it and she says to you told her to wait. For what?" A slender finger jammed into my chest, full of accusation, "Are you planning to ask her to be your girlfriend?"

My defenses shot up, "So what if I am?" Two big blue eyes widened in surprise, "I'm not saying I'm going to do it, but if I do, are you planning on stopping me?" She stepped back a little, her hand falling limply by her side, "Because I've come damn far to give up now."

Her mouth opened and closed indefinitely, before she shook her head, and stared me straight in the eyes. "There's something you should know about her." She started, looking away from me, "But this is not my story to tell. Lucy has made a lot of mistakes in the past, and I'm not sure you're fully aware of that. She is not perfect and—"

"She is far from perfect." I overshadowed her, and she stopped talking immediately, "And I know that very well. All that rough and tough thing she has going for her is not the real Lucy I fell in love with. I fell for the girl who gave me a hand-drawn map, who let me in her home when I needed it most. The scared Lucy. The vulnerable Lucy. The Lucy that laughs and the Lucy that yells at me. The Lucy that whispers through doors, and the Lucy that is late for appointments." I turned to leave, "Not the Lucy with the high standards and the clean report card."

I slammed the door after me, leaving Mirajane literally dumbfounded, to choke in the dust I've left behind me.

"But seriously. HOW. COOL. WAS. THAT? I was like some sort of knight in shining armor! 'She is far from perfect.' DAMNNNNN. I am a fucking poet. Where the hell do you go if you want to publish a book!? I just discovered my hidden talent. Damn I have potential. OOOOOOH I am the most awesome person alive. Future generations will build a sculpture in my honor! And they will bow down in front of it and pray to the almighty Natsu – god of love and poetry and super amazing speech skills. I will have my own shrine and—"

"Cool it, Yato-wannabe."

"Ya-who now?" I asked Gray, but he just calmly shook his head.

We were at the school's gym, and I was wearing a snapback in a failed attempt to hide my identity. It had been super hard these past few weeks, trying to hide from the fact that I'm in the same school as Lucy. It's a good thing that classes ended, but it was not a good thing that we both had training and Lucy was currently in the pool just a short walk away from my soccer field.

It was hard to resist the urge to crash down the door of the indoor swimming pool and leave out of there with one hot blonde to go.

"Why are you here?" Gray asked for the millionth time, and I looked at him in an attempt to think of an answer. I had seen Mirajane walking down the path towards the soccer field, and I panicked. I rushed into the gym and interrupted his basketball practice to hide from the she-devil that was obviously in my pursuit.

"Just wanted to cheer you on!"

"Don't say creepy things like that!" he yelled, and got up to continue his match.

Truth be told, this whole time we were pretending like there wasn't a girl hopelessly staring at him from the back of the gym, hiding behind a rack of basketballs. I sighed. Juvia could be so predictive. I wanted to go over there and talk to her since I kind of felt guilty, but at the same time, I remembered that she was the leader of the swim team, which means I won't be able to think about anything but Lucy in a bikini.

Oh my god. That would be a sight. I wonder what kind of color she would choose.

My face wasn't prepared for the ball that hit it. I doubled back over the small bench, feeling immense pain on my nose. It took quite a lot of thoughts about Lucy in order to stop the scream threatening to spill out any second.

I decided that this place was too dangerous, and Gray helped escort me outside, while holding a handkerchief over my bloody nostrils. I would describe this as an act of kindness, had he not been spewing 'you fucktard' and 'ruined my concentration' every three seconds.

"Is Natsu okay?" We turned around in the middle of his rant, cut off by Juvia who had followed us out behind the gym. I wanted to continue walking towards the soccer field since Mirajane has probably left by now, but Gray stopped in his tracks.

It looks like they were communicating without words. Or at least, there were inaudible to me.

Juvia's concerned look surprised even me, since I didn't actually feel like she gave a crap about Gray's friend when Gray himself was standing before her. But she was sincerely interested in my wellbeing.

"I have some aspirin in case your head hurts or—"

"He's fine." Gray answered in my stead.

Juvia seemed a bit surprised to be stopped like that. I felt like this was taking a turn for the worse, but I didn't know why. So I did my infamous 'run away when there's girl trouble' thing, and slowly backed away from the scene. I knew that Juvia was upset, and there was no reason for me to stick around and find out just how much.

"Why is Gray cutting Juvia off like that?" She stammered, and my pace quickened, "Why is Gray so evil, even thoug Juvia li—"

"Stop." He yelled, shunning her once more. This had jumped over the boundaries of 'my business' long ago, so I tried moving away faster, not really wanting to hear Gray's rejection for the hundredth time.

"Stop." He repeated, raising his hand, his voice barely able to reach me, "You've said it enough times already." I turned around, feeling like I'm practically imposing, and started running towards the field, "Let me be the one to say it now." And the rest of the words were taken by the wind, making Juvia be the only one to hear them.

I slammed my locker, feeling even more depressed than before.

It seemed like everyone's lives were going pretty well, except mine. I hadn't seen my dad in ages since he wasn't home when I returned, and it didn't seem like I'd be seeing either of my parents soon. My grades were slipping, and practice was killing me. There was literally nothing good going for me, and I felt like I would never escape this circle of boredom and sorrow.

Buttoning up my jacket, I pushed open the doors of the school, changed back into my normal attire. I had been on the field for 4 hours straight, and my stomach was giving up on me. I tried chasing away the depressing thoughts, when I heard an all-too-familiar voice of evil.

Stopping in my tracks, and leaning towards the corner of the building, I could overhear the conversation at the vending machines, but remained unseen. It was Mirajane.

"…so I went over there but he was gone." I leaned in order to hear better, "…even asked around…"

Trying to make out her words was hard enough, even without a second character entering the scenes.

"…it's fine though…" I felt my body freeze when I recognized the other girl as Lucy, "…see him at the sports festival… why are you after him..?"

"…kind of yelled at him…" It took everything in me not to run over there and hear out everything completely, "…feel bad…apologize…"

I suddenly heard Lucy's lighthearted laugh, which almost melted me, and made my knees feel weak. "…he's a good person."

Having the blood return to my legs, I felt myself run, and before I knew it, I was in my car, slamming the door shut. I tried to calm myself, feeling the ragged breathing fill the interior. This is bad. This is very, very bad. This is really bad.

If I stayed there another second, I would've run over to her side and hug her, or even do something more than that. It took every ounce of my willpower not to smother her to death in the confined space of my arms. I wanted to steal her away. This is hard.

This is merciless.

This is suffocating.

How the hell will I survive the next few days until the festival?

Being unable to hold the person I love in my arms hurts me even more than I thought it would.

She was there. Close. She was so close to me and I couldn't. I couldn't reach out and grab her.

Suddenly, that noble act of kindness towards her seemed so stupid to me. Why did I ever propose such an atrocious thing? What was I thinking?

But this is fine I guess. It just proves how much I love her, since I chose her will over mine.

I put her first, and I think that is the best thing I've ever done for someone who's not me.

But that doesn't mean I'll give up. On the contrary, I'm even more pumped up than ever.

Just you wait Lucy Heartfilia, I'll hit you with everything I've done, and make you the happiest girl on the planet.

"She's made a lot of mistakes in her life"

Don't make me laugh.

I'm ready to accept her as the person she is.

I just hope she'll accept me back.

Author's Notes: Aww thanks for the reviews guys.

Special thanks to Princess of Woe for her amazingly long review full of love~ and Vilchen, who reviewed on every single chapter of this story. And my other stories. People like this give me inspiration!

What do you think will happen next?

I love u all

~With keys, Through Flames! Aye!~