Erin knew from the start that having to stay in the hospital for so long was going to be one hell of a struggle for her. It would be for anyone, but given how much that she was missing her work - it was a killer. It had only been a week or so since the accident had happened but all that the detective could seem to focus on was the prospect of getting back out on the field. Everybody else only wanted her to focus on her recovery. It was infuriating. She would have taken a mountain of paperwork any day if it meant that she was able to spend a little time away from the bed that she was stuck in. It didn't have to be a long time. Just something that would stop her from going crazy. Erin never thought that she would miss it this much. It was only temporary though. She knew that. At least, that was what the brunette kept telling herself. The only thing that was standing in her way, ironically, was her legs.

She couldn't think about the negative for too long. Erin knew from past experience how easy it was to get herself into a downward spiral, and that wasn't where she wanted to be. If she thought about it for too long then her thoughts would only turn sour, and the only thing that would fill her mind would be the possibility of her not coming back to the unit at all. That was far more than she could stomach. She knew that she couldn't be replaced easily. Erin almost felt like an asshole just for thinking it but it was true. As much as she hated it when someone called her it, she was Hank Voight's golden girl. There would always be a place for her on his team - he had made that abundantly clear from the very moment that she had stepped foot into the intelligence unit. It didn't mean that there wouldn't be someone else in her place while she was recovering though. It was stupid of her to be jealous. Erin knew that. She just couldn't help it.

There wasn't a whole lot for her to concentrate on being happy about though. She had begun to feel a little more below the waist with every day that passed her by in Med but it wasn't like there was much going on down there even so. Erin was beginning to be grateful for every small twinge or ache that she felt in her legs, she would take anything that she could get, but she didn't want to get her hopes up too high. She had fallen down from up there too many times - but it was better than nothing at all.

There had been a little talk that she was going to meet with her physiotherapist soon but it wasn't much to go on. At least not as much as Erin wanted. She could never managed to haggle a few words out of anyone about it. She was always met with a 'we'll see how you're doing tomorrow' or a 'let's just take one day at a time' on the other side of every question that she asked. The brunette decided to give it to the end of the week. If nothing had started by then, then she would kick up whatever fuss was needed to get something done. The way that Erin saw it, the sooner that she started her therapy, the soon that she would be able to get out of the hospital and back to some sort of normality. If she could get back to normal.

It wasn't all bad. Things would be a lot harder if she were stuck by herself every single day. Sure, the past week had dragged in one hour at a time but she had only made things worse for herself by keeping her eyes glued to the clock above her door. Erin had already caught herself, on more than one occasion, praying to whatever God would listen that the district would be quiet. A quiet week always meant that the days were a little shorter for the unit, and if the days were shorter then Jay was more likely to be allowed to get off early and stop by to visit her. Even if he brought a pile of paperwork in tow. The brunette felt terrible that she was relying on his company the way that she was but it was one of the only things that was keeping her going, one of the only real things that she had to look forward to. Jay had been great. Spectacular, even. He was doing far more than Erin would ever feel comfortable asking of him, but he would never let her protest long enough for it to make a difference. He had been switching between sleeping on a cot beside her bed (an uncomfortable looking army bed with a makeshift mattress on top that the nurse's had brought in), falling asleep on one of the hospital chairs on each side of her, and going home to his own place - though it had taken Erin a fair amount of persistent nagging for him even to consider doing the latter. Jay's stubbornness rivalled her own at times.

Trying to get Jay to go to work most days was even more of a struggle but he had eventually caved. Erin didn't want him to be using up any more of his personal days or holidays on her, as much as she desperately wanted him too. It wasn't like he hadn't offered, and they both knew that Voight would be more than lenient with him, but Erin had turned him down swiftly. Just because she was stuck in Med didn't mean that he always had to be too.

Erin'd had a few other visitors as the week had gone on but Jay...well, Jay was Jay.

The other guys had stopped by to see how she was doing not long after she'd had her spinal surgery. She knew that they wouldn't have waited long. Erin wouldn't have either if she had been in their shoes. It had cheered her up just as much as she had expected it too, regardless of how drowsy and doped up she was. They always managed to put some sort of smile on her face. Erin wasn't technically supposed to have so many people in her room at the one time, especially so soon, and she was more than certain that they had broken at least a couple more of the hospital's rules on top of that - but as per usual, they always managed to get away with it somehow.

As much as it was good to see some familiar faces and hear some supportive words, it was strange. It was like a little bit of life from the outside world had been injected into her room in an instant, but the conversations seemed to fizzle out before they had even really started - taking the traces of normalcy with them. When they were all at the bar or trying to kill some time at the district in between cases, though the latter was rare, it was never that hard for them to find something to talk about and even if they couldn't, a comfortable silence would settle and there would be no pressure. It had been hard enough to squeeze some conversation out of Ruzek when he'd stopped by for Jay let alone everyone else. It was like as soon as they saw the wires and machines around her their words got lost somewhere in their thoughts. Nobody wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room or ask how she really was doing. Nobody wanted to know the prognosis. Like it was some dirty question on the tip of their tongues, aching to get out. Nobody wanted to ask if she was paralysed for good.

A part of Erin was relieved. It was a question she didn't want to answer.

It was different with Burgess and Platt though. Kim had visited her a handful of times after she had finished her shifts but yesterday she had arrived with a care package of trashy magazines and chocolate in hand, and the cheeriest demeanor that Erin was sure she'd ever seen in her entire life. It was a little unsettling at first, and the detective had definitely been taken aback, but she couldn't help but be grateful for the effort that had been made for her. Much to Erin's dismay, however, all it seemed Kim wanted to do was fuss over her. There was only so much pillow fluffing that Erin could take. She knew that the younger woman's heart was in the right place though.

Platt, on the other hand, was a whole other experience in itself. Not that she had expected anything less of her desk sergeant. She had visited a couple of days ago for an hour or so. Erin had always known that she was Platt's favourite - it was plain for anyone in the district to see, and even a little weird at times, but it would be weirder if she hadn't stopped by at all. The older woman could be hostile at the best of times but she'd always had a soft spot for the brunette. It was almost nice. They had made a little small talk at first but that had been pushed to the side quickly and replaced with a more serious topic of conversation. It hadn't been the most comfortable of afternoons, but for the first time someone wasn't babying her or treating her like a victim. Erin hadn't realised how much she had needed to talk about her diagnosis with someone that wasn't a doctor, or whose voice was laced with words that she didn't quite understand, or Jay, whose eyes were filled only with pity when they met hers. Platt had even given her a hug when she had left. It was sort of comforting.

Erin couldn't shake the thought that was in the back of her head though, the thought that everyone was visiting her as though it were to say goodbye. Like she were dying or something.

Voight hadn't come back yet. Not that she had really expected to see him standing at her door again anytime soon. The first and only time he had been to visit was the day after she had been brought in and it hadn't exactly ended well for either of them. It wasn't the first panic attack that Erin had ever had, not by a long shot, but it was the first one that she'd had since dealing with Nadia's death. They were just as bad as she remembered them being - and she still hated them with a burning passion. Erin knew that if the older man hadn't been talking the way that he had been talking, about what had happened down by the silos that night, then she would have been absolutely fine. It made her thoughts build up and up until there was nowhere for them to go, and her mind was filled with Justin and everything that had gone wrong in the past few weeks, and there was nothing that she could do. She just panicked.

Erin had thought about giving Hank a call more than a few times, to talk things over and clear the air, but every time that she had picked up the phone, she'd frozen.

The brunette knew that Jay wouldn't exactly be happy if he knew that she had contacted their boss. She hadn't even bothered asking him to pass on any messages for her, the sinking suspicion littering her mind that the message might not reach its destination if left to him. It wasn't like Erin cared what Jay thought when it came to her relationship with Hank. She knew that he had been the one that sent Voight home and though she had been okay with it at the time, Erin couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of regret in her stomach when she thought back on it now. It didn't matter to her that Jay was still angry with him. All that Erin wanted to do was make amends.

She never thought that she'd be the first one to take the high road.

"Hey, good lookin'," Jay's voice rang out from the other side of the room, dragging Erin straight out of her thoughts and back into the reality that was waiting for her. Her eyes had been fixed to the ceiling for however long that her mind had been consumed with the memories of her friends, and she hadn't even noticed that the door was open. She wasn't even sure that she had blinked in all of that time let alone anything else. In fairness, it couldn't all be blamed on the fact that Erin hadn't been paying attention. Her line of sight was fairly restricted considering that she was stuck lying on her back for the foreseeable.

Erin couldn't stop the smile that spread across her face at the sound of her partner's voice. It was sing-songy and all too cheery for the occasion, and even a little suspicious, but she was just happy to hear his voice. Jay's eyes met her own as he took a few striding steps towards her bed. He didn't look half as tired as he had a few days ago. Erin was glad of that, for his sake - exhaustion had never been a good look for him. She'd told herself that at least if she were the one to send him home, then her conscious would be clear if he decided to stay up until the early hours of the morning of his own accord. She would rather he got a full eight hours though.

"Why do you look like the cat that got the cream?"

"No reason," Jay smiled back. "Have you been awake for long?"

Daytime naps had never been much of a habit for Erin. She'd never had the time. She was pretty sure that nobody that had worked in her unit ever had either. The brunette was happy to take full advantage of them while she was in the hospital though. It wasn't like there was much else for her to do during the day anyway. She was already sick of the daytime television that the cable had to offer - not that she'd ever been a big fan of it before. The surgeries had taken it out of her though, not to mention the drowsiness from painkillers that she was given. Erin hadn't been as tired as this for a long time.

"For a few hours. They took me for a scan earlier," Erin replied, ignoring the slightly panicked look that had begun to take over Jay's face and continuing on. "You're early today. Did Voight let you off early today or are you still not talking to him?"

"He let me off early," he replied, giving her a look that told her that she was better off dropping it.

She didn't. "So you're on speaking terms at least, now?"

Jay ignored her question as she had his expression, though it had now changed and a frown was settling slowly over his face. "Why did they take you for a scan?"

"Something about post-surgery precautions. To be honest I'm not sure. Everything is fine though."

Jay knew that it was stupid of him to be so paranoid but he had gotten used to the sinking feeling over the past few days whenever he was in Med. He just wanted everything to be okay. Desperately. "There are for you." He brought a hand out from behind his back. Jay had almost forgotten that he had been holding onto the small bunch of flowers. He knew that Erin had never been much of a flower type of girl, but that only meant that the novelty would never wear off when she did appreciate them.

"Daisies," Erin let a small grin escape onto her lips, taken aback. "How did you know..."

"How did I know what?"

"That they're my favourites."

Jay smirked. There was a part of him that wished that he had made more of an effort with them. They weren't anything extravagant, or special. He'd only picked him up quickly on his way over to the hospital. Erin deserved the best. Especially now. "I still have a few tricks up my sleeve."

"Thank you," she said. "You really didn't have to."

He replied with a shrug. "Don't mention it."

It was Erin's turn to smirk back at her partner. "So you've still not spoken to Voight then, huh?"

"He's spoken to me," Jay sighed. He wished that she would just drop the subject all together. "That's gotta count for something, does it not?"

Erin tilted her head slightly, the smirk slipping away almost all at once. "Jay..."

"C'mon Er, it's been a long day." He took the flowers from her, placing them next to the vase at the side of her bed. There were still a bunch in them from some visitor or another that had come before him, though he wasn't sure who, but he didn't want to pull them from their place. He would find another vase in a while. "I've been looking forward to seeing you all day. The last thing that I want to talk about is Hank Voight."

The brunette sighed. She didn't have the energy to push it any further. "Okay."

Jay licked his lips, pausing for a moment. He wasn't sure what to say next - how to change the subject. As much as he'd been thinking about Erin all day, it was as though his mind had gone completely blank the moment that there was silence between him and his girlfriend. The brunette tugged his fingers lightly, pulling him towards her. Jay took that as his cue, leaning over and placing a long, slow kiss on her lips. She moved her hand away from his and up to his head, letting her fingers run through his hair before they settled on the back of his neck. For a second, Jay felt selfish for wishing that Erin was better. He knew that he wasn't thinking it for the right reasons.

Erin let out a breath as their lips disconnected. Their foreheads touched for a few more seconds.

"Love you."

"I love you too," Jay whispered, leaning back again and sitting down.

"And it's because I love you so much that I'm about to let you make the most important decision of my day."

Jay raised an eyebrow confusedly. "What would that be?"

Erin looked at him with faux sincerity. "Do you want to watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta or Orange County?"

He grinned. "Now that is an important question."

Jay couldn't help it. It seemed like whenever Erin fell asleep now, he always caught himself watching her chest move up and down and up and down. As if, subconsciously, he were scared that the calm rhythm might cease to exist if he weren't watching. As if he were worried that if he looked away she might disappear. The detective knew that his partner was doing okay right now. She was in the best hands that she could possibly be in and there were people all over the hospital - hell, all over Chicago - looking out for her. Jay just couldn't shake it. It had taken a few days for him to get used to the routine, to come round to the thought that maybe things weren't going to be the same.

He had turned over in bed one morning and reached his arm over, only for it to meet cold sheets and Erin's empty side of the mattress.

It hadn't taken long at all for Erin to drift off after their conversation. As soon as the commercials had hit the screen in between the re run they were watching of Wheel of Fortune, she had closed her eyes and Jay had found himself talking to himself all of a sudden. He couldn't blame her. He was exhausted enough and he wasn't the one that was in the hospital bed.

Jay wanted to close his eyes too. Even if it were only for a second or two.

"I don't want a fight," Hank's voice was quiet but somehow it seemed to fill the room, and Jay's eyes shot wide open in an instant. "I just wanted to see how she was doing."

Jay opened his mouth to reply but nothing seemed to come out. He had been walking on eggshells around his boss for the past week, overwhelmingly angry at him for doing what he had done to Erin. But he knew that all of the drama had to stop. For her sake, if nothing else. He'd just been too proud to be the first one to stand down out of them both. His chest had been puffed since that first night in the ER.

He nodded. "Alright."

Hank hadn't expected such a calm response. He almost looked shocked. He tried to justify himself, the response that he'd practiced in his head when he'd thought about what Jay would say to him. "She's all that I've got left."

There was another seat next to Erin, on the other side of the bed directly across from where Jay had been sleeping. He'd seen the older man eyeing the spot from the very second that he'd woken up. Jay was urging him subconsciously not to sit down, wishing that his boss would just turn around and walk away, but it didn't look like he needed to. It was as though Hank's feet were glued to the ground, and his eyes glued only to Erin.

Jay couldn't help but feel a sharp pang of guilt. He was still mad. He wasn't sure that there was going to be a time when even a little part of him wasn't mad, but he knew just how Voight was feeling. He knew that the older man was struggling with this all just as much as he was. "Just don't wake her up." Jay couldn't tell him to leave. He wasn't going to be like that. It was true - Erin really was all that he had.

"I won't," Hank shook his head, finally moving over and sinking into the empty seat. "How's she doing?"

Jay paused. He wasn't really sure how he was supposed to answer. Honestly? Vaguely? "She's okay, I guess. Things aren't that great with her injuries but you know Erin better than any of us do. She's one of the toughest people I know."

Voight let out a long slow breath, the relief evident. He had expected a lot worse from the younger cop. He'd expected to have to fight his way into the room against hordes of abuse, but it was fine. In all honesty, he didn't care much about what Jay thought of him and about how he'd acted. The only opinion that he cared about was Erin's. Hank was worried that he'd let her down so much that he couldn't redeem himself again. It had been eating away at him for the past week. It had taken that long for him to muster the courage to show his face around here again, and now that he had all that he was faced with was her sleeping self.

He didn't want to be disappointed. He knew that there would be plenty time to make amends, and that Erin needed all of the rest that she could get, but he couldn't help it. At least with Jay on his side a little more he stood half a chance against her when the time came to fix things.

"Yeah, she is."

Jay's eyes flickered away from Voight and onto Erin as a quiet noise from her bed met his ears. Her head was turning from side to side, frustrated even in her sleep that she was restricted in her movement. He knew that if she were at home she'd have kicked the covers off of them both by now. She looked uncomfortable as ever.

"Jay." His name slipped out of her mouth like a whisper before her eyelids fluttered open. Her voice was small. Like a scared child coming into their parents' room after a nightmare.

He frowned, instantly worried. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not feeling so good. Can you grab me some water..." she asked. "Please?"

Hank didn't hesitate, or even look to Jay for some sort of permission. He didn't need to. He was practically Erin's father. It wasn't his fault that his instinctive nature set in. Hank wasn't sure why but the first thing that his brain told him to do was check her temperature. It didn't matter that they were in a hospital. The older man rested the back of his hand against the brunette's forehead, before pulling it away sharply.

Erin didn't even notice that Hank was there. It was as though her eyes were glazed over, a permanent state of dazed and confused settling over her being. The heart monitor by the side of her bed seemed to change rhythm. Getting a little faster with every passing second. It wasn't crazy, but it was noticeable.

"She's burning up."

"What?"

"I said she's burning up." Hank looked as worried as Jay felt. "I'll go get a doctor."

Jay sat back down, pulling the chair closer to his partner's bed. How could he not have noticed that she wasn't feeling well, or that she had a fever. Erin hadn't been asleep for all that long so she must have been feeling crappy before. He took her hand in her own, resting them both against his cheek for a moment.

He thought that she was getting better.

It has been far, far too long. I've been caught up with starting university and to be honest I completely forgot about my fics. Hopefully will get them back on track soon though, but right now my midterms have just started and I'm slammed. Enjoy anyway!