Hello friends! Before you kill me for neglecting to update for so long (Ryu: In translation, big sib forgot about this and lost inspiration for a while. Rin: Ryu... Ryu: Shutting up. Rena: H-How long h-has it bee-been any-any-anyway? A y-year? Rin: I hate both of you. Ryu: You do realise we're the same person? Rin: That explains a lot of my issues), I have something important to announce.

First of all, my inspiration for this fic has come back, and I'm going to be editting the first few chapters while I post the new ones. Nothing too big, I promise. Just grammer and a few other details so things will be clearer for you guys.

And as for Skull, some of you have been inquiring if she's an reincarnation, and this is my answer. She may or may not be.

... I forgot.

So while I get that established, I've got another thing to answer, some of you have been offended by my writing. For example, in religion. If you think this is offensive, the check out Supernatural and then return to comment on this. Where do you think I got inspiration for this fic? Viper is Azrael from Supernatural, can't make it any clearer than that. There will be offensive stuff in this. Very offensive stuff.

Should I make this an M-rated story? No 'frisky' (I hope someone gets that reference) scenes or anything, just talk about it and violence.

And someone mentioned this is crack... My good peep, what is crack? (Ryu: I honestly didn't notice, but now that you mention it... Rena: I-It's c-craaaack tr-tr-treated s-s-s-seriously? Ryu: Aww.)

Do note this was started at literally 2:37 in the morning and I'm really twitchy so shurhthnsnsjjsjsbdgjddnhdue.

Sorry, had to get that out of my system. Good night for now.

...I never claimed to be sane, sanity is overrated anyway.

»»»Many hours later↓

Two days later, actually. I forgot what I was going to say, but I think I have everything covered except from the reviews and–oh wait, I nearly forgot.

I'll be adding little side stories and omakes to this as an apology soon enough. Most will be about silly little things while others will be about stuff like some of Viper's past lives. There will be a hefty ton of angst in some places, along with fluff and attempted humour.

Now I'm gonna answer your reviews and leave y'all a little present as an apology.

I hope I get all of you, sorry if I don't but it has been a while.

And guys, when I looked at these reviews, all of them, my inspiration for this story was back full force. Thanks.

Dot(Guest): Sorry, I guess? Like I said above, Supernatural is way more offensive than this. It makes you cry and laugh and everything else and makes you hate Michael and like Lucifer. Plus, the unresolved sexual tension between the angel and the hunter is hilarious. I'm not a religious person, but I bloody love that show. If my fic offends you, stop. Reading it. Capisce?

Yami Fumetsu: Yeah, I also love Kagerou Project. My favourite characters are Ayano and Mary. What're yours?

MadaraUchiha-Chan: I'm a sadist, so I take pleasure in that. Plus, the idea's been swimming in my brain for over a year now, so it was time I used it.

Second Chapter ↓

TheRavenclawWitch: I might write it in the near future if you guys want, the whole Byakuran-is-Harry AU. Can you imagine the chaos he would put the Wizarding World through? Just imagining it makes me want to cackle. But for now I'll just make those side stories for this fic. If you have any requests, tell me. ;-)

Guest: I didn't make this with the intention of it becoming a crack fic. Just git a little carried away. 'xcuse me while I go away and sulk.

Third Chapter ↓

MadaraUchiha-Chan: I think they're full of themselves and bigger idiots than... well, I don't want to offend anyone. And thank you, that gave me a confidence boost.

Fourth Chapter Down Here ↓

Fine Specimen Retrieved: Thank you for your review and sorry for offending you. I'm about to go rewrite the chapters but I'm not sure if I'm going to erase that, change it sure, but erase it?

Future Thorn: It would make it too easy, and I didn't want that in my fic. As for the whole ritual thing, I also get a bit cranky when people do it right away and Harry comes out right as rain in the end. Of course, the goblins will probably help Harry in the retrieval of one Horcrux (still don't know) since I doubt anyone would want one in their bank/home.

For the next one, Skull's my favourite character from all the series characters, and in my opinion canon!Skull is secretly a badass and wasn't joking about the immortal thing. And the goblins have a lot of family gold in their vaults, so they've had to deal with a lot of... colourful families through the gaes. Of course, that specific goblin never met most of them, but he's heard stories. Most of them being very, very bad stories.

Concerning the Hayato-Lavina-Viper-oh-my-god-you're-my-mum?! reaction, I've already got something planned.

I made the Flame thing more realistic than in other stories. Viper, Azrael, lived through a lot of things, it's doubtful she'd come out of it right as rain. Angel or not, she isn't perfect. The KHR characters won't find that out for a while. You'll have to read to find out what happened to her Sky Aspect though.

Golly, this review made me blush.

Kirimi Scarlett Hellgrea: Hm? I've already said that... didn't I? ... Oh yeah, I did. I just wrote it confusingly. The name is Cherep Sherrill Regina Teplitsa.

edwardilovebella: Thanks, this makes me very happy!

Angel Winx: Well, feelings have been around for a long time and they have known each other for over fifty years, so... You have to read to find out, my dear angel.

Guest: Yeah, I noticed it too and it's been bugging me for a while. It should be rewritten when I've edited the chapter.

Lord Corruption: Don't worry, milord. Soon enough, a new chapter will rise from my mind.

draco7347: Don't worry, Malfoy. I'll write the new chapters soon, so don't tell your father about this. ;-)

Shadow Wolf 15846: New chapter, coming soon to the FanFiction near you! Or in your phone, computer, etc.

god of all: Yo, Kami-sama. For my guilty conscience's sake, I did not look at the date you reviewed. Because I assume this is nowhere near 'soon'.

MadaraUchiha-Chan: Byakuran as Harry is indeed a frightening thought. Thankfully, he doesn't have most of Harry's abilities in this world since there's a block on him and Viper's the Harry of this universe.

MadaraUchiha-Chan: Nice to read you again. Quite frankly, I find this adorable. You reviewing twice for my chapter. And I agree with you, Magical Britain is so screwed not even Reborn will be able to heal 'em when everyone's done with them. And thank you~

AyameKitsune: First of all, I love your username. I love foxes and the name Ayame. Second of all, I must thank your epic review. And soon enough, a new chappy will be posted!

amerdism: Soon I hope.

Alex2909: Thank you very much, but a note of warning. Never venture into my mind. It's a hectic and quite frankly terrifying place.

And here's your present guys!

Mary wasn't having a good day, no scratch that – she wasn't having a good month. Thankfully, her stomach flu had passed a week ago, but her weird cravings still remained. Joseph has had trouble keeping up with his fiancée's demands of milk. He wasn't a rich man, and Mary often forgot that.

She was woken up by her neighbour at an ungodly hour in the morning, bone tired and more than a bit cranky, and then her neighbour kindly demanded her to go to the river and get some water. Apparently, her husband was helping her neighbour's husband with the cattle and Mary was supposed to help her pregnant neighbour until the men were done.

She took the jug with a glare that made her neighbour flinch and scurry away to her house. With a resigned sigh she made her way down to the river.

Why did she have to be the one to get the water? Her neighbour was pregnant, not a cripple for Father's sake! Stupid, lazy bitch. Her glare was enough to scare away the town's children, who looked like they wanted to trick her into giving them the jug. Tricky little critters, they always knew how to get what they wanted.

After gathering the water (losing the jug twice to the river's currents and having to run after it), Mary went back to the house, cursing her betrothed, her neighbours and even her Father for this stupid life. She was an Angel, an Egyptian queen for Father's, not some servant!

She kicked her door open and was filled with a sense of satisfaction when it made a loud banging noise against the wall. Struggling with the heavy jug, Mary closed the door behind her with her foot and was glad to see that she was alone in the house for the time being.

Or so she thought.

She placed the jug down on the table with unneeded force scowling. She turned to go and cut some apples for breakfast, but...

"What did that jug ever do to you, little virgin?" An amused voice rang out from behind her making her react on instinct. A person who knew she was a virgin (in this life at least) was no good and probably was going to attempt to do no good things to her. She grabbed the knife from the counter and with amazing speed and accuracy hurtled the knife at the stranger.

She met the wide, honey gold eyes of the strangely familiar stanger with a glare that could make lesser men cry for their mommies and a snarl. "Who the fuck are you and how do you know that information?!"

"W-Woa, calm down, virgin." He held up his hands in surrender, shoulder length brown hair brushing against his knuckles, an amused and slightly flabbergasted smirk playing on his lips.

However, his words had the opposite affect than he was hoping for. The woman snarled, momentarily reminding him of a wolf, and stalked over to him. Her hand went to the knife that had pierced his clothes and held him to the wall, pulling it out. He breathed a sigh of relief, thinking that she recognised what he was, but the moment was short-lived.

THWAK!

The knife was inches away from his left ear that he could feel the cold metal biting into his Vessel's skin.

"I won't say this again, who the fuck are you and what the Hell do you want?" She sneered and he smirked, making a certain angel's face flash through her mind.

"I wouldn't call on Hell, or it might just call back." His eyes flared with his Angelic Grace and she gaped. She knew him, of course she bloody knew her reckless, prankster, protective, utterly idiotic brother who practically raised her! Her brother, who was an Angel.

She stumbled backwards until she hit the egde of the poorly crafted table, fingers clutching at the edges to keep herself upright.

"No!" She gasped.

Gabriel smirked, looking rather satisfied at her reaction. "Ok, now before you go begging for forgiveness–"

"Excuse me?" Her voice was so shrill it made the Angel cover his ears, a look on her face that practically screamed what she was thinking about his words. "You–You arrogant little– How dare you?!" She screamed, righteous fury in her words and eyes gleaming more dangerously than the fire of Hell.

Then she realised something and started cursing up a storm. Gabriel stared wide eyed at her. He was impressed dammit, impressed at her creativity, though he had to wonder what a 'double-eyed harlot's donkey suck-ass' was and where he could get one.

"How dare you! Come into my house, possess an unfortunate man who's probably dead by now because he's not your True Vessel, and then ask tell me to beg for forgiveness from you! You've gotten arrogant like our brothers, Gabriel." She spat out, glare not leaving the bemused angel's face. "How did you find me? Did Father tell you where I was? I swear, if you ever tell anyone about me, not even Father will recognise you once I'm through with your archangelic ass, you–you bird!" The last bird was less than creative, but said as if it was an insult.

Gabriel stared at the human woman, her chest heaving and teeth barred, not knowing what to think. At first, he thought the mission that his Father gave him would be an easy one; appear, show the woman he's an angel, have her stare at him in awe or something, tell her about the baby, and have her nod in acceptance at the Holy job God had given her. Having the woman throw a knife at him, curse at him (an what an impressive arsenal indeed, he didn't know half of them), nearly stab out his Vessel's brain, realise who he was exactly (name and all) without any help from him, know about his (unfortunately now dead) Vessel, tell him he's arrogant, not fear him and somewhat scold him, not to mention threaten him, was the last thing he suspected when he stepped into the virgin Mary's home.

"What are you talking about, virgin?" He said bluntly, hands raised nervously because some of the threats she hurtled at him made him uncomfortable and weirded him out. How did a human know how to banish an angel? "I am just here to deliver a message from our Holy Father, God."

Mary eyes him warily. "Well, I don't want to hear it." She said stubbornly, crossing her arms and looking away.

He was a bit miffed to have the human dismiss him so easily, but a Message from his Father was a Message from his Father, so it had to be carried through 'till the end. He opened his mouth to tell her the 'happy news' when she held up her hand a dawning expression on her face.

"You said you didn't know what I was talking about. That means you don't know me, right?" She felt hope blossom in her chest and a silly grin overtaking her mouth.

"You are the Virgin Mary, aren't you?" He inquired awkwardly, because if he got the wrong human... Well... You get the idea. Bye-bye life, hello Death.

A look of pure elation fell onto her face and she did a loud "WOO!" And proceeded to throw her hands in the air and wriggle her body ridiculously and jump around the kitchen, singing "He don't know, he don't know, he don't know me-e-e, oh, he don't know meeee~"

Gabriel was past the point of weirded out and slowly descending into terror by the time she finished her little dance. For one, a human woman – a pregnant human woman – shouldn't be that flexible. It was against the laws of nature! And two, she was more than a bit freaky and he would've guessed she was possessed if not for the fact he could sense she had a human soul, albeit a strangely familiar and peculiar one.

Out of breath, Mary fell into the chair with an easygoing grin, unaware of the fact that the following news will screw her life over twice. "So what did you want to tell me, Gabby?" She chirped cheerfully.

He shifted away from the woman, dread pooling in his Vessel's stomach for an unknown reason. "Well, er, I was sent to tell you that you are pregnant, and in your stomach you bear the Hoky Son of God. Soooo, congrats?"

Her smile froze on her face. "Can you repeat that?" She laughed, slightly hysterically. "Something must be wrong with my ears, because I think I just heard you say I am pregnant with Father's child, which is hilarious because He should know better than to impregnate His own daughter, and I'm also a Virgin, meaning I've never done the deed with anyone." There was a glint in her eyes, just daring him to tell her this was real.

"You heard me. You're pregnant. With God's baby." He knew that was the wrong thing to say when she threw the water jug at him with unnatural force and an ungodly shriek of fury.

"That–That–THAT OLD FUCKTARD! HOW DARE HE–OH YOU BETTER TELL HIM TO NOT SHOW HIS UGLY MUG AROUND HERE OR I'LL CUT HIS DICK OFF, CELESTIAL BEING OR NOT, AND SHOVE IT DOWN HIS THROAT! YOU TELL HIM I'M CHARGING HIM DOUBLE FOR THIS! IMPREGNATING HIS OWN DAUGHTER, WHY THAT SICK FUCK!" She seethed, face contouring into unimaginable fury that made Gabriel feel fear, fear that he hadn't felt since Lucifer exploded at him.

She hurtled curses of unimaginable kind at his father, making him shrink into his Vessel.

"I'll deliver the message," he squeaked, and with a bright flash he was gone, leaving the burned out body for the woman to take care of.

"OH AND NOW YOU'RE MAKING ME TAKE CARE OF YOUR MESSES?! GABRIEL, GET YOUR HOLY BEHIND BACK RIGHT NOW!"

Safte to say, when a shaking and terrified Gabriel returned to Heaven, the Angels were worried, and after he delivered Mary's message enraged and horrified when their Father actually flinched and whimpered.

It was only years later that they fully understood.

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