The following trailer is rated H for Honest.From the indie game developing company that sounds like they make really good weed on the side. (Huniepot)
Comes the next generation in dating simulator games, that actually feels more like a Japanese Adult Visual novel…. (Play NHK Clip here) Hentai Games! With a… bit of a puzzle-game twist.
HUNIEPOP.
Journey into the bright & colorful town of Dawnwood, a humble town that is named after an obvious sexual innuendo, has no men, and for some strange reason can still procreate. Despite what the wiki will tell you.
Seriously am I the only one who notices there are like no men in this game besides the player? And no, YOU don't count.
Meet Kyu…. A brown haired nymphomaniac love fairy with a red dress that has no straps, or broken straps? Seriously what's with this dress? How does she keep this up?! Seriously! I wanna know.
Kyu is a helpful, but foul-mouthed Love Fairy whose job is to help poor s**t sacks like you get laid.
(Kyu: It's my job to help you with the ladies. It's just….what I do.)But that's not the only thing she does! On your journey of sexual discovery, watch as Kyu does really creepy s**t like…..
Raid your phone too look at pictures
Sneak into your room while your asleep
Read the porn magazine stash under you bed that you didn't even know you had
Give you gifts out of nowhere like Santa Clause
Give you a phone that literally allows you to stalk other girls
And…Collect every girl's pair of panties just because she…likes the smell.
Ughh….WTF? She's got some problems man.
Even though you're being stalked by a perverted bro-ham fairy chick with cosmo green eyes and wanda pink hair….
She will guide you on your quest for some serious poontang!
Meet the girls of Dawnwood from Huniepop's impressive lineup of Ms. America pageant contestants!
There's Aiko Yumi, the sexy teacher who's as perverted as you are… Yet somehow cooler than you are, is down to earth, and probably doesn't get enough love than she deserves. But man…if there was ever a sexy teacher too play….she's it!
(*David Guetta's Sexy Bitch plays while we see Aiko's sex mini-game*)There's Audrey Belrose….The Mega-Tsundere stereotype that you'll probably want to punch in the face.
Beli Lapran, an even hotter version of Princess Jasmine from Aladdin.
There's Jessie Maye… A pornstar! ….Uhhh…I-I got nothing after that. I mean there's nothing else too her. She literally treats you just like porn treats you. She's a pornstar. Oh and… I guess she drinks a lot? And….she has a daughter or something? Eh whatever.
Then meet the game's other hotties like….
Kyanna Delrio! A Hispanic chica….
(Show's chica's Jumpscare from FNAF)DAGH! NOT THAT CHICA!
Lola Rembrite…
Who's seriously piping hot like chocolate! Girl those things must be Reese's cups, because your perfect! I had too seriously pause like Twix when I saw this chick! That ass makes me happier than Hershey's chocolate! I'm gonna break it like a kit-kat bar!...These sexually chocolate puns doing anything for you guys?
Then there's Nikki-Ann Marie. A reclusive gamer nerd, who probably argues and trolls people on internet forms about how Call of Duty sucks.
And finally Tiffany Maye, Jessie Maye's daughter who follows practically every Blonde Character stereotype. Like…..
Having Blonde Hair & blue eyes….
Being insanely hot.
Getting good grades.
Being a cheerleader.
Being Ms. Popular.
Hanging around campus all day.
Dating the quarterback.
And being a playful PAIN. IN. THE ASS.
Oh wait….she's not like that at all? What are you smoking Huniepot? Seriously!...And can I have some!?
However, the harem party don't stop there! As you are treated too what DashieXP calls more "PUH"…
(*Shows a clip of PUH FOCUS*) Dashie: I'M NOT RUNNIN' FOR DA PUH DOE!
The one we don't talk about. (Momo)
The hottest one in the game that's also an alien from outer space. (Celeste)
And the Goddess of love, Venus! Because why stop at love fairies, cat people & aliens when you can become tap the ass of a goddess!
(*we hear Venus climax at the end of her mini-game*)Does this game count as porn? Seriously, I just had sex with a goddess! I feel like I'm king of the f**king world!
So try to keep your dick in your pants….As you blow through an endless marathon of Dating puzzles.
Filled with things like…..
Ripping off Bejeweled.
Ripping of Cookie Jam.
Ripping off Candy Crush.
Seeing the girls in half-naked outfits. (Show's Lola's Bikini)And getting brutally shot down every time your dumbass fails a date.
(Aiko: What an ass!)Thank you! I know I have a great ass.
Prepare yourself for one of the most sexually intriguing games off all time! Full of so much sex stuff, your computer will look like a white slimmer paved all over it by the time you're done.
But the nerdy virgins at Huniepot know exactly what they're doing….As the game keeps you interested in the girls personalities by doing things like…
Giving them specific traits.
Giving them weird outfits.
And having one of them literally consider you her boyfriend.
(Jessie: Well….if it isn't the love of my life.)Then….watch as your sexual escapades literally blow up in your face, as your relationships crumble into a horrifying cheat show of sexual destruction right before your eyes. The girls go into a horrible depression, and one of them even tries to cut your dick off!
Oh wait….that doesn't happen at all….Well it should! I mean…your sleeping with like…a bunch of girls at once. This would totally not work in real life.
AND….If banging everything that walks isn't your cup of tea…. Prepare your testicles for Huniepot's half-assed S**t-sequel that takes away everything that made the first game great.
HUNIE CAM STUDIO.
If you thought you were a sex-deprived mad man bent on destroying the lives of women before….You haven't seen nothing yet! Watch, as the new huniepot game makes the first one seem tame in comparision with things like….
Dick Trophies.
Exploitation of the Cam girl business.
Treating the girls like Sex Objects.
Kyu being a mean, annoying, bossy bitch instead of a playful, friendly and helpful bitch.
Feeding the girls Drugs.
Getting the girls Drunk.
Getting the girls pregnant.
And…having your own smut peddling business!
Well….this is boring….Ugh….Seriously Huniepot what the hell are smoking?!
STARRING…
THE TOOTH FAIRY'S HOT FRIEND….WITH BENEFITS. (Kyu)
HOT FOR TEACHER. (Aiko)
MEGA-NEEDS A MAXI PAD. (Audrey)
BELI-DANCER. (Beli)
NEYTIRI FROM AVATAR. (Celeste)
JENNA ANDERSON. (Jessie)
HIPS DON'T LIE. (Kyanna)
HERSHEY'S KISSES. (Lola)
BEASTIALITY & CHILD PORN AT THE SAME TIME?! WTF?! (Momo)
THE BLUE BOMBER. (Nikki)
BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S. (Tiffany)
SLUTTY PALUTENA. (Venus)
AND…. THE POOR SAP WHO CAN'T GET A GIRLFRIEND AND IS PROBABLY MASTURBATING DURING EVERY SEX MINI-GAME…. (The Player)
HUNIEPOP- DAT PUSSY.
Am I the only one who thinks this game is a little too realistic? It's like it was meant to be a safe alternative too porn. *gasp* HOLY S**T! They've cracked the code! HEY! Where's the next hentai game!