The Unexpected Gift
Disclaimer:- I own nothing but the imagination. Joss etc own the characters and the rights
A/N:- My first fan fic. Season 6 AU but following the same basic storyline. I will be using some of the same dialogue from the episodes. No idea how far I'm going with this we'll just have to wait and see.
Summary:- Buffy and Giles were together and happy, then she died, when she came back she brought something with her that brings Giles back to her.
Reviews:- Yes please, even the flames, after all how will I improve without criticism :)
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Prologue
"I'm not sacrificing my sister Giles, I can't" She said staring at him from across the room,
"She's a part of me, the monks made her out of me" she hugged herself wishing that she was still in his arms, the scent of him still on and around her as she hugged his shirt tighter to herself.
"Do you think I feel good about this? Do you think I want to even think it?" he shouted at her as he launched himself up from the couch. Striding across the room only wearing his trousers, the mood shifting from blissed relaxation to anger and frustration again. Sighing he took her in his arms and crushed her to his chest, his chin resting on her crown,
"I don't want to loose you love, I can't"
"If we stop the ritual from starting then you won't have to" she said wrapping her arms around him rubbing her cheek on his chest. They could hear the others arriving behind the door, Tara complaining about being there.
He pulled back and took her face in his hands, "But if we can't then it won't stop until Dawn dies, you know this. I wish to God I was wrong but,"
"Yeah I know, I can feel it remember" she gave him a small sad smile and placed her hands on his, pulling them away from her face she gripped them as she sent her feelings through the bond, the surprise bonus to their union.
She was accepting his opinion but was resolute on not sacrificing Dawn. He also felt her love for him, something that still took his breath away even now after over a year together. Suddenly he was angry as he sensed the direction of her thoughts – acceptance of her 'gift' my gift is death remember.
"No" he ground out angrily and tried to pull away from her but she used her strength to keep him there, standing on her tip toes she pulled his head down to kiss him and he snapped.
He pulled her up and took her mouth trying to convey his love and frustration by savagely thrusting his tongue into her mouth.
She pulled him tighter to her as she tried to put all her love and need for him into the kiss, moaning against his mouth as he lifted her and pushed her against the wall.
She wrapped her legs around his waist and ground down on his arousal making him growl as he pushed back, his hand moving between them as he slipped a finger into her wetness, groaning as he felt how ready she was. His lips moved to her throat as he sucked and nibbled down to her collar bone, unbuttoning his jeans and pulling the zipper down he moved his cock to her opening and pulled her down onto it, moaning as he felt her slick channel clamp around him as he took her mouth, swallowing the groan.
At the back of his mind he knew he should be using a condom but right now he didn't care, he wanted to feel her, without barriers, his passion clouded mind just wanted her damn the consequences.
He pounded into her, hard and fast, and within a few thrusts he felt Buffy come, tightening around him as she bit down on his shoulder to muffle the scream.
The feel of her shuddering in release and the sudden pain of her bite sent him over the edge and he muffled his groan in her neck as he emptied his seed into her.
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Giles closed his eyes to the memory as he stared at the broken body of his lover.
He had felt her love for him as he had ended the life of Glory's human form and then he heard her in his head, Giles, the vortex is open, I'm sorry I was too late then she had shut him out. Panicking he had run outside and saw the vortex of energy and the figure falling through it.
His heart clenched in his chest as he finally felt her, her pain nearly knocking him over as it rushed over and through him and then it was gone, leaving behind an emptiness and he had known she was dead.
He stood there, tears falling as he stared at her. Then he was moving towards her, collapsing next to her, he shakily held his hand out and felt for a pulse, knowing there was none. He gathered her into his arms as he heard the others crying, he didn't care about them right now.
He picked her up and walked away, back to the magic shop, where he placed her on the couch in the training room closing his eyes to the memories of earlier he wept for his lost love well into the night.
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Chapter 1
Tell Giles I love him, that he made me happier than I have ever been and I wish there was a way I could stay
He still heard Dawn telling him those words. The look on her face, surprise that there had been something between them and sorrow for her sister and what they had obviously lost, sitting with him on the couch in Buffys home after the others had left, the funeral over with, memories of them together washing over him in great swells of sadness tinged with the happiness he had had. Her words had barely registered so she repeated them and held him as he broke down.
He took a shuddering breath and lifted the scotch that was ever present in his hand. His mind already seeing her at the base of the tower, so still after being so alive with passion under him an hour before, her eyes so expressive and bright were closed never to open again. He closed his eyes and remembered her happy smiling face, her hair fanned around her head as she lay on his pillow, sleeping, moaning, laughing, how beautiful she was in the morning light as she slept across his chest, her warmth and love.
Tears falling onto his cheeks he downed the rest of the scotch and stood up, scrubbing his face as if he could move the memories from his head. It had been three months since he had lost the other half of himself and since his return to England he had allowed himself to wallow in his grief, hiding the extent of it from the others so they didn't see his true feelings for his slayer, only Dawn saw his pain, only Dawn knew what had happened.
Tell Giles I love him…...I wish there was a way I could stay
"I love you and wished you'd stayed too" he whispered staring out at the world that she had saved at the cost of her life and their future.
He had no idea how long he had stood there and only noticed the stiffness in his legs when he heard the phone ring.
"Hullo" he answered not caring how his voice sounded hollow.
"Giles?" Willow was scared at the dead tone in his voice.
"Willow? What's wrong?"
"Nothing, well nothing wrong anyway, it's just we did something, Xander, Anya, Tara and I, not bad, good, at least I think it was good, I was hoping to do it while you were still here but then you left and..."
"Willow, just tell me" he said sighing as he stopped the familiar Willow babble in mid flow.
"Buffys back"
He wasn't sure he had heard her right, shaking his head he looked at the phone as if he was making sure it was really happening.
"Giles? Are you still there? Are you ok?" Willow was worried after hearing nothing but silence.
"I'm sorry what did you say?"
"Buffys back, we brought her back"
"I'm coming home" He had barely managed to get the words out and hang up before he broke down, half of him elated beyond words but the other half angry that they had done this.
Pulling himself together he began the preparations to go home.
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A/N Episode is Flooded
Chapter 2
She'd been back a week and was already fighting again. Some demony thing that came with her or was a result of the spell Will used, she didn't know the specifics nor did she care.
She had told Spike where she had been, not because she wanted to but because she had needed to say it out loud, she didn't really think of Spike as someone or thing that mattered so he didn't count.
Now she was staring up at a leaky pipe with a wrench in her hand,
I've been pulled out of Heaven for this! Really!
"Want me to call a plumber?" Dawn asked as she sat half way up the basement stairs, phone in hand.
Buffy turned the pipe "No"
"You sure? Got the number" she waved the phone in the air.
"Dawn I'm on it ok" Buffy said turning to face her sister, getting annoyed now.
Dawn shrugged and watched as she turned the pipe one more time.
Buffy smiled in triumph then slumped as the groaning clanking sound coming from the pipes turns in to an explosion of water.
Dawn got blasted by a jet and ran upstairs screaming.
"Shit"
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An hour later Buffy was standing in the kitchen staring at the water flowing out of the tap, not as powerful as it once was. Her mind registered the others talking but she wasn't paying attention to them. Instead she was flitting between memories, Giles and Heaven, she missed them both.
Willow turned the tap off looking at her with concern, she looked up just as Xander appeared from the basement with another guy.
He handed Willow a bill and walked off. Buffy couldn't understand the problem, Will was acting like the price of a full re-pipe was worrying,
"What's the big deal, we just pay him" she said staring at her friends.
They exchanged looks, "Er Buffy, I know you're still trying to get back on your feet and all but we need to have a talk"
"About what?"
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She wished she hadn't asked. Apparently she was broke, no money coming in and according to Anya she was haemorrhaging money through the house.
Maybe I should burn the house down and collect the insurance she thought as she walked to the bank, applying for a loan sounds great but how am I gonna pay it back?
She was talking to the loan officer when all hell broke loose,
He had to me about my job didn't he
The demon was big and ugly like they all were but Buffy managed to beat him back, after she had cut open her skirt to do it. She had even gone back to the loan officer and tried to get him to pay her for saving his life, like Anya had suggested, but it turned out the bank had been robbed while she was fighting.
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They all convened at the Magic Box so they could research the demon that had attacked the bank, Buffy decided to vent her frustration and anger on the punching bag in the training room.
Willow prattled on in the back ground and she forced herself to focus on her voice.
"….What kind of system is that?" she asked
"You're asking the wrong gal" she said as she steadied the bag before resuming her punches.
"Hey, you're mad"
She stopped punching, "You noticed, it'll pass"
"No..anger is a..big, powerful emotion you should feel"
She stopped punching, why do I have to feel any emotion, "well….that's good then"
She stood there steadying the bag with her hands and shrugged, "It's gone now"
"No! Er let me make you mad again" Willow frowns as she tried to think of something, then it hit her, "Last semester of freshman year, I slept with Riley"
"And you know I doubt that, you were with Tara" Buffy said looking at her dubiously, "besides I wasn't with Riley then remember"
"Oh yeah, ha ha well obviously a lie to….to….cover up the steamy affair I had with Angel"
"Will, what the hell are you doing?"
"Trying to piss you off"
"True, why?"
"'Cause, you know, you haven't exactly been big with the emotions since you came back"
Buffy carefully arranged her face into a blank look, "What do you mean?"
Fidgeting Willow started to explain then gave up, backing away until she sat back down again.
Buffy just starts punching again, why would I show emotions to the people who betrayed me? I'm struggling through the next minute just to breath, just to survive against the shit that is now my life and she wants me to show emotions!
After a while they went back to join the others just as Dawn held up a book with a picture of the demon that had attacked the bank.
"You do research now? Want a pack of cigarettes and a cappuccino to go with it?"
"Would you just look at it"
"Doesn't exactly fit the profile of your typical bank robber" Xander said
"Maybe they turned down his loan" Buffy said giving Willow a small smile, "but that's him, big bad. He was strong guys, no weapons that I could see….." she looked up and saw Giles walking towards her, her mouth finished the sentence without the help of her brain which was being flooded with memories of her time spent with Giles, "Still….real…..dangerous"
The others turned to look at what she was staring at as she started to walk forward until she was face to face with Giles.
"Oh God, Buffy" he said smiling as he pulled her into a hug.
She hugs him back and closes her eyes, he's here, I'm finally home.
"You're alive, you're here and you're still remarkably strong"
"Huh? Oh…..sorry" she let go and stood back.
"Willow told me but I didn't let myself believe"
"I take a little getting used to…..I'm still getting used to me"
"It's uh….you're"
"A miracle?"
"Yes, but then I always thought so"
He cupped her cheek with his hand and looked into her eyes. She carefully shuttered them so he wouldn't see her pain, any of it, he was always so good at reading her.
They walked back to the training room, Buffy avoiding eye contact with the others as she followed Giles. Shutting the door behind her she turned and looked at him, he moved towards her as if to kiss her but she looked down and moved to the couch not seeing the hurt puzzled expression on his face.
She couldn't kiss him, the carefully constructed wall she had built to hide everything from her friends was already weak from his touch, one kiss and it would crumble and so would she.
He moved over to the punching bag giving it a gentle tap, "So…." why did she move away from me? Giles thought as he looked at her.
"I'll start, how was England? How was….life?"
Avoidance. She's hiding something. Ok, I'll play it her way.
"I'm not sure how to answer that, um, well I..I arrived home. I met with the council"
"Fun times" She said looking down so he wouldn't see the hurt England is home now, not me she thought sadly.
"Yes. Otherwise there's, uh, nothing really to uh report. I keep a flat in Bath. Met up with a few old friends, almost made a new one which I think is…..statistically impossible for a man of my age" he shrugged out of his jacket and threw it on the couch next to her not missing the almost imperceptible flinch as it hit.
What happened to her?
"And now you're back" she said looking up at him as he moved closer.
"Yes"
"Wow Giles are you miserable about it or just really British?"
He smiled at her teasing, I missed this, he took his glasses off,
"I can't lie to you Buffy," he sat next to her and noticed as she stiffened slightly, choosing to ignore it he carried on,
"Um….leaving Sunnydale was, uh, difficult. And coming back was uh….."
"I'm guessing the word is...inconvenient?"
"Bewildering"
She looked down and felt his hand on her shoulder, he's warm, I only ever feel cold but he's warm, she resisted the urge to shrug him off.
"And how are you? Really? You look tired?"
"Me? Nah, I'm fine"
He looked at her resisting the urge to call her a liar and just waited.
"I mean, yeah you know, sleeping's hard, but….just because of the waking up in a box thing. So maybe waking up is the problem. But you know, just for a second. I sleep okay. Great even. Accept for the dreams….." she looked away not wanting to meet his eyes.
Oh dear lord she woke up in her coffin? What the hell did those kids do to her?
"You seem to be doing remarkably well under the circumstances. I'm proud of you" I still love you.
"Well, actually it wasn't me. Will brought me back, I just lay there"
"You-You know….I meant.."
"I know what you meant" she said quietly looking down at the floor, looking up she gave a small smile, "It was just a little post-post mortem comedy"
He smiled at her but it was hollow, she stood up needing to be away from the temptation that was him, the temptation to tell him everything and let him hold her as she cried and cursed everyone.
"Well I...I...uh, better go, slay." she said moving towards the back door, grabbing her jacket from the pile of mats she left it on earlier.
"Yes there's always that, isn't there" he picked up his jacket as he stood. Looking over at her he saw the sad smile and the tear that was rolling down her cheek.
"Seems that way" she whispered sadly, leaving without looking at him.
Oh my love, where has my Buffy gone? He thought sadly as he returned to the others.
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While on patrol she took her frustrations out on any vamps that crossed her path. She staked four before heading home feeling better able to deal with Giles.
She retrieved some sheets for the couch but could only find the ones she had had when she was a kid.
Why didn't mom ever tell me how to deal with all of this?
She talked to Giles about her financial problem, sitting on the coffee table in front of him as he sat on the couch.
"Buffy, we should talk"
"Not now Giles, please?" she had known he would want to but she couldn't not yet, not until she had better control over everything that was going on in her head.
"Look at me love" he said gently placing his fingers under her chin.
The tears had welled in her eyes as he used the familiar endearment.
"I can't" she whispered. Shaking off his touch she stood and ran out of the room and up the stairs. Once in her room she shut the door and sank to the floor against it, letting the tears come.
After the worst had passed she got up and climbed out of her window. She needed to get out of the house but didn't want to see Giles again right now.
She returned a little later just in time to catch the end of the argument Giles and Willow were having in the kitchen about what she did to bring her back.
"And I'm far from convinced she's come out of this undamaged" she heard Giles say.
She knew he would notice there was something wrong, he knew her to well, loved her too much not to.
She looked at the floor just as a cigarette butt landed at her feet.
"Hello Spike" she said as she stood on it, putting it out.
"You hear all that noise"
"Just enough to make me feel crappy"
"You know watcher-boy doesn't mean anything by it"
"He loves me Spike" she said looking at him, waiting for the shock but not seeing any, "You knew, about us I mean"
"Heightened sense of smell remember" he said sniffing and looking at the floor, "I could smell you all over each other last year"
"Then why didn't you use it against us when you were playing Adams bitch?"
"Didn't need to, had enough without that to split you lot up didn't I" he grinned at her.
"Prat" she sighed and sat down, "Why are you always around when I'm miserable?"
"'Cause that's when you're alone I reckon"
"Yeah, you're good at finding the weaknesses but it has nothing to do with the fact you're semi stalking me though does it" she said with a grin when his eyes widened a little.
"Bollocks am I"
"Whatever" sighing she put her head on her knees,
"He wants his Buffy back, but I'm not sure she even exists any more"
"She's still there, you just gotta get through all this shit first before you let her out"
"And how exactly do I get through all this shit? Everyone's caring about me so much it just makes it harder to deal, I'm spending all my time trying to be ok so they don't worry but it's exhausting and it just..."
"Makes them worry more"
"Nail on the head. What's worse is I don't feel him any more"
"What do you mean?" he asked as he sat next to her.
"Giles and I had a bond, we were telepathically linked and could feel each others emotions even at a distance. But it's not there any more, or I can't feel it yet"
"Maybe you're burying it under all of the other crap"
"Maybe" she thought about everything she had learned about the bond but as she was the first Slayer ever to have been brought back from the dead there wasn't any lore on what happened to the bond as a result of resurrection.
"Thanks for listening Spike..." she was cut off by the sound of Dawn screaming.
She and Spike rushed into the house to see the demon from the bank advancing on Dawn and an unconscious Giles laying on the floor next to the stairs.
She had Spike throw it into the basement where she pummelled it over and over again with a pipe she had ripped from above her head.
After it was dead she went upstairs to check on Dawn and Giles, waking him up she got him an ice pack but still couldn't meet his gaze.
Anya had figured out how much it would cost to fix the mess as the others were trying to fix the broken furniture. Giving up they decided to throw it all out.
"Buffy?" Giles sat next to her, ice pack in hand.
"I can't do this" she said staring at Anyas estimate.
"Yes you can, you're mother dealt with this all the time. She took one crisis at a time without the aid of superpowers and got through it all, and so can you"
Buffy looked up, meeting his gaze for the first time, "You sure?"
"Positive"
She let herself be reassured but only slightly and then phone began to ring.
"I wonder who's calling me? Everyone I know lives here" she said as she went to answer it.
"I bet it's creditors" Dawn said looking at Giles, "The hounding's begun, I read about it, Do you think we'll starve?"
"I very much doubt it" Giles replied not looking at her. His eyes had followed Buffy out of the room.
"No chance I'd have to quit school to assemble cheap toys in a poorly ventilated sweatshop?"
"Poorly ventilated…...What have you been reading?" he asked staring at her puzzled.
They both looked up as Buffy returned walking purposefully to the front door.
"Buffy what is it?" Giles asked getting up.
"It's Angel" she said as she stopped and turned back to face them.
"Is he in trouble?" Giles asked placing his glasses back on his head.
"No, he knows that I'm….he needs to see me. I have to see him"
"Of course, you'll leave for L.A tomorrow"
"Not L.A. Not here. Somewhere in the middle. There's a..a place"
"I see. Well we should get all these….bills and things taken care of before"
"I gotta go now" she turned to leave then paused and looked back, "um, thanks for taking care of this for me"
I can't believe she just left because that pillock asked her to! And I didn't say I was going to take care of it for her, I want her to do it, she needs to come back to the world if I'm going to get her back.
Giles just sighed and bent his head to look at what needed to be done as Dawn sat there staring at the place Buffy had been standing, a hurt look on her face.
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A/N Episode Tabula Rasawith small references to Life Serial, All The Way and Once More With Feeling
Chapter 3
Well the secret was out thanks to that singing demon Xander summoned, stupid demon she thought, and Spike tried to kiss me after singing about how he loved me, eww major wiggins
She was sat in the doctors office, waiting for the doctor to call her to tell her her test results. She had been feeling funky since the week of 'trying to get Buffy back to living life' experiments.
At first she thought it was the bourbon she drank as she waited for Spike to play kitten poker with some demons, but it had gone beyond the bad hangover stage and then she had started being sick so the week of Halloween and finding Dawn parking with a vamp and that Xander and Anya were engaged, she had gone to the doctors, she was supposed to come last week but with all the singing she decided against it.
"Buffy Summers?"
She stood up and followed the doctor back to his room,
"So what's wrong doc?" she asked as she sat down.
"Nothing, you're pregnant" he said smiling at her.
"Huh?" to say she was shocked would be an understatement, she hadn't been with anyone since she had gotten back and the only person she had slept with in more than a year was Giles, but that would mean….the day I died….oh my God!
"I take it this is a surprise" the doctor said
"Just a little yeah"
"Well hop up on the table and we'll see what's going on shall we"
She stood up, moving on auto pilot she laid back and unbuttoned her jeans pushing them and her panties down slightly. She flinched at the cold gel and closed her eyes as the doctor moved the wand over her stomach.
"Definitely pregnant" the doctor said, "and look, there's another one"
"What?" Buffys eyes opened and she turned her head to look at the doctor.
"Yes look," he said pointing to the screen. Buffy looked and saw two fuzzy grey blobs.
Her hands tightened on her top as she struggled to swallow over the lump in her throat,
I'm gonna be a mom! She thought and as soon as she thought it she felt the bond flair back to life along with the happiness that Giles had awoken when he hugged her
Willows spell was interrupted before it could finish, Buffy shouldn't be back, unless...unless the powers wanted her back for something?
Giles was researching her resurrection. She shut the bond down before he noticed her.
"You seem to be about eight weeks, congratulations" he pushed a button and printed a picture. Handing it to her he wiped the wand and replaced it, giving her a tissue to wipe the gel off of her stomach he returned to his desk as she sat up and re buttoned her jeans.
"I'm going to give you a prescription for prenatal vitamins and set you up with an OB. They will contact you with an appointment for your first check up in a week or so. Do you have any questions?"
"Uh, yeah, my due date? Could you tell me when you think it is?"
He looked at his calendar, "Based on your scan today I'm going to say it looks like the end of August but the OB will give you a better idea when you see them"
"Okay, thank you" She took the prescription and the scan picture and left.
She headed straight for the Magic Box to find Giles.
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Once she arrived, Giles took her into the training room and her happiness lasted another three minutes before he broke her heart.
He's leaving me, us.
"I have to" he said as he sat on the couch.
Buffy sat on the training mats looking at the floor, "Uh-huh"
"You have to be strong. I'm, I'm trying to.."
"Trying to what?" she said angrily jumping up, "Desert me? Abandon me? Leave me all alone when I really need you with me?"
"I don't want to leave.." he said quietly looking at the floor.
"So don't. Please don't" she sat next to him and grabbed his arm, "I can't do this without you"
"You can and you need to realise that. You're strong and that's why I'm leaving..."
"No it isn't" she said standing up and moving away from him. She placed a hand on her stomach and shook her head. She turned to face him,
"You're leaving because you think your Buffy is gone, that I don't love you any more, that I can't because I came back 'damaged' but I do love you Giles, so much, and I'm still me, sort of"
"Buffy...I, I'm..."
"What? Sorry?" she said hugging herself, "I get it, I'm not good enough. Not good enough for Dad to stay, or Angel, Parker used me and Riley cheated on me. But I thought you were different, I thought you were mine and I was yours, but I guess I was wrong" she said quietly as she hung her head and cried.
Giles was on his feet and reaching for her before he knew what he was doing. He gently placed his fingers under her chin and forced her head up to look at her.
She kept her eyes closed but felt his hand cup her cheek, she leaned into his touch, placing her hand on his.
"Buffy"
She opened her eyes when she heard the apology in his voice and saw the pity in his eyes. She shook him off and moved back,
"Don't pity me Giles. You don't know anything" she said wiping her face with her sleeves then she opened the bond at let him feel it, all of it, how much she loved him, how much she was hurting, how scared she was, she let him see her memories and she watched as he staggered back under the weight of it a shocked look on his face as he watched her.
"When you got back and you hugged me I finally felt like I was home. Every minute of every day I have wanted to tell you, to let you hold me as I cried and cursed at everyone and everything. So tell me, Giles, how not strong I am?"
"Buffy stop, please"
She shut the bond off as he collapsed onto the couch.
"You find out I was in Heaven and you decide to leave me. I leave you to fix things because I don't know how to do it right now. All I know how to do is survive the next minute, the next hour. Sometimes it gets to be so much that I can hardly breath"
"Buffy I can't, the urge to give up and lean on me for everything will be too hard to resist right now"
"You're wrong" she said and left him sitting there going back into the shop.
Giles followed and sat at the table with Anya and Tara as Buffy sat on the stairs to the loft, Willow and Xander stood next to the counter, Willow wearing Xanders jacket, Dawn stood near Buffy, glancing between her and Giles.
"I'm glad you're all here, I have something to..."
"Just jump to the chase, tell them that…."
Spike rushed into the shop wearing a tweed suit and a deer stalker, sizzling from the sun.
"I need asylum" he said as he stumbled forward
"I'll say" Xander said smirking at him.
"Hey, it's a disguise, there just happens to be a bloke I don't want to see right now" he said sitting on the counter.
"Well, now we have recovered from Spikes sartorial humour" he glared at spike who just shot him the finger as he took his hat off.
He glanced at Buffy who was leaning back with her hand on her stomach looking paler than she was a few minutes a go,
"I'll jump to the chase, I'm going back to England, for good this time" he didn't miss Dawns surprised look between him and Buffy who was now leaning forward with her head in her hands.
"Now? Not now, I mean not after….everything" Xander said
"Yes, now"
"For real this time? 'Cause honest to Pete a young shopkeepers heart can only take so much….I mean not that I want you to go" Anya said gripping his arm and turning in her seat to look at him.
Everybody jumped when Buffy lurched forward and threw up in the waste basket next to the table.
Giles began to get up but stopped when he saw Dawns glare. She dug a water bottle out of her bag and knelt down next to her sister, shielding her from the others and placing a gentle hand on her back she handed it to her.
Buffy took it with a grateful smile and washed her mouth out, spitting into the waste basket. She lent back on her heels and drank the rest, dropping the empty bottle in the basket as she stood up.
"I can't do this" she said quietly and turned to leave, "I need to think"
"Buffy, listen" Willow said as she stepped towards her.
Buffy stopped and turned to face her.
"I know this must be awful for you, and I, I'm sorry, I….I'm so sorry"
"Sorry. Everybody's sorry. I know you guys are trying to help but all you're doing is making me feel bad for not being okay, it's exhausting and the guilt I feel for not being better for you is killing me!" she shouted,
"I. Am. Trying. I'm trying to survive through the next minute and now I have to...I just can't keep..." Buffy collapsed to the floor unconscious.
Giles and Anya slumped together on the table, Tara in her chair, Spike slumped over on to some books on the counter and Xander, Willow and Dawn fell to the floor.
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It was dark when they all woke up, confused and scared. They had no idea who they were or where they were but judging from the items on the shelves they figured it was a magic shop.
Buffy could feel a pull to the older man sitting with a brunette but ignored it as she bent down next to the scared teenage girl,
"Please don't hurt me?" She whimpered.
"Hey, it's okay, I don't know who I am either" Buffy said as she helped the girl stand.
Behind them the red head had found her wallet and discovered her name was Willow which prompted everyone to search through their pockets for their ID's. The dark haired boy was Alex, the blond haired girl was Tara, the older man was Rupert and the blond haired man who had fallen off of the counter was Randy, possibly Rupert's son, the brunette was Anya.
"I don't have anything" the girl said sadly.
Buffy reached her hand out and pointed to a necklace she was wearing, "That says you're name is Dawn"
"Or Umad" she laughed, "What about you?"
"I don't know" Buffy patted her pockets and pulled out a prescription for prenatal vitamins.
Dawn noticed her frown and looked over her shoulder, "There, it says that you're Buffy Summers and wow, you're pregnant"
"I guess" Buffy said touching her stomach and looking down.
"Aren't you happy about it?" Dawn asked frowning at her.
"I don't know" Buffy was confused, if she was pregnant then that meant she had a boyfriend, but which one was it? She looking at the three men in the room. Again she felt that odd pulling sensation towards Rupert who had just discovered he was engaged to Anya, oh god! Am I his mistress? She thought horrified at herself.
She looked at Dawn, "Please don't say anything"
"Sure, but you should be happier you're pregnant ya know"
"Can you shut up about it! God you're annoying"
"God you're bossy"
They looked at each other and smiled,
"Hey, you don't suppose we're.."
"Sisters?" Buffy finished. Laughing they hugged.
"You never showed me affection like that" Randy said to Rupert, who just looked confused, "I'd wager"
"Well we need to figure out what's going on. And get help" Buffy said facing the others.
"Looks like Buffy fancies herself the boss" Randy snarked, they all ignored him.
"Well we have a teenager here and we have no idea what's going on so I think a hospital is our best bet"
Rupert looked at Buffy, feeling a strange pull in her direction, why do I have the feeling I am intimately familiar with her body? He thought, and why do I wish it was her and not Anya in my arms right now?
"Yes, I agree, let's find a hospital shall we" he said moving towards the door.
The rest followed but when Buffy opened it they were met by the sight of two vampires snarling at them.
They all screamed and Buffy slammed the door joining the others hiding underneath the window.
They heard the vampires calling for Spikes and kept calling 'Slayer get out here'.
After a short discussion, Alex and Willow went to the back to see if there was another way out while Randy went to retrieve the 'Spikes' the vampires seemed to want.
They each took one and Buffy felt like it belonged in her hand. Willow called them back saying she and Alex had found an entrance to the sewers. As they all moved towards the back the front window exploded as a vampire jumped through it, screaming they ran only to stop as another vampire burst through the back door.
Alex got on his knees and started praying, to several Gods, but the vampire ignored him and went straight for Randy. Buffy was grabbed from behind and she struggled to get free,
"Get the fuck off of me you son of a bit.." she was cut off as the vampire slapped his hand over her mouth.
Randy had shoved the stakes he was carrying at the vampire holding him but it brushed them aside saying he owed his boss kittens.
Buffy managed to break free and she kneed the vampire in the crutch and punched him, she ran to Randy and staked the vampire holding him.
"Whoa!" Dawn said surprised.
"Buffy, what did you do?" Willow asked.
"I don't know but it was cool" she said smiling.
The other vampire made a run for it and they let him go.
They decided to split up, Dawn, Alex, Willow and Tara would head for the sewers, Giles and Anya were staying at the shop to look for a spell that might help and Randy and Buffy were going to make a run for it to draw the vampires away as it seemed they were gunning for him.
Outside they ran into trouble and a vampire grabbed Randy as Buffy was fighting another one.
Randy turned and morphed into a vampire and hit him sending him flying.
"Randy!" Buffy said shocked then screamed as he turned and she ran away.
"Hey!, Buffy what is it?" he called chasing after her.
He catches up to her but she throws him to the ground and tells him he's a vampire, they're both confused as to why they don't want to attack each other.
"Hey maybe I'm a noble vampire, a vampire with a soul?" Randy said pushing himself up on his elbows.
Buffy snorted and sat back, "A vampire with a soul, how lame is that"
Suddenly she was pulled off of him and thrown to the ground. Flipping to her feet she kicked at one vampire and bent down to stake him.
As she stood up her memories returned, crashing over her in a wave of pain and sadness that took her breath away leaving her vulnerable to a punch from the vampire, knocking her onto her back, he kicked her in the stomach twice as Spike called her name.
Spike dealt with the vampires, staking both then turned to the demon and told him he would get his kittens.
He rushed over to Buffy who was still lying on her side, curled inwards her arms hugging her stomach.
"Spike….hospital…...babies"
He cocked his head to the side and concentrated, "Oh, bloody hell" he said as he heard three heartbeats, "and that wanker's just gonna leave?"
"Spike!"
"Oh right, okay up ya come" he picked her up and ran as fast as he could to the hospital.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Spike stayed with her as she was examined and given the all clear, keeping up his diatribe against Giles the entire time, Buffy had had enough.
"Spike, will you shut up!" she snapped as he got particularly graphic as he walked her home, "he doesn't know and when I went to tell him, he told me he was leaving"
"So, he should know what he's leaving you to cope with"
"Why? If I had told him he would have felt obligated to stay and I don't want him that way, I'll be fine. He wants me to be strong, so I'll be strong"
"Bollocks Slayer!" he snorted, "No ones that strong, I'll help" he said stopping and turning her to face him, "Whatever you need"
"No Spike, thank you for taking me to the hospital but I don't need you to help me with this, I can do it myself" she started to walk away but he grabbed her to him and covered her mouth with his.
"Get off!" she shoved him away and followed through with a punch, "I told you before, it is never gonna happen. Touch me again I will stake you"
She walked away from him not seeing the smile on his face.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N Episode Smashed
Chapter 4
Buffy was walking home from the Magic Box, thinking about Giles and their bond which since he had left had given her nothing but static like an old radio with a weak signal, when she saw a couple backing up against a wall in an alley, stalking quietly closer she saw two men advancing on them, one of them rifling through the woman's purse.
As the wife offered a deal Buffy decided to interrupt,
"I always wanted a pony" she said staring back at the people now looking at her, "Oh, you weren't really talking to me were you? My bad, Well as long as I'm here..."
She walked forward and kicked one of the men who stumbled back, dropping the purse, he and his partner stared at Buffy in fear.
"Wow. A mugging. Haven't had one of them in a while, usually it's blood, and with the horror….just a good old-fashioned mugging. Kinda sweet actually"
She looked at the couple who were staring at her like she'd grown an extra head. She bent down and picked up the woman's purse and handed it to her,
"Oh, uh, probably not for you. Here. Go. Now" she watches as they run off.
One of the muggers attacked her and she blocked his punch, punched him instead then grabbed his arm and twisted it around behind him. She holds him there as she kicked the other one in the back.
"Not too sweet for you either, huh? But come on, rush me. it'll be funny" she said as the other one got up.
She then watched as Spike jumped in and punched him. She let go of the one she was holding as she struggled not to laugh as he rolled around clutching his head.
"What the hell are you doing?" she asked him
"I thought they were demons"
"Way to go with the keen observiness, Jessica Fletcher"
"Remind me not to help you" he glared at her as he stood.
"More often?"
"Hey, little sympathy for the man with the migraine here"
"That's what you get for attacking a human"
"Yeah, you'd think if the government was gonna put a chip in me head, they'd at least make it so I could attack criminals and that sort"
"Yes, because muggers deserve to be eaten. Just gonna have to get your rocks off fightin' demons"
"There are other ways" he said suggestively, Buffy gagged.
"And to that an extreme 'see you later'" she turned to go, spinning around as she felt him following her, "Stop following me Spike! I mean it!"
He held up his hands and backed off, smirking at her.
Sighing she headed home. She was tired, Giles had been gone for almost a fortnight and she had started to show, thankfully a baggy sweatshirt was helping her hide it but it wouldn't be long before she had to tell someone other than Dawn.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Buffy put her keys on the table by the door as she shut it behind her, shrugging out of her coat she hung it up and looked around,
"Willow?"
Heading up the stairs she rehearsed what she wanted to say in her head, you know how we all make choices and some are good and some are bad? Well I think I've made a bad one. I'm pregnant, with twins and I didn't tell Giles about it before he left. Oh and he's the father, we got together a few weeks after I dumped Riley, surprise. Lamelamelamelame.
She went into Willow's room and saw her sitting cross legged on the bed leaning back against the headboard.
"Hey, how you doin'?" she asked smiling at her.
"Oh. Uh….okay" she sat up as Buffy sat down on the edge of her bed.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. Not parades and cotton candy, but...okay"
"Will, um...can I talk to you about something?"
"Of course"
She fidgets nervously, "Right. Okay. Um...You know how we all make choices? And sometimes they're good, and….sometimes they're….less good.
"Uh huh.."
"Well, I think that I, uh..."
She looked up as the bathroom door opened, "Oh, hey Tara..." She looks again, "Amy?!"
Amy looks at Willow, "The whole school?"
Willow nods as Buffy just stares at each of them.
"By a giant snake thing. Okay, still adjusting. Hi Buffy" Amy said smiling at her.
"Hi. How've you been?" Buffy asked awkwardly.
"Rat. You?"
"Dead"
"Oh"
"Well I should let you guys catch up, I can.." she looked at Willow thinking What did you do?
"No no no, stay. Do you have any cookies?" Amy asked twitching.
"Uh, yeah, w-what kind?"
"Any kind. Not cheese"
"Um, sure, in the kitchen, I'll just get 'em" she started to get up.
"Oh no, I'll grab 'em" she said as she moved to the door.
"Okay, well at least, you know, let me make up the couch for you. It's late, you should stay, everybody does"
"Thank you" Amy said distracted as she walked out of the room.
Buffy stared at Willow who was avoiding her gaze.
"Wow" she said, blinking at her.
"I know" Willow smiled
"Is she gonna be okay?"
"Don't know she's kinda freaked. I mean, I would be too"
"Wow"
"I just realized I could. Thought of the right thing and...it's nice, having another magically inclined friend around"
Buffy looked down at her hands, so not telling her about Giles and the twins now
"So, what were you gonna tell me? You were sounding serious"
"Huh? Oh. Uh, it's nothing. I men, the whole Amy rat thing….no way I'm toppin' that"
Buffy left Willow to it and went downstairs to check on Amy. They talked about nothing but then Amy said about the frozen guy at the museum, she watched the news segment before grabbing her jacket and heading over there.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wishing she was neck deep in a hot bath instead of standing on the front lawn of a museum she watched as an ice statue was rolled out on a gurney into the back of an ambulance, camera crews following.
She looked around and started walking around the side of the museum, she stopped and looked back at the crowd then carried on when no one noticed her. She stopped as she saw a familiar figure in front of her,
"Great, it's my stalker" she said annoyed.
"Well, well, well. Look who decide to show up"
"What are you doing here Spike?"
"Well you know a man was frozen alive in there. A little compassion, luv"
Buffy just rolled her eyes and walked past him, sighing as he fell into step beside her.
"Uh, you know as long as we're both here, you might as well tag along. I mean, as a team we could..."
"Yeah that never ends well, does it? I asked you to stop following me Spike so, could you just, go away"
He grabbed her and spun her to look at him, "He's gone Buffy, never coming bac..."
She hit him not letting him finish, it was bad enough she thought that but to have Spike voice her fears….not happening.
He hit her back and as she hit the floor she didn't notice that his chip didn't go off. By the time she faced him again he was faking it. Buffy got up and backhanded him, knocking him to the floor and walked away leaving him there, missing the evil grin on his face as he got to his knees.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The next day she was at the Magic shop with Anya, Xander and Willow trying to research the frost demon, she suggested calling Giles even though she really didn't want to. She had a feeling that he had done something magical to block the bond which meant that he didn't want to talk to her, or feel her, and the realisation had broken her heart.
Willow got out her laptop, something she hadn't done in a while and the happy she felt at seeing it soon disappeared as she used magic to search.
They all knew why Tara had left but it didn't seem like Willow was gonna change any time soon.
Willow left soon after to go and check on Amy and they kept researching, they spoke about Willow and what she was doing, eventually agreeing to keep an eye on her and to give up on the research as Anya pointed out that there was no such thing as a frost monster who ate diamonds.
The phone rang as they were packing up the books so Buffy answered it, rolling her eyes when she realised it was Spike and hanging up when he tried to get her to meet him.
"So what did Captain Peroxide want?" Xander asked as he handed her a stack of books.
"For me to meet him, he's still trying to get me to 'like' him, thinks he has a better shot with Giles gone" she said putting the books back on the shelves.
"Why would Giles being gone give him a better shot?" he asked smirking at her back.
"Well…" she stopped and thought about it, I have to tell someone, might as well be Xander,
"It might have something to do with the fact that her and Giles were doing it last year" Anya said as she closed the cash register.
"Anya!" Buffy said spinning around, surprised she knew. Then she looked at Xander and noticed his smile, "Wait you knew?"
"We all did" he said shoving his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels, "We went round Giles' place last year looking for you and heard you two going at in his bedroom. We didn't say anything 'cause we figured you would tell us when you were ready"
"Yeah," Anya cut in, putting her hand around Xanders waist and laid her head on his shoulder, "that's why we were so surprised he left you, we thought you would be happier with him here"
"I was" Buffy mumbled. Sighing she looked up at them, "I'm not the only one he left" She said and lifted her top, turning to the side so they could see her little baby bump better.
"What? How? Did you...uh..did you and he, uh.." Xander said shocked as he looked at her obvious bump.
"No we didn't. Willows spell brought me back exactly as I was just before I died which included the twins" she said lowering her top.
"Twins!" Xander collapsed to the bench his hand slapping his forehead.
"Does Giles know?" Anya asked looking at her shrewdly.
Buffy sighed and sat down, "No he doesn't. I found out the day he told us he was leaving and I was gonna tell him but, then, you know, badness"
"Buffy" Anya sat next to her, "He deserves to know, he's a good man, he'd come back if he knew"
"Exactly. I don't want him to come back because he feels he has to, I want him to come back because he wants to"
"Buff, he didn't want to leave you" Xander said leaning towards her.
"Yeah? So why did he? And why has he cut off our bond?" Buffy said angrily. She stood up and grabbed her jacket.
"I don't wanna talk about this and neither of you can tell him, I know he still calls you at least. Promise me!"
"If it's what you really want then we promise" Xander said staring at Anya until she rolled her eyes,
"Fine, I promise, but I don't like it"
"Neither do I really but it's my life and the sucky love life of men who leave me is just part of it" she grabbed a couple of stakes and shoved them in her pockets, "I'm gonna do a quick sweep, I'll see you tomorrow"
She left before they saw her tears and didn't see Xander angrily clenching his jaw.
Spike found her on the way home.
"And so my night is now complete" she said not stopping.
"You never showed"
"Sorry little busy doing things that are actually important"
"You shouldn't be so flip luv"
"What are you gonna do, walk behind me to death?"
"I'm just saying things might be a little different" he said as he walked in front of her and forced her to stop, "You oughta be careful"
She shook her head, "Enough" she tried to move past him but he blocked her path again, "Get out of my way Spike"
"Or what?"
She shrugged and punched him in the face. He reeled back a little but caught himself then hauled back and hit her back causing her to spin around.
As she straightened up and turned back towards him she noticed he wasn't in pain.
"Oh the pain! The pain! Is gone" he said mocking her, "Guess what I found out. Looks like I'm not as toothless as you thought luv"
"How?"
"Don't you get it? Don't you see? You came back wrong" he sneered at her, "That's why old Rupert up and left you"
"No!" she shouted at him as she lunged at him. She took all of her frustrations out on him, beating him down, not giving him a chance to fight back.
"What's the matter Spike? Not going how you thought it would?" she said as she kicked him through a door into an abandoned house,
"Thought I'd be too shocked to fight back so you could knock me around a little?"
She head butted him and knocked him back into the fire place, watching as it crumbled on top of him. He shot up then and hit her back, she spun away from him staggering a little into the post at the bottom of the stairs, hissing as she felt something slice into her back, before she could recover he hit her again knocking her to the floor.
He stopped his attack as she laughed at him, stumbling to her feet she lay a hand over her stomach as she glared at him,
"Wanna know the best part of you being able to hit me back Spike?" she asked as she straightened, staring him in the face.
"This!" and she staked him, purposefully missing his heart.
He screamed in shock and fear as he fell back, hitting the floor with a thud.
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"The only reason you are alive right now is because I'm grateful for what you did while I was dead. Come at me again whether it's to hurt me or try to kiss me, then next time I won't miss"
She walked away and left him in the ruins of the house, hand on her belly and limping slightly.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
When she got home Tara and Dawn were sitting on the couch staring at the tv.
"Buffy what happened?" Dawn asked jumping up.
"Got into a fight, you know me" She said reassuring her.
"A-are you o-okay?" Tara asked looking at the bruise on her jaw.
"I'll be okay, hey Dawn? Could you grab me an ice pack?"
"Sure but next time just say you want to talk to Tara" she said grinning at her.
"Can we sit for a minute?" Buffy asked
"S-sure"
As they sat down Buffy gasped and clamped a hand to her stomach. Her eyes widened as she felt a bigger bump than she had. She stood up and moved her shirt out of the way, yep definitely bigger.
"Y-you're p-p-pregnant!" Tara said shocked
"Uh, yeah but I wasn't this pregnant an hour ago, I'm only eleven weeks!"
"I-it's p-probably because you're the s-slayer" Tara said placing her hands on Buffys belly and closing her eyes, "they're p-protected by something. W-what h-happened tonight?"
"Spike" she said sitting down after moving the waistband of her skirt under her bump, "he can hit me, says I came back wrong"
"N-no B-buffy, y-you d-didn't" Tara said shaking her head, eyes wide.
"Then why can he hit me? And it's only me, his chip still works"
"D-do y-you want me t-to look into the spell t-that b-brought you back?"
"If that's okay, yeah, I mean I don't feel wrong but maybe I am, maybe that's why Giles left" she said, tears welling in her eyes.
"Oh Buffy, Giles loved you, you must know that" Tara said as Buffy began to cry.
"Then why did he leave?" she sobbed into her hands. She felt Tara pull her into her arms and just hold her as she cried.
"Does he know about the baby?"
"Babies. It's twins and no, he told her he was leaving before she could tell him and she didn't want him to stay because he felt he had to" Dawn said walking back into the room with her ice pack, "What happened to the bump? You were barely showing this morning"
"No clue, it just grew" Buffy said looking down at it, she turned to Tara "You can't tell him, I don't want him to feel obligated to come back" Buffy said allowing Dawn to put the ice pack on her jaw.
"I won't tell him, I promise" she said, "Uh Buffy? When did you get pregnant?"
"Before I died. Willows spell brought me back as I was just before I died which included these two" she said rubbing her now noticeable bump, "Would that explain the rapid growth?"
"Maybe, I don't know, I'll look into that as well"
"Thank you Tara" Buffy said hugging her, "Could you come with me to the OB tomorrow? I don't want to go alone it's at ten"
"Of course I'll come with you, I'll be here in the morning"
"Are you sure, I could meet you, you know, some place that's elsewhere"
"No it's fine, I'll meet you here"
"Okay, now I'm going for a bath, work out the sore spots, Come on Dawn, you need to get to bed too"
"Fine" she grumbled heading to the stairs "Thanks for the milkshake Tara" she called over her shoulder.
"Do you want to stay? It's late" Buffy asked as she stood up.
"No it's okay, I'll be fine, witch remember" with that Tara left and Buffy headed up for a bath.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
A/N No episode but references Wrecked, Gone and Doublemeat Palace.
Chapter 5
Dear Giles,
Week from hell! And no I'm not exaggerating. Willow went full crack ho with the magic after Tara left her, bringing Amy back, partying all night and got me in a car accident while she was running from a demon she accidentally conjured when she was seeing a 'magic dealer' so now I have a fractured arm.
Don't worry though, Buffys asked her to quit and we got rid of all the magic stuff today, even the candles which I don't think is fair but Buffy says it's to help Will so okay.
Buffys doing better, lot's better actually, she's pissed at you and I hear her cry at night when she thinks I'm asleep but she's getting on with it. She cut her hair today right before she was turned invisible by Jonathan, that kid who built Spikes Buffy bot and Tuckers brother. Turns out they're 'super villains' now and it was them screwing with Buffy that week she hung with you all trying to get back into the swing of things.
Speaking of Spike he's been stalking Buffy and he can hit her for some reason. His chips fine, he can't hurt anyone else but he can hurt her. She came home with a bruise on her jaw and a limp and the ba…, er her back was cut but she was awesome, she staked him but not in the heart 'cause she said she was grateful he helped when she wasn't around and she told him that if he came at her again, to hurt or try to kiss her, she'll stake him for real.
Buffy thinks she came back wrong and that's why he can hurt her and why you… Tara looked into it and said that she was fine but she's stuck on the 'came back wrong' thing.
She's applied for lot's of jobs but only the Doublemeat Palace called for an interview, so I get to make fun of her in her crappy uniform haha.
Oh and when she was invisible she messed with the social services woman who showed up as we were getting rid of Willows magic stuff and thought her dried sage was weed and how it was Buffys fault what happened with the car accident, they're sending someone else now.
Xander and Anya are going nuts with the wedding planning, she was talking about making the bridesmaids wear burlap and blood lava, you should have seen Buffys face!
I'm doing okay, really looking forward to the, uh, the end of school. It's really boring this year.
Xanders mad at you, that's why he hasn't been answering your calls, and I'm not allowed to tell you why. He said that when he's calmed down then he will call you but all it takes is for him to look at Buffy these days and he gets angry again.
Willow said she'll call soon once she has the hang of the magical recovery program.
Buffy, well you know how stubborn she is, she still loves you though and she's only so mad because she misses you, why did you shut off the bond? That broke her heart I think, she was out all night when she realised what you had done.
That's all folks :)
I miss you
Love Dawn x
So Xander was mad at him, that much was obvious when he stopped answering his calls, it wasn't because he had left because he said he understood it so what was wrong with Buffy that would cause his anger?
Buffy. He found himself tracing her name as he looked over the parts of Dawns letter that mentioned her.
She was doing better but there was something going on with her that he wasn't supposed to know. He smiled when he read about her staking Spike but he couldn't stop the tears from blurring the words, she thinks she came back wrong?
He was regretting leaving, he missed her and he regretted blocking the bond, I broke her heart? Oh love I'm sorry
The letter was dated a week ago, he looked at the clock, it was nine their time. He picked up the phone and dialled Willows number.
"Hey Giles"
"Uh, yes hello Willow. How are you?"
"You got Dawnies letter then?"
"Yes, it left me with some concerns.."
"I'm doing okay, it's hard, sometimes it's really hard, like today with the old woman and the demon snake thing coming out of head I was really tempted but I was good, I didn't use"
"Dawn! What the hell is this? Were you gonna send this to him?"
"He needs to know Buffy! Look at you! The circles under your eyes have brought friends, you're exhausted!"
"So? He left Dawn! He left me, us. He wanted me to be strong to face life and that's what I'm doing"
"Er, um, hold on a second"
He could hear the argument, the sound of Buffys voice, even angry, made his heart race at the same time his stomach twisted with guilt as he listened to what she was saying.
He heard Willow shut her door but he could still hear the argument.
"Okay, just another Summers smack down. How're you doing Giles?" she asked, sounding uncomfortable now.
"What's going on with Buffy Willow?"
She sighed, "We're not allowed to tell you"
"Tell me what? Is Buffy injured?" he was getting anxious now.
"No, no nothing like that, she's tired but she's coping, same old stubborn Buffy"
"Spikes patrolling 'cause you can't any more all because of this magical p.."
The sound of Dawns voice was cut off as Willow chatted happily away.
"Did Dawn tell you about the invisible Buffy incident? That was freaky for a while, not being able to see her but with her talking to us, kinda like she was a..."
"Why isn't Buffy patrolling Willow? What's wrong with her?"
"She's um, sick, that's all, nothing bad just a touch of, uh, stomach flu that's.." she was cut off by Buffys scream.
He heard her door open and her scream got louder, "Will, it's growing again" he heard Dawn say.
"Uh, Giles? I'm sorry but I gotta go. I'll call you tomorrow"
With that she was gone, leaving Giles sitting on the edge of his seat, gripping the phone so tight he heard it creaking.
What the hell is happening? He thought as he put the phone down.
He had just sat back when the phone rang again. Lurching forward he snatched up the handset,
"Willow?"
"Dawn don't!"
"Shut up Buffy, this has got to stop"
"Giles?"
"Yes, Dawn! What's happening? Is Buffy all right?"
"I don't want him back like this!"
"Tough. No she's not Giles, she's pregnant"
"W-what? How?" he sat back, the air suddenly heavy.
"We think Willows spell brought her back exactly how she was just before she died which just so happened to include the babies."
"I-I'm sorry, d-did you say b-babies?"
"Yep, two of them, a boy and a girl. Congratulations Daddy"
"W-what….w-when did she know?" I have a son and a daughter?
"The day you left, she was so happy and she was going to tell you but then you dropped your little bombshell so she kept it to herself"
"Why? I would have stayed if I had known" he said angrily, sitting forward he ripped his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"That's why she didn't tell you and why she made us all promise not to tell you. She didn't, doesn't, want you to feel obligated to come back, even though she misses you"
"I miss her too Dawn, I didn't want to leave her but she wasn't ever going to stand on her own if I had stayed"
"That's crap and you know it" she snapped angrily, "she was struggling, she needed help, all you had to do was tell her you weren't gonna do it for her any more"
"She told me it felt like your mum was back when I was there.." he was cut off by her laugh,
"You know for a smart guy you can be such an idiot"
"I beg your pardon?"
"She said that because you made her feel safe and happy and loved again. She told me that until you were there she felt cold, all the time, but then you made her feel warm"
"I-I didn't know" he said softly closing his eyes, what have I done? he thought.
Taking a deep breath he tried to settle the churning in his stomach.
"So she's only about four months along?" he asked.
"Um, no. We don't know if it's 'cause she's the slayer or 'cause she was brought back but every time she, or they, feel like her life's in danger or it might be 'cause she gets injured in a fight, we don't know..
"What is it Dawn?" he interrupted as she babbled.
"The babies grow about four weeks in minutes. It's happened twice now"
"Will? How far along is she now do you think?"
He heard Dawn ask Willow how far along she was away from the phone but didn't hear the answer.
"Will says she thinks she's about six months now"
"Give her the phone"
"Okay, your funeral"
He waited for what seemed like an eternity, catching a whispered argument and an angry hiss from Dawn before he heard Buffy sigh.
"What Giles?" she didn't sound angry, just resigned.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked gently, "Don't you think I would have wanted to be there for you?"
"You didn't before, why would me being knocked up change that" she said softly.
"Buffy, I wanted to be with you but..."
"Why did you block the bond?"
"I had to, I could see your dreams and it was killing me, it's not permanent, I can reverse it, I carry the spell with me" he said.
"Oh, a warning would have been nice, I thought you were dead until Anya said she had spoken to you"
"Oh Buffy, I'm sorry, I-I didn't think"
"Obviously"
"Were you ever going to tell me?"
"No"
"Why?"
"Because I wanted you to come back because you wanted to not because you felt guilty for leaving you're pregnant ex-girlfriend behind"
"When did we become ex? I don't remember splitting up with you. I left to give you time to learn to stand on you're own again"
She sobbed down the phone and his heart broke, she thought I had left her!
"Buffy, I never left you, you're my whole world, I'm sorry"
"Giles?" she whispered, "Open the bond again"
He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and slipped the spell out. He whispered the phrase then closed his eyes and concentrated on the words until he felt her. He heard her gasp and cry harder as she felt him again.
He saw a memory of her standing in front of her mirror in nothing but her underwear, turned to the side as she rubbed her swollen belly, her hair was shorter. Looking down at it she whispered I think I'm gonna name you Danielle Eleanor and Alexander Edward, what do you think? And saw her smile at the little nudge she received in reply.
"Buffy, you're beautiful" he whispered, tears in his eyes as she realised she had given them his parents names.
"What did you do?" Dawn asked
"Dawn? Where's Buffy?"
"She's asleep, for the first time in a long time she actually looks peaceful"
"I opened the bond. Why Danielle?"
"It's Willows middle name. Are you coming home?"
"I'll be there as soon as I can"
He hung up and closed his eyes again watching her dream for a while before reaching for the phone and dialling the council.
He had a lot to do before he could leave and that included getting a doctor who knew who Buffy was to take care of her.
After hanging up with the council he moved to his study to finish the translation he had been hired to do, all while a part of him stayed connected to Buffy.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It had been a week since Dawn had defied Buffy and told Giles about the babies and Buffy had never been happier.
Since the smell of the Doublemeat was making her nauseous all the time she had had to quit, not that she was sad about it. Giles had told her not to worry and had wired a large sum into her account, he had told her that despite what he had said he had never meant for her to risk her health and that now she was pregnant with his children he would happily take care of her.
She would lay in her bed of a night talking to him through their bond as he finished his translation and arranged for his things to be shipped back. He also said she should look for a new house, big enough for all of them that he would buy. Buffy had been hesitant at first but he had insisted so she had agreed on the proviso that their house would be rented so that Dawn could have it if she wanted it when she was older.
The doctor from the council showed up a few days after the phone call and had given her a thorough examination. He had told her that there were no outside forces affecting her babies, that it was the babies themselves who were magical but there was nothing to worry about and that they were perfectly healthy.
So they're magical Giles said through the bond sitting in his arm chair. After he had finished lunch he had felt Buffys nudge, her version of a knock at the door.
Looks like they take after their Daddy she smiled as she heard his silent chuckle. She hissed in pain and tried to get more comfortable in her bed.
What is it?
Oh it's nothing, one of them is digging into my kidney, can't tell which but the doc said that Danielle is more active so it's probably her
Takes after her mother then he chuckled at her mental frown.
You never said if you were okay with their names
Buffy they're perfect, stop worrying
As long as you do too
That won't ever happen, it'll be easier when I can see you properly, hold you again
I can't wait for you to get here, how much longer will you be?
I don't know, a week, maybe two
That long she sighed in frustration
I know, I feel the same way but the council want me to liaise with the coven in Devon before I leave
I'm already huge, by the time you get here I'm gonna be too big and tired to do anything but kiss you
He chuckled at the pout he could hear in her voice.
That will have to do until you are up for more, uh, strenuous activity
He laughed out loud at her growl.
I can't wait to see you again my love, to feel you in my hands, to kiss you
Me either. Do you think you'll be here for Xander and Anyas wedding
Oh most definitely. Have they really decided to only have us there?
Yeah, they both said that we're the only family they really have so it'll be just us with a few of Xanders friends from work and a few of Anyas demon friends from when she was a vengeance demon
I must say I was flattered he asked me to be best man
He did? Anya made me maid of of honour
Will I be stunned by how beautiful you will look?
Oh you'll be stunned all right she yawned
Go to sleep my love, we'll talk tomorrow
Okay, G'night Ru
Sleep well my love
He hummed Brahms lullaby until she had drifted off, her dreams once gain centred around him and the twins.
Smiling to himself he packed a bag and left for the coven.