Author's Note #1: So I don't own One Piece. Been watching WAY too much Doctor Who, considering writing a Jack and 10th Doctor story. I know I mentioned it before, but dear God if Rose's departure didn't kill me, nothing did. And then of course the whole thing with Martha was kinda annoying since she didn't have any drive except to be with the doctor. And on top of that ... Human Nature, that episode ... "He won't love you," and she was all, "if he's not you, I don't want him to" and I'm just like, "LOVE HIM ANYWAY! BECAUSE HE'S DAVID TENNANT AND HE'S ENDEARING AND EVERYONE SHOULD LOVE HIM!" And if you hadn't read one, two, three you don't know, but now you'll know I'm a HUGE fan of Captain Jack Harkness. Him and the Doctor ... One of the greatest scenes I saw was the one where he kissed him. So disappointed he didn't kiss David Tennant ... Also, going to an anime expo, gonna get myself some merch on Sunday!

Sink or Swim
by: Setkia

Summary

It wasn't his fault fairy tales painted fairies as being beautiful and majestic, full of grace and delicate fragility, swan-like and melodious. Looking at the man sitting at his kitchen table who was all brawn and no brains with bulging muscles and green hair, Sanji was pretty sure the fairy tales had mislead him.

PART THREE: LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS

It had been two weeks.

Fucking bastard said nothing was going to change, the liar. Bet he's probably fucking his new wife or whatever.

Sanji stared into the lake and frowned. "Don't make me drown myself again, Marimo!" He stared at the pool of water in front of him, crouching. He knew this was dangerous; one misstep and he would fall in and he couldn't guarantee he'd be saved again by the moss-head. "You said you'd come," Sanji reminded him.

Suddenly there was a flicker of something below the surface. Sanji leaned closer, trying to get a better look at it when he felt hands on his shoulders. He was pushed backwards and he fell down on his butt.

"About fucking time you showed up,— you're not Zoro."

The pink fairy frowned at him. "No, why would I ever want to be someone as un-cute as him?"

Sanji decided not to say anything about that. But Zoro could be cute sometimes in his own, strange way. For a moment, Sanji feared he had forgotten the pink princess' name. "Perona, right?"

"You're disappointed," she said pointedly, crossing her arms.

"No, why would I be disappointed to see such a lovely face?" asked Sanji, giving her a broad grin that didn't quite reach his eyes. "Why don't you leave your pesky husband and run away with me? I'd take better care of you and your wings, unlike that Zoro bastard who does nothing but ruins his—"

"Zoro can't come to the surface."

Sanji stared. "What?"

"He got in trouble with Mihawk— his guardian," Perona clarified. "He … Zoro refused his marriage arrangement and well … Mihawk's going off about how he should be honoured that he was even considered, given his age and how he's used up. Are women still shamed if they've slept with someone before their first marriage?"

"No," said Sanji slowly. "Why?"

"In the fairy world, being married and getting separated, for whatever reason, is like … a crime against fairy law. To think of getting married after you've already committed yourself to another is like blasphemy. No, it is blasphemy. Basically, Zoro's a slut."

"But … But he couldn't control—"

"The Counsel doesn't care about that."

"Pardon my language, but fuck the Counsel!" Sanji grit his teeth angrily. "So what happens to him now? He just gets tossed aside?" His fists clenched at the thought. Maybe Zoro thought little of their friendship and couldn't be bothered to even warn Sanji that something like this would happen, but Sanji had come to care for the moss head.

"You're really worked up about this, aren't you?"

"Well yeah!" Sanji snapped. "It's a matter of lack of free will! He's … He's basically a prisoner to the laws of your dumb-ass Counsel!" Sanji kicked a rock and frowned. "He said nothing would change …"

Perona stared at him, something sympathetic in her gaze. "I'm sure Zoro will see you, he's not a fan of the rules, he'll slip away eventually."

"It's not that he's gone," said Sanji, though that was the bulk of it, "it's that he didn't even tell me it could happen."

"You really care about him, don't you?"

"He's a friend." Sanji shrugged. "Why wouldn't I care?"

The fairy came closer, settling on the rocks. She shook out her wings and they gleamed in the sunlight. Looking like blown glass, fragile and beautiful Sanji couldn't ignore their beauty. "You take good care of them."

"Why wouldn't I?"

"Dunno, Zoro doesn't seem to care about his."

Perona shifted and nodded. "Yeah …"

Sanji's head shot up and he stared at her a little more harshly, which was a strange thing for him to do and he wasn't used to looking at a woman with such scrutiny. "You know something."

"I know many things," said Perona casually.

"You know something about Zoro that you're not telling me!"

"When you're with a moron for a couple of centuries, you pick up a couple of things."

"Tell me," Sanji said, leaning closer. This was scary. Water looked harmless but he knew that the moment he fell in he'd be surrounded by cold and there would be no one to pull him up this time around.

"Why do you want to know?"

"He's my friend—"

"That's your excuse. I have plenty of friends, doesn't mean I know everything about them, doesn't mean I want to know everything about them."

"I'm worried about him," said Sanji softly.

"Why do you care?"

Sanji knew this was not a question he could reply to as easily. He knew if he said "because he's my friend" she wouldn't accept it. She was looking from some sort of answer from him, trying to pull it out of him but he didn't know what it was she wanted. He searched his mind, digging deep inside, trying to find it. "I care … I care because he's important to me." It was whispered. Sanji had seen TV and thought it was stupid when people came to realize something that was so obvious to everyone else, hated the way they slowly pieced everything together because it didn't make sense, it didn't work like that in real life but right now he felt it. The words came tumbling out and he didn't bother to check with Perona if he was saying what she wanted to hear, he just said what he felt he had to, what his mind wanted him to say. "He … he's a pain in the ass, a knucklehead who doesn't know how to interact with anyone. But … I mean he's Zoro, isn't he? A strange combination of mixed parts and odd ends. He's weird as fuck but … I like him that way. I care about him because … I like spending time with him. He makes me laugh, he worried for me when I fell in. He likes my cooking and I like giving him food. He … he makes me happy."

Perona smiled. "Told him so."

"What?"

"Oh nothing."

Sanji shook his head and turned up towards the sky. "Whatever, just … keep me posted, okay?"

"You don't want to know anymore?"

"Nah," Sanji said with a shrug. "It's his business, he can tell me when he wants to."

Perona gazed at Sanji in shock and grinned widely. "Sit."

"What?"

"Sit down, I'm going to tell you."

"I thought I just said I didn't want to know," said Sanji.

"That's why I want to tell you."

Sanji blinked. "I must've missed something here, let me see if I've got this right. Because I wanted to know about Zoro, you wouldn't tell me, but now that I've decided to respect his privacy and wait until he tells me, you're going to tell me?"

Perona nodded.

"That's screwed up."

"Are you rejecting the information?"

"Yeah, I am. Because you make no sense and it's weird," Sanji said. Girls were confusing, at least he somewhat understood Zoro. He stood up from the rocks and was about to walk away when Perona grabbed his arm.

"I'm not letting you leave," she said. "Zoro … he needs someone."

Sanji's mouth opened to retort. Say anything really, about how she should just help Zoro if she's so concerned, or maybe that he's only known Zoro a couple of months and what does that compare to knowing him several centuries? But he couldn't say either because she was a woman and for another, he couldn't bring himself to stop her. Because he knew he should let Zoro tell him in his own time but if Zoro couldn't resurface and he kept avoiding him like this then Zoro may never tell him. Curiosity killed the cat.

Sanji sat back down and was silent, waiting.

"You can see us. It's a bit complicated, but there's a reason for that." Perona paused for a moment as though trying to figure out what it was exactly that she should say. "When you're born, you have a soulmate. I guess that's the proper term for it here. That doesn't mean you can't marry someone else, some people never find theirs. If your soulmate happens to be human, then that human can see fairies, otherwise how would you ever meet your soulmate? The cards aren't stacked in your favour the moment that happens, but that doesn't mean it's impossible for them to meet."

Sanji's jaw dropped. "You're not saying—"

"No, I'm not," said Perona quickly. "Thing is … Zoro was someone's soulmate."

Sanji stared at her. "What?"

"Zoro … well, he was human. For nineteen years of his life he was human. And then he met her. I've heard them say that human being will fall in love twice in their life, true love." Sanji would've laughed at the fairy-tale like way of putting it, but he supposed he couldn't really critic it, especially since he was sitting in front of a fairy. "Zoro … being fundamentally human at his core, could fall in love again and because of that, Mihawk's pressing a … proposal of sorts."

"He's being forced to marry, I know," Sanji said. He crossed his legs and leaned forward, but Perona held him back.

"Zoro said you can't swim, stay away from the edge."

It surprised Sanji. He knew he was Zoro's friend— he liked to think he was, but if this whole not seeing him thing kept up, he might have to question it— but he had never suspected he'd tell others about him. Maybe because he couldn't talk about Zoro to anyone else. And then something clicked in his head. "But Zoro's not human. Not now."

"It's complicated, I won't explain it to you. If you … if you decide … anyway Zoro will tell you about it when the time is right. You can probably see him because he's fundamentally human."

"But I can see you," Sanji pointed out.

"That's because I'm letting you."

Something else she had said struck him. "You said if I decide. Decide what?"

"You seem to care a lot about Zoro's wings."

Changing the topic, was she? Fine, Sanji would roll with it. "Yeah. They just hang off of him like extra appendages that he doesn't use, or take care of, like … like he doesn't want them."

"It's not that he doesn't want them," said Perona, "though I doubt he considers them normal on his person still. It's that … Well, wing-maintenance comes with being able to fly."

"You mean …?"

"Zoro can't fly."

Sanji had to take a moment to let it all sink in. Zoro … couldn't fly? So that meant his wings had been clipped, or something of that sort. He was handicapped in the eyes of fairies, besides also having been previously married. "How …? Is it because—"

"It has nothing to do with being human," Perona said. "It's … well, you know Zoro's a swords-fairy." Wow, that sounded weird. "Mihawk, his guardian is also a swords-fairy. Greatest in the seas and probably on land too. Zoro married into a … a very high up family in the simplest of terms. It's complicated."

"Seems everything is nowadays," Sanji grumbled.

"Sorry about that. I can't explain things all too well because of the whole culture difference. I have to find words that match yours in human language. His soulmate, she was Mihawk's daughter. And … well, Mihawk decided to test Zoro's strength and worth. It didn't end well."

"That scar …?"

"That was part of it. After he crippled him, Zoro said that a scar on a swordsman's back is a dishonour." Perona bit her lip and played with her fingers a little. She wouldn't meet his eyes. "Anyway, Zoro doesn't tell anyone about it, he doesn't talk about it. He doesn't really have to, he's the humiliation of the sea."

"I … I don't think you should tell me anymore," Sanji said softly. "I'm invading his privacy."

"That's why I wanted to tell you."

"But I feel bad about it!"

Perona shook her head. "It's hard to explain but … Anyway, don't go looking for Zoro. You shouldn't, it'll only aggravate Mihawk more. You don't want him upset with you. It'll end badly."

Sanji bit his lip and nodded slowly. "Got it …"

Perona's head tilted suddenly and she sighed. "I've got to go. The Counsel's having a meeting, to figure out what to do with Zoro now and I kinda of have to be there."

"Are you forcing him to get married too?"

"No, it's more like … I can't explain it."

"You can't explain a lot of things, can you?" Sanji's tone was gentle, sympathetic. Though he didn't understand everything he still felt bad for her. She was caught in the middle of some traditional transaction where at least one side was refusing to cooperate.

"You're sweet," she said softly. Leaning up quickly, she gave Sanji a quick kiss on the cheek before diving into the water.

She was gone.

And apparently, so was Zoro.

Sanji was buying extra food for the Baratie when he met her.

She was a cute girl wearing somewhat geeky glasses, looking through her wallet, trying to see if she had enough cash to buy her groceries. To be honest though, the first thing Sanji actually noticed about her was not the cute way she frowned while concentrating or her interesting blue hair, or the fact that she was wearing a woollen coat in the middle of summer, or even that she was holding up the entire line. What he noticed first was the sword.

Sheathed around her waist was a sword, undeniably. Probably an antique and to strap it to her belt in such a fashion … Sanji was reminded of him.

"Need help?" he asked.

The girl jumped nearly a foot in the air. "You scared me!" she admitted, turning to see him. "I just spent a lot of money, I don't know if I can afford the groceries."

Sanji's eyes wandered to the sword. "I'll cover it," he said with a smile. He paid the cashier and the girl refused almost comically.

"No, I couldn't possibly, I don't like owing people, I'm not … I uh … I just mean that I don't have any way of paying you back, I really couldn't —"

"Then … consider taking me out for dinner?" asked Sanji.

The girl got even more flustered. "I barley know you, you're a complete stranger, I couldn't possibly …"

Sanji held out his hand. It was endearing how red she could get in a matter of seconds. "My name's Sanji, and your name would be?"

"T-Tashigi," she said in a quivering tone. "But I really couldn't intrude or impose, I—"

"I've invited you, I hardly think that's intruding," Sanji told her smoothly. "And if anything, I'm imposing myself on you. I promise for our date I'll be a perfect gentleman though, if you'll have me?"

Tashigi stared at him and shook her head slowly. "I … I know your type. You …"

"Pick up girls at grocery stores? Not often, in fact, you're the first." Sanji grinned. "It doesn't have to mean anything, just one date and when it's over, if you don't like me, feel free to spill fancy wine on my head. What do you say?"

Tashigi seemed absolutely frozen.

Sanji took out a pen and paper, quickly writing down his number. "Think about it, call me if you'd like."

He left her standing there in awe. It felt good. He hadn't had a girlfriend in a while, Zoro taking up a lot of his time. And though he knew it was wrong, when he looked at her he could see so many similarities to Zoro in her.

The sword, the odd hair colour, the slight awkwardness.

He smiled to himself.

Perhaps she'd be his new girl.

Sanji was cooking when the call came.

He nearly dropped the oil when his phone started ringing. An unknown phone number.

Tashigi.

"Hello?" he said, turning down the stove.

"H-hi."

Sanji grinned. She sounded adorable. "Going to take me up on that offer?" he asked.

"Do you remember me?" asked Tashigi softly.

"Why wouldn't I remember you?"

"Because … you're you," she said softly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sanji's tone was gentle and soothing. He knew exactly how to handle women. Perhaps he didn't understand how relationships ended with them, but he knew how to start them for sure. He was rather charming after all.

"You're that boy who father's warn their daughters about, the heartbreaker."

"And yet you're calling me." Sanji chuckled softly. "I can't be that bad if I passed the first test."

"Excuse me?"

"I've gotten you interested, am I right?" Sanji pressed the phone to his ear and started cleaning up the kitchen. "Look, I'm not a bad guy, I don't want to break your heart, if you so choose to give it to me. Rather I want to get to know you. If you agree to go out to dinner with me, I won't do anything you don't want. If you'd rather we think of this as two people meeting and repaying favours, then think of it that way. So long as you don't mind paying."

He could tell this was about the time the girl would be grinning slightly against her own volition. "You won't do anything?"

"You would have complete control," Sanji assured her. "I like to make women happy, I like to respect them."

"You don't even know me," she pointed out.

"And you don't know me. Though I think you already know a few things about me and I already know a few things about you. For example, you wear cute glasses, have an interested in antique swords, and call up strangers when they give you their number." She laughed a bit at that. "One date. What do you say?"

There was a pause on the other end. "I …"

Sanji waited. To press too much would become annoying and then it certainly wouldn't happen. He wasn't lying, he never lied to women. He liked her, she was someone he would like to get to know better, wherever it may lead.

"Okay."

Sanji grinned. "Wonderful. I'll meet you at the Baratie, say seven?"

"What if I'm busy tonight?"

"Then I'll just have to wait," Sanji said. "I'm sure it's worth the wait."

"I'm not busy tonight, it was just if hypothetically, I was and all …" She seemed to be chuckling to herself but when she spoke again she sounded alarmed. "The Baratie? That's a rich place—"

"It's on me."

"But then it's not a debt repaid," she pointed out.

"Good point. Guess it's just a date."

He could feel her grin through the phone.

"You have a beautiful smile."

"You can't even see me."

"I'm sure it's beautiful," Sanji said.

When he hung up he stared at the cutting board in front of him. Well he had been completely wrong. Where Zoro was all rough and sharp edges she was soft and smooth. She was pleasant. He considered the course for the night. He knew he cooked a great sashimi, but looking out the window at the lake, he shook his head. It was a strange thought, but what if he accidentally chopped up one of Zoro's fish friends?

Nah, better play it safe and make some yakisoba.

She was breathtaking.

Dressed in a floral shirt, that same woollen jacket and a pair of slightly fancy jeans Sanji felt overdressed. She truly was amazing. She looked slightly lost, though that was okay, she looked cute that way.

"Where is everyone?"

"Oh, didn't I mention? The Baratie is closed for the month," Sanji said, stepping out from the kitchen, his hands in his pockets, a cigarette between his lips. "You look beautiful," he added with a grin.

Tashigi stared at his cigarette for a moment, as though in a daze.

"Sorry, does it annoy you?" asked Sanji, about to take it out when she shook her head.

"No, it's fine. What brand is that?"

"You smoke?" he asked. She was just full of surprises, wasn't she?

"No, someone I know does though." He could tell from the far away look in her eyes she was somewhere he couldn't reach, thinking about someone special.

"Yakisoba good?" he asked her. "I should've asked if you had any allergies."

"But you said it's closed," Tashigi said. He could see the gears working in her head. The door was unlocked, the room was well-lit, but there was no one other than herself and him in the room. He said they were closed for the month and yet he was asking her what she wanted. He knew the moment it clicked in her head. "You?"

"Me," he said, shrugging. "Yakisoba good?"

"Are you in charge?"

"Temporarily. I'm the sous-chef." He gestured the set table in the middle of the room. "Impressed?"

"Shocked," she corrected him.

"It'll be ready in a moment, if you'll wait just a few more minutes," Sanji said. "Unless you'd like to join me?"

"Inside the kitchen?"

"That's where food tends to be made, so yes, in the kitchen," Sanji told her teasingly.

Tashigi's eyes seemed to widen as she took everything in around her and slowly she walked towards him. He took her hand gently and lead her into the kitchen. The smell of cooking food hit her hard and he could tell she was tasting it if she closed her eyes.

"Isn't it bad to smoke around the food?" asked Tashigi, frowning slightly.

"Not really," Sanji said with a shrug. "So long as ash doesn't fall into anything." There was silence as she watched him cook. Unlike usual he didn't feel the need to impress her any further, like showing off how wonderfully he knew the kitchen.

When he was finished they exited and he pulled out her chair for her. She looked slightly upset about it, as though he were mocking her. Perhaps she was one of those feminist types who didn't like being looked down upon.

"So, Tashigi, tell me about yourself," Sanji said, squashing out his cigarette and placing it in the ashtray.

"I … there's not much to tell. I'm twenty-one, I'm studying to be an officer …"

"And the sword?"

"I … I like to collect them," she said almost sheepishly. "I know it's a bit of an odd hobby, they kind of went out of style when the Bakumatsu period ended, huh? That was over two hundred years ago."

"Swords never go out of style," Sanji said.

Something twinkled in Tashigi's eyes, like a child seeing candy on Halloween. "Really?" He could tell this was something she was very passionate about.

"I don't know much about them," Sanji admitted, "but I've developed an appreciation for kenjutsu."

"Yeah?" Her blue eyes twinkled. "I could teach you, about it I mean. I know a bit of kenjutsu myself."

"Really?" Sanji grinned. "I think that would be fun."

They ate with pleasant conversation, both deeply engaged in the topic of swordsmanship and its history. Though it was all good fun, Sanji couldn't help but notice that her eyes kept going towards his squashed cigarette.

"This friend of yours," he said slowly. "The one who smokes," he clarified. "What's he like?"

Tashigi frowned, as though it were something that she had forgotten about and was now brought back to the surface, despite her attempts to forget about it. "He … he's very strong," she said simply and that was all she seemed to be willing to tell him about the man who smoked.

Sanji knew in that instance exactly what was happening. They were both doing the exact same thing.

Burying something deep inside of them by ways of distraction. Sanji did not use women, he did like Tashigi but there was something about her that reminded him of Zoro and he couldn't ignore it. In her … He could see Zoro. And he missed it.

"Can you look at me, Tashigi?" he asked softly.

The girl tilted her head up.

"Look me in the eyes, Tashigi."

Hesitantly and shaking, she met his gaze. He knew it. She wasn't here, she was somewhere far away.

"Let's drop pretences, okay? I want you to be honest with me. Why did you agree to meet me?"

"You offered."

"That's not why and we both know it."

Tashigi looked ready to cry. "Because …" She turned away from him, unable to meet his gaze anymore. Suddenly she lurched forwards and Sanji caught her quickly. She was silently sobbing. Sanji knew he couldn't move from his position, if he did she'd fall forward onto the now-dirty plates. He gripped her shoulders and tried to position himself into a comforting pose, but it didn't work. Instead, he stood up and leaned across the table more in silence as she dug her face into his collar, her tears hitting his neck.

After a few minutes in this somewhat awkward position, she pulled away and stood up. "I'm sorry, I'm a mess," she said. "This isn't fair to you—"

"No, I'm not being fair," Sanji said. "Just step back. I'm not letting you leave in this state and we're going to have a good, long conversation. I can't have you crying, now can I?"

She snivelled but otherwise said nothing as Sanji pushed back the table and grabbed the unopened champagne bottle and two glasses. "Sit."

She sat.

"Tell me about him," he said softly.

"It … it hurts."

"It always does, but the only way you're going to feel better is if you talk about it. A secret for a secret, yeah? Let's trade."

There was silence until—

"You smell like smoke."

Sanji was silent, knowing she needed to get everything out.

"You … you smell like smoke, and cigarettes and …" She paused, trying to catch her breath. "You smell like him."

"Who is he?"

"An officer," she said softly. "Captain rank. He helps out at the school I go to from time to time, as a drill instructor." Her voice was shaky, the after-affects of crying settling into her tone. She was visibly shaking, unsteady. Trembling. "He's … It's so wrong, he's older than me. More than ten years."

"Did you …"

"Yeah. He told me no."

Sanji stretched out his leg and sighed, staring at the ceiling, chewing on the tip of his cigarette. "I'm not going to tell you I know your pain, but I've lost someone too. Not in the same way, but it feels like that. They're older than me too. A lot older." He couldn't explain it and he was sure he couldn't just tell her about fairies, so he kept it vague, but it felt good to talk about it. He had never followed his own advice before. "I didn't get a chance to tell them anything, though I don't know what I'd say. I woke up one day and they were just … gone. After they told me nothing would change. They're getting married."

Tashigi was quiet before she spoke up softly. "You keep saying they, is it …?"

"Yeah."

"Are you …?"

"No," Sanji shook his head, letting out a hoarse laugh that held no humour. "At least, I wasn't until now. Don't think I am. It's just … him. He's …" He sighed and the next word he breathed out felt secretive, as if he'd put too much emotion into it and it held all of his precious secrets. "Special." He glanced at her, who was staring at him. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I don't even know how I feel," Sanji admitted. "Just … being around him … it's … different. I can't even explain it."

"Like you can breathe and at the same time are suffocating?" she offered.

"Yeah. Kinda like that." Sanji squashed out his cigarette. "I love him, don't I?"

"I think you do," she said softly.

Sanji chuckled. "Look at us, moaning about unrequited love. Figures the moment I figure out what my feelings are, everything stops before they start."

"I thought I was the only one," said Tashigi softly.

"No, you're not. We're not. The hardest thing about unrequited love is that we think it's a crime. There are thousands of people just like us. I think you're strong. To deal with it, to not speak of it, to keep it all bottled up. Does your chest hurt?"

"All the time."

Sanji nodded. "You know what? If you ever need to complain about it, cry or shout or whatever, call me. It's not healthy to keep it all in."

"But …"

"This doesn't mean you're weaker," he said, wiping away a newly shed tear slowly. "You're strong, that doesn't change a single thing." He breathed in deeply. "The world's unfair, isn't it? It knows your strong, so it's dealt you these cards. That doesn't mean it should hurt you. Just because you can handle it, doesn't mean you should have to."

Tashigi smiled and it was something tragic and yet beautiful.

Many of the world's greatest treasures were broken.

A week later a stone came hurtling through Sanji's kitchen window, causing him to drop the plate he had been washing. It broke into several pieces and who did he see standing outside his window?

Zoro.

"You're such an ass-baka," Sanji snapped. "Three weeks without a word?"

"Are we married?" Zoro pointed out, rolling his eyes. "Something came up. I was busy."

"Doing what?"

"Stuff."

Sanji took a deep breath. Right. Zoro owed him nothing, he didn't have to tell him everything, even if Sanji really wanted to know. Some may say all you had to do was ask, yet he knew that even if he asked Zoro might not want to share. He wasn't ready yet. He stared at his wings, a new light shining on them.

"You have horrible aim," Sanji said, drying his hands on a dishtowel. "Wait out there for a minute."

He exited the house and found Zoro to be standing in the exact place he had left him. He would've thought he'd have moved a bit, maybe shifted, maybe sat in the grass. But he didn't, he just stood there, with his back to Sanji.

"Oi, what is with this?" demanded Sanji, causing Zoro to jump. Sanji held up the stone in his hand, waving it in Zoro's face. "Do you understand that you're paying for that window?"

"Tough shit, I don't have any human money."

"Come on, you gotta tell me about everything I missed." Though it had been three weeks, at the same time Sanji felt as though not a moment had passed. "I gotta tell you, I met this girl—"

"Stop."

Sanji blinked. "What?"

Zoro gnawed at his bottom lip for a moment before shaking his head. "I can't stay. Not long anyway. I'm not supposed to be up here. I've been … grounded, in a way."

"You're over three hundred years old, how the fuck did you get grounded?"

"I upset the Counsel," Zoro said. "It's nothing major,—"

"Don't lie to me!" Sanji shouted. He hated it when Zoro lied to him, when he left him out of his life, as though he were too stupid to understand it. It made the space between them so much more evident and he hated it. He hated it because it made it feel like it was impossible to bridge that gap, like there was no way, no matter how hard he tried, he could ever reach Zoro and his world. He knew he couldn't but he liked to think, hope, he could.

Zoro flinched.

"This has to do with that whole marriage thing, doesn't it?" Though he knew that it was none of his business, he was glad when Perona had told him Zoro had refused the proposal. Furthermore, even if he knew nothing about the woman who may have her heart on the line, he just felt it was a cheap move of the Counsel to force a relationship. But … even if Zoro had refused, if it meant he got in trouble, if it meant he couldn't see him … "Just marry her already."

"I can't."

Sanji stared at him. He knew exactly what should happen, if this were a movie. Zoro would confess his undying love to Sanji and kiss him, then the two of them would elope somewhere, living inside a quaint house with a picket fence and two point five children running around the yard (regardless of the fact that they were both men and could not have children together, and ignoring that Zoro was a fairy). But it wasn't a movie and such things didn't happen.

"What do you mean?"

"I … Well for one, she doesn't want to marry me." Sanji felt bad for the wave of relief that washed over him. "And even if she did … marriage … it's not supposed to be decided by a law. It's not something you can force to happen, it's not something you can make someone feel, it just happens that way. You just sort of … fall." There was a look in his eyes that just couldn't be described that hit something in Sanji's chest forcefully and left him breathless. "Do you get what I mean?"

"Yeah."

There was something beautiful about seeing Zoro face the sun, his shadow in contrast to Sanji's by quite a lot. His wings shining, glistening. It was beautiful. No …

Zoro was beautiful.

"So that's it?" Sanji said. "You can't marry her so you're grounded and you can't see me anymore?" His voice had gotten quieter, much softer, much more cautious.

"Something like that."

Sanji knew the answer to the question before he asked it, but he needed to know. "Are you in love with someone else?"

Zoro gulped and stared straight ahead. "Yeah." His voice was hoarse, husky. It sent shivers down Sanji's spine and he couldn't speak. He couldn't find words. "I am."

"Can you marry them instead?"

"It's complicated."

Everything was complicated now it seemed.

"You mentioned a girl?" Zoro turned towards Sanji and none of the sorrow in his words could be seen in his face, no trace of unhappiness, he looked normal. Gruff and slightly too violent, but normal for Zoro. "Who is she?"

"Tashigi," said Sanji. "Do you have time for a story?"

Zoro glanced at the sun, as though it were going to tell him the answer to all of Sanji's questions. "Yeah, I've got time."

Sanji felt as though he were lying, as though he were on the edge of punishment and damnation, but he was going to stay anyway. Something fluttered in his chest, wondering if it was because he had asked, because it was him.

Sanji and Zoro talked, making up for lost time. There was no more mention of his previous near-engagement, just about what pointless shit they had been doing. He kept Tashigi's secret, it was something that, if she ever met Zoro, she should tell him if she ever decided to. Sanji made Zoro a meal and he enjoyed it. It was very domestic of them, as though there was no barrier, as though he and Sanji were the only ones in the universe, like they could live like this forever, in the quiet house with no other cooks by the side of a lake, talking into the late hour of the night about nothing.

"I should get going," Zoro said when the sun had set and the moon was rising.

"Sorry, are you going to get in trouble?"

"Nah," Zoro shook his head but Sanji could tell he was lying.

He said nothing, watching as Zoro left, not once looking back and he wondered when, given the new circumstances, he'd see Zoro next.

Tashigi was lucky. Her target, there were so few things against them. An age difference, that was all. Sex, species, customs and culture were all things that stood in Sanji's way. He thought he had known love, but he realized then that he was nowhere close. He had never felt such a strong pull towards someone. It felt like drowning on dry land, like all his bones were on fire, like he would suffocate without him.

No one knew what love was until they saw everything they had ever wanted walk away and you had to watch, knowing you could reach out as far as you possibly could, and yet you'd never reach them. Never touch their feelings, never breach the gap.

Sanji preferred when love was easy and everything made sense, but he supposed maybe that was what love was. Craziness and unpredictability. And he supposed he had no other choice than to just accept it.

But God did it hurt.

Tashigi and he were by the lake. He felt closer to Zoro this way, even if Zoro wasn't there to talk to him. Tashigi had not cried once since that day and instead spoke in an even tone, as though her unrequited love was a fact, same way humans needed oxygen to breathe, something undisputed and unchangeable. Sanji felt he would have preferred her crying than the defeated look in her eyes.

"I know I've asked you before but … what's he like?" asked Sanji. "Why do you love him?"

"I just do, I can't put it into words," Tashigi said, looking out onto the lake. There was something calming about it.

"Try," Sanji pressed.

"He … if you were to meet him, I think you would either be best friends or worst enemies. Your relationship with him is very … eccentric, in whatever direction it goes," she started slowly and hesitantly. "He's … he's not one for rules, he follows his own justice, even if it doesn't coincide with the government. He thinks all lies should be exposed, he'll let the ones who are innocent get away, he doesn't try to hide it when someone was wrongly accused, he admits to it. He's … he's something else. He's … what I aspire to be. Rough around the edges, but good at heart. Bad at communication, maybe a bit dim at times." She laughed to herself and he could feel it. Feel her love when she talked about him. "I love him … I love him because of everything he is. Because of stupid reasons. I love him because he smokes two cigars at a time, I love him because he's got them attached to him like most officers keep extra ammunition. I love him because he yells a bit too much, because he's a pretty godawful instructor, because he likes his coffee black. I love him because he's kind to kids and surprising, because he knows his morals and knows who he is and who he wants to be. I love him because he's got scars, because he's rough with the students, because he tells exaggerated stories about the force to entertain others, I love him because he can smile even after seeing death, because he's learned to accept it and has become stronger from it. I love him because … he's him."

"He's an idiot," Sanji told her softly.

"Nah, I'm the idiot," she said softly. "I knew it wouldn't work. He's so much older than me, he's married to his work, he doesn't have time for things like that. But I still … I don't even know why." She shook her head. "I always wanted to fall in love. But now that I am … I wish they told me about the aching and hurting. I would've avoided it if I had known it."

"It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all," Sanji said softly. "They don't account for loving and never having. Those people knew shit about this."

Tashigi laughed bitterly. "What about you? Why do you love him?"

Sanji shook his head. "It's .. He's like nothing you've ever seen," he said softly. "He's like fire and ice and rage. He's like night and the storm in the heart of the sun. He's ancient and forever. He burns at the centre of time and he can see the turn of the universe and he's wonderful. It's so … it's just so complicated. He's everything. Standing beside him I feel small and bigger at the same time, like I could live for eternity with him. I feel … infinite. Like I could do anything as long as he's beside me."

Tashigi nodded. "Yeah. I guess. Do you ever regret meeting him?"

"No." How could he? Zoro was the greatest thing that had ever happened to him, a new friend, a new world. To say he regretted it would be like saying he regretted being able to have the privilege to see into a world that no other could see. "Never. It's … now that I've met him, I can't remember my life before him, it's just blurs and people and faces. I can't imagine what I would be like if I hadn't met him because I have and to think of living without him … It would involve erasing all sorts of fond memories I have."

"I think I understand. Everyone you meet has affected you in some way. Because you've never gone down a path without him at this point, you don't know where you would go?"

"You're not making any sense."

"I didn't think I did."

The two laughed.

"You're beautiful," Sanji said softly. "I wasn't lying, you really are. If there wasn't him … I think I could very well fall in love with you."

Tashigi shook her head. "No, I don't think you could."

"And why not?"

"I went out with you because you smelled like smoke. You went out with me because I had that sword, am I right?"

Sanji sighed. "I suppose you're right. I'm glad I know him, otherwise I might've never met you and I would've really missed out. You're a wonderful person."

"Thank you."

Sanji looked at her, at her blue hair and beautiful blue eyes. He wanted to will himself to love her. She was amazing, truly. She was interesting, she had goals in her life, she was achievable. He wanted to force himself to love her, for his own sake to make the throbbing stop, and for hers, because she deserved to be loved.

With a shaking hand, Sanji reached out, cupping her face. She reminded him so much of Zoro. Swordsmanship, strange hair, awkwardness but a great personality underneath it all. She almost had the same tragic look on her face, though they were for different reasons, hers for her unrequited feelings, Zoro's for a reason unknown, but probably for his dead wife. He stroked her cheek gently and she leaned into his touch. His cigarette had long-since burnt out and she was leaning closer, probably to get some of that scent of his, the smoke, the reminder of her love.

"Close your eyes," he said softly. "Just … pretend I'm him."

He watched as her eyelids slid close and she breathed in his scent, leaning closer unconsciously. He closed his own in return.

If he could just imagine, just picture him and he could, could see him clear as day, he would feel better. He could see in his mind Zoro with his somewhat spiky green hair, his grey eyes holding so much emotion, his mouth turned up in a half-smile, his arm around Sanji's waist, pulling him closer.

He was so close, he could feel him, could almost taste him. He'd probably taste like sea water and grass, there was something so earth-like to Zoro, as if it were an extra quality of his that just made him humble and more down-to-earth.

"Zoro …"

Almost immediately he was pushed back and he shut his eyes more tightly. Right, this was reality. Zoro wasn't here and that gentle shove to his chest had been from Tashigi, not Zoro. Zoro wouldn't push him away, he wouldn't let Sanji get close enough to need to push him away.

"Sorry."

"Is that his name?"

Sanji bit his lip, feeling more than a little embarrassed. "Yeah."

"Tell me more about him. How did you meet him?"

"It's a bit of a funny story …" Sanji shook his head. "I almost took advantage of you, you should've just slapped me right about now," he said chuckling softly.

"You told me to pretend you were him."

"Didn't work, did it?"

"No, not really." Tashigi sighed. "I wish I could fall in love with you. It would be so much easier if it was like that. You'd love me, if I loved you, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would," Sanji said.

"You would be so easy to love," she said with a sigh. "Why can't I just …"

"Love's not like that," Sanji said. "You don't control it, you just can't. It's not something you can force to happen, it's not something you can make someone feel, it just happens that way. You just sort of … fall."

"That's deep," she said softly.

"Those are his words," he said with a bittersweet grin.

"He sounds amazing."

"He really is." Sanji tilted his head towards the sky. "You know what? I'm actually really glad you stopped me from kissing you."

"Gee, thanks," Tashigi said sarcastically. "I wasn't all that eager to kiss you either."

"That's not what I meant, and you know it." Sanji leaned back in the grass and placed his arms behind his head. "I just mean … I feel like I've matured somehow, that I'm not trying to bury everything underneath pointless, meaningless hook-ups. That I'm not resorting to something so childish, I'm kind of proud of myself."

"I'm glad I didn't kiss you either."

The two looked at each other and laughed.

This was nice. Sanji could get used to this. He and Tashigi shared something intimate that didn't have to be romantic, something that no one other than them themselves could fully understand. Though, he would've loved it if Zoro was here.

Little did he know Zoro had been there.

Author's Note #2: The thank-you goes to one person, veryfineautumn4869. So I think I might've killed you again. Sorry about that. So 4 things: first of all, I seriously started shipping Tashigi and Sanji during this story. I keep shipping the distractions with the main characters. Now for the next 2 things, which are basically if you caught them things. First came a quote, my FAVORITE Doctor Who quote, and right after that quote comes the one about wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimpy stuff. And then of course, the 10th Doctor's monologue. Sorry, I've become a serious Doctor Who fan who watched WAY too much David Tennant. I'm on my last 10th Doctor season and I am sad about it. Anyway, so I put that quote in there. I don't own it. Can you tell what it is? The other was I made a reference to a Frank Sinatra song, can you tell me which song it was? And lastly, what did you think of Tashigi? Guys, PLEASE REVIEW! It keeps me motivated.